The Ghost of the First Draft

Do you ever find yourself making notes on a draft for editing, and find something so stupid that you have to yell at yourself in the margin? Well, I have. Probably more than once. How else can you get through to yourself, really, to stop making dumb mistakes? Mistakes that you should have stopped making a million drafts ago? 

It was Chapter 9, the chapter after my characters have had their first kiss, and so there was a paragraph that talked about kissing, which was fine (except I had used the word kissing like ten times, but that's another issue). But then I came across a really stupid sentence:

I knew I had always been more attracted to guys, I just didn’t realize that meant every single thing was going to be better.

I had to double take. And then yell at myself (and Jordan, too). No, not more attracted. ONLY. Only only only. Wasn't that the entire freaking point??? Helllooooooo? So I took my scary red pen and wrote this in the margin, just to make sure I got my own point across:

HE'S NOT BI.

Ok, so short story Jordan was hooking up with a girl at the end (that was really stupid and well over 6 years ago, don't judge me). First draft Jordan? Eh, well, I dunno, it was foggier. First drafts suck. There were a lot of stupid lines like this floating around. But now? Now????? Noooooooooo. How am I still making these mistakes? How are these tiny details slipping by?

I'm haunted by my first draft.

You think your first draft is gone by the time you're writing the third one? Think again! It creeps around, hiding in lines where you wouldn't think to look. In the dusty corners of undeveloped subplots. You think everything is going so well and your story makes so much sense. Then the ghost reaches out its ghoulish hand and grabs your ankle, tripping you up. Making everything feel off and confusing.

How many lines make it through repeated drafts completely intact? For me, not a lot. If there are any, they're probably dialogue. Even if what happens in a scene stays exactly the same, the words are always changing. Improving, I hope. But just when I think a chapter is safe and perfect I feel like I have to hire some paranormal investigators to exorcise these haunted lines.

So sometimes editing requires hi-tech ghost hunting equipment, scanning over every paragraph for a trace of first draft activity. Sometimes you need to have your holy water ready to flick on a stupid, stupid line. And hopefully with enough work, the first draft can stay buried.

Have you ever been haunted by your first draft? 

Miles of Smiles Challenge!

I'm a little late to the party. It's a long story. Ok, not really. I initially was going to not blog at all today, then I changed my mind at about 5 this morning but didn't have time to write a post before work. Anyway, I love bloghops so I decided to join in on this one, the Miles of Smiles Challenge, hosted by Clare Dugmore and Kyra Lennon!

The aim of the challenge is on June 12 (today) those taking part post their lists of things that make them smile/ make them happy/ cheer them up when things are crappy. The obvious things like family, friends etc. are excluded. What we're looking for is the little, almost trivial things, that brighten your day.

I thought I'd make this fun by adding some pictures (most of which I just took)! It's interesting that the things I picked can all be found in my apartment, but I'm a bit of a hermit, so it makes sense I suppose!

1. This little floofernugget.

2. My new math leggings (aka editing pants...we'll see if they work)

3. Things that keep me organized like my k-cup holder and makeup organizer (I love the top two drawers because they fit my contacts perfectly and I have different prescriptions for each eye so I know which is which! 

4. My ridiculous amount of dresses (remember the hermit thing? I don't go anywhere! But they're so purdy....)

5. The fact that it's King George month on my Hamilton calendar (aka Groffsauce aka my gay celebrity boyfriend...what, you don't have one of those?) 

6. Fun mugs! Especially when they're filled with coffee (I actually got the kissy face one for my husband because we're always texting each other that emoji) 

Ok, I'm done, I swear! Hope everyone is able to spread some happiness today!

Seduced by Another Book

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

I've been feeling kinda down lately. Things have been kind of at a standstill when it comes to the editing front. I was doing so well during my staycation but I just couldn't seem to keep that motivation going. I'm stuck on Chapter 11. It's a really tough one. I think I either need to break it into two chapters or combine two scenes. Mostly because I don't think one chapter needs TWO make out scenes (but what do I know?). But I'm also trying to sneak in some subplot stuff and I always have a hard time with that. I feel like I'm forcing it and no one's going to care. Basically I know this chapter is difficult and I've been avoiding it. 

I know motivation isn't my only problem. If I could just get my brain to focus on Chapter 11 during my free thinking moments, I could start to figure it out. Times like before I fall asleep, in the shower, at work. I do my best brainstorming there. But I just can't focus. I'm distracted. By another book.

Yeah, you guessed it. Book 3. It has seduced me into some sort of mind-numbing oblivion. Now, I'm pretty much the last person on earth who would have a real life affair, but I think this is what it feels like. It's new and exciting and kinda dangerous. I think about it all the time. I know I shouldn't be thinking about it, shouldn't be working on it, but I can't help it. It's just where my passion is dragging me. But then I feel guilty about it because I'm not working on the book I should be working on.

Plus--hello! I can't actually get through Book 3 without finishing Books 1 & 2! But I can't be reasoned with! I know the basic structure of 1 and 2 so I know what happens and what leads to 3, which has me telling myself it's ok to work on it. 

I just like Book 3. There's something about it. I don't even think it's anywhere near perfect but I guess that's part of its appeal. I want to figure it all out way before I actually write the whole thing out. There's just more emotion in that book, or as I like to say, it gives me all the feels. I already have an entire playlist for it. I listen to it more than the playlist for Book 1. Book 3 just kinda drives me crazy, but in a good way, whereas Book 1 just frustrates me. 

Maybe sometimes it's good to have a distraction, when you're not getting any writing done, when the passion just isn't there. But I can't seem to shift my focus back to where it should be. I can't get back with the book I'm supposed to be with. 

Have you ever been seduced by another book idea? What did you do? 

Jordan Takes Over: I'm a Terrible Boyfriend

**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**

Once again, I have discovered something in my own novels/life that I can turn into a great lesson for all you writer type folks out there. You're welcome!

So we haven't been doing much on the editing front for the past couple of weeks. That's maybe probably my fault or something. However! That doesn't mean things are at a complete stop. Well, ok, there hasn't been much actual writing, exactly, but a whole lot of brainstorming for Book 3 (come up with a title, you say? Please.). And, well, here's the thing.

I KEEP GETTING YELLED AT. Even though we haven't even written the damn thing yet so it can be changed. Even though this book wasn't even my idea. Nope. Not at all. Some people who shall remain nameless (ADAM. But he had an accomplice) gained up on me and Sarah and now we just have more work to do.

Anyway. The reason I keep getting yelled at--I'm a terrible person, apparently. More specifically, I'm a terrible boyfriend.

How exactly does this information help you with your writing? Let me share with you the ways in which I am being yelled at. It's basically a whole lot of Can you share a shred of human emotion for even one second? Why does Adam have to spend every waking second having to win you over?? Even when you actually agree to a relationship you're still an emotionless brick wall! You can't even tell the reader that you like him even a little bit! Don't even get me started on all the crap you pull later on in the book! (SPOILERS!) How the hell is anyone supposed to root for you? Any reader is going to spend every page begging Adam to dump your ass! And so on. Have you ever heard someone argue with their own characters so much? I mean, really.

Hey! I'm supposed to be aloof and emotionless. It's just who I am (and who made me that way, I ask you). Adam knew damn well what he was getting into (shhhhhhhhh). I mean, part of the point of the relationship is for him to crack open my cold, dead heart (what? It's true). I'm not supposed to make it easy! Plus if this is Book 3 the reader will be used to me anyway. How the hell is a character supposed to grow if they're already perfect??

But I had a point to make, didn't I? It's kinda hard to have a protagonist when they're just terrible. When they have no redeeming qualities and just keep doing terrible things. No one is going to want to listen to their BS for a whole book. It's ok to be terrible some of the time, but not all of the time. No one is going to care about a character if he's always being a jerk.

I'm not saying I'm that terrible, because we are still in the planning stages here! We can change stuff. We just have to sneak in some moments where I'm nicer. If we lose all of my less likable qualities, then it screws up the whole plot. I'm supposed to learn from my mistakes, right? But I guess it's better to figure out that I'm heading in such a god-awful direction before we even really start writing.

So I guess I could learn to be a better boyfriend. Any tips? I got nothin'. If you say flowers and chocolate, a) he's a guy, b) I'll eat the chocolate, & c) he may or may not be allergic to bees. Better to stay away from the flowers.

JP