The Productivity Curse

I'll keep this short because I'm kinda feeling like crap. My fiance has had a cold for about a week and I think I finally got it. It's mostly just a cough but since it's the first day of the cold AND just so happens to also be the first day of a certain time of the month (TMI, sorry!), I just kinda want to crawl under the covers.

This sort of thing seems to happen to me all the time. I was all set to be super productive today. I was going to exercise and clean my apartment and get lots of writing done. Now I'm thinking I'll probably just watch TV all day and eat whatever the hell I want instead of trying to diet. I even made a huge to-do list for today but I doubt much of it is going to get done (luckily the first thing on the list is to write a blog post, so maybe I can feel at least a little productive).

Seriously though, every time I make a plan to be super productive, something happens to throw me off. I'll get sick or the cat will get sick or there will just be too much noise. There's always something. Which I guess is just a lesson in life. There is usually something trying to throw you off your game. Sometimes it's easy to fight through it and ignore it. But when it's something like a cold and one of my goals is to exercise every day, it's not so easy. I could probably find a way to sit here and get some writing done even if I don't feel well. But I can't push myself to do something if it isn't physically possible.

I guess I'll just have to take this week one day at a time. Hopefully I'll be feeling better tomorrow and be able to get into the routine I wanted. If not, I'll just be in bed chugging cough syrup and aspirin.

Blog Breaks are OK

I didn't blog at all last week. I didn't plan it, but it just happened. Didn't write any posts, didn't read any posts, didn't even tweet all that much. Sometimes a break is just necessary, even if you don't plan it or even see it coming. I'm just trying to get it into my head that taking a blogging break is not the end of the world.

I think a lot of bloggers worry that if they take a break, everyone will forget about them, which is pretty silly. You'd have to take a pretty long break for people to actually unfollow your blog. You may have to actually give up blogging altogether. Chances are you'll still have some followers who will hold out until you actually say you're not blogging anymore. So that fear is pretty much just paranoia. If you take a week or even a month off, no one is really going to care. Once you get back into it, they'll still show up and read.

Part of my problem is that pretty much the only time I'm actually writing something is when I'm blogging. So if I stop blogging, then I'm not writing at all. I would feel better if I took a blogging break in order to get some work done on my novel. But that's not likely to happen. Also, earlier in the year I tried very hard to blog three times a week, and I kept up with it pretty well. But at a certain point I started to feel burnt out. I had no ideas left and didn't really want to blog anymore.

So last week when I just didn't feel like it, I said, screw it, I won't. I usually like to say when I'm taking a break but I didn't even want to do that. I'm trying to figure out the best way to get back into blogging and actually enjoy it. Well, I do find that blogging is a lot easier when I'm being productive with other writing and have something to talk about. So maybe if I was working on other things the blog ideas would come more naturally.

I'm also not holding myself to the three posts a week requirement. I'd like to still do it, but if I can't, then that's ok. I'm still going to blog every Monday but then Wednesdays and Fridays will happen if I actually have something to write about. I do have a few ideas for some fun, non-writing related posts which would be great for Fridays, too. And I may or may not be planning another blogfest for later in the year (shhhhhh!!!).

But in the meantime, if I take a day off here or there, I'm not going to feel bad about it.

When do you usually take blog breaks? How long are they?

Writing Stuff

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group. Click the link to learn more and sign up!

Something I tend to be insecure about is my identity as a writer. A lot of writers stick to one genre, others can write pretty much anything. I feel like I'm somewhere in between. I have written different genres, but it seems like I stick to the same one for years at a time and then move on to something else. If someone asked me what I write, I wouldn't really know what to say.

I have, however, always liked my Twitter bio (which I've never changed): "I write stuff. There's an imaginary teenage boy in my brain who helps me. Otherwise, I'm pretty normal." Short, sweet, and to the point. Well, it's Twitter, so it has to be short. But sometimes I read it and feel like a complete fraud. There's the "I'm pretty normal" part, which is a stretch, but we won't get into that. And I think I hear someone saying "who the f*** are you calling imaginary???" to which I would say, "BE QUIET YOUR POST IS NEXT WEEK."

But really it's the "I write stuff" part. How true is that? Am I actually writing stuff? Well, yes and no. I haven't written a poem in probably three years. I haven't really worked on my novel (except for a few tidbits here and there) for one year. All I ever really write are blog posts. So can I still call myself a writer? Well, I still want to write, and I still get ideas, so the passion is somewhere in there even if it's so far buried I don't know where to find it.

On the other hand, it's pretty vague, which works for me. Not "I'm an aspiring novelist and poet." Not "I'm working on my WIP and hope to be published soon." Just, "I write stuff." It's entirely true. Sometimes it's just a blog post or a tweet or an email. Sometimes it's a random line of dialogue from Book 3. Sometimes it's an editing note for Book 1. It's not always a lot, but it's usually something.

So maybe I can't say a lot about being a writer. But I can say that I write stuff.

Out of Coffee, Out of Ideas

Our supply of K-cups is getting dangerously low and since it's the dreaded "every bill is due" week, I have zero money to spare. Yeah, I have a credit card, but I'd like to stop using it for a while until I can pay a good chunk of the balance off. So there's a good chance I will actually run out of coffee within the next few days.

Sometimes you run out of things. Toothpaste, cat food, time, money, patience. You probably run out of at least one thing every day. What I always seem to be running out of is ideas. Novel ideas, poem ideas, blog post ideas. That happens just about every single time I have to write a blog post. I have no clue. I can only write about the fact that I'm not writing so many times without annoying people or repeating myself. I've even talked about running out of ideas before, and here I am again. But what do you write about when there's nothing to write about?

The first thing I figured I had to do was to go a little easier on myself. If I don't feel like blogging three times a week, no one is going to care. It's ok to take off a Friday now and then. Not every blog post has to be this great revelation or writing tip that's going to make a huge impact on everyone, either. It's ok to ramble, too. You can tell people about your vacation or your pets or just anything that's going on in your life.

I actually started to have a good idea today, but I figured it would be better suited for Wednesday's IWSG post, so I'm saving it. I like to hoard my good ideas for the right days. Like if I actually do happen to come up with a great writing tip post idea, that's a good post for a Monday. Something silly or more personal may be better for a Friday. There's a lot of timing and planning involved, even if it's on a day by day basis.

But more often than not, I'm coming up with my post ideas the day I'm supposed to post them. It's hard to keep up. This happens with a lot of things, actually. I'm usually too busy doing one thing to even think about another. So maybe I run out of time more often than I run out of ideas. Or I just don't have the time to come up with ideas. Who knows?

I guess I'll just tackle one goal at a time, one day at a time. And enjoy the coffee while I have it.

Cutting and Consolidating

A lot of the editing process involves figuring out what parts of your story are actually necessary. When you're writing the first draft, it's great to just let the ideas flow and not hold yourself back from getting them out. Once you're at the editing stage, however, that's when you really need to start analyzing the story and realizing which parts need to go. This could be as small as cutting individual words or as big as whole scenes and chapters.

Every cut won't seem obvious right away. The line by line edits may be easier to deal with first. You'll know if a particular word or phrase feels awkward or just doesn't work. You may need to rewrite a sentence, or you may realize you don't need that sentence at all. Figuring out the best way to get the story across without using a lot of unnecessary or unfitting words will help to polish the overall story and make it better.

Cutting scenes and chapters won't be as easy. You may spend a lot of time trying to rewrite a scene that isn't working to finally realize you don't actually need it. The scene doesn't even need to be bad for it to be cut sometimes, either. You may have written a great scene, but as you develop your story more and more, you may realize it just doesn't fit anymore. Deciding to cut a large chunk of story can be an emotional process. You may try to rationalize keeping it, but if it isn't going to work, eventually you'll come to realize it.

Of course, cutting isn't always the only answer. Maybe you have a scene that has some necessary moments or information, but the important parts aren't quite long enough to pull off a whole scene. You may be able to move whatever information is necessary to a different scene or chapter. If you're trying to fill in a whole scene or chapter and most of it is unnecessary, it will probably slow down the story or even make it seem boring. You always want something important to be happening in order to keep the reader interested.

The realization to cut a whole chapter actually took me by surprise. Now that I'm working on the third draft of my novel, I've come to realize that my sixth chapter actually isn't necessary and slows the story down. There is definitely some important information in there, but I know I can move it to the previous chapter and still have everything go smoothly. So making this cut will help speed things up within the story, as well as getting rid of a lot of unnecessary words. Now that I know I have to squeeze in the important stuff into a shorter scene, rather than an entire chapter, I'll really have to think about what words are necessary to get the point across.

Have you ever cut a whole chapter? Or consolidated two parts into one? 

I Can't Write Anymore

Sometimes I think that to myself. Ok, all the time. I can't write anymore. It's not that I don't want to--I really, really do. It's that I can't. I can't come up with ideas. I can't put words onto the page. Can't can't can't. 

Ok, if I really dissect that, I'll find it isn't true at all. I still come up with ideas. 90% of them may involve the same characters, but they are new ideas, at least. I've come up with a bunch of ideas for editing my book. I still somehow manage to write a blog post three times a week (mostly), although that can often be a struggle. I even wrote three paragraphs on Friday night. They were from a scene in Book 3 and I may not even use them, but at least it's something. 

But there's still that mental block that tells me I can't do it anymore. I remember in high school sitting at my desk with a notebook using every second of down time to get words onto the page. Why is that so hard now? I used to write poetry all the time, but I haven't in years. The ideas just don't come to me anymore. 

I know I have several different reasons for not being able to write. I know what they are, but I still can't bring myself to just push through them and do it. Maybe the answer is to just stop giving a crap about what other people think, or how horrible the words come out. I can always rewrite. And I can certainly just write something for me. Just keep working on it until I like it and then maybe try to send it out into the world and see if someone else does. 

As I'm writing this, I'm realizing that maybe that is my big hangup. I never write for me anymore. I try way too hard to get things perfect. I want the words to already be perfect in my mind before I even try to write them, so most of the time I just end up staring at the blank screen. I think I just need to not give a crap anymore. Write what I want and then see how it goes.

Excuses, Excuses

So I didn't write a blog post on Wednesday, or even look at a single post from anyone else. And I didn't feel bad about it one little bit. On Tuesday I woke up with a sore throat that was turning into a full blown cold by the next day. I mean, who gets sick in August?? Me, apparently. So I just didn't feel like blogging. It happens from time to time.

It's a hard thing to keep up with, especially when I try to blog three times a week. It's hard to come up with ideas sometimes, so when you pile on not feeling well onto the mental block, you just don't even feel like turning on your computer. But it's ok, right? People take week or even month long blog breaks and nobody really cares. I just always feel like I should tell people when I'm not blogging, but I've already written so many "I don't feel like blogging" posts that another one just seems silly.

But getting sick has really thrown me off with everything. I tried restarting my diet on Monday but now that's out the window. Mostly because my cold has limited me to four food groups: oatmeal, scrambled eggs, Powerade, and coffee Coolatas. I just want to lay in bed and watch TV and not do anything else--like say, exercising.

This has gotten me thinking about excuses. We make them all of the time. We put things off. It usually takes me awhile to make the bed every day just because I don't want to disturb my cat. There are a million things I seem to be putting off at any given time--going to the doctor or dentist, getting my hair cut, *cough cough* finishing the third draft of my novel *cough.* I can't even begin to tell you all of the excuses I've had for putting off my diet or not going to the gym.

I've got a million excuses for not writing, all of them piled on top of each other. I think it really boils down to just not feeling like it. Of course, that feeling is caused by a million other excuses. So at what point do I stop making excuses and just start writing already? I don't know! I feel like I always have all the answers, but actually working through things and getting something done is easier said than done. But maybe if I stopped making excuses, it will be a little bit easier. Who knows?

What do you make excuses for? Writing????