Jordan Takes Over: It's a Trap!

**The first Monday of the month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**

I know, I know--I haven't been here in forever. It's not that I didn't want to. Well, ok, maybe I didn't want to. But, I mean, do you really want to listen to me ramble unless I have something really good to say? Real life conversations? Easy. Blog topics? Not so much.

Anyway, why did I decide to show up today? I was tricked, thank you very much. Ok, it went like this:

Sarah: Are you writing a blog post for Monday?
Me: Pass.
Well, fine. You know what? You can't write a blog post. 
Excuse me?
I'm not letting you. 
GIVE ME THAT LAPTOP.

Dammit, reverse psychology really works on me. I mean, you tell me I can't have/do something (or someone...), whooooooooaaaaaaa watch out. So now that I'm here, what do I write about?

Hold on a second, someone left a plate of cookies here! That's...suspiciously thoughtful. Well, ok, I guess Sarah knew the whole time that the reverse psychology was gonna work and I'd be here, so maybe the cookies are a peace offering. And I don't say know to dessert. I'll just have one...or ten.

Where was I? Oh, right, blogging. The thing I'm supposed to be doing right now. Listen, it's not my fault when you just drop cookies in front of me. Sugar. My only weakness.

So apparently Sarah has a staycation next week. Which apparently also means that I'm supposed to be on full time muse duty next week. FAT CHANCE. No one asked me about my schedule. I'm extremely busy. I've got...you know...gigs. Snacks. Naps. Very important stuff. Did anyone clear this with Adam? You know, he's way more organized than me. Where is he, anyway?

OOooooooooooo there's cupcakes, too! What's going on here? Some kind of dessert buffet? I mean, really, I'm not disappointed, but if Sarah had just told me there'd be dessert, then she wouldn't have had to do the whole reverse psychology thing. Well, I guess I could have grabbed the food and ran away. Ok, maybe she knows me too well.

So, right. Staycation. *sigh* A whole damn week and she expects constant writing? Yeah, when has that ever happened? Ok, when we first started writing this story, but that was like, seven years ago. When has it happened since then? Huh? NEVER. That's right. So why exactly does she think it's gonna happen now??

Wait a second. MORE DESSERT? Oh look! Pie! Ha. Ok, this is a little weird. It's like...there's too much dessert. Something's kinda off here. What kind of pie is that, anyway? Wait...is that...KEY LIME?

OH F---------

*a giant net falls* 

What the....AGGGGGGGGGGH. I knew it! The dessert buffet was a trap! This whole thing was a trap! But wait a second...who would....YOU! This is not right. You are not this crafty.
Yeah, but I've had you living in my head for seven years. It rubs off. 
That's what---
DON'T EVEN. 
Wait a second, did you do something to Adam?
He's indisposed at the moment. That way he can't distract me with Book 3 ideas and he can't distract you with his hair. 
Yeah, but, where is he?
Tied to a chair somewhere. It's ok. Muses don't need to eat.
I beg to differ.
Come on, we're gonna finish this damn novel. 
The whole thing? But there's so much work to do!
Which is exactly why you're not going anywhere! *starts dragging net*

I just want it on the record that I was tricked and KIDNAPPED and any words produced and/or edited were done against my will. Is there a muse's union? I'm calling my rep.

JP

Try Something Shiny

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

So here we are at another IWSG day...and I feel like I'm in the exact same place I've been in for the past two months. I just don't have much of a desire to work on my novel. I desperately want it to be done, but I don't want to work on it. Solid logic, right?

Anyway, I decided to change my strategy (you know, doing absolutely nothing), at least for a little while. Take the pressure off a little. So I let my mind drift to a different story. Shiny New Story, to be specific (which will get an actual title at some point). And then eventually my fingers drifted as well. As in actual writing. Real life words! Not just random ideas I punch into my phone at 3 AM. Like, paragraphs! Dialogue! Stuff happening!

I think there were a lot of factors that made it easier to work on SNS. Just because it was something different. Because it's a first draft and I can write really crappy sentences and not care. Or even care if everything is making complete sense, because I can fix it later. And the main parts I worked on were particularly suspenseful, which was a fun change. Not all of my story ideas always involve suspense, but I do really enjoy it, so it was fun to work on.

I'm not entirely certain this completely reinvigorated my desire to write. I was hoping after indulging for a while, I would eventually get back into editing UL. That still hasn't happened. But it was nice taking a little break and to actually get some writing done instead of just avoiding everything.

At least I know when I'm struggling to write/edit, I always have something shiny to distract me.

Same Old, Same Old

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

So here we are again at IWSG day aaaaaaaaaaaaand....I feel like I am in the exact same spot I was in last month. I haven't written a blog post in a month. I'm still working on Chapter 15. I have no idea why it's taking so long (I'll get into that later). According to Goodreads, I am 12 books behind my goal of 100 for the year. Last month I only read half of the books I planned on (my books made into movies category), so I plan on continuing with those books while also reading poetry books for this month. Also because I think if I'm not reading a novel I may go insane. 

Anyhoo, back to the Chapter 15 woes. This is once again a chapter I thought would only take me a day or two to edit, and now it's been over a month since I started working on it. However, in this case, it's more like I just can't motivate myself to work on it, rather than it being more difficult than I expected. It's not that difficult. I mean, editing anything has its challenges, but this isn't a chapter that needed a lot of huge changes.

There are only two scenes in this chapter. There's a lot of dialogue, and brief make out scene (don't judge me). There's some backstory for both characters, and a secret is revealed that I've been keeping for the whole book. Sometimes I worry about that secret, that by the time it's finally revealed, the reader won't actually care (since it's about a subplot, so it wasn't something that was constantly brought up).

Is any of this the reason why I can't finish this chapter? Uhhhhh....not really. Except maybe I think I've used up every way I can possibly describe a kiss.

I honestly don't know why I can't finish it. I think I'm just tired when I come home from work and I don't really want to do anything. That's a big part of it, at least. I think I need a new routine that works in writing and reading time (and hopefully some gym time, too).

So hopefully by my next IWSG post (and hopefully it's not my next blog post), I'll have at least finished this chapter. More would be nice. But I'll settle for one.

Securely Insecure (or Insecurely Secure?)

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

It happened again! I went a whole month without a blog post! Bad! I haven't even been reading other people's blogs. Double bad! I don't even really have a good excuse besides laziness (or maybe just being tired).

At the very least, I thought I'd write a post just to brag about how I managed to see all nine Best Picture nominees before the Oscars this past Sunday. Well, I guess I'm bragging about it now! It helps that I live above a movie theater and my husband's friend is in SAG and lent us some screeners (shhhhh just don't tell anyone). I really liked all nine, which is unexpected. But they were all good and deserved the nomination in my opinion. Just don't ask me to rank them! You can probably guess my heavily biased I've read the book like three or four times favorite...if you pay attention to my usual nonsense 'round here.

Anyway, I'm rambling again. On to the insecurity!

Actually, you know what? I'm not really feeling that insecure lately (besides the not blogging thing). Well, I'm not fully secure either. At last month's post time, I was still stuck on Chapter 13 of my third draft. It was definitely grueling, but I got through it! In the last draft, this chapter was 3 1/2 pages. Now it's 8 1/3! I think it came out so much better than before.

And guess what happened after that? I FINISHED CHAPTER 14, TOO!

Ok, so this isn't happening at the speed of light, but it's much faster than my usual pace. So now I'm on Chapter 15, which I haven't looked at in a couple days but once I actually sit down and do it, shouldn't take too long (yeah, yeah, we've heard that before, Sarah). I'm actually surprised at how much I've had to change as I'm writing this draft. It's a lot of new stuff.

What I am a bit insecure about is that the closer I get to the last third of the book, the more work will be needed. I basically have to completely rewrite that last third, minus a couple scenes (maybe just one, actually). I thought editing the first two thirds would be easy, and I was so, so wrong. I already know that last third will be difficult, so it'll probably turn out to be impossible. Or maybe it'll be the opposite and be surprisingly easy. I can dream, right?

Does editing ever turn out to be harder (or easier) than you expected? Did you see any of the Best Picture nominees?

Fizzling Out

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Somehow it's February already. And despite all the motivation I had at the beginning the year, I don't really feel like I've accomplished much. It seems all that motivation fizzled out rather quickly, and I'm trying to find ways to get back on track.

So how did January go? Well, so so, I guess. I started off strong with social media, taking part in challenges on both Twitter and Instagram. About halfway through the month, I pretty much gave up on the Instagram ones. I knew I would skip days here and there if I didn't have things to post for those particular days, but at a certain point I just stopped doing it. I think it was equal parts not having good ideas for the posts and just not having the motivation to do it.

I did, however, stick with #WIPjoy on Twitter right until the end, so that was great! I've always wanted to do it and it was a lot of fun. I probably won't do it again with the same WIP, but definitely with a different one.

Reading has also been so so. I'm a little behind on keeping up with my yearly goal of 100 books. I only read 4 books in January, and only two of those books were from my "Clear the Bookshelf" theme. So, the bookshelf is still pretty full. I did finish another book today and am close to finishing my 6th, but I haven't started my February romance books yet. However! I'm at 5 books which is waaaaaaaaay ahead of any previous year's reading. I probably haven't finished 1 book in the past few Januarys, so I'll count that as a win (sort of).

Writing? Hahahahaaha. Yeah, bit of an epic fail there. I haven't gotten anything done. I still haven't finished my Chapter 13 edit. It's just turned out to be so much more complicated than I thought it would be. Which will be great once it's done. It'll be a really interesting and complex chapter, where I thought it was super simple to begin with. But...I have to actually finish it first.

The good news? I have the next four days off from work (I have waaaaay too many PTO hours and we can max out so I have to use them!) so that means lots of time for writing and reading!! Let's just hope I actually do it.

The Amazingly Difficult Chapter

Have you ever had a chapter surprise you? I've been avoiding my Chapter 13 edit for quite some time, not really knowing why. I thought it had to do with setting, one of the aspects of this book I have the most trouble with. Whenever my characters actually leave the safety of their own homes and venture out into the world, I always wonder if I'm getting it right. If mentioning locations and landmarks feels real or forced. If it would seem accurate to someone who actually lives there.

But what if that wasn't the real reason I was avoiding it? What if I didn't actually know the reason, but when I figured it out, was actually blown away? Even though it was even more difficult than I anticipated, it turned out to be a good thing.

The more I work on this story, the more I find hiding under the surface. On the surface, this chapter seems pretty basic--my characters are going on their first real "date," which ends up being at a museum. Underneath, however, are about a million different layers that I didn't even know or intend to be there. But I knew that this chapter needed even more work than I thought it did. So maybe on some subconscious level, this was why I was avoiding it.

I always knew there was a lot of symbolism in this chapter, but it seems to be even more complicated than I initially thought. This is the first real time my two characters journey out into the real world together, so there's a lot going on both internally and externally. I had to think about how they would act differently when surrounded by dozens, even hundreds of other people, when they are so used to just being by themselves. Every setting change offered different opportunities to examine that--waiting for the subway, on the train, on the street, in the museum lobby, in the Greek and Roman section, then with the European paintings, back to the street, and then back at one character's apartment at the end, to where they are once again safe. While they are awkward and silent on the subway, on the street the mood changes and they are able to talk, actually examining their past relationships with their mothers and places they've both gone with them, then by the end of the museum trip, one character has a moment of vulnerability and lets something slip that he probably shouldn't have. It's a journey that takes so many different turns that I wasn't expecting.

What I realized was that this chapter wasn't difficult--it was amazing! Well, ok, still difficult, because there is a lot to put in there. I really just thought there were only a few things to examine, but there was so much more. I found myself weaving in subplot, hinting at back story that will come into play in the next few chapters, finding ways for my characters to figure each other out.

There was so much to add in that wasn't there in the first two drafts, so I'm still working on it, of course. But I think this chapter is heading in the right direction now.

Productive! (but not actually writing...)

So one of my resolutions was to get back to blogging once a week, and well, I didn't blog on Monday like I usually would do. But hey, it's still the second week so it doesn't really matter which day I blog, now does it?

Anyway, I feel somewhat productive so far. I have been reading more than usual, just not as fast as I'd like. I picked my first book off the shelf for my Clear the Bookshelf! themed month (The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black), and I'm also reading The Weekend Novelist for the IWSG book club. I kinda hoped I'd be done with both by now and onto a few new books. Plus I promised myself I could reread Call Me By Your Name once I did (been dying to since I saw the movie a few weeks ago), but it hasn't happened. Plus there's that sexuality in Ancient Greece book I still need to look through. And I can't exactly clear the bookshelf by only reading one book that was waiting on the shelf. I'm not a crazy person or anything.

Social media! This is where I've been doing my best. I've been taking part in two (and a half-ish) challenges on Twitter and Instagram. #WIPjoy on Twitter which I've always wanted to do, but I've been very nervous about. It can be scary to share stuff about your WIP, especially when my book idea is controversial. But like I said on day one of the challenge, this is the year where I say screw it! It's fun to share different aspects about my book and to see people actually respond to it.

One of the most fun things was creating an aesthetic for Uneven Lines, which I've never done (and I've been working on it for almost 7 years!). I made it for Day 6 for WIPjoy and I'm using it again today on Instagram for #Storymakers18. It was really tricky to decide on images (plus finding free ones that I thought fit my story) but it was so much fun and I luuuuuuuuuurve it.

Now, here's the problem: I HAVEN'T DONE ANY WRITING. Oh sure, I'm spending lots of time thinking about my book, finding pictures for it, searching it for lines to share. But I haven't written a single word. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I could have edited three chapters by now! It's probably because I'm too busy doing all the other stuff. 

I think there's an upside to this. At least I'm thinking about the book all the time. I actually fell asleep last night thinking about the next scene I have to edit. So I hope if I keep it up this will lead to actual writing/editing. If I just sit my butt down with my laptop and actually start doing it. We'll see...