Sometimes it's Easier

I can't remember the last time I wrote a non-IWSG post! (I don't write the Jordan Takes Over ones, he does...duh...). Oh wait, let me check...it was January! I just have not been all that motivated to write blog posts lately. I don't know what it is. Maybe because the writing has been slow going, or maybe I just can't come up with ideas. Or I'm just tired all the time. But I do really want to get back into it, so, this is a start!

I've been on vacation for over a week now and still don't go back to work until Wednesday. It has been AWESOME. I love a good staycation, where I just get to relax and read and write and watch TV and (sometimes) clean/organize my apartment like I've been wanting to for months. Somehow, though, I never get quite as much done as I planned. But it is still nice to not be at work!

As for the reading, I'm trying to catch up with my goal. I've only got one more Harry Potter book to reread, and I'm still reading A Dance with Dragons, and have been since May (I think)...why exactly do I always choose the largest books to read?????? I've been trying to read more blogger buddy books, which has been going a bit better...I've read 5 now and still have plenty more on my Kindle to read. My problem is making myself write reviews...I just really think I'm bad at it! I still have to pick some books to read for Banned Books Week, too...the struggle continues.

Anyway! What I really wanted to talk about is writing! Which has actually been happening! Ok, I won't deny the fact that I had hoped for some mega writing spree where I could finally finish the third draft of Uneven Lines over this vacation. But I didn't honestly think that would happen. But there has been actual progress!

I have to admit I did procrastinate for a few days before really diving into the writing/editing. But that's what you're supposed to do on a vacation, right? Have some fun? But at a certain point I knew it was time to crack down or this would just be another wasted vacation, and I couldn't have that. I've had way too many of those.

First I had to get through Chapter 17, which I'd been avoiding for a while. Not even sure why. There was a lot of rewriting to do and I really had to dive into a character's backstory. It had always been a bit vague in the first two drafts so I added a lot more to have it make sense. It took a few days, but finally the chapter was done! I had reached the promised land!

Why? Well, because Chapter 18 is probably my favorite chapter. The whole chapter is pretty intense and there's a twist at the end. Plus, as I said in this Instagram post, this is the chapter where I take Jordan's already tiny heart, rip it out, and stomp on it repeatedly. WHY IS TORTURING CHARACTERS SO FUN? I don't know, but this chapter has some of my favorite lines in the whole book, so maybe sometimes the writing is better when the characters are miserable. Who knows?

Long story short (this post has turned out way longer than I intended...), a chapter usually takes me weeks, even months to rewrite. But I got Chapter 18 done in less than 24 hours. And that was with sleeping and eating and watching TV. It probably only took me 5 or 6 hours overall. I'd say a good 2/3 of it was completely rewritten, and I added 3 pages.

I don't even know how that happened but I would like that magic to stick around for the rest of the book. Will it, though? Probably not. But maybe things will be just a little easier from here on out.

My Unsellable Book

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

Here we are at another IWSG day! I feel like I've lost my writing mojo. It went from not having the time or energy to write, to just not wanting to write at all. I did finish my Chapter 16 edit earlier in the month, though! So that's good. I also have a long staycation after this week (starting Friday at exactly 2:30, thank you very much) and I really hope I can get lots of writing done. We'll see.

Don't even get me started on my reading goal! I still have two Harry Potter books to read and I'm only on my FOURTH blogger buddy book (and I started with the shortest ones!!!!). Now I'm into September which was supposed to be Banned Books. I haven't even picked what books to read. But hey, Banned Books Week isn't until the 23rd, so....plenty of time, right???

Anyhoo, I decided this month to utilize the IWSG's optional question, which is:

What publishing path are you considering/did you take, and why?

This is a tricky question, but basically I'm considering any and all publishing paths, especially for Uneven Lines. In an ideal world, I'd like to be traditionally published, but I'm not so sure if it's in the cards for this particular book. Why? Well.......because it's probably unsellable. 

Man, I've really dug myself into a hole with this one. I mean, I knew before I started that it was a controversial topic. I wanted to write about a relationship between a teenager and an adult. I can only blame myself for this. But once all the details started filling themselves in, I fell in love with the thing. And it's been a struggle, but I've worked so hard on it, making it complicated, trying to make every line meaningful and mutli-layered and I really think if someone would give it half a chance they would actually enjoy it. 

A big part of the problem is finding a way to describe the book in a query letter or even a blurb that will get someone to actually be interested and not immediately turned off. I haven't quite figured that out yet. Well, mostly because I'm still working on the book. It's one of those I'll cross that bridge when I get to it kind of things. I did write a query letter for it once (for that pitching thing that must not be named) and I vaguely remember (because I've blocked it out of my memory) one of the mentors saying that the relationship came off as predatory. IN THE QUERY LETTER! I was like, huh? Clearly I did a terrible job on this letter if you have zero clue about the personalities of my characters and are jumping to conclusions. So in order to sell this book my query letter is probably going to have to be just as complicated as the book itself. 

But I digress...there's also that whole I don't know if its YA or NA or Adult thing. But...yeah. Basically, if I ever actually finish this book to the point where I think it's ready to be published, I'm going to try to get an agent and a publisher. But I am mentally preparing myself for it not to happen. I don't have too much of an idea of where to start for self-publishing, but that's just another bridge, I suppose. 

First I gotta finish the book, amiright?????

Jordan Takes Over: Symbolism Schmymbolism

**The first Monday of the month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**

Did everyone miss me? Has there been a shortage of tissues? Wait, don't answer that.

I just want it on the record that I was dragged out of a very nice nap in order to write this blog post. But we've got this new thing going that I don't have to write a post *every* month, but if the first Monday of the month is after the first Wednesday, Sarah says I have to. Something about how her IWSG posts will always steal my thunder and I won't get any attention and I do not like that one little bit. So, here we are! I get this week, bitches!

Anyway, what to talk about? If you did read Sarah's post last week, she mentioned how Chapter 16 has a lot of potential symbolism that hasn't really been properly explored. To which I would say, these are things that actually happened in my life and it's not my fault if you read so much into it.

Ok, ok. OK!!!! So everything in a novel is supposed to serve a purpose, right? So I guess these things need to be figured out so that they're not just stupidly thrown around wherever. BECAUSE if a character lets me use a red blanket in this chapter, and then buys me a red scarf in the next one, you're supposed to stop and think about that, right? What does it mean????? 

Well, the blanket and the scarf are protective symbols, like, this person is trying to protect me (pfft like I need it), from a) himself and b) the cold mean world, yada yada. But **RED** is important here. Red is representative of sin/desire/passion. But the blanket/scarf is more about love/protection. Because the fact that this character has two sides is something that comes up CONSTANTLY, i.e. the structured/caring side vs the chaotic/desire driven side. He's not one side or the other; he's both--which is represented by these objects. ALSO. What else is red? Blood. Which makes you think back to an earlier chapter where I tried to help make dinner but ended up cutting my finger with a huge freaking knife. And this is the idea that he can try to protect me, but bad things will still happen.

I just bored you to tears, didn't I? Because you probably have no idea what I'm talking about. But even if you had read the book, would you be able to pick up on all of this just by reading about a damn blanket? Plus symbolism is always up to interpretation, right? Someone may read the totally wrong thing from it. Or they may not pick up on it at all.

But anyway, that whole paragraph of nonsense just leads me to realize that we DID figure out some of this symbolism a long time ago so why am I even here?

Because I guess there's MORE. *sigh* We have to figure out why there's a moment while making chocolate chip cookies where it has to be explained why salt is used in baking. And apparently that has to mean something. I don't know. I'm tired. I think I'll sleep on it.

JP

Falling Behind

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

Another IWSG day and I still feel like I'm in a rut. I feel like a broken record sometimes with these blog posts. I really want to start blogging more, too, but it's hard to come up with ideas. I do have a lot of vacation time coming up so maybe I can spend some of that planning some posts. And I may or may not force a certain someone to write a post for next Monday. 

Anyway! Some good news! I FINALLY finished my Chapter 15 edit! That I more or less have been working on since February. And by more or less I mean I spent most of that time avoiding it. But it's done! And it was the last really in depth make out scene in the book so I'm really glad because I seriously ran out of ways to describe kissing. 

Now I'm onto Chapter 16...which, as usual, is going slower than I'd hoped. But this time it's more of a time/energy/enough coffee deal than me avoiding it. There is a lot of potential symbolism in this chapter that I'm just NOW realizing I really didn't explore enough. On the third draft. I make so much sense. 

I'm also waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay behind on my reading goals. July was my Harry Potter reread month, and I'm still on Prisoner of Azkaban. Yeah. In my defense, I started very late...because I was behind on my June books...because I was behind on my May books. You get it. August is supposed to be my blogger buddies' books month! Because I have so many on my Kindle! That means if you're reading this and you have a book published, there's a good chance your book is on my list! But I don't know if I should finish Harry Potter first, put HP aside to start the blogger buddies, or try to read both simultaneously. 

I am seriously doubting if I'll actually make it to 100 books this year. But I'm not giving up. I've still read a lot more books than I have in any previous year. 

And that's about it. Next week is my birthday (!) and I am a) not working after Monday, b) going to see Moulin Rouge (the musical!), and c) having lots of time to myself because hubby is going to Boston Comic Con for three days. So hopefully that will be lots of reading and writing time. I also get to cheat on my diet. 

Are you behind on any goals?

Ramblin' Time

**It's the first Wednesday TUESDAY! (silly holidays) of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!**

It's one of those days where I don't know what to write about (every day??). I'm not sure if I have no ideas or too many ideas. So I apologize if this post ends up being filled with rambling. 

The IWSG Twitter Pitch is coming up aaaaaaaaaaaaaand...there's no way I'll be participating, even though I really wanted to. For multiple reasons, but the main one being, MY BOOK ISN'T DONE. Probably not a good idea to pitch a book that's not done, right? Just ask...oh, yeah, me when I tried PitchWars *shudders*. Never again. Oh, and I'm still stuck on Chapter 15 for those of you keeping score at home. I'm lucky if I can get one sentence written a day.

My other big reason for not doing the Twitter pitch is that I'm still not quite sure on what age range to pitch my book to. It's complicated. I've gone back and forth between thinking it was YA and then thinking it should be Adult, and then changing my mind again and again and again. So the book is front the point of view of a fifteen-year-old, and it does have some coming of age elements, but I'm not entirely sure this is a book should be marketed to minors. I'm also not so sure if adults would even want to read it, though. Basically, I've written an unsellable book. I don't think, "I swear it's good!" is a great selling point.

But maybe when I actually finish the thing I'll let some people read it and get their input. 

And now for something completely different...

This month's optional question is: What are your ultimate writing goals, and how have they changed over time (if at all)?

I guess my goal has always been to publish a book, so that has never changed. But I think the goals change depending on the WIP. For UL, obviously the first step would be to publish it. Then comes the movie deal, of course. Ok, not really (but maybe). Then I would want to figure out if my sequel ideas are actually worth pursuing. Aaaaaaaaand that's pretty much it. Then there's other story ideas, of course (shiny!). 

All right, I'm done rambling. For now.

Blog Post Scrambling & Title Struggling

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

So, a funny thing happened to me at work today. There I was, walking around, minding my own business, when it suddenly hit me that a) it was already Wednesday, and b) I FORGOT TO WRITE MY BLOG POST!!!! I've come close to forgetting before, but I've never actually forgotten. So now that I am home from work I am scrambling to write it, and hopefully I'll still have some time and energy to get around to some other blogs. (If not, tomorrow's my day off so I'll be playing catch up!) 

Anyhoo, since I'm scrambling, this is a perfect opportunity to utilize the IWSG's optional question of month! Which is: What's harder for you to come up with, book titles or character names? 

This is an easy one for me. BOOK TITLES. *cough* Definitely book titles. Book titles are a serious struggle for me. They can take years. Character names, on the other hand--piece of cake! Most of the time it's like I'm not even naming them at all. It's more like their names just pop into my head, like the characters are telling me the names they already have. 

Example time! When I first started writing Uneven Lines, once I figured out an idea of who the characters were, their names pretty much popped into my head instantaneously (clearly Jordan is the type of pushy character who would name himself). 

The title on the other hand, took a loooooooooooooooooong time. When it was originally a short story, it was called "Saying Yes," which did work considering some of the elements in that story. But when I started adapting, I changed a lot and that title just didn't work anymore. So it went to titleless. About two years later I came up another title, The Formula. It kinda sorta worked and I did like it but it just didn't feel good enough. It was boring. 

About eight months after that I finally settled on my current title, but not without some struggling. The words actually came to me individually. I'd always felt "Uneven" should be in the title, because that's representative of a lot of aspects of my characters' relationships. Then eventually I realized "Lines" was also a good fit, because there's actual math in the book, as well as a hell of a lot of figurative lines (like, lines being crossed in particular). And so I finally had it! And it's been over four years without a change. 

So, long story short, I struggle way more with book titles than character names. Shiny New Story is still called Shiny New Story. Pretty much all of my other book ideas are titleless, including the potential sequels for UL. But character names? Usually all I have to do is listen. 

Jordan Takes Over: It's a Trap!

**The first Monday of the month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**

I know, I know--I haven't been here in forever. It's not that I didn't want to. Well, ok, maybe I didn't want to. But, I mean, do you really want to listen to me ramble unless I have something really good to say? Real life conversations? Easy. Blog topics? Not so much.

Anyway, why did I decide to show up today? I was tricked, thank you very much. Ok, it went like this:

Sarah: Are you writing a blog post for Monday?
Me: Pass.
Well, fine. You know what? You can't write a blog post. 
Excuse me?
I'm not letting you. 
GIVE ME THAT LAPTOP.

Dammit, reverse psychology really works on me. I mean, you tell me I can't have/do something (or someone...), whooooooooaaaaaaa watch out. So now that I'm here, what do I write about?

Hold on a second, someone left a plate of cookies here! That's...suspiciously thoughtful. Well, ok, I guess Sarah knew the whole time that the reverse psychology was gonna work and I'd be here, so maybe the cookies are a peace offering. And I don't say know to dessert. I'll just have one...or ten.

Where was I? Oh, right, blogging. The thing I'm supposed to be doing right now. Listen, it's not my fault when you just drop cookies in front of me. Sugar. My only weakness.

So apparently Sarah has a staycation next week. Which apparently also means that I'm supposed to be on full time muse duty next week. FAT CHANCE. No one asked me about my schedule. I'm extremely busy. I've got...you know...gigs. Snacks. Naps. Very important stuff. Did anyone clear this with Adam? You know, he's way more organized than me. Where is he, anyway?

OOooooooooooo there's cupcakes, too! What's going on here? Some kind of dessert buffet? I mean, really, I'm not disappointed, but if Sarah had just told me there'd be dessert, then she wouldn't have had to do the whole reverse psychology thing. Well, I guess I could have grabbed the food and ran away. Ok, maybe she knows me too well.

So, right. Staycation. *sigh* A whole damn week and she expects constant writing? Yeah, when has that ever happened? Ok, when we first started writing this story, but that was like, seven years ago. When has it happened since then? Huh? NEVER. That's right. So why exactly does she think it's gonna happen now??

Wait a second. MORE DESSERT? Oh look! Pie! Ha. Ok, this is a little weird. It's like...there's too much dessert. Something's kinda off here. What kind of pie is that, anyway? Wait...is that...KEY LIME?

OH F---------

*a giant net falls* 

What the....AGGGGGGGGGGH. I knew it! The dessert buffet was a trap! This whole thing was a trap! But wait a second...who would....YOU! This is not right. You are not this crafty.
Yeah, but I've had you living in my head for seven years. It rubs off. 
That's what---
DON'T EVEN. 
Wait a second, did you do something to Adam?
He's indisposed at the moment. That way he can't distract me with Book 3 ideas and he can't distract you with his hair. 
Yeah, but, where is he?
Tied to a chair somewhere. It's ok. Muses don't need to eat.
I beg to differ.
Come on, we're gonna finish this damn novel. 
The whole thing? But there's so much work to do!
Which is exactly why you're not going anywhere! *starts dragging net*

I just want it on the record that I was tricked and KIDNAPPED and any words produced and/or edited were done against my will. Is there a muse's union? I'm calling my rep.

JP