**The first Monday of the month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**
Did everyone miss me? Has there been a shortage of tissues? Wait, don't answer that.
I just want it on the record that I was dragged out of a very nice nap in order to write this blog post. But we've got this new thing going that I don't have to write a post *every* month, but if the first Monday of the month is after the first Wednesday, Sarah says I have to. Something about how her IWSG posts will always steal my thunder and I won't get any attention and I do not like that one little bit. So, here we are! I get this week, bitches!
Anyway, what to talk about? If you did read Sarah's post last week, she mentioned how Chapter 16 has a lot of potential symbolism that hasn't really been properly explored. To which I would say, these are things that actually happened in my life and it's not my fault if you read so much into it.
Ok, ok. OK!!!! So everything in a novel is supposed to serve a purpose, right? So I guess these things need to be figured out so that they're not just stupidly thrown around wherever. BECAUSE if a character lets me use a red blanket in this chapter, and then buys me a red scarf in the next one, you're supposed to stop and think about that, right? What does it mean?????
Well, the blanket and the scarf are protective symbols, like, this person is trying to protect me (pfft like I need it), from a) himself and b) the cold mean world, yada yada. But **RED** is important here. Red is representative of sin/desire/passion. But the blanket/scarf is more about love/protection. Because the fact that this character has two sides is something that comes up CONSTANTLY, i.e. the structured/caring side vs the chaotic/desire driven side. He's not one side or the other; he's both--which is represented by these objects. ALSO. What else is red? Blood. Which makes you think back to an earlier chapter where I tried to help make dinner but ended up cutting my finger with a huge freaking knife. And this is the idea that he can try to protect me, but bad things will still happen.
I just bored you to tears, didn't I? Because you probably have no idea what I'm talking about. But even if you had read the book, would you be able to pick up on all of this just by reading about a damn blanket? Plus symbolism is always up to interpretation, right? Someone may read the totally wrong thing from it. Or they may not pick up on it at all.
But anyway, that whole paragraph of nonsense just leads me to realize that we DID figure out some of this symbolism a long time ago so why am I even here?
Because I guess there's MORE. *sigh* We have to figure out why there's a moment while making chocolate chip cookies where it has to be explained why salt is used in baking. And apparently that has to mean something. I don't know. I'm tired. I think I'll sleep on it.
JP
Showing posts with label Jordan Takes Over. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jordan Takes Over. Show all posts
06 August 2018
07 May 2018
Jordan Takes Over: It's a Trap!
**The first Monday of the month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**
I know, I know--I haven't been here in forever. It's not that I didn't want to. Well, ok, maybe I didn't want to. But, I mean, do you really want to listen to me ramble unless I have something really good to say? Real life conversations? Easy. Blog topics? Not so much.
Anyway, why did I decide to show up today? I was tricked, thank you very much. Ok, it went like this:
Sarah: Are you writing a blog post for Monday?
Me: Pass.
Well, fine. You know what? You can't write a blog post.
Excuse me?
I'm not letting you.
GIVE ME THAT LAPTOP.
Dammit, reverse psychology really works on me. I mean, you tell me I can't have/do something (or someone...), whooooooooaaaaaaa watch out. So now that I'm here, what do I write about?
Hold on a second, someone left a plate of cookies here! That's...suspiciously thoughtful. Well, ok, I guess Sarah knew the whole time that the reverse psychology was gonna work and I'd be here, so maybe the cookies are a peace offering. And I don't say know to dessert. I'll just have one...or ten.
Where was I? Oh, right, blogging. The thing I'm supposed to be doing right now. Listen, it's not my fault when you just drop cookies in front of me. Sugar. My only weakness.
So apparently Sarah has a staycation next week. Which apparently also means that I'm supposed to be on full time muse duty next week. FAT CHANCE. No one asked me about my schedule. I'm extremely busy. I've got...you know...gigs. Snacks. Naps. Very important stuff. Did anyone clear this with Adam? You know, he's way more organized than me. Where is he, anyway?
OOooooooooooo there's cupcakes, too! What's going on here? Some kind of dessert buffet? I mean, really, I'm not disappointed, but if Sarah had just told me there'd be dessert, then she wouldn't have had to do the whole reverse psychology thing. Well, I guess I could have grabbed the food and ran away. Ok, maybe she knows me too well.
So, right. Staycation. *sigh* A whole damn week and she expects constant writing? Yeah, when has that ever happened? Ok, when we first started writing this story, but that was like, seven years ago. When has it happened since then? Huh? NEVER. That's right. So why exactly does she think it's gonna happen now??
Wait a second. MORE DESSERT? Oh look! Pie! Ha. Ok, this is a little weird. It's like...there's too much dessert. Something's kinda off here. What kind of pie is that, anyway? Wait...is that...KEY LIME?
OH F---------
*a giant net falls*
What the....AGGGGGGGGGGH. I knew it! The dessert buffet was a trap! This whole thing was a trap! But wait a second...who would....YOU! This is not right. You are not this crafty.
Yeah, but I've had you living in my head for seven years. It rubs off.
That's what---
DON'T EVEN.
Wait a second, did you do something to Adam?
He's indisposed at the moment. That way he can't distract me with Book 3 ideas and he can't distract you with his hair.
Yeah, but, where is he?
Tied to a chair somewhere. It's ok. Muses don't need to eat.
I beg to differ.
Come on, we're gonna finish this damn novel.
The whole thing? But there's so much work to do!
Which is exactly why you're not going anywhere! *starts dragging net*
I just want it on the record that I was tricked and KIDNAPPED and any words produced and/or edited were done against my will. Is there a muse's union? I'm calling my rep.
JP
I know, I know--I haven't been here in forever. It's not that I didn't want to. Well, ok, maybe I didn't want to. But, I mean, do you really want to listen to me ramble unless I have something really good to say? Real life conversations? Easy. Blog topics? Not so much.
Anyway, why did I decide to show up today? I was tricked, thank you very much. Ok, it went like this:
Sarah: Are you writing a blog post for Monday?
Me: Pass.
Well, fine. You know what? You can't write a blog post.
Excuse me?
I'm not letting you.
GIVE ME THAT LAPTOP.
Dammit, reverse psychology really works on me. I mean, you tell me I can't have/do something (or someone...), whooooooooaaaaaaa watch out. So now that I'm here, what do I write about?
Hold on a second, someone left a plate of cookies here! That's...suspiciously thoughtful. Well, ok, I guess Sarah knew the whole time that the reverse psychology was gonna work and I'd be here, so maybe the cookies are a peace offering. And I don't say know to dessert. I'll just have one...or ten.
Where was I? Oh, right, blogging. The thing I'm supposed to be doing right now. Listen, it's not my fault when you just drop cookies in front of me. Sugar. My only weakness.
So apparently Sarah has a staycation next week. Which apparently also means that I'm supposed to be on full time muse duty next week. FAT CHANCE. No one asked me about my schedule. I'm extremely busy. I've got...you know...gigs. Snacks. Naps. Very important stuff. Did anyone clear this with Adam? You know, he's way more organized than me. Where is he, anyway?
OOooooooooooo there's cupcakes, too! What's going on here? Some kind of dessert buffet? I mean, really, I'm not disappointed, but if Sarah had just told me there'd be dessert, then she wouldn't have had to do the whole reverse psychology thing. Well, I guess I could have grabbed the food and ran away. Ok, maybe she knows me too well.
So, right. Staycation. *sigh* A whole damn week and she expects constant writing? Yeah, when has that ever happened? Ok, when we first started writing this story, but that was like, seven years ago. When has it happened since then? Huh? NEVER. That's right. So why exactly does she think it's gonna happen now??
Wait a second. MORE DESSERT? Oh look! Pie! Ha. Ok, this is a little weird. It's like...there's too much dessert. Something's kinda off here. What kind of pie is that, anyway? Wait...is that...KEY LIME?
OH F---------
*a giant net falls*
What the....AGGGGGGGGGGH. I knew it! The dessert buffet was a trap! This whole thing was a trap! But wait a second...who would....YOU! This is not right. You are not this crafty.
Yeah, but I've had you living in my head for seven years. It rubs off.
That's what---
DON'T EVEN.
Wait a second, did you do something to Adam?
He's indisposed at the moment. That way he can't distract me with Book 3 ideas and he can't distract you with his hair.
Yeah, but, where is he?
Tied to a chair somewhere. It's ok. Muses don't need to eat.
I beg to differ.
Come on, we're gonna finish this damn novel.
The whole thing? But there's so much work to do!
Which is exactly why you're not going anywhere! *starts dragging net*
I just want it on the record that I was tricked and KIDNAPPED and any words produced and/or edited were done against my will. Is there a muse's union? I'm calling my rep.
JP
05 June 2017
Jordan Takes Over: I'm a Terrible Boyfriend
**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**
Once again, I have discovered something in my own novels/life that I can turn into a great lesson for all you writer type folks out there. You're welcome!
So we haven't been doing much on the editing front for the past couple of weeks. That's maybe probably my fault or something. However! That doesn't mean things are at a complete stop. Well, ok, there hasn't been much actual writing, exactly, but a whole lot of brainstorming for Book 3 (come up with a title, you say? Please.). And, well, here's the thing.
I KEEP GETTING YELLED AT. Even though we haven't even written the damn thing yet so it can be changed. Even though this book wasn't even my idea. Nope. Not at all. Some people who shall remain nameless (ADAM. But he had an accomplice) gained up on me and Sarah and now we just have more work to do.
Anyway. The reason I keep getting yelled at--I'm a terrible person, apparently. More specifically, I'm a terrible boyfriend.
How exactly does this information help you with your writing? Let me share with you the ways in which I am being yelled at. It's basically a whole lot of Can you share a shred of human emotion for even one second? Why does Adam have to spend every waking second having to win you over?? Even when you actually agree to a relationship you're still an emotionless brick wall! You can't even tell the reader that you like him even a little bit! Don't even get me started on all the crap you pull later on in the book! (SPOILERS!) How the hell is anyone supposed to root for you? Any reader is going to spend every page begging Adam to dump your ass! And so on. Have you ever heard someone argue with their own characters so much? I mean, really.
Hey! I'm supposed to be aloof and emotionless. It's just who I am (and who made me that way, I ask you). Adam knew damn well what he was getting into (shhhhhhhhh). I mean, part of the point of the relationship is for him to crack open my cold, dead heart (what? It's true). I'm not supposed to make it easy! Plus if this is Book 3 the reader will be used to me anyway. How the hell is a character supposed to grow if they're already perfect??
But I had a point to make, didn't I? It's kinda hard to have a protagonist when they're just terrible. When they have no redeeming qualities and just keep doing terrible things. No one is going to want to listen to their BS for a whole book. It's ok to be terrible some of the time, but not all of the time. No one is going to care about a character if he's always being a jerk.
I'm not saying I'm that terrible, because we are still in the planning stages here! We can change stuff. We just have to sneak in some moments where I'm nicer. If we lose all of my less likable qualities, then it screws up the whole plot. I'm supposed to learn from my mistakes, right? But I guess it's better to figure out that I'm heading in such a god-awful direction before we even really start writing.
So I guess I could learn to be a better boyfriend. Any tips? I got nothin'. If you say flowers and chocolate, a) he's a guy, b) I'll eat the chocolate, & c) he may or may not be allergic to bees. Better to stay away from the flowers.
JP
Once again, I have discovered something in my own novels/life that I can turn into a great lesson for all you writer type folks out there. You're welcome!
So we haven't been doing much on the editing front for the past couple of weeks. That's maybe probably my fault or something. However! That doesn't mean things are at a complete stop. Well, ok, there hasn't been much actual writing, exactly, but a whole lot of brainstorming for Book 3 (come up with a title, you say? Please.). And, well, here's the thing.
I KEEP GETTING YELLED AT. Even though we haven't even written the damn thing yet so it can be changed. Even though this book wasn't even my idea. Nope. Not at all. Some people who shall remain nameless (ADAM. But he had an accomplice) gained up on me and Sarah and now we just have more work to do.
Anyway. The reason I keep getting yelled at--I'm a terrible person, apparently. More specifically, I'm a terrible boyfriend.
How exactly does this information help you with your writing? Let me share with you the ways in which I am being yelled at. It's basically a whole lot of Can you share a shred of human emotion for even one second? Why does Adam have to spend every waking second having to win you over?? Even when you actually agree to a relationship you're still an emotionless brick wall! You can't even tell the reader that you like him even a little bit! Don't even get me started on all the crap you pull later on in the book! (SPOILERS!) How the hell is anyone supposed to root for you? Any reader is going to spend every page begging Adam to dump your ass! And so on. Have you ever heard someone argue with their own characters so much? I mean, really.
Hey! I'm supposed to be aloof and emotionless. It's just who I am (and who made me that way, I ask you). Adam knew damn well what he was getting into (shhhhhhhhh). I mean, part of the point of the relationship is for him to crack open my cold, dead heart (what? It's true). I'm not supposed to make it easy! Plus if this is Book 3 the reader will be used to me anyway. How the hell is a character supposed to grow if they're already perfect??
But I had a point to make, didn't I? It's kinda hard to have a protagonist when they're just terrible. When they have no redeeming qualities and just keep doing terrible things. No one is going to want to listen to their BS for a whole book. It's ok to be terrible some of the time, but not all of the time. No one is going to care about a character if he's always being a jerk.
I'm not saying I'm that terrible, because we are still in the planning stages here! We can change stuff. We just have to sneak in some moments where I'm nicer. If we lose all of my less likable qualities, then it screws up the whole plot. I'm supposed to learn from my mistakes, right? But I guess it's better to figure out that I'm heading in such a god-awful direction before we even really start writing.
So I guess I could learn to be a better boyfriend. Any tips? I got nothin'. If you say flowers and chocolate, a) he's a guy, b) I'll eat the chocolate, & c) he may or may not be allergic to bees. Better to stay away from the flowers.
JP
01 May 2017
Jordan Takes Over: Character Nicknames
**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**
So, things are a little different today because I have AN INTRUDER on my post. And you thought I was greedy. But I think you guys like our witty banter or something, so without any further BS...Miss Writer Lady!
What'd I miss???
STAHP. What are we doing here, anyway? I haven't had a cup of tea yet. You know what, never mind the tea, I'm going back to bed.
Nice try! We're going to have some fun with character names today. Or more specifically, character nicknames! And not the ones that you would actually use in a story. Because if any other writers out there are like me...
Psychotic...
*glares* Anyway...you may refer to your own characters with nicknames that you would never actually use in a story. Whether because you love them so much you create gooey sappy nicknames, or you hate them so much you commonly refer to them as something that probably shouldn't be uttered in front of children. So we're gonna have some fun today and go through the characters in Jordan's series and maybe some extra characters will manage to sneak in as well.
Not likely. Why do I have to be here, exactly?
Because I'm guessing you have nicknames for these characters that are probably a bit different than mine...so let's start!
They don't even know who these people are...
SHHHH.
UNEVEN LINES (BOOK ONE)
Jordan (!)
Jojo!
*rolls eyes* I don't have a nickname for myself. That would be weird
Ok, I get another! Bane of my existence! SASSAFRASS.
Please stop.
Tom
You whore! We don't talk about him!
He's the second most important character in the book; you had to have seen this coming.
I want out!
GIVE ME SOMETHING!
Ugh...I think I frequently called him loser. Or like, math geek. Psycho baker! That was a good one. Can we make cookies?
Allison (Mom)
I don't think your readers will appreciate the words I use for her.
You just called me a whore.
I would never be that nice to her.
Eric
Light of my life.
Badass.
Brian
A-hole.
Um...yeah, that's accurate.
Madison
HAG.
I thought that was me?
YOU'RE BOTH HAGS. You can be Queen Hag and she can be Princess Hag.
BOOK TWO
Seth
Sticks! *air drums*
Joe...I mean, Max...I mean, Seth! Seth! He finally has a name! I never thought it would happen.
Adam
Yoko.
Hair.
Cameron
He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named
I still say you just change it to Voldemort. It'll save time.
Abby
A red-haired, blue-eyed, demon child sent straight from hell to torture me.
I thought you adored her.
I do. She's my entire world.
Ben
The guy I wasn't supposed to know about.
Same. Characters are always doing things they're not supposed to be doing. Like existing.
BOOK THREE
Anthony
That stupid beefed-up queen???
*laughing hysterically* I just wanted to include him so you would say that.
And now before he notices...CHARACTERS FROM OTHER STORIES WHO SOMEHOW SNUCK INTO MY SUBCONSCIOUS WHEN JOJO WASN’T LOOKING
More like sleeping.
Raynor from "The Last Dragon"
Ray Ray!
Fire boy.
YOU'RE SPOILING IT!
IT COMES OUT TOMORROW FOR F'S SAKE!
Jason from Shiny New Story
Just J.
Needs-To-Take-A-Chill-Pill.
He's not that bad. He has a troubled past!
He needs a personality makeover. I'll fix that.
He's not gonna sleep with you. He's in a committed relationship.
Hey! Did I say I was gonna seduce him? I have various means of persuasion. *cracks knuckles*
Eli from Shiny New Story
So, things are a little different today because I have AN INTRUDER on my post. And you thought I was greedy. But I think you guys like our witty banter or something, so without any further BS...Miss Writer Lady!
What'd I miss???
STAHP. What are we doing here, anyway? I haven't had a cup of tea yet. You know what, never mind the tea, I'm going back to bed.
Nice try! We're going to have some fun with character names today. Or more specifically, character nicknames! And not the ones that you would actually use in a story. Because if any other writers out there are like me...
Psychotic...
*glares* Anyway...you may refer to your own characters with nicknames that you would never actually use in a story. Whether because you love them so much you create gooey sappy nicknames, or you hate them so much you commonly refer to them as something that probably shouldn't be uttered in front of children. So we're gonna have some fun today and go through the characters in Jordan's series and maybe some extra characters will manage to sneak in as well.
Not likely. Why do I have to be here, exactly?
Because I'm guessing you have nicknames for these characters that are probably a bit different than mine...so let's start!
They don't even know who these people are...
SHHHH.
UNEVEN LINES (BOOK ONE)
Jordan (!)
Jojo!
*rolls eyes* I don't have a nickname for myself. That would be weird
Ok, I get another! Bane of my existence! SASSAFRASS.
Please stop.
Tom
You whore! We don't talk about him!
He's the second most important character in the book; you had to have seen this coming.
I want out!
GIVE ME SOMETHING!
Ugh...I think I frequently called him loser. Or like, math geek. Psycho baker! That was a good one. Can we make cookies?
Allison (Mom)
I don't think your readers will appreciate the words I use for her.
You just called me a whore.
I would never be that nice to her.
Eric
Light of my life.
Badass.
Brian
A-hole.
Um...yeah, that's accurate.
Madison
HAG.
I thought that was me?
YOU'RE BOTH HAGS. You can be Queen Hag and she can be Princess Hag.
BOOK TWO
Seth
Sticks! *air drums*
Joe...I mean, Max...I mean, Seth! Seth! He finally has a name! I never thought it would happen.
Adam
Yoko.
Hair.
Cameron
He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named
I still say you just change it to Voldemort. It'll save time.
Abby
A red-haired, blue-eyed, demon child sent straight from hell to torture me.
I thought you adored her.
I do. She's my entire world.
Ben
The guy I wasn't supposed to know about.
Same. Characters are always doing things they're not supposed to be doing. Like existing.
BOOK THREE
Anthony
That stupid beefed-up queen???
*laughing hysterically* I just wanted to include him so you would say that.
And now before he notices...CHARACTERS FROM OTHER STORIES WHO SOMEHOW SNUCK INTO MY SUBCONSCIOUS WHEN JOJO WASN’T LOOKING
More like sleeping.
Raynor from "The Last Dragon"
Ray Ray!
Fire boy.
YOU'RE SPOILING IT!
IT COMES OUT TOMORROW FOR F'S SAKE!
Jason from Shiny New Story
Just J.
Needs-To-Take-A-Chill-Pill.
He's not that bad. He has a troubled past!
He needs a personality makeover. I'll fix that.
He's not gonna sleep with you. He's in a committed relationship.
Hey! Did I say I was gonna seduce him? I have various means of persuasion. *cracks knuckles*
Eli from Shiny New Story
My widdle Eli cuddlekins omg I wanna pinch his
cheeks.
Calm down, woman! You have a problem. Plus he’s 18, not an infant.
*sticks out tongue*
Ok, time to wrap this up.
I'm sure we've lost everybody by now.
I guess we could go make those cookies.
I'm not gonna make out with you while they bake, though.
Well that's a relief.
JP & SF <3
Do you give your characters nicknames that aren't actually in the story?
Do you give your characters nicknames that aren't actually in the story?
03 April 2017
Jordan Takes Over: When a Muse Gets Writer's Block
**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**
I'm gonna have to be honest with you people. And yes, that's a thing I can do. I have no idea what to write about today. But Miss Writer Lady wouldn't let me skip my post so...here I am. I mean, I know you'd be devastated if I skipped this month, but hey, at least being devastated is more interesting than being bored.
I hate being bored. It's literally the worst. This is usually why I end up causing trouble--because I'm bored. It's basically why my novel exists. Hey, you try living pretty much alone at 15 because your mom sucks and doesn't care about you and your friends are lame and you're still in the closet so you don't have a boyfriend. I mean, what do you want from me? I have to find some way to amuse myself.
Anyway, God, why did I go there? We've been working on my book so much lately, I can't help it. I guess that's a good thing. I need attention! Almost as much as I need naps. But when I need naps I just send in Adam to work on some Book 2 or 3 nonsense so if Sarah is complaining, I don't want to hear it. She's got plenty to do.
Did you think this post was going to be coherent? I told you, I have no idea what to write about. And that's ok because I'M NOT ACTUALLY THE WRITER. I don't have to make words. I make the inspiration and then she makes the words. That's my job. Get over it.
I'm not cranky, I swear. And don't listen to Sarah or Adam or any other character in any of my stories who's ever met me on that one. Just trust me.
I'm gonna go ahead and cut this short before it goes down in complete flames (don't make the obvious joke!). So what exactly do you write about when you have no idea what to write about? Or do you just not write? I don't know. I told you--I'm not the writer.
JP
I'm gonna have to be honest with you people. And yes, that's a thing I can do. I have no idea what to write about today. But Miss Writer Lady wouldn't let me skip my post so...here I am. I mean, I know you'd be devastated if I skipped this month, but hey, at least being devastated is more interesting than being bored.
I hate being bored. It's literally the worst. This is usually why I end up causing trouble--because I'm bored. It's basically why my novel exists. Hey, you try living pretty much alone at 15 because your mom sucks and doesn't care about you and your friends are lame and you're still in the closet so you don't have a boyfriend. I mean, what do you want from me? I have to find some way to amuse myself.
Anyway, God, why did I go there? We've been working on my book so much lately, I can't help it. I guess that's a good thing. I need attention! Almost as much as I need naps. But when I need naps I just send in Adam to work on some Book 2 or 3 nonsense so if Sarah is complaining, I don't want to hear it. She's got plenty to do.
Did you think this post was going to be coherent? I told you, I have no idea what to write about. And that's ok because I'M NOT ACTUALLY THE WRITER. I don't have to make words. I make the inspiration and then she makes the words. That's my job. Get over it.
I'm not cranky, I swear. And don't listen to Sarah or Adam or any other character in any of my stories who's ever met me on that one. Just trust me.
I'm gonna go ahead and cut this short before it goes down in complete flames (don't make the obvious joke!). So what exactly do you write about when you have no idea what to write about? Or do you just not write? I don't know. I told you--I'm not the writer.
JP
06 March 2017
Jordan Takes Over: A Crash Course in Musing
**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**
Ok, people, we're gonna do things a little differently today, so everybody be quiet and pay attention! Because my life apparently isn't crazy enough, I'm here to offer tips to the beginner or wannabe muse. Or for you writers out there, a more in depth look of what exactly is going on with your most favorite (just try and call us) imaginary friends. So! Where are my pupils??
*Adam waves frantically*
Just one??? Oh, by the way, I'm training Adam as my backup for when Sarah's being annoying and I want a nap. She's not going to like it, but, uh, tough something or other.
Adam: We've got a student/teacher thing going on here.
Been there, done that. Ok, one student. *sigh* Fine. First lesson! Let's talk about the ABNs of musing.
Adam: Don't you mean ABCs?
First of all, how about raising a hand when you have a question, Mr. uhhh...do you have a last name yet?
Adam: No.
Of course not. Mr. Perfect Hair. Anyway, no! The ABNs. Always Be Napping. This is crucial. A muse needs his beauty sleep. Or, you know, hers, because I guess most muses are girls but we're working for a psycho over here. Either way, beauty sleep! How can you be providing your best inspiration if you're tired and groggy? I'd say at least 22 hours a day. Are you writing this down?
Adam:....You never said to take notes....
Moving on! The next lesson is about spontaneity. If your writer is getting all their stuff together, finishing her coffee, booting up the laptop, getting the pencils and paper lined up, is that the perfect time to provide inspiration?
Adam: Well, I would think s--
WRONG! Of course not! You can't just give ideas when they're expecting them! Where's the fun in that? Where's the passion? We're not freaking robots over here! It's best to be completely random when providing inspiration. Whenever you feel like it, really, but never when they're expecting it. Now, when are the best times to provide inspiration?
Adam: Oh, wait, I know this! Uh...when she's falling asleep or when she's in the shower.
CORRECT. You've been paying attention!
Adam: ...Why are those the best times, exactly?
That's just the way it is. We don't ask questions about it. Lesson number three: withholding stuff. We can't just give it all away. That would make us sluts, now wouldn't it?
Adam: Uh..........
I mean with muse stuff! Get your mind out of the gutter. Save that for after class. Anyway, you always want to make your writer work for their inspiration and information. It shouldn't always be easy. Got a piece of information that she needs? Don't tell her! Make her think about it for months, maybe even years before you finally give it up. Like our band's name, for example.
Adam: Oh, you mean--
Shhhhhhhhh! Spoilers! We're not there yet!
Finally, lesson number four: something a bit unexpected. The complete and total onslaught of inspiration. This can be fun but also very exhausting. (Just remember lesson one!) When you're feeling up to providing a decent amount of inspiration, just go for the extreme. Hit them with everything you've got. Don't let them sleep or eat or do anything except write. Make it physically painful for them not to be writing. Every single thought and every single second should be about the story. Basically it's a giant torture session but with a really good payoff.
Thus concludes our first class. What have we learned?
Adam: Uh...I think being a muse is basically just being a jerk.
Yeah, pretty much. Until next class! If there is a next class. If I remember. If I'm awake.
JP
Ok, people, we're gonna do things a little differently today, so everybody be quiet and pay attention! Because my life apparently isn't crazy enough, I'm here to offer tips to the beginner or wannabe muse. Or for you writers out there, a more in depth look of what exactly is going on with your most favorite (just try and call us) imaginary friends. So! Where are my pupils??
*Adam waves frantically*
Just one??? Oh, by the way, I'm training Adam as my backup for when Sarah's being annoying and I want a nap. She's not going to like it, but, uh, tough something or other.
Adam: We've got a student/teacher thing going on here.
Been there, done that. Ok, one student. *sigh* Fine. First lesson! Let's talk about the ABNs of musing.
Adam: Don't you mean ABCs?
First of all, how about raising a hand when you have a question, Mr. uhhh...do you have a last name yet?
Adam: No.
Of course not. Mr. Perfect Hair. Anyway, no! The ABNs. Always Be Napping. This is crucial. A muse needs his beauty sleep. Or, you know, hers, because I guess most muses are girls but we're working for a psycho over here. Either way, beauty sleep! How can you be providing your best inspiration if you're tired and groggy? I'd say at least 22 hours a day. Are you writing this down?
Adam:....You never said to take notes....
Moving on! The next lesson is about spontaneity. If your writer is getting all their stuff together, finishing her coffee, booting up the laptop, getting the pencils and paper lined up, is that the perfect time to provide inspiration?
Adam: Well, I would think s--
WRONG! Of course not! You can't just give ideas when they're expecting them! Where's the fun in that? Where's the passion? We're not freaking robots over here! It's best to be completely random when providing inspiration. Whenever you feel like it, really, but never when they're expecting it. Now, when are the best times to provide inspiration?
Adam: Oh, wait, I know this! Uh...when she's falling asleep or when she's in the shower.
CORRECT. You've been paying attention!
Adam: ...Why are those the best times, exactly?
That's just the way it is. We don't ask questions about it. Lesson number three: withholding stuff. We can't just give it all away. That would make us sluts, now wouldn't it?
Adam: Uh..........
I mean with muse stuff! Get your mind out of the gutter. Save that for after class. Anyway, you always want to make your writer work for their inspiration and information. It shouldn't always be easy. Got a piece of information that she needs? Don't tell her! Make her think about it for months, maybe even years before you finally give it up. Like our band's name, for example.
Adam: Oh, you mean--
Shhhhhhhhh! Spoilers! We're not there yet!
Finally, lesson number four: something a bit unexpected. The complete and total onslaught of inspiration. This can be fun but also very exhausting. (Just remember lesson one!) When you're feeling up to providing a decent amount of inspiration, just go for the extreme. Hit them with everything you've got. Don't let them sleep or eat or do anything except write. Make it physically painful for them not to be writing. Every single thought and every single second should be about the story. Basically it's a giant torture session but with a really good payoff.
Thus concludes our first class. What have we learned?
Adam: Uh...I think being a muse is basically just being a jerk.
Yeah, pretty much. Until next class! If there is a next class. If I remember. If I'm awake.
JP
06 February 2017
Jordan Takes Over: Mix it Up (Also, I'm Not a Girl)
**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**
Look, I feel like there’s been some confusion for
people who don’t regularly stop in here (I know the regs know waaaaaaaaaay
better. Especially anyone who’s been to a Muse Party and had to deal with my
sass in person). But it seems that every so often whenever I make my monthly
post, someone comes along and leaves a comment that calls me Miss or Ms. Muse.
Well, I’m just gonna have to put my foot down here.
I’m not a girl. I am, in fact, a guy. I could explain this more
graphically if you’d like, but Sarah says I have to keep it PG. And I thought I
was allowed PG-13!! Not fair.
Now I understand where some of the confusion may
have started. I don’t really blame you if you just stopped in one day never
having heard about me before and just assumed that I’m a girl. Well, first of
all, this blog belongs to a girl. Most muses you hear about are also girls. And
of course I have a name that could be a girl’s or a guy’s. So sure, fine, I’ll
cut you some slack.
Or perhaps you were confused by me talking about a
boyfriend or a hot guy or something. Well…you can do math, can’t you? (Let’s
not talk about me and math. That’s a looooooooooooong story).
Plus, you can’t actually see me. But remember the
Anti-Valentine’s Day Muse Party? With the cartoons? In which I am so clearly a
guy?? Remember???? Here, I'll refresh your memory (this is also a fairly accurate representation of my relationship with Sarah):
She's the one in the pink dress, if that wasn't clear. I don't like pink.
Why does this require an entire blog post, you say? I’m not just whining here, I swear. And it is not because of my "fragile masculinity," no matter what Sarah tells you. Yes, I can have that. Doesn't mean that I do.
Well, because writers can write about whatever the hell they want. And they can write from whatever character’s point of view that they want. So just because a writer is a girl doesn’t mean her first person narrators all have to be girls, too. She can write from a guy’s POV. Or vice versa, of course. If writers could only write about characters who were exactly like them, that would be soooooo boring! Blech. Ugh. No thanks.
That whole "write what you know" advice can be complete crap, really. What, are you all just supposed to write autobiographies? Have a little diversity, people. Mix things up. Write from someone's point of view that's different from you. Write about things that never happened to you. Research exists for a reason, right? I mean, sure, my life story would probably be pretty interesting (not trying to brag or anything), but is everyone's? Who wants a boring story? NO ONE. Duh.
Why does this require an entire blog post, you say? I’m not just whining here, I swear. And it is not because of my "fragile masculinity," no matter what Sarah tells you. Yes, I can have that. Doesn't mean that I do.
Well, because writers can write about whatever the hell they want. And they can write from whatever character’s point of view that they want. So just because a writer is a girl doesn’t mean her first person narrators all have to be girls, too. She can write from a guy’s POV. Or vice versa, of course. If writers could only write about characters who were exactly like them, that would be soooooo boring! Blech. Ugh. No thanks.
That whole "write what you know" advice can be complete crap, really. What, are you all just supposed to write autobiographies? Have a little diversity, people. Mix things up. Write from someone's point of view that's different from you. Write about things that never happened to you. Research exists for a reason, right? I mean, sure, my life story would probably be pretty interesting (not trying to brag or anything), but is everyone's? Who wants a boring story? NO ONE. Duh.
So, in conclusion: write whatever characters you
want. Also, I am not—I repeat—NOT a girl.
JP
02 January 2017
Jordan Takes Over: What'd I Miss
**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**
I just want everyone to know that Sarah picked the title for this post. Because she's nuts. I will not be dancing around and singing like Thomas Jefferson, thank you very much. Well, I could sing, if you ask really nice (or bribe me with chocolate). But no musicals!
Here, I'll sing a little something for you...I know something you don't know! OUCH! Sarah just pinched me! She's so mean. Seriously. Just wait for Book 2. Torture city.
WHERE WAS I???? Stop distracting me! So yes, I have been gone for quite some time. My last blog takeover post was in August (whaaaaaaaaat?). Now, I wouldn't say that I've been lazy (so you shouldn't, either), but in my defense, it's hard to motivate myself to write a blog post when Sarah isn't really writing them either. I mean, really. What do you people want from me?
There was supposed to be a point to this post, wasn't there? I can't really remember what it was. Ok, so the title is kind of fitting. I've missed quite a bit. But you've missed everything about me, too! I mean, I finally turned 21 and nobody threw me a booze soaked Muse Party?? Rude. It's ok. In the real world, Adam and I went clubbing and we danced and I blacked out. Fun times. In muse world, well...I guess I took a nap or something. Also fun times.
But what's going on in blogging world (exactly how many worlds are there...?)??? Fill me in. I'm running out of things to talk about here. Uh...what's everyone's favorite kind of tea? If you can guess mine then Sarah will make you a batch of cupcakes. No I didn't ask her, but it'll be fine, trust me. I'm very persuasive.
JP
I just want everyone to know that Sarah picked the title for this post. Because she's nuts. I will not be dancing around and singing like Thomas Jefferson, thank you very much. Well, I could sing, if you ask really nice (or bribe me with chocolate). But no musicals!
Here, I'll sing a little something for you...I know something you don't know! OUCH! Sarah just pinched me! She's so mean. Seriously. Just wait for Book 2. Torture city.
WHERE WAS I???? Stop distracting me! So yes, I have been gone for quite some time. My last blog takeover post was in August (whaaaaaaaaat?). Now, I wouldn't say that I've been lazy (so you shouldn't, either), but in my defense, it's hard to motivate myself to write a blog post when Sarah isn't really writing them either. I mean, really. What do you people want from me?
There was supposed to be a point to this post, wasn't there? I can't really remember what it was. Ok, so the title is kind of fitting. I've missed quite a bit. But you've missed everything about me, too! I mean, I finally turned 21 and nobody threw me a booze soaked Muse Party?? Rude. It's ok. In the real world, Adam and I went clubbing and we danced and I blacked out. Fun times. In muse world, well...I guess I took a nap or something. Also fun times.
But what's going on in blogging world (exactly how many worlds are there...?)??? Fill me in. I'm running out of things to talk about here. Uh...what's everyone's favorite kind of tea? If you can guess mine then Sarah will make you a batch of cupcakes. No I didn't ask her, but it'll be fine, trust me. I'm very persuasive.
JP
01 August 2016
Jordan Takes Over: Can You Keep a Secret?
**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**
Everybody get in real close because this post is top secret! I love a juicy secret, don't you?? I'm kind of an expert on secrets, actually. There's like at least ten of them in my first book. Seriously. Sadly, this secret isn't all that juicy, but it's still a secret. So everybody be quiet!
As much as I hate to ask, I need some advice. Ugh. I can usually figure things out on my own, but you know, I had to write a post today anyway so this seemed like a good idea. So! Next Tuesday is Sarah's birthday. And I guess if I want to be a good muse I should get her a present or something. But what?
Before you state the obvious, let's run through some options first. I mean, due to the weird worldly restrictions of the muse-writer relationship, I can't just go out and buy her something. Nothing's ever easy, is it? So that limits my options. Now I could totally do something music related, like write her a song. But that's kinda weird, right? I don't even write songs for my boyfriends. Well, ok, I've only had two. And a half...ish. Ok, I have written songs about the half-ish one, but those are secrets, too. So, shh! But anyway, a song probably isn't the way to go. I could finally tell her the name of my band, but that's just way too easy. She's gotta work for that information. I could make her an awesome playlist or something. I mean, she literally only listens to Hamilton. For months now. There's this thing called variety, people! She can't be reasoned with! MAKE IT STOP.
Anyway, ok, so, the obvious thing to give is INSPIRATION. I guess. It's not like it would take a ridiculous amount of effort on my part. But it's not exactly a concrete concept, either. How much inspiration are we talking about here? And when? And most importantly, at what point can I stop and take a nap??
I mean, I've gotta work around schedules here! Do you think she'll actually want inspiration on her birthday, or will she be too busy? So when? Before? After? How many hours are we talking here? I have a life. Or should we focus more on the quantity of writing? Say, one chapter? Two? I don't know. I'm not the writer here! That's why I'm asking you people! And don't say infinite inspiration! That's just crazy.
Well anyway, I guess I'll figure something out. Hopefully I won't just fall asleep and forget...
JP
Everybody get in real close because this post is top secret! I love a juicy secret, don't you?? I'm kind of an expert on secrets, actually. There's like at least ten of them in my first book. Seriously. Sadly, this secret isn't all that juicy, but it's still a secret. So everybody be quiet!
As much as I hate to ask, I need some advice. Ugh. I can usually figure things out on my own, but you know, I had to write a post today anyway so this seemed like a good idea. So! Next Tuesday is Sarah's birthday. And I guess if I want to be a good muse I should get her a present or something. But what?
Before you state the obvious, let's run through some options first. I mean, due to the weird worldly restrictions of the muse-writer relationship, I can't just go out and buy her something. Nothing's ever easy, is it? So that limits my options. Now I could totally do something music related, like write her a song. But that's kinda weird, right? I don't even write songs for my boyfriends. Well, ok, I've only had two. And a half...ish. Ok, I have written songs about the half-ish one, but those are secrets, too. So, shh! But anyway, a song probably isn't the way to go. I could finally tell her the name of my band, but that's just way too easy. She's gotta work for that information. I could make her an awesome playlist or something. I mean, she literally only listens to Hamilton. For months now. There's this thing called variety, people! She can't be reasoned with! MAKE IT STOP.
Anyway, ok, so, the obvious thing to give is INSPIRATION. I guess. It's not like it would take a ridiculous amount of effort on my part. But it's not exactly a concrete concept, either. How much inspiration are we talking about here? And when? And most importantly, at what point can I stop and take a nap??
I mean, I've gotta work around schedules here! Do you think she'll actually want inspiration on her birthday, or will she be too busy? So when? Before? After? How many hours are we talking here? I have a life. Or should we focus more on the quantity of writing? Say, one chapter? Two? I don't know. I'm not the writer here! That's why I'm asking you people! And don't say infinite inspiration! That's just crazy.
Well anyway, I guess I'll figure something out. Hopefully I won't just fall asleep and forget...
JP
06 June 2016
Jordan Takes Over: But I Don't Wanna!
**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**
People like to bitch and moan. It's just what we do. It makes us feel important. Especially when other people are around to hear us bitching. I mean, would you read a book or watch a movie or listen to ten songs in a row where everyone is happy? No, because that's boring. We like other people's misery even more than our own. It just makes for good entertainment.
People like to bitch the most, I think, when they have to do something that they don't want to. Like me writing this blog post. Wait, what? Did I say that? Prove it. Things like, going to the dentist, or getting your car inspected (I live in NYC, I don't need a car, haha!). Or maybe just going to your job every day. Every second can't be filled with great, fun things that you love doing, right? It's just part of life.
Case in point, Chapter Three. Well, the first half of it, anyway. We finished the edit (if you can call it that, it was basically perfect already) of Chapter Two on Tuesday, but you wanna know what's happened since then? A whole lot of nothing. And it's not my fault.
Don't believe me, do you? Look, I am perfectly willing and able to provide inspiration for this scene. I've even suggested ways to change it so it works better and fits in some setting crap that we haven't put in the first two chapters (Yes, it was my idea. No one is here to deny it, right? So it's the truth, then.). But a certain Miss Writer Lady (who shall remain nameless) doesn't want to work on it. Why? Because it's too hard! Boo hoo.
This is a scene that needs to pretty much be completely rewritten. And that's too hard and scary to even attempt, right? Hey, remember last month when I talked about how you blame your muses when you can't write? Well, that is not always the case, thank you very much. Sometimes you're too scared to write or you just don't want to do it because it's too hard and needs too much work,
Well, GET OVER IT. Guess what happens when you don't even try? Nothing! At least if you make an attempt, you'll eventually get through it. It could take forever, but eventually it will happen. And then you can move onto the next scene which is way more fun anyway.
So, in summary: Suck it up and stop your bitching.
JP
People like to bitch and moan. It's just what we do. It makes us feel important. Especially when other people are around to hear us bitching. I mean, would you read a book or watch a movie or listen to ten songs in a row where everyone is happy? No, because that's boring. We like other people's misery even more than our own. It just makes for good entertainment.
People like to bitch the most, I think, when they have to do something that they don't want to. Like me writing this blog post. Wait, what? Did I say that? Prove it. Things like, going to the dentist, or getting your car inspected (I live in NYC, I don't need a car, haha!). Or maybe just going to your job every day. Every second can't be filled with great, fun things that you love doing, right? It's just part of life.
Case in point, Chapter Three. Well, the first half of it, anyway. We finished the edit (if you can call it that, it was basically perfect already) of Chapter Two on Tuesday, but you wanna know what's happened since then? A whole lot of nothing. And it's not my fault.
Don't believe me, do you? Look, I am perfectly willing and able to provide inspiration for this scene. I've even suggested ways to change it so it works better and fits in some setting crap that we haven't put in the first two chapters (Yes, it was my idea. No one is here to deny it, right? So it's the truth, then.). But a certain Miss Writer Lady (who shall remain nameless) doesn't want to work on it. Why? Because it's too hard! Boo hoo.
This is a scene that needs to pretty much be completely rewritten. And that's too hard and scary to even attempt, right? Hey, remember last month when I talked about how you blame your muses when you can't write? Well, that is not always the case, thank you very much. Sometimes you're too scared to write or you just don't want to do it because it's too hard and needs too much work,
Well, GET OVER IT. Guess what happens when you don't even try? Nothing! At least if you make an attempt, you'll eventually get through it. It could take forever, but eventually it will happen. And then you can move onto the next scene which is way more fun anyway.
So, in summary: Suck it up and stop your bitching.
JP
02 May 2016
Jordan Takes Over: Blame Game
**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**
Can you believe it's been two months since I've written a post? Are you devastated?? Ok, ok, I know it probably doesn't feel that way since Sarah spent the whole month of April talking about how obsessed with me she is, or something like that. I don't know, I didn't actually read them. AND I'd like to know whose idea was it to have Adam write my March post. Mine, you say? Because I was sleeping?? I want proof. Recordings, documents, things with signatures! I don’t give up things that are mine that easily. And I certainly don’t share.
So anyway, when you can't write, you tend to make a lot of excuses. No time, too tired, no inspiration, blah blah blah. About that last one, though. If you can't write because you don't feel inspired, who do you usually blame? Yourself? Yeah, right. You blame your muse. And let me tell you, we're sick and tired of your crap.
Ok, so I'm actually not the most cooperative of muses. I mean, we've been working on this thing forever. Like, I was 15 when we started. Now I'm hearing that Sarah and Adam are teaming up to write some short story for my 21st birthday (and they think I don't know about it!). But that's not until December (plenty of time to figure out what you're getting me).
Wait, I'm getting off topic. Where was I? Oh right, being cooperative. You see, I didn't exactly sign up for this muse gig. It just kinda happened. It just means I had a good story to tell, not that I was some great resource for inspiration. I mean, do I really have to be around every single day until we get this done? Because I definitely haven't been. Oops.
I'm not exactly a big picture kind of guy. I don't think too far into the future. I'm more about living in the moment. I guess writing a novel is really a big picture kind of thing. Sure, you take it one word, one scene, one chapter at a time. But you can't exactly get the thing done without at least imagining the whole thing. So I'd have to say I'm not exactly the best person to help with writing a novel.
But it's not entirely my fault, either! If I actually get on board with providing the inspiration and she doesn't even use it, well, what should I do? Just keep giving and giving and still nothing happens? Yeah, right. Trust me, I don't stick with anything if it isn't worth it for me. So why do I stick around at all? What, do you think I could get someone else to write my story? I do not even want to go there.
So we're not exactly perfect for each other. Or maybe we are. Still figuring that one out.
JP
Can you believe it's been two months since I've written a post? Are you devastated?? Ok, ok, I know it probably doesn't feel that way since Sarah spent the whole month of April talking about how obsessed with me she is, or something like that. I don't know, I didn't actually read them. AND I'd like to know whose idea was it to have Adam write my March post. Mine, you say? Because I was sleeping?? I want proof. Recordings, documents, things with signatures! I don’t give up things that are mine that easily. And I certainly don’t share.
So anyway, when you can't write, you tend to make a lot of excuses. No time, too tired, no inspiration, blah blah blah. About that last one, though. If you can't write because you don't feel inspired, who do you usually blame? Yourself? Yeah, right. You blame your muse. And let me tell you, we're sick and tired of your crap.
Ok, so I'm actually not the most cooperative of muses. I mean, we've been working on this thing forever. Like, I was 15 when we started. Now I'm hearing that Sarah and Adam are teaming up to write some short story for my 21st birthday (and they think I don't know about it!). But that's not until December (plenty of time to figure out what you're getting me).
Wait, I'm getting off topic. Where was I? Oh right, being cooperative. You see, I didn't exactly sign up for this muse gig. It just kinda happened. It just means I had a good story to tell, not that I was some great resource for inspiration. I mean, do I really have to be around every single day until we get this done? Because I definitely haven't been. Oops.
I'm not exactly a big picture kind of guy. I don't think too far into the future. I'm more about living in the moment. I guess writing a novel is really a big picture kind of thing. Sure, you take it one word, one scene, one chapter at a time. But you can't exactly get the thing done without at least imagining the whole thing. So I'd have to say I'm not exactly the best person to help with writing a novel.
But it's not entirely my fault, either! If I actually get on board with providing the inspiration and she doesn't even use it, well, what should I do? Just keep giving and giving and still nothing happens? Yeah, right. Trust me, I don't stick with anything if it isn't worth it for me. So why do I stick around at all? What, do you think I could get someone else to write my story? I do not even want to go there.
So we're not exactly perfect for each other. Or maybe we are. Still figuring that one out.
JP
07 March 2016
Jordan Takes Over (Except Not...): New Characters, New Voices
**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. Except this month. This month, he didn't feel like it. He felt like sleeping. And since I've been writing a useless thing from Adam's point of view (aka Wannabe-Muse-2), Jordan told him to do it. I have no control over these things. So fine! Take it away, Adam...**
Wait, what do I do? No one told me what to do!
Jordan is sleeping and Sarah is glaring at me. I don't think she likes me. Well, ok, that's not true. She loves me but she really wants to hate me. Is that even a thing? Like hate to love, love to hate? Love but want to hate? Never heard of that. Sarah didn't want me to take over. It was Jordan's idea. Well, because he wanted to keep sleeping. He's so cute when he's sleeping! Uh-oh, Sarah's tapping her foot now. She didn't want me to write this post because apparently I "don't have a voice yet." Mostly because "nothing will ever be published from my POV." And anything written from my POV is "complete self-indulgent cutesy crap." Or something.
I guess I could talk about writers being totally mean to their characters, but I won't (I think Jordan could handle that topic better). But lets talk about having a voice. Voice is one of those things that a character needs, whether the story is written from that character's perspective or not. Every time a character speaks, you want that person to feel real. Not every character should sound exactly the same. That would get pretty boring.
So when you are writing from a character's point of view, it's even more important for that voice to be unique. First of all, you don't want your novel to sound like a textbook. If you're using first person, you want that character's voice to actually seem like a real person is telling the story. Their choice of words should reflect who they are and how they react to what's happening to them. And if you write a new book with different characters, you'll want it to sound different.
But sometimes you've got a new character. And you haven't quite figured everything out about him. Take me, for example. I still don't have a last or middle name, eye color, or a proper description of my hair, apparently. I don't know what the big deal is, it's just hair. But anyway, I'm also lacking pretty much all of my backstory. But that's ok. New characters are never going to be 100% complete when you first think of them. It takes time to sort out all those details, figure out what will work for the character and for the story.
The same can be said for voice. It isn't going to come to you right away. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be writing. Like all of those other details, eventually it will sort itself out. Once you start writing as that character, eventually how he speaks will start to feel more natural. You'll know exactly what he'd say about a situation. The most important things you can do are to keep thinking and keep writing. And eventually those new characters won't seem so new anymore.
I'm being told this is just a one time thing, since I will "never ever be an actual muse." So I promise I'll wake Jordan up for next month's post. Mostly because I don't want Sarah to yell at me...Bye!
Wait, what do I do? No one told me what to do!
Jordan is sleeping and Sarah is glaring at me. I don't think she likes me. Well, ok, that's not true. She loves me but she really wants to hate me. Is that even a thing? Like hate to love, love to hate? Love but want to hate? Never heard of that. Sarah didn't want me to take over. It was Jordan's idea. Well, because he wanted to keep sleeping. He's so cute when he's sleeping! Uh-oh, Sarah's tapping her foot now. She didn't want me to write this post because apparently I "don't have a voice yet." Mostly because "nothing will ever be published from my POV." And anything written from my POV is "complete self-indulgent cutesy crap." Or something.
I guess I could talk about writers being totally mean to their characters, but I won't (I think Jordan could handle that topic better). But lets talk about having a voice. Voice is one of those things that a character needs, whether the story is written from that character's perspective or not. Every time a character speaks, you want that person to feel real. Not every character should sound exactly the same. That would get pretty boring.
So when you are writing from a character's point of view, it's even more important for that voice to be unique. First of all, you don't want your novel to sound like a textbook. If you're using first person, you want that character's voice to actually seem like a real person is telling the story. Their choice of words should reflect who they are and how they react to what's happening to them. And if you write a new book with different characters, you'll want it to sound different.
But sometimes you've got a new character. And you haven't quite figured everything out about him. Take me, for example. I still don't have a last or middle name, eye color, or a proper description of my hair, apparently. I don't know what the big deal is, it's just hair. But anyway, I'm also lacking pretty much all of my backstory. But that's ok. New characters are never going to be 100% complete when you first think of them. It takes time to sort out all those details, figure out what will work for the character and for the story.
The same can be said for voice. It isn't going to come to you right away. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be writing. Like all of those other details, eventually it will sort itself out. Once you start writing as that character, eventually how he speaks will start to feel more natural. You'll know exactly what he'd say about a situation. The most important things you can do are to keep thinking and keep writing. And eventually those new characters won't seem so new anymore.
I'm being told this is just a one time thing, since I will "never ever be an actual muse." So I promise I'll wake Jordan up for next month's post. Mostly because I don't want Sarah to yell at me...Bye!
04 January 2016
Jordan Takes Over: New Year's Whatever
**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**
First of all, I'd just like to point out that the last post on this blog was my post from last month, so that means Sarah is slacking off more than me. Let's all just keep that in mind the next time she yells at me.
Anyway, so it's a whole new year or something. Big freaking deal. People do the same thing every year, they say how they're going to change everything about their lives and do so much better and then two weeks later everything is back to normal. It's so lame. You know I hate lame things. What is it about a new year that makes suddenly makes people go all psycho?
I've never had a resolution. Well, mostly because I'm perfect. But that's not the point. Actually, it's really because if I want to do something, I just do it. I don't need that extra push of motivation that a new year supposedly brings. Ok, so maybe that isn't the best advice to give to everyone. Doing and getting the things you want doesn't always come easy. I'm not saying it's always easy for me, either. But sometimes trying to get those things and figuring out how to get them can be half the fun. But somehow people spend most of their time making excuses and not actually trying to do the things they want.
So let's say you've got something you want to get done. You want to read more or write more or lose weight or exercise or ask out that really hot guy in your music theory class (wait, what?). You have to ask yourself what's really stopping you from doing it and I guarantee that it's not the time of year. Like you've been telling yourself, oh, it's December, I can't start anything new in December. Well, why the hell not???? You just wasted a whole month where you could have been doing that thing you want to do! So you're still not writing and you're still fat and you're still not getting laid.
You know what else is super phony? The whole new year's motivation never lasts. Sure, you may have a few weeks where you'll actually feel productive and you really think it's gonna last forever, but it'll wear off. So why do people pretend that every new year is suddenly going to be different from all the previous ones?
This is what I want you to do. Stop giving a crap about what time of year it is. I'm serious. No lame excuses. If you want to do something, just do it already. If you need to think think about why it's so difficult for you to motivate yourself, then do that first. But stop relying on the beginning of the year to motivate you. January is sick of your bullshit.
JP
First of all, I'd just like to point out that the last post on this blog was my post from last month, so that means Sarah is slacking off more than me. Let's all just keep that in mind the next time she yells at me.
Anyway, so it's a whole new year or something. Big freaking deal. People do the same thing every year, they say how they're going to change everything about their lives and do so much better and then two weeks later everything is back to normal. It's so lame. You know I hate lame things. What is it about a new year that makes suddenly makes people go all psycho?
I've never had a resolution. Well, mostly because I'm perfect. But that's not the point. Actually, it's really because if I want to do something, I just do it. I don't need that extra push of motivation that a new year supposedly brings. Ok, so maybe that isn't the best advice to give to everyone. Doing and getting the things you want doesn't always come easy. I'm not saying it's always easy for me, either. But sometimes trying to get those things and figuring out how to get them can be half the fun. But somehow people spend most of their time making excuses and not actually trying to do the things they want.
So let's say you've got something you want to get done. You want to read more or write more or lose weight or exercise or ask out that really hot guy in your music theory class (wait, what?). You have to ask yourself what's really stopping you from doing it and I guarantee that it's not the time of year. Like you've been telling yourself, oh, it's December, I can't start anything new in December. Well, why the hell not???? You just wasted a whole month where you could have been doing that thing you want to do! So you're still not writing and you're still fat and you're still not getting laid.
You know what else is super phony? The whole new year's motivation never lasts. Sure, you may have a few weeks where you'll actually feel productive and you really think it's gonna last forever, but it'll wear off. So why do people pretend that every new year is suddenly going to be different from all the previous ones?
This is what I want you to do. Stop giving a crap about what time of year it is. I'm serious. No lame excuses. If you want to do something, just do it already. If you need to think think about why it's so difficult for you to motivate yourself, then do that first. But stop relying on the beginning of the year to motivate you. January is sick of your bullshit.
JP
07 December 2015
Jordan Takes Over: Too Much to Deal With
**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**
So it's kind of been a ghost town over here lately. I've seen tumbleweeds, I swear. We're basically pulling off the bare minimum here--IWSG last week and my post today (because those are requirements!), but I can't really promise anything else. It's really a day by day thing at this point. Look, it's hard enough to come up with blog posts when you don't have any ideas, but then when you add on having no time to come up with said ideas, it gets even harder. I know what you're going to say, "But Jordan, helping with ideas is your department, why aren't you helping???" To which I would say, be quiet.
I didn't even really want to post this month but my birthday is next week and how else was I going to get all of you to wish me a happy birthday?? (I'll wait). We were actually thinking a while back of having a Christmas themed Muse Party Blogfest next week but with the whole new job thing, there just wasn't any time to plan it. So we'll probably have another one for the blog anniversary at the end of May. See? That's plenty of time. So we should start planning now...
People always complain about having no time. It probably gets more blame than your muses when you aren't able to write (which is hard to believe because you blame us for everything). There are always things in life that you have to do, and they usually push aside the things that you want to do. Time management can be a bitch. And if you've got way too much going on, you may miss what's going on around you.
I've got a perfect example! This year is the big 2-0 for me (thank God, felt like I was going to have to be a teenager forever!), and Book 2 takes place a few months after I turn 20. And there is a lot going on in that book. Seriously, if you think I have it easy, you are so wrong. I'm very busy. So let's break this down:
First of all, there's the basics: I'm in college full time and have a part time job on top of that. I have my band, so there's gigs, rehearsing, trying to write new songs. My mom is getting married (lame) and I'm supposed to give her away (so lame), so there's that. She's also getting rid of our apartment (pretending that she actually lived there in the first place) so I need to find a new place to live. THEN. I get contacted by a family member who I've never met (SPOILERS!) so that complicates things a lot. And on top of all of this, because I'm an idiot, apparently (don't quote me on that), I decide to throw a new boyfriend on top of all this mess.
So what happens when you have too much on your plate? Well, for me, it's that I'm too busy to notice that my boyfriend gets progressively more abusive until it is waaaaaaaaaaaay too late, but we won't get into that. For most normal people, it will probably lead to some kind of nervous breakdown. You may just hide in your bed for a week (which isn't always a bad thing). But chances are, you're definitely not going to have time to do the things you want to do.
So it may be quiet around here for a little while until things get sorted out. But don't worry, I'll still pop in every now and then to make it a little loud.
JP
So it's kind of been a ghost town over here lately. I've seen tumbleweeds, I swear. We're basically pulling off the bare minimum here--IWSG last week and my post today (because those are requirements!), but I can't really promise anything else. It's really a day by day thing at this point. Look, it's hard enough to come up with blog posts when you don't have any ideas, but then when you add on having no time to come up with said ideas, it gets even harder. I know what you're going to say, "But Jordan, helping with ideas is your department, why aren't you helping???" To which I would say, be quiet.
I didn't even really want to post this month but my birthday is next week and how else was I going to get all of you to wish me a happy birthday?? (I'll wait). We were actually thinking a while back of having a Christmas themed Muse Party Blogfest next week but with the whole new job thing, there just wasn't any time to plan it. So we'll probably have another one for the blog anniversary at the end of May. See? That's plenty of time. So we should start planning now...
People always complain about having no time. It probably gets more blame than your muses when you aren't able to write (which is hard to believe because you blame us for everything). There are always things in life that you have to do, and they usually push aside the things that you want to do. Time management can be a bitch. And if you've got way too much going on, you may miss what's going on around you.
I've got a perfect example! This year is the big 2-0 for me (thank God, felt like I was going to have to be a teenager forever!), and Book 2 takes place a few months after I turn 20. And there is a lot going on in that book. Seriously, if you think I have it easy, you are so wrong. I'm very busy. So let's break this down:
First of all, there's the basics: I'm in college full time and have a part time job on top of that. I have my band, so there's gigs, rehearsing, trying to write new songs. My mom is getting married (lame) and I'm supposed to give her away (so lame), so there's that. She's also getting rid of our apartment (pretending that she actually lived there in the first place) so I need to find a new place to live. THEN. I get contacted by a family member who I've never met (SPOILERS!) so that complicates things a lot. And on top of all of this, because I'm an idiot, apparently (don't quote me on that), I decide to throw a new boyfriend on top of all this mess.
So what happens when you have too much on your plate? Well, for me, it's that I'm too busy to notice that my boyfriend gets progressively more abusive until it is waaaaaaaaaaaay too late, but we won't get into that. For most normal people, it will probably lead to some kind of nervous breakdown. You may just hide in your bed for a week (which isn't always a bad thing). But chances are, you're definitely not going to have time to do the things you want to do.
So it may be quiet around here for a little while until things get sorted out. But don't worry, I'll still pop in every now and then to make it a little loud.
JP
02 November 2015
Jordan Takes Over: Be a Rock Star
**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**
Hey, guess what! Sarah has a job interview this morning so I get to take over! Oh wait, I was going to do that anyway...yeah, yeah, first Monday, blah blah blah. Hey, SHUT UP. Trust me, you don't want to make fun of me, because then you'll end up on my bad side and that is not a place you want to be.
Anyway. Most people have a thing. You know, that thing that you're really good and that you actually love to do. I'm sure for most people reading this, writing is your thing. For me, it's music. You may know what your thing is the second you're born or it may take several years to figure out. And if you're really really lucky, you can find a job that involves your thing. But even if you can't, you should never let that passion take a backseat, or even worse, slip away.
Luckily for me, I will only have two jobs in my lifetime. I started working at a music shop when I was in high school (selling instruments, maybe giving voice lessons...we're still working out the details...writers...ugh). Second job: rock star. You think I'm kidding, don't you? Just wait until you see all my future Grammys. So both of my jobs involve the thing I'm passionate about (one slightly more successfully than the other, but you get the idea).
But it wasn't always going to be this way. I'm not usually one to give up control in any situation, but when it comes to this Book 3 nonsense, I had zero say in the initial plot line. But that's not the issue here. Before the idea for this book came about, we didn't have any idea how or even if my books would end. But all of the ideas never involved me actually becoming a rock star, which is just plain stupid. I mean, come on, you've got a fictional character who should be a rock star, then you make them one. Right?
Which leads me to the bigger picture here. If you've got this thing, this passion, then you should be utilizing it to the best of your ability. Now, maybe everyone out there isn't lucky enough to become a rock star or a bestselling author. Maybe that's not even what you want. But whatever it is that you want to do, you should be doing. Don't let it take a backseat to stupid life--you know, stupid jobs, stupid relationships, stupid everything. Even if you just have a few minutes every day to work on that thing that you're passionate about, you should be doing it.
So do your thing. Be a rock star. Don't let your whole life be one boring mess.
JP
Hey, guess what! Sarah has a job interview this morning so I get to take over! Oh wait, I was going to do that anyway...yeah, yeah, first Monday, blah blah blah. Hey, SHUT UP. Trust me, you don't want to make fun of me, because then you'll end up on my bad side and that is not a place you want to be.
Anyway. Most people have a thing. You know, that thing that you're really good and that you actually love to do. I'm sure for most people reading this, writing is your thing. For me, it's music. You may know what your thing is the second you're born or it may take several years to figure out. And if you're really really lucky, you can find a job that involves your thing. But even if you can't, you should never let that passion take a backseat, or even worse, slip away.
Luckily for me, I will only have two jobs in my lifetime. I started working at a music shop when I was in high school (selling instruments, maybe giving voice lessons...we're still working out the details...writers...ugh). Second job: rock star. You think I'm kidding, don't you? Just wait until you see all my future Grammys. So both of my jobs involve the thing I'm passionate about (one slightly more successfully than the other, but you get the idea).
But it wasn't always going to be this way. I'm not usually one to give up control in any situation, but when it comes to this Book 3 nonsense, I had zero say in the initial plot line. But that's not the issue here. Before the idea for this book came about, we didn't have any idea how or even if my books would end. But all of the ideas never involved me actually becoming a rock star, which is just plain stupid. I mean, come on, you've got a fictional character who should be a rock star, then you make them one. Right?
Which leads me to the bigger picture here. If you've got this thing, this passion, then you should be utilizing it to the best of your ability. Now, maybe everyone out there isn't lucky enough to become a rock star or a bestselling author. Maybe that's not even what you want. But whatever it is that you want to do, you should be doing. Don't let it take a backseat to stupid life--you know, stupid jobs, stupid relationships, stupid everything. Even if you just have a few minutes every day to work on that thing that you're passionate about, you should be doing it.
So do your thing. Be a rock star. Don't let your whole life be one boring mess.
JP
05 October 2015
Jordan Takes Over: Own It
**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**
Can you believe it's been two months since I last posted? I know, you missed me terribly. We'll have grief counseling later on today. Ok, not really. But anyway, September apparently was the anti-blogging month around here so I just went with it and took a nap.
Today, however, I have a great topic to talk about. Brace yourselves. It's all about accepting your story for what it is and not trying to change it for the wrong reasons. Which I guess could be said about a lot of things in life, but I don't have all day and what do I look like to you, some kind of life coach? Please.
Where was I? Oh, right. STORIES. So for whatever reason, you wrote a story. It can be any kind of story. And you can have whatever kind of reasons for writing it. Maybe it's something you worked really hard to come up with, or maybe it's just some random idea that popped into your head and you have no idea why. Whatever the story and whatever the reason, once you have that story, it's important to stay true to it.
I'm not saying that you won't change things once it's written, because you will. LOTS. Some things have to change. Scenes can be cut, rearranged, or just rewritten. You can add new things in, change characters around. There are a million things. But at its core, the story you're trying to write shouldn't really change.
What I'm trying to say is that whatever kind of story you're writing, own it. If it's a trashy romance, make it trashy. If it's an elaborate fantasy, make it elaborate. And if it's controversial, own that, too. Don't try watering it down just because you feel you have to (I'm not talking about anyone in particular here or anything. Nope nope nope.). Yes, it may be hard and most of the world will be against you, but there are people out there who will jump all over that sort of thing. If your story speaks to you, then there will be other people out there who will get it, too. So let your story be what it needs to be.
If you're trying to change your story not because you really feel it needs to be changed, but because you're trying to please everyone, then you're just a big sellout. Whether you chose this story or it chose you, there's a reason you're writing it, so stick with it. It's your story, so own it.
JP
Today, however, I have a great topic to talk about. Brace yourselves. It's all about accepting your story for what it is and not trying to change it for the wrong reasons. Which I guess could be said about a lot of things in life, but I don't have all day and what do I look like to you, some kind of life coach? Please.
Where was I? Oh, right. STORIES. So for whatever reason, you wrote a story. It can be any kind of story. And you can have whatever kind of reasons for writing it. Maybe it's something you worked really hard to come up with, or maybe it's just some random idea that popped into your head and you have no idea why. Whatever the story and whatever the reason, once you have that story, it's important to stay true to it.
I'm not saying that you won't change things once it's written, because you will. LOTS. Some things have to change. Scenes can be cut, rearranged, or just rewritten. You can add new things in, change characters around. There are a million things. But at its core, the story you're trying to write shouldn't really change.
What I'm trying to say is that whatever kind of story you're writing, own it. If it's a trashy romance, make it trashy. If it's an elaborate fantasy, make it elaborate. And if it's controversial, own that, too. Don't try watering it down just because you feel you have to (I'm not talking about anyone in particular here or anything. Nope nope nope.). Yes, it may be hard and most of the world will be against you, but there are people out there who will jump all over that sort of thing. If your story speaks to you, then there will be other people out there who will get it, too. So let your story be what it needs to be.
If you're trying to change your story not because you really feel it needs to be changed, but because you're trying to please everyone, then you're just a big sellout. Whether you chose this story or it chose you, there's a reason you're writing it, so stick with it. It's your story, so own it.
JP
03 August 2015
Jordan Takes Over: The Voices in Your Head
**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**
First of all, let me just set a few things straight here. If Sarah is telling you I have a boyfriend, IT'S A LIE. Because A) that's not my thing (I mean commitment, not guys...keep up with me, people!), and B) technically I'm only 19 and I don't get together with this guy until we're 22. So there. Plus, hello spoilers! Oh, who am I kidding? By the time Book 3 gets published (assuming it does) you'll forget all about this. In that case, let me tell you...
OH I'M KIDDING. Relax. But anyway, this leads me to today's topic: having multiple characters telling you what to do. It can be extremely difficult when you're being pulled in too many directions by several different ideas or characters. Who do you listen to (uh, me, hello?)? Which idea is more important? Is it just the voice that seems the loudest?
I guess it depends on how many voices and where they're coming from. If you've got several different book ideas going on in your head at once and a strong urge to work on all of them, it can lead to trouble. You'll probably get things mixed up--characters showing up in the wrong book, things like magic or aliens popping into your contemporary romance. Just imagine the chaos if you took all of your book ideas and combined them into one. Scary, right?
So the easiest thing to do is work on one book at a time. I know, I know, easier said than done. I'm not saying you can't jump back and forth. But give one book a good amount of time and attention before you switch gears. Maybe wait for the inspiration to run out and then switch to get it going again.
But you've also got the issue of different characters within the same book or series pulling you in different directions. Maybe you've got minor characters wanting to be more important. Or maybe ideas from every book in your series are hitting you at once. If the characters are the same, it probably won't be as confusing to work on more than one. But if you're throwing your attention everywhere at once, is every piece you're writing going to come out perfect?
Ok, so maybe the easiest thing to say is that listening to the loudest voice is probably the right way to go. Whatever idea, character, scene, book, whatever, is occupying your thoughts the most is the one that you should be working on. Then if you finish that idea, that voice in your head may actually shut up and you can move on to the next one. If you're lucky.
So maybe I'm not always the loudest voice. It probably just means I'm sleeping.
JP
First of all, let me just set a few things straight here. If Sarah is telling you I have a boyfriend, IT'S A LIE. Because A) that's not my thing (I mean commitment, not guys...keep up with me, people!), and B) technically I'm only 19 and I don't get together with this guy until we're 22. So there. Plus, hello spoilers! Oh, who am I kidding? By the time Book 3 gets published (assuming it does) you'll forget all about this. In that case, let me tell you...
OH I'M KIDDING. Relax. But anyway, this leads me to today's topic: having multiple characters telling you what to do. It can be extremely difficult when you're being pulled in too many directions by several different ideas or characters. Who do you listen to (uh, me, hello?)? Which idea is more important? Is it just the voice that seems the loudest?
I guess it depends on how many voices and where they're coming from. If you've got several different book ideas going on in your head at once and a strong urge to work on all of them, it can lead to trouble. You'll probably get things mixed up--characters showing up in the wrong book, things like magic or aliens popping into your contemporary romance. Just imagine the chaos if you took all of your book ideas and combined them into one. Scary, right?
So the easiest thing to do is work on one book at a time. I know, I know, easier said than done. I'm not saying you can't jump back and forth. But give one book a good amount of time and attention before you switch gears. Maybe wait for the inspiration to run out and then switch to get it going again.
But you've also got the issue of different characters within the same book or series pulling you in different directions. Maybe you've got minor characters wanting to be more important. Or maybe ideas from every book in your series are hitting you at once. If the characters are the same, it probably won't be as confusing to work on more than one. But if you're throwing your attention everywhere at once, is every piece you're writing going to come out perfect?
Ok, so maybe the easiest thing to say is that listening to the loudest voice is probably the right way to go. Whatever idea, character, scene, book, whatever, is occupying your thoughts the most is the one that you should be working on. Then if you finish that idea, that voice in your head may actually shut up and you can move on to the next one. If you're lucky.
So maybe I'm not always the loudest voice. It probably just means I'm sleeping.
JP
06 July 2015
Jordan Takes Over: Let Sleeping Muses Lie
**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**
So I'm in trouble, apparently. What else is new? I'm always in trouble. Ok, sometimes on purpose. Because figuring out a way to get out of trouble can be fun. Or seeing how long you can get away with something (hello reason why my novel even happens!).
But anyway. I'm in trouble with Miss Writer Lady because she can't keep her dates straight. Look, I do not have enough time to keep track of every single blog post, or when certain things should be posted. And yet this morning she tweets: "Well then. Wrote an entire blog post, previewed it, & was about to hit publish when I remembered it's Jordan's day to post. WAKE UP, MUSE."
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up a minute. First of all, I'm pretty sure that's slander. I'm calling my lawyer. Second, ok, yeah, I like to sleep. It's one of my favorite things, after all. But still. Like I said, I'm not in charge of these things! If she forgets that it's my day, how is that my fault??? It's her job to remind me, because I'm probably sleeping!
Look! It's even on her calendar! So how is this my fault??!! Notice all the empty dates with no ideas in them. Also not my fault.
When has anyone in the history of ever been able to force their muse into doing something? I mean, really. You can ask nicely. But if we're sleeping then just leave us alone! Trying to wake us up just doesn't work. We will let you know when we're good and ready to inspire. Usually when you're trying to sleep. HA.
I don't see what the fuss is all about. This all worked out in the end. Ok, look. See, now she already has a post written for Wednesday. YOU'RE WELCOME. I'm so under appreciated.
JP
So I'm in trouble, apparently. What else is new? I'm always in trouble. Ok, sometimes on purpose. Because figuring out a way to get out of trouble can be fun. Or seeing how long you can get away with something (hello reason why my novel even happens!).
But anyway. I'm in trouble with Miss Writer Lady because she can't keep her dates straight. Look, I do not have enough time to keep track of every single blog post, or when certain things should be posted. And yet this morning she tweets: "Well then. Wrote an entire blog post, previewed it, & was about to hit publish when I remembered it's Jordan's day to post. WAKE UP, MUSE."
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up a minute. First of all, I'm pretty sure that's slander. I'm calling my lawyer. Second, ok, yeah, I like to sleep. It's one of my favorite things, after all. But still. Like I said, I'm not in charge of these things! If she forgets that it's my day, how is that my fault??? It's her job to remind me, because I'm probably sleeping!
Look! It's even on her calendar! So how is this my fault??!! Notice all the empty dates with no ideas in them. Also not my fault.
I don't see what the fuss is all about. This all worked out in the end. Ok, look. See, now she already has a post written for Wednesday. YOU'RE WELCOME. I'm so under appreciated.
JP
01 June 2015
Jordan Takes Over: The 300th Post
**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**
I know what you're probably thinking. Has Jordan really taken over 300 times? YOU WISH. Nope, this is the overall 300th blog post. And it's all mine. You can't have it.
So what are we doing for the 300th post? Well, seeing as how we threw a giant party last week...not so much. I'm just winging it, really. What, did you think I have a master plan for everything? That would be exhausting. So, 300 posts. That's a lot of writing, right? This is only my 17th time taking over, if you can believe it. I hope you're not sick of me. Not because I care what you think, but because I know how to get revenge on people, so watch out. I mean, just ask my old friend Brian from high school. People started threatening him; he had to transfer schools. You don't want to end up like him, do you??
But anyway, blog posts! 300 sure seems like a lot, doesn't it? Although I'm sure a lot of you reading this blew past that number a long time ago. When you reach a milestone, it can be tricky figuring out what to do with it. You could make a huge deal about it, just casually mention it, or do nothing at all. When we hit 100 it was kind of a big deal, so that post featured 100 facts about my book (no I will not link you. I looked at it recently and like half the facts aren't even true anymore. But I guess that's what editing will do to you...). 200 wasn't such a big deal. This one's not that huge of a deal, either.
You can choose to celebrate milestones or anniversaries. Since we had a huge party last week for the 4th anniversary, it seemed silly to make a big deal about the 300th post just a week later. Plus it just happened to fall on my posting day and I sure as hell wasn't going to give it up. PLEASE.
But you love me, right? I kind of feel like a famous person already. We've got two guest posts/interviews coming up in the near future and one in the works. Well, ok, technically they're Sarah's posts, but my name comes up. Trust me. The third one, though, is all me. You're excited, I know. I'm sure she'll let you know when they happen. Because I'll be too busy.
Busy doing what, you may be wondering. Well, if you think about it, I pretty much only do four things. Actually, five if you count muse-type stuff (like writing this!). Who wants to play a game?! Guess the four things I do with my life. Whoever guesses right will receive a, um....a nice comment back! Not from me, though. I'm going to take a nap *hint hint*............
JP
I know what you're probably thinking. Has Jordan really taken over 300 times? YOU WISH. Nope, this is the overall 300th blog post. And it's all mine. You can't have it.
So what are we doing for the 300th post? Well, seeing as how we threw a giant party last week...not so much. I'm just winging it, really. What, did you think I have a master plan for everything? That would be exhausting. So, 300 posts. That's a lot of writing, right? This is only my 17th time taking over, if you can believe it. I hope you're not sick of me. Not because I care what you think, but because I know how to get revenge on people, so watch out. I mean, just ask my old friend Brian from high school. People started threatening him; he had to transfer schools. You don't want to end up like him, do you??
But anyway, blog posts! 300 sure seems like a lot, doesn't it? Although I'm sure a lot of you reading this blew past that number a long time ago. When you reach a milestone, it can be tricky figuring out what to do with it. You could make a huge deal about it, just casually mention it, or do nothing at all. When we hit 100 it was kind of a big deal, so that post featured 100 facts about my book (no I will not link you. I looked at it recently and like half the facts aren't even true anymore. But I guess that's what editing will do to you...). 200 wasn't such a big deal. This one's not that huge of a deal, either.
You can choose to celebrate milestones or anniversaries. Since we had a huge party last week for the 4th anniversary, it seemed silly to make a big deal about the 300th post just a week later. Plus it just happened to fall on my posting day and I sure as hell wasn't going to give it up. PLEASE.
But you love me, right? I kind of feel like a famous person already. We've got two guest posts/interviews coming up in the near future and one in the works. Well, ok, technically they're Sarah's posts, but my name comes up. Trust me. The third one, though, is all me. You're excited, I know. I'm sure she'll let you know when they happen. Because I'll be too busy.
Busy doing what, you may be wondering. Well, if you think about it, I pretty much only do four things. Actually, five if you count muse-type stuff (like writing this!). Who wants to play a game?! Guess the four things I do with my life. Whoever guesses right will receive a, um....a nice comment back! Not from me, though. I'm going to take a nap *hint hint*............
JP
04 May 2015
Jordan Takes Over: The Reluctant Co-host
**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**
Did you miss me?? Is everyone sleeping? Well, that's what I was doing all through April while all of you were losing your minds, so I'm all nice and refreshed! Anyone out there??
Anyway, if you were awake (or sane) enough to stop over here on Friday, you may have seen a certain announcement. We're throwing a party! Yay? Ok, look. Parties aren't really my thing. I don't have a great history with them (looooooooong story). So now I'm forced into not only going to one, but co-hosting it?!! Ugh.
But I'm not going to be the one who ruins everything. I'd need a good reason to do that. And I guess I'm not the most helpful of muses so I can at least help out with this. Plus it could be fun and not a disaster. Who knows? What I do know is that YOU (Yes, you. The one reading this right now.) should come! Why? So you can show off your muse and see how well you two would interact. Plus you get to come to a party! Normal people like that, right?
All right, so I'm gonna tell you all of the details in case you missed them. So if you want to come (because you do), here's what you have to do. The party is happening on Monday, May 25. You can bring your muse or one of your characters. On that day, answer the questions below on your blog.
1. Who is your muse (or character)? Tell us a little bit about him/her and why you brought them.
2. What are you guys wearing? Dressing up or keeping it casual?
3. It's a potluck! Did you bring something yummy?
4. Open bar! What are you both drinking (booze or otherwise)?
5. Wallflowers or social butterflies?
6. What song(s) will you and your muse sing for karaoke?
7. What's your favorite party game?
8. Which one of you is more likely to end up dancing on a table top?
9. Has your muse been a good date and would you ever hang out with them again?
That's pretty much it. I'll even make it easy for you and leave the sign up list below. Go on! You know you want to! You'll have a great time. Will I have a great time? Well, that's debatable. Let me guess! You all have chicks for muses so there aren't going to be any hot guys at this party. *longest sigh ever* I mean, I haven't made out with a girl since...well, since the last party I went to, actually. Weird. But! Don't think I didn't notice that there's going to be karaoke. I'm going to put all of you guys to shame. You've been warned.
All right, that's about it. Was I persuasive enough? I hope so. It's kinda my thing.
JP
Did you miss me?? Is everyone sleeping? Well, that's what I was doing all through April while all of you were losing your minds, so I'm all nice and refreshed! Anyone out there??
Anyway, if you were awake (or sane) enough to stop over here on Friday, you may have seen a certain announcement. We're throwing a party! Yay? Ok, look. Parties aren't really my thing. I don't have a great history with them (looooooooong story). So now I'm forced into not only going to one, but co-hosting it?!! Ugh.
But I'm not going to be the one who ruins everything. I'd need a good reason to do that. And I guess I'm not the most helpful of muses so I can at least help out with this. Plus it could be fun and not a disaster. Who knows? What I do know is that YOU (Yes, you. The one reading this right now.) should come! Why? So you can show off your muse and see how well you two would interact. Plus you get to come to a party! Normal people like that, right?
All right, so I'm gonna tell you all of the details in case you missed them. So if you want to come (because you do), here's what you have to do. The party is happening on Monday, May 25. You can bring your muse or one of your characters. On that day, answer the questions below on your blog.
1. Who is your muse (or character)? Tell us a little bit about him/her and why you brought them.
2. What are you guys wearing? Dressing up or keeping it casual?
3. It's a potluck! Did you bring something yummy?
4. Open bar! What are you both drinking (booze or otherwise)?
5. Wallflowers or social butterflies?
6. What song(s) will you and your muse sing for karaoke?
7. What's your favorite party game?
8. Which one of you is more likely to end up dancing on a table top?
9. Has your muse been a good date and would you ever hang out with them again?
That's pretty much it. I'll even make it easy for you and leave the sign up list below. Go on! You know you want to! You'll have a great time. Will I have a great time? Well, that's debatable. Let me guess! You all have chicks for muses so there aren't going to be any hot guys at this party. *longest sigh ever* I mean, I haven't made out with a girl since...well, since the last party I went to, actually. Weird. But! Don't think I didn't notice that there's going to be karaoke. I'm going to put all of you guys to shame. You've been warned.
All right, that's about it. Was I persuasive enough? I hope so. It's kinda my thing.
JP
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