01 July 2014

Some Minor Insecurities

It's that time again! The first Wednesday of every month is the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group. Click the link to visit Alex J. Cavanaugh's blog and learn more!

First Wed of Every Month

Well, I can't sleep, so I figured I would get this done now. I'm actually sitting in the empty bathtub with my laptop since my fiance is sleeping and I would wake him up with all of this typing. Oh, how I wish for two rooms.

I think I'm slightly insecure over several things right now. Not majorly insecure, just slightly.

I'm thinking of going to the Cape Cod Writers Conference in August. I don't know. I'm not very good at interacting with people. I can picture myself just going to the workshops and then sitting in my car for the rest of it. It would also cost a lot of money that I probably shouldn't spend, and it falls on my birthday weekend so I would be there the entire day. I was excited about it at first, but the more I think about it, the more I feel like I don't want to go, or that I shouldn't.

I finished my read through/ marking up with a red pen of the second draft a few hours ago, which means I have to start my final (hopefully) rewrite of Uneven Lines. This is kind of scary, for several reasons. First, I have to actually get it done. I have to fix all of the problems. I have to rewrite that damn sex scene (which will NOT be vague, I have decided after an email discussion with my only beta reader. Basically all of my fears about the buildup not being released would definitely be true if I were to make it vague). I should probably get a few more beta readers, you know, real ones, since all of my friend/coworker readers never said anything, not even that they read it at all (there's an insecurity all on its own!). I have to rip apart the subplot and figure out what the hell it's doing there. And I really want to get this done within a month. I want to get queries out (scary!). I want to actually do something with this book because I feel like I've been working on it my entire life (ok, not really).

I have to clean my apartment because I have a friend coming over this weekend. I have to figure out something to cook that I won't ruin! And dessert! Cupcakes? I always make cupcakes...

Anyway, I think I would stay up all night writing if it weren't so damn hot in the bathroom with the door closed. Off to bed.

14 comments:

  1. First of all- If you can afford to go to the conference, you should go! I was super nervous before going to my first one, too. Just remember that many of the people there re introverted writers, just like you. :) It makes it easier to meet people. I cannot approach a group of people, but one other writer sitting all alone? That I can do. :)
    Secondly, good luck with your revisions! It's exciting to get close to being done for real. :) I will advise not rushing into querying, no matter how exciting it is. And maybe you're not, I don't know. I say it, mainly, because it's a mistake I've made (more than once!) and I hate to see others make it. So polish and shine it up like crazy. And good luck! :)

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  2. I must say, love the profile pic. It looks so smart and writerly.

    I think if you can afford it, you should go to the conference. I'm the same sort of introvert, and I avoided conferences. I finally forced myself to go to one and you know what? There were so many people just like myself. Some even more backward than me. Eventually I was talking to people and loving it. I still don't go to many (so expensive!), but when I can, I go.

    I hate it when people get the file and just say nothing. Ugh. Happens all the time. Got to remind ourselves...people are busy. Life happens. That's got to be it.

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  3. Okay, first, make sure the house is presentable for your friend. lol

    Second, BREATHE. And take your time. You don't want to rush querying. Make sure everything's ready first. A month sounds kind of short to me. Don't burn yourself out working on something you're supposed to be doing because you love it.

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  4. Never make important decisions in the middle of a sleep-deprived night. =) I'm right there with you on hesitating to hit conferences and the like--not because I'm a total introvert, but because I'm cheap and my kids are home all day. What would become of them? So maybe it doesn't fit with life right now, but there will come a day when it does. You should totally go, if you can afford it, and take a buddy. Seriously.

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  5. If you want to feel like you've "done something," you don't have to rush your novel. You could always try writing a piece or two of short fiction. Every time I finish something I get some sort of rush, whether is story is 100 or 4k words long.

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  6. I'm glad you decided not to make the sex scene vague, and I hope you're able to rewrite it soon. I agree with Debra, though, that you don't want to rush querying. I made that mistake before, querying before I was ready and it showed. So take your time. I know how you feel about your co-workers and friends. I've sent some friends and even my sister-in-law for feedback and never heard back. When you finish your revisions, and if you're looking for another beta reader, send me an email (ChrysFey(at)yahoo(dot)com). I might be able to help if I have nothing else going on at the time. :) Good luck!!

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  7. It's almost impossible for me to come up with something to cook that I won't ruin. I'm not sure such a meal exists.
    And I'm like you with the conferences, it is so hard for me to interact with people.

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  8. The difficulty with using friends and coworkers for beta reading is that they tend not to want to have to say what they didn't like, and often the easiest way to do that is to ignore the manuscript completely.

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  9. HI, Sarah,
    If making a pro and con list will help you, you can try that to help you decide if you should go to the conference. While your story needs more work now, when it's ready you'll know for sure. Thanks for visiting my blog today.

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  10. You're at an exciting moment, the finish line is in view now, just at the edge of the horizon. How exciting!

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  11. You should find a friend to go with you to the conference. Or see if anyone else here online is going.
    You can do what I did - put out a call for some critique partners.

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  12. Co-workers and friends tend to make lousy beta readers. They don't understand the way an author or writer does.

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  13. I was going to write the same thing ads Diane above. Whenever I've given my work to friends to read, they simply say it was 'good'.

    Cupcakes are ALWAYS lovely!

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  14. My first writers conference was an adventure! I loved connecting with other writers and hearing all the wonderful workshops on improving the craft as well as shortcuts and secrets on technique and experiences. :) I agree with Alex, find a buddy to go with! As for beta readers, the BEST kind are avid readers who are into that genre. Good luck!

    ♥.•*¨Elizabeth¨*•.♥

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