27 June 2014

The Silly Sex Scene

I'm running out of titles for this topic...

This is something that bothers me on a daily basis. Because I've now written the sex scene twice--no, three times (once in the short story), and I still can't quite figure it out. You'd think it would be for the obvious reasons, that I'm a chick writing a m/m scene, but no, that's not it. I can picture the scene in my head perfectly. I have all the technical details figured out (for the most part, whether I wrote them well is another thing entirely). I also know why it's necessary for my characters to have sex in the first place. What's bothering me is the detail.

Or more specifically, how much detail. None of the ways I've written this scene feel quite right. Which makes me think I've included too much detail. At least up until this point, I've always figured the sex scene should be at least somewhat graphic, not erotica, per se, but more technically detailed, not really leaving anything to the imagination (with emotions and thought process thrown in as well, of course). I had two reasons for writing it this way. One is that there are several sexual situations throughout the book that are very detailed, so I thought being vague in the sex scene wouldn't match up with the rest of the book. The other reason is that you kind of spend the whole book waiting to see if the characters actually will have sex. I worry that there's so much buildup that if I don't pay off that buildup with at least some detail, it will disappoint the reader.

But I still can't really figure out why I can't write this scene in a way that feels right. I'm starting to feel like I'll never get it right. I'm thinking of scrapping every draft of it and starting from scratch. I'm even considering making it EXTREMELY vague, because I think this might work better from a thematic standpoint. But I'm not sure. I swear, I think about this scene so much it makes me feel like a pervert! But I still can't figure it out!

Ok, I know I'm losing it and rambling. This will probably be the very last thing I edit for the third draft. And it will just drive me nuts until then.


  1. Doesn't leaving it up to the reader's imagination fit the characters better?

  2. Someone who writes these types of scenes well is Diana Gabaldon, especially in 'Lord John and the Brotherhood of the Blade'. It might give you some ideas on how to get the effect you're looking for. Just a suggestion.
    Good Luck!

  3. D.G. has a good idea. Read some good sex scenes and see if they give you some help with how to handle yours. Good luck.

  4. Speaking from personal experience (not a true sex writer, but since most of my stories have some degree of sex in them, I've gotten pretty decent at writing them), it can definitely be a hit or miss proposition. Personally, I think it's just the matter of getting over the squeamish that you feel in writing them. Perhaps if you take a crack at writing it from your own personal point of view, you might come up with a decent scene.

    Father Nature's Corner

  5. I would keep all of your drafts, just in case, and try again. You can write an extremely vague version and a version completely different from what you originally had in mind. Then see how you feel about the new ones you wrote. Sometimes taking a new standpoint on it helps. Good luck!

  6. As I was proofing my latest book, I realised I've become very good at glossing over sex scenes. I just know, for me personally, I would really mess it up if I tried it. I've written one graphic scene, because that was the whole point of that particular story and I needed a few drafts to get it right. I think that's the key, keep writing the same scene over and over until it feels right.

  7. I don't think this is something I could write! Hope you find the answer, good luck :)