Ten Years Later...

I know it's a holiday (even though I have to work!), but I thought if I didn't post something, I may be cursed with ten years of writer's block! 

It's February 15, which is, of course, the MUSIVERSARY! Aka the anniversary of the day I first came up with the idea for Uneven Lines...or more accurately, the day Jordan birthed himself out of my brain and chucked his story at my head like a brick. 

And this year's a big one. Yup, it's been ten years since that fateful day when after watching some trashy daytime television, I decided I wanted to write a story about a student-teacher relationship (because I'm an idiot!), and a few hours later, the aforementioned brick was hurled at me. I spent the next week in a writing frenzy, busting out the first draft of said story (a short story at the time) at a remarkable pace, and honestly, I've been chasing that high ever since. 

It hasn't been easy. Life has gotten in the way. Writer's block, lack of motivation, being told I shouldn't be writing this story at all. Having people tell me they want to read it and when I actually send it to them, they don't. 

I certainly wish I had finished this story years ago. I can't believe it's been so long, actually. I somehow feel like I've worked SO MUCH on this story, but also not enough. A ton has changed since that first draft, and for the better, but I've still got a lot to figure out. I really do love this story, even if parts of it aren't where they need to be. 

I honestly have felt out of touch with Jordan for a while. It took me a long time to realize that. That drive to write just isn't as strong as it used to be. I know it might sound crazy to actually have a relationship with your character, but it felt that way. I used to talk to him--we had inside jokes and little fights like brother and sister. He'd never miss an opportunity for a "that's what (s)he said" kind of quip. I've come to realize that I miss him. I don't want to lose what I used to have with this story because it's been too hard, or I've gotten too distracted or depressed to 

When I started writing this post, I didn't think I would end up talking about all this. I thought I was going to say how I couldn't believe it had been ten years, and that I'd be celebrating with cupcakes (I am, though...it's a musiversary requirement!). I guess I just needed to write down what I was feeling on this occasion, because it's definitely bittersweet. 

There is a glimmer of hope, I think. A couple days ago, I was struck with inspiration for my last chapter (at 3 AM of course). I'm hoping to actually celebrate with some writing today! I really just want to bust through the rest of the third draft, go back and fix the things I know need to be fixed, and then maybe get some readers so I can get some thoughts on what I can't seem to figure out. That's my newest plan, anyway. I'll just take it one step at a time.

I still love this picture XD 

You're Out of Touch

I have about a million reasons for avoiding my writing. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating. A little. I haven't really been working on Uneven Lines for months now, and there really are several reasons. It's hard. I don't know how to wrap it up properly. It's too long but I don't know what to cut. No one in their right mind is ever going to want to read it. I'm writing a book with a teenage protagonist that really is a book for adult readers. Wait a second...do I even know how to write realistic teenagers??

When I started this book almost 10 years (yes, 10, literally next week, don't remind me) ago, I was 23. Not exactly a teenager, but certainly closer to my teenage years than I am now. The teenagers back then probably weren't that different than the teenager I had been. But in ten years, a lot can change. I'm not sure if my teenage characters are characters who would really exist today. 

Now, I think certain aspects of teenagers never really changes. You know, certain behaviors and attitudes. I'm not even talking about language, because I don't really want to use any type of slang in my book because that would set it in a very specific time. I don't really want to commit to a specific year (just not 2020. In fact, I think it takes place in an alternate universe where 2020 never happened), maybe because I don't know when I'll actually finish and publish the thing, but I'd like it to not feel dated not long after it's finished. 

It's more the little things I think about. When I started this story, I had just gotten my first smartphone. Emojis weren't even a thing. A lot of the social media that exists now didn't exist back then. I really don't know anything about Snapchat or TikTok. I would assume my characters would be using these platforms religiously. But how do you find that balance that feels realistic? If I mention these things too much, doesn't it seem forced or make it very obvious that I don't know what I'm talking about. But if I don't mention them at all, doesn't that feel unrealistic? 

My characters use their phones. A lot. Texting is definitely a thing in the book. I don't know if I'm overthinking all of this. I know that Jordan is the type of person who wouldn't post too much on social media even if he did have accounts, at least not at the beginning of the book. He's an aloof and closed off person, but he also says he's popular. Does that make any sense at all? What makes a person popular these days? I even worry his coming out subplot feels dated. Part of me feels like a real teenager in Jordan's specific circumstances would never feel the need to be in the closet in the first place. But changing that up would mean changing A LOT of the book, main plot included. 

Also, I keep seeing that teenagers on TikTok are saying that skinny jeans are out, and you can pry Jordan's skinny jeans off his cold, dead legs. 

I know what you're probably screaming at your computer screen: RESEARCH, SARAH! RESEARCH! I should read more about social media, about what teen's lives are really like these days. I know, I know. I think I just worry that I'm not going to get it right no matter what I do. And having been working on this story for so long, the idea of figuring out so much stuff is exhausting. But I suppose I have to do it if I ever want to actually finish the thing. 

How do you keep your characters/ideas current? Do you use Snapchat or TikTok and can you explain it to me XD ?? Ok that was a joke. Kind of. 

Shake Things Up

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

Since I'm struggling a bit figuring out what to write about, I thought I'd start with this month's optional question:

Blogging is often more than just sharing stories. It’s often the start of special friendships and relationships. Have you made any friends through the blogosphere?

I'd definitely like to think I've made a few friends through the blogosphere! While I've never met any of my blogger buddies in person, we keep in contact through other social media besides just reading each other's blogs. I think the type of friends you make through blogging are very important to have. You have a lot in common as writers and can lift each other's spirits in ways that people in your "real" life may not be able to. 

So back to my struggling to write...it isn't limited to blog post ideas. Despite all my efforts to make goals and get back into writing this year, I haven't written anything yet. The closest thing I've done to writing is putting together a book playlist that's been on my mind for a while. Whenever I set a writing goal, I just avoid it. Every time I start thinking about UL, I get discouraged thinking about all the work I still have to put into it. I've even thought about completely rethinking the last third of the book AGAIN. I know I should focus on the things I know have to be fixed before trying to figure out the rest, but I just feel burnt out with the whole thing. I want to find a way to shake myself out of this slump. 

Part of me thinks I need to write something fun. Something with absolutely no pressure. I feel like that was kind of the idea behind my Sexy Fluff stories, but they kind of got away from me. Maybe I've just thought about them too much. I think I need something simple, or maybe something really different. Try a different genre. Maybe try some poetry again! 

I feel like I just need SOMETHING to jump start my drive to write, because sitting around avoiding it isn't making me feel very good. 

How do you get out of a writing slump?