My Magical Editing Hat

I've found an interesting and fun way to work on editing my book and busting out a third draft.

I finished my read-through of the second draft, marked it up with my red pen. I made cuts, added some things in, asked A LOT of questions in the margins. I made notes. I printed out all the emails from my beta reader and highlighted them. I was pretty sure everything that needed to be fixed was jotted down SOMEWHERE. I just wasn't sure how I wanted to start. I didn't want to go through like I did with the second draft, editing line by line, because that's really not necessary at this point. There are more big picture sort of things that I need to figure out, but the story itself doesn't really need to be rewritten. Some rearranging, some adding, some cutting, but not rewriting.

The first thing I did was open a new document and paste the
entire manuscript into it. I went through the whole thing page by page and put in all of my easy edits--all of the words I crossed out with my red pen. This took a few days but it was relatively easy. As for all of my comments and questions, I put those in as well, using the Comment feature under Review in Microsoft Word. Basically everything I wrote on my hard copy, I put into the digital one. Then I stared at it for a while, thinking, now what?

I didn't really feel like editing in order. Why? I don't really know, I just didn't. I hardly ever write things in order, either, so I wasn't surprised. There are some parts I'm really excited to edit, other parts I'm dreading (cough...sex scene...). I just had no idea which part to choose first. So I decided to leave it up to chance! I started cutting up little pieces of paper, folded them up, asked for one of my fiance's hats (he has a lot of stupid fedoras that he never wears but he gave me his Breaking Bad hat instead...) and voila! I had my magical editing hat!

How does it work? Well, each comment in the Word document is numbered, and there were 249 of them. Some are easy fixes--a quick rewrite of a sentence or paragraph, fixing some awkward wording. Some involve more thinking. Others involve complete scene overhauls. Each piece of paper in the hat corresponds with a comment. So I give the hat a shake, grab a piece of paper, and whatever number I get, that's the comment I have to work on.

But it's not just numbers. Oh, no. There are some bigger things that I didn't write in the margins of my manuscript. Figuring out the subplot, sneaking in certain moments or symbolism. So some of these pieces of paper contain a handwritten note instead, some requiring a free write about a certain character or rearranging a few scenes. Or I could get this one, requiring me to go through my LONG list of things to Ctrl+F and cut back on (364 "really"s. Really.)

Or I could get this one! Dun dun dun. 

It's working so far, except when I'm editing too late at night and pick a number that's too complicated to figure out, then just throw it back in the hat. It's fun, not knowing what I'll be editing next. I think it helps, too, to not be staring at the same page for hours trying to figure out how to fix a sentence. The back and forth keeps it refreshing, keeps my brain awake. Hopefully I can keep this up until I've gone through every little scrap of paper in that hat.

Jordan Takes Over: Finding the Right Word

**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**

I’m back, bitches! Did you miss me? I know, I know—I haven’t written a blog post in forever. And it’s not because of laziness (no matter what Sarah tells you) or anything. It’s just…well, the last time I did a post was sort of last minute and not all that thought out. And it kinda sucked, really. So basically if I don’t have a good idea, I’m not gonna write a post every month, even if a certain someone starts kicking me. Yeah, ok, she kicks. But I bite.

Anyway! Today we’re gonna talk about word choice. Sometimes it’s easy, other times, not so much. Sometimes when you picture a scene, the words will just pop into your head without any effort at all (and on behalf of all the muses—you’re welcome). Other times you can struggle for hours just trying to get one sentence out (we really don't have anything to do with that...). 

What I really want to talk about is finding a word that works. One that fits with the scene you’re writing as well as the voice of the character (or the narrator if you’re using third person). Sometimes these two things don’t coincide. You may come up with the absolute, most perfect word ever to describe what is happening, but then realize that your narrator would never use this word—he may not even know this word exists. So then what? Do you leave that word in and hope no one notices—that the reader will suspend their disbelief about your narrator’s vocabulary?

Chances are that word is going to stick out like a sore thumb (wait…do sore thumbs stick out? Who came up with that phrase?). You want your voice to be authentic, because even if one word feels off, the reader is going to notice, and it’s going to take them out of the story. You want them to be so engulfed in your story that they forget that they’re reading one. And if they hit one of those words like a bump in the road, it will hit them: “Oh, right. This isn’t real.”

So how do you fix this problem? Well, first of all, you have to know your narrator. You have to know how he or she speaks and what sort of words and phrases will be believable for them. Once you have the voice developed enough, it should come naturally to you. But if you have a bigger vocabulary than your narrator, from time to time, you might come up with a sentence that maybe you would say but your narrator wouldn’t. That sentence may seem perfect for the situation, and it probably is, but if it doesn’t also fit your narrator’s voice, it isn’t going to work.

Example? I thought you’d never ask! So in my book, I’m fifteen and so I don’t have too many fancy words that I would use. But when miss writer lady was writing a particular sentence, the perfect word seemed to be “pretense.” Here’s what the sentence started out as: “I just wanted to strip away all of our clothing and pretense until all that was left was him and me, nothing in between.” Uh, right. Like I would ever use that word. In theory, it was perfect—a noun meaning pretending or make-believe. If you have pretense, then you’re faking something. That was the point she was trying to make—that the characters were pretending, faking—that this act was what was keeping them apart.

But that word just didn’t fit. It felt off. It was something I would never say. So we went to the thesaurus. It wasn’t much help. Charade, act, façade. Nothing seemed to fit both what she was trying to say and the voice of the narrator. Which isn’t to say that the thesaurus can’t be your best friend. We’ve found plenty of alternative words when she came up with some big, fancy schmancy word that I would never use. But sometimes, you’re gonna have to do a bit more thinking, which is exactly what we had to do. We had to let that pretense sit there for weeks—months, even—before finding the answer. Really, sometimes the best thing you can do is to just walk away. Keep writing. Perfect the voice a little more. Get inside the narrator’s head a little more. Write him or her in different situations. And then maybe when you go back to that imperfect phrase, the perfect word will slap you in the face.

And that’s exactly what happened. Because the perfect alternative for “pretense” in this particular sentence turned out to be…drumroll please…BULLSHIT. I’m serious. Here, look at it now: “I just wanted to strip away all of our clothing and bullshit until all that was left was him and me, nothing in between.” Sounds better, right? Less awkward? Like something I’d actually say? Honestly, I think it gets the point across even better than “pretense.”

So trust your narrator and trust your gut. If you think a word is wrong, it probably is, and if you notice it, your readers probably will, too.

See you next month! Maybe.

JP

Some Minor Insecurities

It's that time again! The first Wednesday of every month is the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group. Click the link to visit Alex J. Cavanaugh's blog and learn more!

Well, I can't sleep, so I figured I would get this done now. I'm actually sitting in the empty bathtub with my laptop since my fiance is sleeping and I would wake him up with all of this typing. Oh, how I wish for two rooms.

I think I'm slightly insecure over several things right now. Not majorly insecure, just slightly.

I'm thinking of going to the Cape Cod Writers Conference in August. I don't know. I'm not very good at interacting with people. I can picture myself just going to the workshops and then sitting in my car for the rest of it. It would also cost a lot of money that I probably shouldn't spend, and it falls on my birthday weekend so I would be there the entire day. I was excited about it at first, but the more I think about it, the more I feel like I don't want to go, or that I shouldn't.

I finished my read through/ marking up with a red pen of the second draft a few hours ago, which means I have to start my final (hopefully) rewrite of Uneven Lines. This is kind of scary, for several reasons. First, I have to actually get it done. I have to fix all of the problems. I have to rewrite that damn sex scene (which will NOT be vague, I have decided after an email discussion with my only beta reader. Basically all of my fears about the buildup not being released would definitely be true if I were to make it vague). I should probably get a few more beta readers, you know, real ones, since all of my friend/coworker readers never said anything, not even that they read it at all (there's an insecurity all on its own!). I have to rip apart the subplot and figure out what the hell it's doing there. And I really want to get this done within a month. I want to get queries out (scary!). I want to actually do something with this book because I feel like I've been working on it my entire life (ok, not really).

I have to clean my apartment because I have a friend coming over this weekend. I have to figure out something to cook that I won't ruin! And dessert! Cupcakes? I always make cupcakes...

Anyway, I think I would stay up all night writing if it weren't so damn hot in the bathroom with the door closed. Off to bed.

My Week Without TV

I came to a horrible realization on Saturday night: since I quit my job, I've gained five pounds. I thought after I left, I would immediately start losing weight because I ate the food at my work almost every day and it is not good for you. After I started at that job, I eventually gained 30 pounds (I've lost about ten of that...er...five...). My horrible will power can be a discussion for another day. I figured out my problem immediately--while I've stopped eating the work food, my eating habits haven't gotten all that better. I have a tendency to snack all day, which isn't helped by the fact that I'm home all of the time. My job also required a lot of movement, being on my feet for eight straight hours, and breaking a sweat on most shifts.

Basically I don't move anymore. Even when I am being productive, that means sitting on my bed with my laptop (or my awesome blue binder) in my lap checking out blogs and getting some editing done. The most I do is when I occasionally have to run errands or do the laundry.

So yes, I need to get up and move. I need to eat better. But there's something else that is both promoting my laziness and keeping me from being as productive as I'd like. TV. I just watch waaaaaaaaaay too much of it. Most of the time it's not even necessary. If I watched just the shows I like that have new episodes right now, it would only take up a few hours every week. But that is not all I watch. I have the TV on ALL THE TIME. Do you know how easy it is to get caught up in a Law & Order marathon? It's kind of ridiculous how much TV I watch. I've also developed a bad habit where I have to be watching TV if I'm eating.

So here's my plan: for one week, starting now until next Monday morning, I'm not going to watch TV. I may even have my fiance hide the remote or take the batteries to work with him. I'm also going to try and exercise every day. I think I will get SO MUCH DONE without the TV on. More time for editing, reading, writing new stuff. I can concentrate better when there's silence. I also think there's a good possibility I won't snack as much, since I usually associate eating with watching TV. And it's hard to hold a book while eating, but guess what, I have a Kindle! I can actually sit at the table and READ instead of watching TV while I eat.

So we'll see how it goes. Remember how I said I have horrible will power? I'm hoping I can work past it and get a lot done this week. Wish me luck!

The Silly Sex Scene

I'm running out of titles for this topic...

This is something that bothers me on a daily basis. Because I've now written the sex scene twice--no, three times (once in the short story), and I still can't quite figure it out. You'd think it would be for the obvious reasons, that I'm a chick writing a m/m scene, but no, that's not it. I can picture the scene in my head perfectly. I have all the technical details figured out (for the most part, whether I wrote them well is another thing entirely). I also know why it's necessary for my characters to have sex in the first place. What's bothering me is the detail.

Or more specifically, how much detail. None of the ways I've written this scene feel quite right. Which makes me think I've included too much detail. At least up until this point, I've always figured the sex scene should be at least somewhat graphic, not erotica, per se, but more technically detailed, not really leaving anything to the imagination (with emotions and thought process thrown in as well, of course). I had two reasons for writing it this way. One is that there are several sexual situations throughout the book that are very detailed, so I thought being vague in the sex scene wouldn't match up with the rest of the book. The other reason is that you kind of spend the whole book waiting to see if the characters actually will have sex. I worry that there's so much buildup that if I don't pay off that buildup with at least some detail, it will disappoint the reader.

But I still can't really figure out why I can't write this scene in a way that feels right. I'm starting to feel like I'll never get it right. I'm thinking of scrapping every draft of it and starting from scratch. I'm even considering making it EXTREMELY vague, because I think this might work better from a thematic standpoint. But I'm not sure. I swear, I think about this scene so much it makes me feel like a pervert! But I still can't figure it out!

Ok, I know I'm losing it and rambling. This will probably be the very last thing I edit for the third draft. And it will just drive me nuts until then.

Character Consistency

When you’re crafting the characters in your stories, you want them to be realistic. This doesn’t mean that they have to be boring; it just means that the reader has to believe that this person could exist, even if they’ve never met anyone like them before. Not every character is going to be some 9-5 cubicle working, nuclear family kind of guy. Just because you’ve never met a bounty hunter or a pirate or a wizard doesn’t mean these aren’t great characters to use. What’s really important is making sure that once you’ve established your characters, they have to act like themselves.

No two people are exactly alike. Everyone has their own way of thinking and acting—their own habits, nervous ticks, catch phrases. Sure, there can be similarities—my sister and I have a lot of the same facial expressions, or my fiance and I have a lot (A LOT) of inside jokes—but everyone does their own thing.

One of the things to note is how each character speaks. You wouldn’t want everyone to sound the same. A younger character might use more slang, swears, and contractions than an older person would. Some people may talk in fragments, others in long, drawn out sentences. A shy person might litter their words with things like “uh” and “um.” A teenager might have a limited vocabulary, whereas someone like a teacher or English major would probably have a vast knowledge of fancy words they regularly use. Think of a basic sentence that a character might say, something like, “I got lost because you gave me bad directions.” Now rewrite that sentence as if each one of your characters was saying it. You’d probably write it differently for each character (I know at least one of my characters would sneak an f-bomb or two in a sentence like that). One character might be timid, another might be screaming. If you find each character says the sentence in the exact same way, then maybe they don’t have distinct voices.

You also want to watch for different physical characteristics that are true to each character. I was going through a chapter of my second draft when I came across a very simple sentence—“He grinned.” You usually wouldn’t think twice about a sentence like that, right? Well, it just didn’t sit right with me. I circled the “grinned” with my red pen and scribbled next to it: “I don’t think [he] grins. Ever.” I’d have to do a search to be certain, but I’m pretty sure there are no other instances where this character grins. He’s more of a shy smile kind of guy. There’s another character, though, who does grin all the time (probably too much—but that’s what editing is for!). See, each character has his own set of facial expressions and characteristics. Think about what works for each character. One may bite her lip when she’s nervous, another may flare his nostrils when he’s mad. Just make sure each action fits the personality of your character.

As always, consistency is key. Make sure your characters act like themselves, and don’t let that grin sneak in.

It's Beastly Blitz Day!

Today I’m helping to spread the word on an awesome new book written by an awesome blogger! I met Tara through this year’s A to Z Challenge and I love checking out her blog posts. And her book release day is finally here! I’ve always loved reading and writing fantasy, no matter how much I (or my muse) try to ignore it, so I can’t wait to read this book. Maybe in time for my first “Hey, I Read Your Book” post, right? Check it out!

BROKEN BRANCH FALLS (MG Fantasy)
by Tara Tyler
Release Date: June 24, 2014 - TODAY!!
B&N ~~~ Amazon
Publisher: Curiosity Quills

Gabe is an average fifteen-year-old goblin. He’s in the marching band, breezes through calculus, and gets picked on daily by the other kids at school, especially the ogres. But Gabe wants to break out of his nerdy stereotype and try other things. He has his eye on the new ogress at school. Though it’s against all beastly rules, there’s just something about her.

Gabe starts a fad of mingling with other species, forcing the High Council to step in and ruin things by threatening to destroy the school and split up Broken Branch Falls. With help from other outcast friends, Gabe sets out on a quest to save his town. They'll show 'em what different friends can do together!

Add it to your GOODREADS list!

Tara Tyler has had a hand at everything from waitressing to rocket engineering. After living up and down the Eastern US, she now writes and teaches math in Ohio with her three active boys and Coach Husband. Currently, she has two series, The Cooper Chronicles (techno-thriller detective capers) and Beast World (MG fantasy) She's an adventure writer who believes every good story should have action, a moral, and a few laughs!

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Also by Tara Tyler, techno-thriller detective series,

The Cooper Chronicles, Book One: POP TRAVEL

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