Day 3 of the Freaky Name Coincidences

Last one, I swear...until something like this happens again...My brain doesn't seem to want to work today, so I'll try to make this short, and then go make a second cup of coffee.

What's in a Middle Name?

I've always given my characters middle names. It's one of those fun little facts that probably won't even show up in any book, but makes the character feel like a real person. So when I started writing Uneven Lines, I wanted to come up with middle names for my characters.

I actually came up with the middle name for the second most important character, Tom, first. Apart from also liking sexually ambiguous names, I also like names that can be shortened in different ways (I had a character named Drew in the fantasy book I used to work on, his first name actually being Andrew). I like to have the character's whole name--first, middle, and last--flow nicely together. I pulled "James" out of thin air for this character and I liked it. Not with Tom, obviously--too short--but with Thomas. Thomas James Callahan. I liked it. So I moved on.

It took me forever to come up with Jordan's middle name (you'd think he would just tell me, but nooooooo). I didn't want to settle for anything that didn't feel perfect. At some point I knew I wanted it to start with an M (it just felt right). I went through lists of boys' M names over and over and over again, trying to find the right one. Eventually I stumbled upon "Mason." I liked it--it seemed different, unique. I came up with an entire back story for why that would be his middle name--it was actually his grandfather's first name and would have been his first name if his mom didn't throw a fit (she was only 15 when he was born). She hates her family, so she hates her son's middle name. Will any of this be in the book? Of course not, but it's fun to come up with these little details. So now my main character had a full name: Jordan Mason Palmer.

You'd think that would be the end of it, but no, of course not. For a brief moment, I thought about their middle names at the same time. Wait a second, I thought...why does that sound so familiar?

I pulled up the IMDb app on my phone, and then literally facepalmed. Of course! James Mason. The actor! And what role do I know him best in...? Humbert Humbert in the film adaptation of Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita, one of my favorite novels of all time. And one giant source of inspiration for this particular novel I'm working on. My heart skipped a beat when I work-shopped the original short story and one of my classmates described it as a "gay, backwards Lolita." Plot-wise, of course--not meaning it was anywhere near as good as Lolita. At all. But anyway...

It happened again! Something weird about my character's names. As with the other freaky occurrences, I left the names the way they were. No one was ever going to know my character's middle names, anyway, and if they did, maybe they would notice and think I did it on purpose.

Yeah, right! I find the universe is usually more in control of things than I am.

Day 2 of the Freaky Name Coincidences

Back for more, huh? Did you see my new profile picture?! I love it, and you know how much I hate pictures of myself, so that's saying a lot! My old picture was over three years old so I figured it was a time for a change. I still have the same glasses, though...

So here is the next post in my Week of Freaky Name Coincidences. This one is originally from January, 2012. Also, I should point out that I absolutely love sexually ambiguous names. I have no idea why. I'll probably give them to any children I have, but for now I'll settle for my characters...

What's in a Sexually Ambiguous Name? 

Let me preface this by saying that the “What’s in a Name” blog was not supposed to be a two-parter. But as usual, things are beyond my control. Believe me, I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

I had a new character to name. Since she was only going to appear in one chapter (and in a quick cameo near the end of the book), she wasn’t all that important on the grand scale of things. But in the chapter itself, she was very important. I call her the “Last Straight Temptation of Jordan Palmer,” since he almost has sex with her before deciding that he’d rather lose his virginity to a guy.

Within this chapter, she’s a very striking character. Almost like the female counterpart to Jordan, an adversary even. She shows up suddenly, challenges his attitudes, his beliefs, and serves as a temporary temptation. Basically, she doesn’t put up with his bullshit, which he finds incredibly sexy, and her desire for him may or may not be completely based on getting revenge on another girl, so he finds that intriguing. So at least for this scene, this girl was important, and to give her some dignity, I had to name her.

Since I started writing my novel in early 2011, I have it stuck in my head that this is when it takes place, so I figured this 15-year-old girl was born in 1995. So I cruised the internet to my favorite name site, behindthename.com, and found the list of popular names in 1995. I scrolled past the typical names—Jessica, Ashley, Emily, Brittany, and my own name, which was #5—in search of a name that spoke to me.

My eyes stopped on #29: Madison. I liked it instantly. And not just because it was different than all of those stereotypical girl names, but because, like Jordan, the name could be either a boy’s or a girl’s. It seemed kind of perfect, to put both characters on the same level and watch them butt heads.

That would have been the end of it—the decision had already been made—but curiosity got the better of me. To the left of the list of girls’ names were the top 100 boys’ names for that year as well. I’m not sure what made me look at it at all. Some force of nature, it seemed, because then I just happened to see #29 on the boys’ side. It was Jordan. Those two names had been standing side by side the entire time, and I hadn’t even noticed. Madison was even more perfect than I had thought.

I can’t really explain why these things keep happening to me. I just kind of go with it. I’m sure someday I’ll be writing Part Three…

Like on Friday! Come back to check out the strange coincidence with my main characters’ middle names…

#PitchWars Mentee Bio!

A quick little interruption to this week's themed posts, because I just found out this was a thing! I just finished my Pitch Wars submission this afternoon, so I figured I would put up a bio that my potential mentors can see. Check out the list of other mentee bios here!  I pretty much just slapped this thing together in about twenty minutes. Here goes!

About Me

I just turned 27 a little over a week ago. I live in a tiny studio apartment above a movie theater with my cat and my fiancé, who is a stand-up comedian. I can be extremely obsessive about things. I’m a straight chick who writes a lot of m/m fiction. I love cupcakes, Broadway musicals, and generally being a hermit.

My Writing History

I started out writing and drawing a picture book series about mice when I was 8. Yes, mice. There was the king mouse, fairy godmother mouse, astronaut mouse…you get it. When I was a teenager, I used to write all fantasy, all the time. I was all about vampires and pretty much worshiped Anne Rice. I also wore way too much eyeliner. In college, I took two semesters of fiction writing courses where we wrote short stories. The thing is, I’m not really that good at writing short stories. All of my ideas are always too big. The classes left me jaded and with no good writing to show for it. I switched to poetry for most of my college career after that, until…In my last semester I took one more fiction course, because I thought, why the hell not? For that class, I wrote a short story that would eventually become my novel, Uneven Lines. Creating this story turned me onto writing gay fiction, and I haven’t looked back. Most of my other novel ideas fall into this genre, but really, almost all of my creativity is spent working on this particular novel. If I could find a common thread in all of the novels I’ve worked on, I’d say I like to write about teenagers who find themselves in very adult situations.

My Muse

When I started writing my novel, I fell head over heels in love with the narrator, Jordan. Yes, he’s 15. And gay. It’s not like that. He decided to live inside my brain and has been hanging out there ever since (over 3 years now!).  He yells at me inspires me to be passionate about my writing, and I’ve never cared more for a piece of my writing than I do for this book. He’s a snarky little bastard (literally) who I let write a guest post here on my blog once a month. He gives a muse’s perspective and usually tells people what to do. Check out his posts here.

Reasons Why You Would Want to Read My Book!

I feel like being vague with this, so here’s a jumbled list:

Lots of moral ambiguity. Masturbation with lemon bars. Flirting while solving a geometric proof. Erection causing cupcakes. Sexy scenes that you don’t want find sexy but you do. The more than occasional but not overused f-bomb. Vague references to cannibalism that most people won’t even notice. Chapter 17 will make you want to punch me in the face. Eric is probably the coolest person ever.  Ephebophilia. Teenage pregnancy. Making out on the kitchen floor while baking chocolate chip cookies. And of course, my darling Jordan.

  

Well, that's it. Thanks for checking out my bio! 

The Week of Freaky Name Coincidences!

So this week’s posts are a slight copout. Just a slight one, I swear! I was thinking recently about some older posts on my blog that didn’t get a lot of page views since they were written when I had about five blog followers. Should I repost some of the good ones? I’m still not entirely sure, but there were two posts in particular that had a common theme, and I’ve had a third one in the back of my mind that I've never written, so I thought, why not revisit them first?

So this week is dedicated to the freaky name coincidences that have happened to me when working on my novels. I’ve learned that when it comes to naming characters, sometimes you have no choice in the matter. Sometimes weird things happen.

This first post was from September 2011 (yikes!). I’ve tweaked it a bit because I felt some of the statements about my characters were no longer true (and it was waaaaaay too long). But anyway, here it is:

What’s in a Last Name?

Finding a name for a character can sometimes be excruciating. I can spend hours looking over baby name websites or trying to find different meanings and etymology, just trying to find that one perfect gem of a name that will sum up the entire character. Every once in a while, though, I don’t have to do research or make a list of names to choose from. Sometimes a character’s name simply pops into my head without me even having to think about it at all. I find this usually happens when I’ve created a story that I’m very passionate about, one that I won’t be able to let go. I think it’s because these characters are special to me, almost as if they’re real, so of course they already have names.

But in the case of two characters, something even stranger happened when I tried to give them last names.  

When I was fourteen, I started a fantasy novel called Bleeding Life, which I would go on to write three times and eventually be forced to shelve for various reasons. I feel it will always be in the back of mind until I actually finish it. When I was creating the characters, eventually I had decided upon every single detail about them, including middle and last names. But something didn’t sit right with me about my narrator, Amber’s last name—Johnson. It was too boring, too generic. I decided to change it.

Back in those days, I decided on last names by flipping blindly through a phone book. If I liked the name I found, I went with it. So, the logical next move was to go back and pick a new last name for Amber. I grabbed the phone book and closed my eyes, thumbed through the pages and opened the book in my lap. I ran my finger down the page and stopped, opening my eyes. My finger was pointing directly at “Johnson.” After a few seconds of shock, I slammed the phone book shut and put it away. There was obviously no fighting this. I had given Amber a specific identity, and to change it now would mean changing who she was as a character. And she had other plans in mind.

For my current obsession WIP, Uneven Lines, I had another strange occurrence when trying to figure out a last name for my narrator, Jordan (you know him, right? He hangs out around here…). When I first started developing the novel, I had it floating in the back of my head that his last name would be Palmer. I wasn’t quite committed to it, but it was the only name that had stuck even a little bit. I figured I could keep searching, maybe find something better.

But one day my boyfriend was driving me home, and I was sort of idly looking at street signs on the left side of the road when we came across a street named Jordan Dr. “Oh, haha,” I mused to myself. “I want to live there!” As we drove on, I was already forgetting about it when we came across the next street sign: Palmer St. I did a sort of double take as we zoomed past. It was like a moment of clarity. You see? the universe was saying. You were right all along! Don’t go around changing what’s already perfect!

Were both of these instances a coincidence? I don’t like to think so. The circumstances were just too strange, that I Just happened to be looking at street signs that day, that my finger just happened to land on that particular spot in the phone book. So yes, on some level I believe that these characters haven taken control of their own existences. If I try to change them, the universe will find some way to show me that I’m wrong. And ultimately, it’s all about trusting my first instincts, even if it’s only for a name. 

Anything strange like this ever happen to you? Be sure to come back on Wednesday for the next freaky name coincidence! 

FLESH EATING ZOMBIES AND EVIL EX-GIRLFRIENDS Cover Reveal!

**Ok, usually, the ONE thing I can't do is...zombies! They freak me out. But this book sounds AWESOME. It just might convert me. Congrats, Rachel!**

It's cover reveal day for FLESH EATING ZOMBIES AND EVIL EX-GIRLFRIENDS!

I'm so excited to share it with all of you! It's creepy and dark and just right for the book.

So without further ado, here it is!

Erwin is in hell--- Locked in his high school with his ex-girlfriend, her new pain-in-the-ass boyfriend, and a handful of others while zombies claw at the doors trying to fight their way in.

The bright light in the dark is Sylvia, whose strength helps hold Erwin together

when everything is falling apart.

When they realize the school is no longer safe,

Erwin is determined to keep the group together and get them all to safety.

But he can’t save everyone.

Release day is September 17th.

Don't forget to add it to your Goodreads list!

Query Letter Panic Attack Mode

I'll make this quick since I've been awake since about 3 AM and already my phone's screen froze and had me cursing and stomping around in the dark because what else can you do at 3 AM besides play games on your phone? It's all fixed now, but I'm already frustrated, tired, and not feeling very optimistic about today. But anyway...

So last night I decided to finally stop procrastinating and checked out what Pitch Wars is all about, and well...I'm totally going to do it! But after making that decision, I immediately went into panic mode. Choosing mentors was fun...I still need to narrow down my list, but this is really the easy part, I think. The hard part is that I have to write a query letter! And I'm kinda stressing out.

The good news is that I have until just before midnight on August 18th to get it done. The better news is that my first chapter (which I also need to submit) is already edited, although I'll probably give it a few rereads before submitting. But just the thought of writing my query letter is making me nervous. I've never actually written one. I have a blurb for my manuscript, but it's not perfect. It's a start, but I still have a lot of work to do.

So that's my goal for the day--to work on this query! And possibly the sex scene, too, since I got a few ideas while I couldn't sleep and couldn't use my phone...but I feel like I say I'm going to work on that everyday, so we'll see how it goes.

If somebody has query tips, or would just like to bring me a paper bag to breathe into, well that would be fantastic.

Over-thinking It

First of all--holy crap! I didn't know a day of blogging could make you exhausted, but then last Wednesday happened. My IWSG post had the most views and comments that I've ever had (as of today, 61 comments! 61!), and since I spent the whole day also visiting dozens and dozens of other blogs, I had to sleep in the next day and on Friday I was kind of burnt out so I didn't even write a blog post. I also really appreciate everyone's thoughts and advice on my setting/research insecurities. The general consensus pretty much went along with what I felt in my gut in the first place--keep doing research but ultimately, be true to the story. The details I was worried about shouldn't be enough to have anyone calling me out on it.

So it seems that I over-think things. A lot. I suppose that's better than NOT thinking about things, since at least I'm paying attention to the details in my own story, but if you do it too much, it can weigh you down to the point where you're not getting anything done.

My problem right now is that I'm over-thinking my entire editing process. I've tried several different techniques (the editing hat!) to try to organize myself, and it just doesn't seem to work. I don't feel like I'm getting anything done. And yes, part of that is just making myself sit down and actually do the work, but when I actually do sit down, I don't even know where to start.

I spend more time thinking about editing than actually doing it. And I don't mean brainstorming, productive type of thinking. Trying to figure out what to do usually just leads to frustration and eventually giving up. But NOT working on it makes me even more frustrated. And if I go too long without doing any writing, it usually leads to depression, which makes it harder to start writing again. So it's a vicious cycle.

Maybe my underlying problem is being indecisive. I really just need to sit down and pick something to work on. Anything. Rewriting particular sentences I didn't like. Working on the subplot. Searching for words I overused and cutting them. Rearranging scenes in a chapter. I just need to pick something and not actually think about it. Usually I get too caught up in it, for example--if I choose to do the search and cut thing, I'll think to myself, well, what if I end up cutting this scene later? Aren't I wasting my time right now? Or I'll think, I can't work on this part until I figure out this other part, but that other part is really hard so I don't want to work on it right now.

I think I get so caught up in thinking about editing that it gets frustrating to the point where I don't want to work on it at all. I really just need to stop thinking about it, and just do it. So that's what I'm going to try today. We'll see how it goes.