Why are Girls Bad Kissers? (or, Symbolism After the Fact)

I find there are two different ways that symbolism pops up within my stories. Either I plan it ahead of time and figuring everything out before I even write it, or it just shows up on its own and then I have to dissect these moments and maybe even flesh them out so that the symbolism actually makes sense. Funnily enough, it's usually the latter. For the most part, I don't plan out symbolism. It just happens. 

When I say "symbolism" I actually mean a few different things. It can be actual symbols--an object or something that occurs and represents something else. Or it can be other things. Moments that connect over the course of the story. A similar theme or idea popping up over and over again. Really just anything extra that makes you stop and go, "huh." It means more than what is just there on the surface. 

But anyway, I'm getting off track. You're probably wondering what the heck this has to do with girls being bad kissers. I realized that while there are only two teenage girl characters in UL (and only one of them gets real page time), they had something in common. Jordan just had to tell the reader what sloppy kissers they were. 

I honestly don't even know where that came from. And it's definitely not supposed to be some kind of "Oh, he's only gay because every girl he kisses is terrible at it!" thing. No no no no no. I'm definitely not in the position to be giving any wrong impressions in this book. So why the bad kissing? In the first chapter he mentions going on one date with this girl Kristen, who is--obviously--a bad kisser. Later on in the book he actually does start going at it with another girl, Madison--also a bad kisser (until he shows her what's what). 

So. What exactly was I supposed to do with this nonsense? Cut it? Only have one of them be a bad kisser? It just seemed like a weird thing to keep mentioning, and really wasn't all that necessary of a detail (especially for Kristen). 

I actually went in a different direction with my thought process. I thought about the main female character--Jordan's mom. It's pretty obvious throughout the book that she's a neglectful mother. I don't think she ever would have kissed her son, even when he was a baby. So what the heck does that have to do with my sloppy kissers??

Well, these are really the only three women mentioned in the book. I figured that maybe there was a way for some kind of symbolism to happen here (especially because I love things that come in threes for this book). The final scene with Jordan's mom has always been a big fight, although it's going to change a lot from the last draft and I still have to figure out what to do with it. But the basic idea is that she betrays Jordan in some way and he feels he can never forgive her. So I was thinking, what if in her desperation during this moment, to get his forgiveness and actually be a good mother, maybe she tries to kiss him--on the forehead, cheek, maybe even the hand--just something. And he still rejects her. I think it could be a powerful moment if done right. 

So I'm definitely still figuring it out. But I think there's something there. I think the bad kissing girls can be more about building up to the moment with the mother rather than having anything to do with sexuality or that sort of intimacy. Hopefully it will be fun to figure out and not too much of a struggle!

Speed Up or Slow Down?

I've been having a predicament when it comes to editing lately. Ok, I've had several predicaments over the course of editing this novel, but one in particular seems relevant right now. I finally finished up my Chapter 3 edits and Chapter 4 should be relatively easy (just line by line edits, no major changes--hopefully I can get it done in one day). So that brings me to Chapter 5, and also to my predicament.

Well, technically it's about Chapter 5 and Chapter 6. They've always gone pretty much the same way. In Chapter 5, my characters admit that they're attracted to one another. In Chapter 6, one of the characters reveals a darker secret, and then my narrator is left wondering what to do with all of this information.

My concern with this is that I've been feeling like Chapter 6 may be slowing the story down. It's basically just a giant conversation. The information is important, but I've wondered if it really needs an entire chapter to get the point across. So what I wanted to do was take all of the important bits and move them onto the end of Chapter 5 instead. Then the story could keep going at a faster pace.

Well, that's what I planned on doing, anyway. Now that the moment is finally approaching, I'm not so sure if it's the right decision anymore. There's already a lot going on in Chapter 5. Every part of the story beforehand has basically been leading to this moment. So it's a lot to deal with already. Then the information in Chapter 6 is a lot to take in as well. So maybe it's too much to put into just one chapter.

There's also what happens after these chapters. Basically a decision has to be made and I'm worried if I combine these chapters that the decision happens way too quickly. Maybe it won't seem realistic anymore if the action is sped up. There's a thought process involved and if I speed up that process it may seem irrational.

So what to do? Speed it up or slow it down? I'm leaning toward the latter at this point, AKA keeping exactly the way it's always been (just writing it better, of course). That way--hopefully--the reader won't be overwhelmed and wondering what exactly is going on.

The Year in Which I Do Stuff

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group. Click here to learn more and sign up!

So it's that time of year where everyone is making goals and resolutions. I'm usually on the fence about creating them, because I tend not to follow through on actual goals. But this year, I would really like to make some accomplishments. So here are the goals:

1. Finish the third draft of Uneven Lines. 
I'm pretty sure I've had some version of this goal for the last six years (for the 1st and 2nd drafts), and probably this exact goal last year (and the year before...). I think I want to finish it by the summer (maybe June-July), although I wouldn't be opposed to anytime sooner than that, and get some actual beta readers for it. Then once it's done figure out what to do with it.

2. Get back into blogging.
In 2015 I went a little psycho and blogged every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Last year I didn't blog much at all. I'd like to blog every Monday at least. I really have no idea what's been going on with other bloggers lately, too, so I'd like to make sure I visit everyone more often and branch out more to new blogs. I'm on the fence about doing the A to Z Challenge this year. I actually do have an idea that won't be a ridiculous amount of work and could be fun, but I'm just not sure if I'll have the time.

3. Do NaNoWriMo.
I know, this is waaaaaay in advance, but I figure I need to start thinking about it now. I've halfheartedly made this a goal a few times before, but I've never accomplished it. I've never even come close. So this year, I'd like to do it. AND: I want to write the sequel to Uneven Lines for it. That's why I want to start planning it now. I want to make sure I have every detail mapped out before I start writing. There's also a bit of research involved so I'd like to get that done before writing rather than sorting it out after.

4. Read 100 books. 
I've made this goal before, and I know it's incredibly unrealistic. But I still want to try it. Last year I only read 3 books (one of which was a reread), which was pretty pathetic. While I'm not exactly sure if I'll reach 100, I'd like to get closer than ever before. I'd like to read all of the books I already own, and not just fiction--nonfiction, poetry, etc. I think if I have a few books going at once it may help. We'll see.

5. Watch 100 new movies.
I've made this goal before but I've never actually achieved it, even though it would be much easier than the 100 books goal. Last year I only watched 48 movies, which was way less than my usual low 80s from the two years before. If I watch one movie every three days or so, this should be pretty easy. Only movies I've never seen before count.

6. Have an awesome 30th birthday.
Ok, so it's not until August, but I'm already trying to plan it. Well, because for Christmas, my husband got me Hamilton tickets (!!!!!!!!!) for the day after, and I bought tickets for the Amelie musical on my birthday. That's all I have so far, but I have lots and lots of time to plan everything else. I'm hoping to travel to NY the day before my birthday and leave two days after.

So that's it, pretty much. I would like to look into publishing some smaller things (like all those poems that have been sitting around collecting dust), lose some weight (and keep it off!), organize my apartment, yada yada. The really good news is that I've actually started out the year with a big accomplishment, but I think you'll read about that somewhere else...*insert evil laugh* Hopefully I can take the momentum and run with it.

Do I have terribly unrealistic goals? What are your goals for the new year?

Jordan Takes Over: What'd I Miss

**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**

I just want everyone to know that Sarah picked the title for this post. Because she's nuts. I will not be dancing around and singing like Thomas Jefferson, thank you very much. Well, I could sing, if you ask really nice (or bribe me with chocolate). But no musicals!

Here, I'll sing a little something for you...I know something you don't know! OUCH! Sarah just pinched me! She's so mean. Seriously. Just wait for Book 2. Torture city.

WHERE WAS I???? Stop distracting me! So yes, I have been gone for quite some time. My last blog takeover post was in August (whaaaaaaaaat?). Now, I wouldn't say that I've been lazy (so you shouldn't, either), but in my defense, it's hard to motivate myself to write a blog post when Sarah isn't really writing them either. I mean, really. What do you people want from me?

There was supposed to be a point to this post, wasn't there? I can't really remember what it was. Ok, so the title is kind of fitting. I've missed quite a bit. But you've missed everything about me, too! I mean, I finally turned 21 and nobody threw me a booze soaked Muse Party?? Rude. It's ok. In the real world, Adam and I went clubbing and we danced and I blacked out. Fun times. In muse world, well...I guess I took a nap or something. Also fun times.

But what's going on in blogging world (exactly how many worlds are there...?)??? Fill me in. I'm running out of things to talk about here. Uh...what's everyone's favorite kind of tea? If you can guess mine then Sarah will make you a batch of cupcakes. No I didn't ask her, but it'll be fine, trust me. I'm very persuasive.

JP

When Words Happen

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that I haven't written a blog post besides IWSG for months. I feel so out of the loop. I do read some blogs now and then but definitely not every day. And I never comment because I don't want anyone to come back here and see all the tumbleweeds. I think I'll probably stay on my sort-of-hiatus for the rest of the year. Although Jordan's birthday is this month, and he's finally turning 21 (sort of)...help me! ("What makes you think I haven't had a fake ID for years??" he says). I could do something for that (but not a Muse Party. I haven't given myself enough time to set that up, womp womp). I'm hoping to get back into the swing of blogging next year.

Anyway, the good news! You'll never guess. I'VE BEEN WRITING ACTUAL WORDS. Wait, it gets weirder. NOT SOMETHING USELESS. I know, right? FOR THE ACTUAL THIRD DRAFT OF UNEVEN LINES. WHAT IS THIS MADNESS????

*cough* I'll stop shouting now. I wouldn't say it's a ridiculous amount of words, but maybe a ridiculous amount of ideas. Like I keep thinking about it all the time, whereas I've mostly been avoiding thinking about it for quite some time now. Sometimes I'll get struck by an idea and have to stop everything to write it down--whether it's at work or 5 in the morning and I'm trying to sleep and can barely keep my eyes open to type it into my phone. But I will definitely take what I can get.

I'm still trying to figure out how to rewrite the last third of the book, but I want to keep editing and writing to get there and hopefully I'll have a plan by then. My ideas have been all over the place, at different points in the book, but I'm not trying to rein them in. Because like I said, I'll take what I can get!!!!!!

I am trying to get more organized, though. I finally bought Scrivener and I'm loving it so far. I had the trial sitting on my computer for years. I tend to leave little scraps of ideas all over the place--on my laptop, my flash drive, my phone, in notebooks, on random pieces of paper. Sometimes I'll think of a sentence I wrote a while ago but can't remember its exact location. So I'm trying to find all those pieces and put them all in the same place! I'm hoping it will help tie everything together and maybe I can figure some more things out.

Ok, I'll stop rambling, BECAUSE  I HAVE TO GET BACK TO WRITING. Ok, not really. When this posts I'll actually be at work. But when I get home, WORDS. WILL. HAPPEN.

New Story Syndrome

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Hello blogging universe! (Blogiverse?) I know I've been super off the grid lately. I guess it's hard to blog about writing when you're not actually writing, which has pretty much been the case for the past few months. I just haven't been able to come up with ideas lately. And I don't think I could write a blog post every week just talking about how I'm always tired...

Anyway, this month, I thought I'd take a crack at the IWSG's question, which is: What is your favorite aspect of being a writer? 

While I think there are a ton of favorite things, one in particular came to mind. I love that excited feeling when a story is brand new and the ideas just keep coming to you non-stop. I guess I've been feeling this way lately because I actually wrote something new! 

I wrote a short story to submit to the IWSG anthology contest, and I actually had a lot of fun crafting the characters and the world they live in. At first, I just had a basic idea of what I wanted the story to be. Then one day, the ideas started flowing (at work, of all places!) and every gap began to fill itself in. Of course, I procrastinated on actually writing the story, but I think I tend to do that when I really like a story idea. I like to keep it in my head for a while before I put it on the page. 

I think no matter the outcome of the contest, I'd like to continue with this story, whether that means writing short sequels or maybe even a novel (because I have chronic novelitis!). Even if the stories are just for me, it would still be a good way to keep the creativity going. I've come to realize that the less I write, the less I want to write. It's hard to pull yourself out of a rut. But since I've actually been writing lately, I feel more motivated to keep doing it. 

But that newness of a story is one of my favorite things. When it's all you can think about and you just want to keep writing and get those ideas down. That kind of excitement is a hard thing to ignore. 

Everything and Nothing

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I can't believe it's October already! Where is the year going?? I haven't written a blog post since last month's IWSG, and I guess technically a lot has changed, well, since I GOT MARRIED. But you knew that was coming (most of you, anyway). Vegas was lots of fun and the wedding was short and sweet and (mostly) stress free. I did manage to win a little money on the slot machines but you go through a lot of money on food and alcohol and getting around. So far married life is pretty much the same as non-married life, but my husband and I have been together for nine years before we got hitched, so really not much has changed. And no, I haven't changed my last name yet and probably won't change it on the blog or my social media even if I do, since I think I'll still use just my maiden name for my pen name. Still deciding. 

Ok, you get one picture before I move on to writing stuff! I loved my flowers! They were so pretty. And my blue shoes, but they killed my toes and I switched to flip flops after the ceremony. 

Anyhoo, onto writing stuff. Well, not much progress there. I mean, I have been busy. Plus having a full time job makes it difficult to get any writing done. But I also just haven't felt like it lately. I just don't feel the drive. I get hints of it here and there but I feel like I don't want to force it. I think it will gradually come back once I get back into a normal life groove. I'd really love to get the third draft of my novel done some point soon. I doubt it will happen before the year is over, but the sooner, the better. 

Sometimes I feel like I just don't know what to write about. That's probably why I haven't been blogging too much lately. I just don't have any ideas. I can never seem to come up with anything new. I really would like to write something for the IWSG anthology contest, too, but I'm not sure if there's enough time or if I even have a good idea. I do have something in mind, but I just don't know if I can develop it enough and get it to where I want it to be in the amount of time we have. 

It seems whenever I don't know what to do, I just end up doing nothing. I would really love to get something submitted for the anthology, because I think I would regret not doing it more than doing it and not getting in. How can you have a chance if you don't even try? The good news is that I do have a lot of time this weekend by myself to try to work on some things. Whether I get a story done or even just some editing on UL, I think I'll count that as a win.