When Does Bitterness Leave?

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click the link to learn more and sign up!

I noticed something trending on Twitter the other day that made my stomach turn: Pitch Wars. "UGH" was my immediate response. 

Honestly, writing-wise, doing Pitch Wars was the biggest mistake I ever made. There's a part of me that wants to rant and scream and tell everyone I possibly can not to do it. But I think the odds of someone else having my exact experience are actually very slim: first, having a controversial story, then having an a-hole mentor send unnecessarily cruel feedback on just your first chapter, and also being the kind of person who is prone to depression and anxiety and will let this sort of thing eat away at you. On the other hand, seeing as how there's roughly a 10% chance of getting picked if you enter, I also feel like it's just a giant waste of time. So in the best case scenario, you're still going to be disappointed. 

I wish I didn't let things get to me so much. It's not the first time I've been bullied. It definitely won't be the last time my writing will be critiqued (although I feel if my book was already published I would handle it in a completely different way). But at what point do you stop grinding your teeth when you hear something mentioned? When does that bitterness go away? When I think of something that happened in the past that still leaves me feeling bitter, the thought usually passes fairly quickly. You get over it eventually. Maybe just because Pitch Wars wasn't so long ago, it's still bugging me.

Or maybe it's just because it's kept me from writing. I hate the fact that it's almost been a year since I've really written anything. I've come up with a ton of ideas on how to edit my book, but I haven't actually done any of them. I hate when people tell me it's ok to take a break, because it's just been way too long. But every time I think about working on my book, I just wonder--what's the point? If everyone's going to hate this story and hate me for writing it, why should I bother? But I can't let it go because I've put so much effort into it and I think there's something there that people just aren't able to see yet.

So I guess I just need to try to make people see it. Nothing is ever going to happen if I don't start writing again. That's probably what I need to do to get over the experience. Nothing would be a bigger "f you" than being successful. If I don't write, then they win.

Jordan Takes Over: The Voices in Your Head

**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**

First of all, let me just set a few things straight here. If Sarah is telling you I have a boyfriend, IT'S A LIE. Because A) that's not my thing (I mean commitment, not guys...keep up with me, people!), and B) technically I'm only 19 and I don't get together with this guy until we're 22. So there. Plus, hello spoilers! Oh, who am I kidding? By the time Book 3 gets published (assuming it does) you'll forget all about this. In that case, let me tell you...

OH I'M KIDDING. Relax. But anyway, this leads me to today's topic: having multiple characters telling you what to do. It can be extremely difficult when you're being pulled in too many directions by several different ideas or characters. Who do you listen to (uh, me, hello?)? Which idea is more important? Is it just the voice that seems the loudest?

I guess it depends on how many voices and where they're coming from. If you've got several different book ideas going on in your head at once and a strong urge to work on all of them, it can lead to trouble. You'll probably get things mixed up--characters showing up in the wrong book, things like magic or aliens popping into your contemporary romance. Just imagine the chaos if you took all of your book ideas and combined them into one. Scary, right?

So the easiest thing to do is work on one book at a time. I know, I know, easier said than done. I'm not saying you can't jump back and forth. But give one book a good amount of time and attention before you switch gears. Maybe wait for the inspiration to run out and then switch to get it going again.

But you've also got the issue of different characters within the same book or series pulling you in different directions. Maybe you've got minor characters wanting to be more important. Or maybe ideas from every book in your series are hitting you at once. If the characters are the same, it probably won't be as confusing to work on more than one. But if you're throwing your attention everywhere at once, is every piece you're writing going to come out perfect?

Ok, so maybe the easiest thing to say is that listening to the loudest voice is probably the right way to go. Whatever idea, character, scene, book, whatever, is occupying your thoughts the most is the one that you should be working on. Then if you finish that idea, that voice in your head may actually shut up and you can move on to the next one. If you're lucky.

So maybe I'm not always the loudest voice. It probably just means I'm sleeping.

JP

Not Feeling It Today

I think I've used that blog title before...

Yeah, so that flash fiction I talked about posting didn't happen. See what happens when I promise things? I'm just not gonna say anything about it until it's actually done. But I will post it on a Friday. Because that's what people do, right?

The thing is, I don't really feel like blogging about anything else. I kinda don't feel like doing anything at all. I'm having a bit of a life crisis, worrying about money, having trouble sleeping. I'm gonna have to get a real job soon because my savings is running out and I can't make enough with my freelance stuff to pay all the bills. I really wanted to wait until we moved to get a job but I just don't think there's enough time. We still haven't figured out when we're moving, either. So I'm screwed, basically. I was supposed to get so much more done in the time since I quit my job and I just haven't.

Maybe I should have saved this rant for IWSG! Oh well. I'm off to try to earn some money...

Gabriel Release & Review!

Earlier this week, the final book in Patricia Josephine's Path of Angels series, Gabriel, was released! I really enjoyed this series, so you should definitely check it out. Take it away, Patricia!

What’s in a name?

Gabriel
Angelic Messenger
Gabriel, an archangel and one of the two highest ranking angels in Judeo-Christian and Islamic lore. Her name means "strength of God". She is a unique archangel in the sense that it is almost certain she is the only female angel in the higher echelons, although some believe there are no female angels. Gabriel fosters joy, truth, justice and love. She grants wisdom in interpreting our dreams and visions.

Well, in Path of Angels Gabe is a guy and would probably be grumpy to read this. He is all about justice though. Love, he wants it for sure, but isn't very open about it. He's really a big grouch.

*   *   *

The end is in sight.

To stop Uriel from freeing Lucifer, Gabriel and his brothers must fall and go to Hell. It is a sacrifice Gabriel is not entirely ready to make. Will he fight alongside his brothers or forge his own path? There is only one choice.

Alexander doesn’t want to help Uriel nor does he trust him, but the angel has promised him a better life. He swore to protect Charlie, and he’ll do whatever it takes. When he meets the archangels and learns the depth of Uriel’s lies, he understands the true meaning of sacrifice. If there’s any hope of stopping Lucifer from being freed, Alexander, Charlie, Zephyr and Lake will have to get to Hell and help Gabriel and his brothers in the fight against Uriel.

The path is finally ending, but the price may be too high.

Check it out on Amazon and Goodreads!

About the Author:

Patricia Josephine never set out to become a writer. In fact, she never considered it an option during
high school and college. She was all about art. On a whim, she wrote down a story bouncing in her head. That was the start of it and she hasn't regretted a moment. She writes young adult under the name Patricia Lynne.

Patricia lives with her husband in Michigan, hopes one day to have what will resemble a small petting zoo, has a fondness for dying her hair the colors of the rainbow, and an obsession with Doctor Who.

Twitter | Website | Google+ | Wattpad | Goodreads

Path of Angels

Sarah's Review:

The final book in the Path of Angels series focuses on the last archangel, Gabriel, while also wrapping up the overall plot line that has run through all of the books. Gabriel and his brothers must fall and go to hell in order to stop Uriel from freeing Lucifer. Gabriel’s struggle was really interesting to see: his anger seems to be the thing that sets him apart from his brothers. He doesn’t want to fall and really doesn’t even want to follow the path at all. He just wants his normal life back, but eventually comes to realize that this is impossible. That’s when Alexander and Charlie come in. They have a very sweet relationship—Alexander doesn’t really want to follow Uriel but it’s the only way he can protect Charlie. When they meet Gabriel, they are both drawn to him and the three of them see that they were meant to find one another. The polyamorous relationship was an interesting twist that I enjoyed. I wish they were able to have more time together, but with Gabriel fallen, he and his brothers must continue on their path. The angels’ loved ones play a much larger role than anyone expected, and they must also travel to hell to help stop Uriel. I won’t give away the ending, but I will say it did make me a little sad—but I also understand why it had to be that way. Overall, a great ending to the series!

(I'm not sure if I can call my reviews "mini" anymore...they always come out longer than I intend. Maybe next time I'll learn to use paragraph breaks...)

All Screwed Up

I'm totally off my game today. I know, I know, when exactly am I on my game? But it's past noon and I still don't have this blog post done. I was up late last night so slept in too much this morning. My fiance is off work today so that's throwing me off. It feels like a weekend. We just got back from the gym, so my usual 8:45 shower was an 11:45 shower. I haven't had any coffee or food so I'm starting to lose my sanity, I think.

I also wanted to do a lot of writing this weekend but that definitely did not happen. What I did was watch a whole lot of Harry Potter. I really wanted to get some work done on the first chapter for UL, because now I'm thinking it might be easier to edit in order? Or at least try. Really, I should just work on whatever part is inspiring me the most and to stop avoiding it altogether. Getting anything done at this point would be great. Rewriting a random sentence in any chapter would at least be progress. But no. Still avoiding looking at it.

I kinda sorta have a plan for the rest of the week. I've got a book review to post on Wednesday (that's assuming I get it done...but I did finish the book, at least!). And then maybe on Friday I'll post a piece of flash fiction. Well, it may be too long to be called flash fiction (I'm new at this...) but short enough for a blog post, at least. Adam has been chewing on my brains lately so I've been working on a little something from his point of view (CURSE HIM). He's probably got Jordan tied up somewhere...who is probably enjoying it. Of course, telling you that I'll post something has probably squashed all possibility that I will actually get it done in time. We'll see.

All right, I'm gonna go take a deep breath and have some coffee. In the meantime, here's a picture of my cat being ridiculous:

Cherished Blogfest

Today I'm taking part in the Cherished Blogfest, hosted by Dan Antion, Paul Ruddock, Peter Nena, Sharukh Bamboat, Tom Benson, and Damyanti Ghosh. The idea is to talk about one of our cherished objects. Tell us what it is, post a picture of it if you like, and tell us why you cherish it.

The object I want to talk about popped into my head right away, well probably because it's always on my finger--my engagement ring. While you may think the reason for cherishing this object would be pretty obvious, it's actually a bit more complex.

This ring actually belonged to my grandmother, but I never met her. She passed away when my mom was 10 years old. My grandfather eventually remarried and we always considered my step-grandmother to be our grandmother because she was the only one we knew. I remember when I was little my grandparents gave the ring to my mother, and she wore it every day because it belonged to her mother and was special to her.

When my mom passed away two years ago, my sister held onto the ring along with her other belongings. My boyfriend and I had been together for almost six years and we had talked about getting engaged, but he didn't have the money for a ring. It was actually my brother-in-law's idea to give him my grandmother's ring. My boyfriend proposed to me on Christmas Eve of that year.

So there are a lot of reasons why my engagement ring is special to me. It's a piece of family history--something that existed before I was born and that I can pass down to my children if I have them (or my niece if I don't). It was something that belonged to my mother and I can remember her by. And of course, it's a constant reminder that I have the love and support of a wonderful man who will someday be my husband.

(This was the most recent picture of us that I could stand. You know how I hate pictures of myself...)

Editing Lists

I make lists all of the time. Pretty much every day I have a to-do list for the things that I want or need to get done over the course of the day. I don't know if you're like me, but if you just say to yourself, "oh, I'll get to that later," then that task probably doesn't get done. Writing down what needs to be done is a great way to not only remember these tasks, but to add a bit of motivation.

I try to use a similar method when it comes to writing, especially when it comes to editing. When you need to make changes to a story, it can be helpful to know exactly what needs to be done. You may not know how to fix everything right away, but just knowing what needs to be fixed is usually the first step.

It can be extremely helpful to write down any idea that comes across your mind. If you want to rewrite a scene, add something in, cut a particular section. It's a lot of information to try to keep inside your head. Chances are you'll forget some of it, and if you have a lot of good ideas, losing them could be devastating. Writing every idea down will help you make sure all of those ideas actually happen.

There really is no right or wrong way to make an editing list, as long as you're able to understand it. I couldn't even tell you how many lists I have. I have a separate draft with comments just for making line edits. I have a list of new ideas for the section I have to rewrite. I have separate lists for each chapter with things I want to fix. You can make as many or as few editing lists as you want. You could go by chapter like I have or just have one giant list with every necessary change on it.

I've recently been working on a new list that groups things based on what order I want to work on them. Group A is for the things I've already figured out and think I can get done quickly, Group B is for things that will be slightly harder, and Group C is for all the things I'm absolutely dreading working on. I haven't figured out all of my edits yet so the list isn't quite finished yet. I think that's why Group C is pretty much blank--technically all the things I haven't figured out yet are there. But once the list is done I think it will be a good way to stay motivated. I'll start with the things I'm actually excited about working on and hopefully as time goes on those things I'm dreading will seem easier to tackle.

Having an editing list can also help you keep track of your progress. One of the reasons I like having to-do lists is that sense of accomplishment you get when you finish a task and can cross it off your list. Imagine how great it will feel once every single task is crossed off the editing list. Maybe then I can actually say my book is done? We'll see...

Do you make editing lists? What's your strategy?