Jordan Takes Over: Character Nicknames

**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**

So, things are a little different today because I have AN INTRUDER on my post. And you thought I was greedy. But I think you guys like our witty banter or something, so without any further BS...Miss Writer Lady!

What'd I miss???

STAHP. What are we doing here, anyway? I haven't had a cup of tea yet. You know what, never mind the tea, I'm going back to bed.

Nice try! We're going to have some fun with character names today. Or more specifically, character nicknames! And not the ones that you would actually use in a story. Because if any other writers out there are like me...

Psychotic...

*glares* Anyway...you may refer to your own characters with nicknames that you would never actually use in a story. Whether because you love them so much you create gooey sappy nicknames, or you hate them so much you commonly refer to them as something that probably shouldn't be uttered in front of children. So we're gonna have some fun today and go through the characters in Jordan's series and maybe some extra characters will manage to sneak in as well.

Not likely. Why do I have to be here, exactly?

Because I'm guessing you have nicknames for these characters that are probably a bit different than mine...so let's start!

They don't even know who these people are...
SHHHH.

UNEVEN LINES (BOOK ONE) 

Jordan (!)

Jojo!
*rolls eyes* I don't have a nickname for myself. That would be weird
Ok, I get another! Bane of my existence! SASSAFRASS. 
Please stop.

Tom

You whore! We don't talk about him!
He's the second most important character in the book; you had to have seen this coming. 
I want out!
GIVE ME SOMETHING!
Ugh...I think I frequently called him loser. Or like, math geek. Psycho baker! That was a good one. Can we make cookies?

Allison (Mom)

I don't think your readers will appreciate the words I use for her.
You just called me a whore. 
I would never be that nice to her.

Eric

Light of my life.
Badass. 

Brian

A-hole.
Um...yeah, that's accurate. 

Madison

HAG.
I thought that was me?
YOU'RE BOTH HAGS. You can be Queen Hag and she can be Princess Hag.

BOOK TWO

Seth

Sticks! *air drums*
Joe...I mean, Max...I mean, Seth! Seth! He finally has a name! I never thought it would happen.

Adam

Yoko. 
Hair.

Cameron

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named
I still say you just change it to Voldemort. It'll save time. 

Abby

A red-haired, blue-eyed, demon child sent straight from hell to torture me.
I thought you adored her.
I do. She's my entire world.

Ben

The guy I wasn't supposed to know about.
Same. Characters are always doing things they're not supposed to be doing. Like existing. 

BOOK THREE

Anthony

That stupid beefed-up queen???
*laughing hysterically* I just wanted to include him so you would say that. 

And now before he notices...CHARACTERS FROM OTHER STORIES WHO SOMEHOW SNUCK INTO MY SUBCONSCIOUS WHEN JOJO WASN’T LOOKING

More like sleeping.

Raynor from "The Last Dragon" 

Ray Ray!
Fire boy.
YOU'RE SPOILING IT!
IT COMES OUT TOMORROW FOR F'S SAKE!

Jason from Shiny New Story

Just J. 
Needs-To-Take-A-Chill-Pill.
He's not that bad. He has a troubled past!
He needs a personality makeover. I'll fix that.
He's not gonna sleep with you. He's in a committed relationship. 
Hey! Did I say I was gonna seduce him? I have various means of persuasion. *cracks knuckles*

Eli from Shiny New Story

My widdle Eli cuddlekins omg I wanna pinch his cheeks.

Calm down, woman! You have a problem. Plus he’s 18, not an infant.

*sticks out tongue* 

Ok, time to wrap this up.

I'm sure we've lost everybody by now. 

I guess we could go make those cookies. 

I'm not gonna make out with you while they bake, though. 

Well that's a relief. 

JP & SF <3

Do you give your characters nicknames that aren't actually in the story?