Fun Facts: I Wish...

Time for another round of ramblings! It's better than nothing, right? Tonight's edition is a list of things that I wish for, some big, some small. Some have to do with writing, others don't. But it was fun.

I wish…

• I could eliminate 98% of my social awkwardness. I think 2% is good for being quirky and adorable, don’t you? 
• Writing burned lots and lots of calories. 
• I was more stylish. 
• I had 20/20 vision. Or like, 30 pairs of glasses. Because, you know…STYLISH. 
• I had an apartment with two rooms. 
• I hated cheesecake. But I don’t. I really don’t. 
• That my book will be turned into a movie and I get to write the screenplay and I get my dream cast and we all win Oscars! Totally realistic, right? 
• I could make friends more easily. And also had a real life gay best friend. That’s probably why I created one to live in my head… 
• I had a library like Henry Higgins in My Fair Lady. 
• I didn’t look horrible in every single picture of myself. I mean, every. Single. One. 
• That I could change at least one person’s life with my writing. 

Well, that's it (for now). What sorts of things do you wish for?

The Formula Playlist...oh yeah, and a title, or something...

For today's Muse Mondays post, I thought I'd share some inspiration that I'm sure most writers can relate to: music. We'd probably go insane without it. While silence is golden when you're actually trying to write, it can also drive you nuts if it goes on for too long. So what do you fill that silence with? Not something that will distract, but inspire.

I'm an absolute nut for playlists. I've been making them for my books since I was thirteen. It's a lot of fun to come across a song that you can relate to your own writing. It can help you understand what your characters are feeling. And when choosing songs for your playlist, you don't have to limit yourself to the viewpoint of just one character, even if you only write from that character's point of view. And if you get stuck, listening to the songs you've picked can help inspire you to keep going.

So I thought I'd share my playlist for my book. I was just going to list the songs, but through the magic of Spotify, you can also listen to them if you'd like.

But first! I've decided to share the title for my WIP. It's called The Formula (I'd italicize but since I haven't even finished yet, it seems a bit strange). This was just my placeholder title for the contest entry, but it's been growing on me. Sort of like an arranged marriage, I'm gradually growing to love it. I plucked it out of my fifth chapter, when my characters are trying to decide what to do with their attraction for one another: "This was a lot like a math problem--there was one precise answer that was going to make everything work. All I was missing was the formula." Hey, I can make math work symbolically, too.

Well, I hope you enjoy the playlist. Since I have to go to work now for almost twelve hours, I would absolutely love it if somebody got to.

Pasta Murder, or, Cannibalism Symbolism

I had this dream once where my characters were partaking in cannibalism. So instead of deciding what sort of sexual act would be appropriate, it was more like, “Well, if I just slice off some of your leg, it won’t kill you, so let’s do that.” When I woke up, I was horrified and confused, and slightly nauseated. I mean, I love dreaming about my characters, but then it finally happens and this is what I get?

It took me a few months to realize that my subconscious was, as usual, way ahead of me. And if I’m going to be honest, I’ve had a mild fascination with cannibalism since I was little. There’s something sexual about it, even though the realistic thought of it nauseates me. So what if I think of it symbolically? If I boiled it down, my book is about food and hunger and sex and consumption. Suddenly I realized that my dream wasn’t really that off track.

I’m crazy about symbolism. But I love it even more when it’s so ridiculously subtle that most of my readers won’t even get it. I know, it’s weird, but I like that sort of ambiguity. That’s exactly what I wanted to do when I decided to use cannibalism as symbolism in my novel. Ok, bear with me. One of my characters is a cook and a repressed ephebophile (like a pedophile, but attracted to post-pubescent teenagers). And the other is basically offering himself up in exchange for getting the things that he wants. He exchanges sexual favors for food, so he puts himself on the same level as food, as something being consumed. Genius, right?! You can say crazy; it’s ok.

The hard part is figuring out how to work in this sort of symbolism. One of my favorite lines that I’ve written is, “Of course, if I got a taste, then he got one, too.” But I have to go beyond just some random little quips. Since I’m constantly writing about food, I figured I could parallel these ideas of hunger and consuming—not just how they relate to food, but to sexuality.

And so…food equals murder.

Before my characters have their first kiss, one of them is making pasta from scratch—the idea being that he is as careful and delicate with his ingredients as he eventually is with my narrator once they become intimate. But once dinner is ready, the narrator sees the vibrant red tomato sauce and thinks of blood spattered against a wall. Then as he eats, he uses words like “severed” and “stabbing” and “attacked.” To most readers, this might go unnoticed—he’s just really hungry. But to some it might seem like a violent, animalistic moment. And honestly, either way is fine with me.

I can’t help myself when I get an idea I love. I just run with it. Even if it only makes sense to me.

 My actual notes from editing the pasta scene. :)

Why You Should Write Every Day

Aaaaaand we're back for another Muse Monday! I've been thinking a lot lately about the balance between inspiration, motivation, and focus. You really need all three to get anything done. But sometimes it's hard to work through the fog of limited time and self-doubt. Sometimes you lose that motivation. How can you get it back?

I have a new goal for myself, and it's a very simple one: write something every day. It's not a huge, daunting goal. I'm not setting any word counts here. Because I realized that while making progress with your work is important, it isn't always what's going to motivate you.

I think writing every day is important for two reasons: keeping the creative energy alive and having a sense of accomplishment. If you go days without fueling your creative outlet, doesn't it just drain you of something? It can leave you feeling depressed and less willing to work on your writing at all. If you're a creative person, then you have to feed that energy. How can you be yourself if you don't?

Just writing anything can help you feel more accomplished, even if it's just a little bit. You can still say that you got something done, and hopefully that will generate more motivation for the next day. How many times have you said, "oh, I'll get something done tomorrow," and when tomorrow comes, you're saying the same thing? You've got to break yourself of that cycle in order to get anything done.

Don't overexert yourself. Just--for the love of God--write! It can be a note, a scribble, a thought. Anything. Just get it down.

When You're Just Not Feeling It...

I've been in such a rut. Ever since I finished my contest entry, it's been hard to focus on any writing. I thought maybe I just needed a break, but since I can never stop thinking about my writing, it was hard to take a real one. But every time I opened up the laptop and stared at the contents of my flash drive, I found myself just reading my work and not actually adding anything to it. This is fine--sometimes--because you really should enjoy your own writing, but I was craving progress.

Even when I felt the itch to write, I couldn't focus enough on one particular moment to work on. Nothing interested me. Even all of my ideas for blog posts or poems that had seemed so intriguing a week before left me with a blah feeling. So that's when I realized....I just wasn't feeling it.

It's going to happen from time to time, when you just don't want to write, or you don't know what to write. Don't fight it. It will only lead to more frustration. I think one way to cure this is to indulge. Write something pointless. This was how my sequel came about. I like to picture my characters after the story is over. Or don't write at all. Sit on your bed for hours stuffing your face and watching Netflix (Did I do that all day yesterday? Perhaps.).

Another option is to visualize. You don't have to commit to any writing, but keep thinking about your work. Maybe it will help you figure something out. It might even lead to words forming in your mind. But don't be disappointed if it doesn't. The important thing is just to keep the story alive in your mind. And if you're in love with your story, this will be a form of indulgence, too.

The most important thing is: don't panic! This has happened before, and it will happen again. You've just got to find your own way of getting through it.

Writer's Block Pie

Welcome to the first installment of Food Fridays! Where my love of food and cooking meets my love of writing, because, well, a good chunk of my WIP is about food. It's funny because while I love cooking, I'm really not that good at it. But I try.

This first little vignette has been long overdue, months--a couple years, even. Because I sort of have this obsession with reenacting the food moments from my book. The first chapter ends with Jordan eating an entire key lime pie in one sitting (come on, you could do it, too, if you were a teenage boy). The whole point of this scene is to show him giving in to a private, animalistic side. The food becomes symbolic for a sort of hunger for life.

But anyway, the book isn't what's important here. It's the pie. Because this scene has existed from the book's very first incarnation, and since I'm completely insane about these things, it was only natural for me to make the signature pie. But for the longest time, I didn't make it.

I don't know why I put it off for so long. Maybe it was too important. Maybe I just didn't want to screw it up. But finally, last June, I decided to do it. I was having an enormous case of writer's block, and needed a way to break it. I was completely convinced that making this pie would instantly cure my writer's block the moment I took the first bite. There was no question in my mind about it.

Here's the major problem: I live in a tiny studio apartment with a tiny oven and barely any counter space. My oven doesn't even tell me when it's done preheating. But I had a mission, dammit, and I was going to accomplish it. Making the pie wasn't hard, but once it got in the oven, it was out of my hands. And when it was supposed to be done, well, it wasn't. The center wasn't cooking as fast as it should have, but while I was forced to leave the pie in the oven, the crust started to overcook. Eventually I had to make the decision that it was good enough and took it out.

Next was the meringue, which, in all honesty, I shouldn't have tackled in the first place. It took forever to beat the egg whites to the right consistency. And then about the second after I placed it under the broiler, it started to burn. I got it out in enough time so that it wasn't a total disaster, but I still felt like a complete failure. This was supposed to be a great homage to my book and a cure to my devastating writer's block. And all I had was a slightly burnt pie.

But I wasn't completely giving up hope. In true obsessive fashion, I attacked the pie with a fork, because that's they way it happens in the book (slices are for weaklings). I gave a second fork to my boyfriend, because I sure as hell couldn't do it on my own. We ate straight from the center, and while it wasn't the greatest thing I've ever eaten, it was pretty decent.

I know what you're wondering. Did my magical pie cure the writer's block? OF COURSE NOT. You probably knew that from the very beginning. It would be great if pie could cure writer's block. But really the only thing that cures it is effort--effort in writing or just eliminating self-doubt.

But still, it had to be done. And I'll probably do it again. Hopefully with better results.

The Procrastination Solution

I was going to title this post “How to Deal with Deadlines,” but I realized I actually don’t have the answer to this problem. I’m by no means a professional writer, and don’t have experience in meeting a deadline for a manuscript or article. And setting goals for myself never goes very well. However, since last week I had to finish a novel draft for a contest deadline, I was having flashbacks to high school and college when I would always wait until the last minute to get something done. While I wouldn’t recommend procrastination if you have no experience—if you’re good at getting things done early, more power to you—I do have some tips for the amateurs and even the most skilled of procrastinators.

1. It’s all about PRESSURE. What’s more likely to light a fire under your ass than the fact that you absolutely have no choice but to get your work done? It’s either get it done or fail, or you may even lose money or integrity if this is a professional piece. So what else can you do when you have only a few hours left? Pressure leads to greater concentration. 
2. Make a sacrifice to the caffeine gods. Who needs sleep when you’ve got all this great writing to do? The more sleep-deprived you are, the crazier you are, and so your ideas could be more interesting! You know what? Skip the quadruple shot latte and invest in an IV that drips espresso.
3. Commercial breaks. Sometimes concentrating too much on one thing can be overwhelming. Maybe there’s a marathon of your favorite TV show on at the same time you’re doing your work. The mute button is now your best friend. You can turn it into a game and see how much work you can get done during one commercial break before you can relax for a few minutes and watch your favorite detectives solve a murder.
4. Take a shower. I figured this one out in high school. When the ideas weren’t coming together, I’d take a break and hop in the shower to wash my hair. There are no distractions and you can be alone with your thoughts. I would always have some sort of epiphany under the hot water.
5. Don’t panic. Don’t bother asking yourself WHY you waited so long to do this. That’s irrelevant now and it probably won’t make a difference the next time. Don’t fight your nature. You were born a procrastinator and you’ll probably stay that way. Just fight onward! Every time you’re successful will just reinforce the fact that you were right to procrastinate in the first place.

I’m sorry, I have no idea how serious I was trying to be anymore. Maybe I shouldn’t have put this off until nine o’clock…

To Write or Edit?

So the good news is that on Friday, I completed my contest submission (much thanks to my muse for putting up with depression and PMS to get through it). I sent in the first fifty pages of my novel about two hours shy of the deadline, along with a painstakingly crafted outline—you know how I hate those.

Now the only question is: what do I do now? My editing process brought me through the first five chapters (after completely cutting Chapter Two) out of the eleven I had written. So do I plow onward with the editing, or jump back to Chapter Twelve? It’s a tough decision. I feel as though I’ve been avoiding the next chapter for a while, and not just because of the contest, but because I know it will be difficult to write. A huge part of me just wants to pick up where I left off and finish the book, and finally have a complete first draft.

On the other hand, it makes more sense to keep editing. If I move into the final round of this contest, I’ll need to submit the next fifty pages as well, probably sometime in June. Wouldn’t it be easier just to have it done already, just in case?

Also, I’ve been so focused on the beginning of the book that it might be a little weird to jump ahead. I’ve gotten into a groove with the voice and tone, and to write a part where my characters are at a different stage of their relationship might be a little odd. I might want to get through what I’ve already written and edit it to how I want it to be, then when I start writing again, what needs to happen and how the characters should act will be much clearer.

Plus—bonus! The next chapter I would have to edit includes the scene when my characters (finally) have their first kiss. Which I just love. Side note—is it totally wrong of me to think my characters are adorable? Am I some kind of sick pervert? Or do I just spend WAY too much time with them?

Anyway, I think the answer is clear. It might be a little unconventional, but I think the universe (and muse) is telling me to edit what I already have first. Who knows, it may make writing the second half of the book even easier, because I’ll have a better perspective on what I want the book to be as a whole.

It’s always important to follow your instincts, and just see what you get from it. 

The Power of Focus

It’s hard to say who has a shorter attention span, me or Jordan. It’s actually a big point in the first few chapters of my book how distracted he gets, even though sometimes he’s faking it. So you can imagine that he doesn’t exactly provide full-time inspiration. And me? I take forever to get the creative process going. I have to listen to music, then sit in silence (if there aren’t sirens or blaring music from the church across the street or my neighbors aren’t screaming), and then when I finally get a few sentences down, my stomach starts growling. And since I can’t write and eat, I’ll turn on the TV and then get sucked in to watching it for hours and hours and what was I trying to do in the first place? Writing?!

It’s difficult to stay focused, even when I’m desperate to get something done. Sometimes I wish I could get some sort of tunnel vision where all I can see is my laptop and I can’t hear anything from the outside world.

Focus is different from inspiration. Inspiration is what makes you want to write; it’s where you get your ideas from. Sometimes it can be completely out of your control. Focus is what you need after you already have your inspiration. You need to pull from a lot of things in order to have the right focus—inspiration, yes, but also motivation and will power. It’s easy to get distracted by everyday things, but also by the big picture sort of things. If you start worrying about how you’re going to succeed and get your book published before you’ve even finished the first chapter, then you’ve already lost focus. You don’t want to get too ahead of yourself, get too distracted by life and lose that wonderful inspiration that made you start this to begin with.

Just keep your attention on the task at hand. Find out what works for you. You may have a nice, quiet space where you do your writing. If you write better with a notebook or a computer, don’t try to force yourself to do the opposite. I once thought it might be a good idea to go to the beach with a notebook, but since my muse likes to provide digital inspiration, I couldn’t get out a single word. Find a song or two that gets you in the right mood, or reflects whatever scene you’re working on. Or read a passage of a book that inspires you. But once you’re finished honing all this great inspiration, it’s time to focus on your work, your writing. Don’t let the outside world, or even your own doubts, ruin your concentration.

And if you have to shoo the cat away, then so be it. 

Challenge Results: How I Crashed and Burned

I was going to push this until around midnight, but I since I already feel like going to bed...

I'm not going to make excuses (WORK! IT WAS WORK! Also, it took me all day yesterday to write one scene. Do you know how difficult it is to have your characters flirt while writing a geometric proof?), but obviously, and not surprisingly, I did not even come close to my 20 page goal. The final count: 7 1/2 pages. So not even half.

Which isn't to say that all the effort got me nowhere. I finished two chapter revisions and I have 28 out of the 50 pages I need for the contest entry. I feel good about where these revisions are going and the consistency in the voice. I feel more motivation now than when I was about halfway through the book.

I guess the moral of the story is that it's good to challenge yourself. But also, don't hold yourself to too high of a standard. It's ok once in a while to set a goal that you know you won't reach, just because you'll work so hard and end up getting a lot done in the process. But doing this over and over again can lead to a lot of disappointment, and you may lose your motivation altogether.

So, yes, challenge yourself. But don't be ridiculous.

Challenge Check-In #2

Ok, I just got off a 10 hour shift, so I'll keep this brief. I'm on the verge of passing out. Plus my boyfriend will NOT stop talking to me.

As of tonight, I'm at 4 1/4 pages. I know, it's abysmal. I spent more time yesterday watching YouTube videos on geometric proofs than I did writing. But hey, you gotta do research.

So it's crunch time! I'm hoping to get at least 10 pages done tomorrow, then finish up on Friday night.

Bring on the coffee!

Challenge Check-In #1

So, how am I doing with the challenge? I worked a double today (blech!) so here's a quick summary.

The bad news: I only have two and a half pages done out of twenty.

The good news: I have most of the day tomorrow before work to get some writing done.

The better news: I have ALL of Thursday off.

The worse news: I'm working another double on Wednesday. Gotta love school vacation week!

The worst news: Still no title.

The best news: Since the contest entry I'm working on is double spaced and my challenge is single spaced, by finishing the challenge, I'll have the entry done.

The news of impending doom: I have to do laundry tomorrow.

The Muse-iversary Challenge

I really hope two is my lucky number.

So today marks the two year anniversary of when I first started my work in progress. Two ridiculous, insanity filled years. And I don't have much to show for it besides a whole lot of ideas and several unfinished Word documents. Of course when I started, I didn't realize how much this little idea was going to change everything.

There's also two weeks left until the deadline for the contest I'm hoping to enter. I have eleven pages done out of the fifty I need. Plus I need to outline the entire novel. And come up with a title, which I obviously haven't been able to do for two years.

I've come to realize that while I certainly don't lack passion, I have a problem with motivation. I get distracted easily. I struggle through scenes. But there was a time when it was a lot easier.

I've decided to challenge myself. When I first started this, I busted out a nineteen-page short story in just a week. I haven't had that sort of drive ever since. I’ve worried that I’m chasing a high I’ll never feel again. So I want to recreate it. I want to force myself to write that fast, to turn my passion into motivation, and thus into words on the page. So over the course of the next week, I'm going to keep track of my writing. And I want to beat my first record. By next Friday, I'm hoping to write twenty pages. If I can grasp that drive I once felt, maybe I can hold onto it, then get the fifty pages done, then the entire first draft, and so on...

This may seem like a measly task to some, but on some days I struggle just to get one page done. I think a challenge may be just the sort of kick start I need. Planning and outlining are usually my downfall, but in this case, I'm trying to rekindle what I started two years ago. To be unstoppable.

So I'll be checking in on Monday and Wednesday with my page counts and what has been working or not. Then hopefully, on Friday, I'll be able to say that I was successful.

And happy anniversary to my darling muse. I know you don't care. <3

The First Line

Every story has a beginning. More specifically, every written story has a first line that sends the reader into the world of that story. Like me, you’ve probably read from dozens of books or blogs that state just how important it is to have a well-crafted first line. While this is certainly true, if you focus too much on making it perfect, especially in a first draft, you could be headed for disaster. Or even a broken heart.

I’m going to say something that I didn’t even realize I believed until I started writing this. The first line isn’t as important as people make it out to be. Think about some of your favorite books. Do you remember the first lines off the top of your head? Probably not. But at the same time, if you look back at those books and read the first lines, they’ll most likely resonate with you. So while it isn’t necessarily going to make or break your whole novel, it is important.

The first line is a fickle creature. You need the perfect balance of vagueness and intrigue. You don’t want to give away the whole novel in the first line, but you do want to give away enough to make the reader curious. It can be simple, but not dull. Sometimes a simpler sentence will be more intriguing than a complicated one. And it will be a jumping off point for the next few paragraphs or pages, where you will have more space to expand your ideas and themes.

Once you have that first line written, keep going with your story, but every so often go back and see if the first line is still a good fit. Even if you think it’s perfect, take another look. Because while writing the first line can be difficult, rewriting it can be even harder. If you leave it alone and move on, you become used to it, and thus attached to it. You won’t see any other way of starting your novel besides that one sentence. So when it comes time to really edit, you’ll be incapable of seeing its flaws. Because to you, it’s already perfect.

Let me explain more about the attachment. I’m in an interesting situation because of a contest I’m looking to enter for novels-in-progress. I’m just over halfway through my work-in-progress, but now I’m forced to go back and edit from the beginning in order to submit the first fifty pages. So it’s kind of like draft 1.5. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but I feel I have time to make it better from what I already have.

So of course, the first thing I looked at was the first line. When I adapted the first chapter from the short story I wrote, I didn’t change the first line. This could have been a huge mistake, except for the fact that I already wasn’t satisfied with it, just didn’t know how to improve it at the time. I’ve had this experience before, where I became so attached to the first line of a novel I rewrote twice, that when I looked back on it, it didn’t seem to make sense anymore. But at the same time, I felt that I couldn’t change it. How could I possibly change it when this had been the only way to open the story for the three years I had been working on it?

This time around I approached it differently. What I focused more on was what the words were saying, and not how they were saying it. The idea behind it was more important than the phrasing. Here is the original first line as I had written it:

            I started failing geometry right around the time that I stopped liking girls.

I knew that these two details were important to the first line. Creating a sort of parallel between them seemed important to start the story off, because by the end of the chapter, my narrator has a crush on his male math tutor, which is the jumping off point for the entire story. So the context was never a problem, but I was never satisfied with the wording. It seemed a bit clumsy and also didn’t provide a proper insight into his character. Here is how I rewrote it:

            I decided to fail geometry around the same time that I stopped going out with girls.

My first goal was the fix the choppy writing that existed in the first draft, which wasn’t all that difficult. But I tweaked a few things not only to make the voice clearer, but to get the reader to keep going. I wanted to make it clear that his failing is a choice from the very beginning, at the same time that he chooses to stop dating girls. Nothing is accidental for him. And hopefully, the reader will be intrigued enough to keep going, to discover why he has made these choices.

Am I done? Probably not. But like any rewriting, it’s a process. You write, then rewrite, then rewrite again. Then when you finally get published the editors may change it, too. I would advise you to constantly rewrite your first line, even if it’s just a word at a time. Or at least keep in mind that it needs to change. You may not have the right perspective until you finish the entire first draft. 

The Blame Game

I do this a lot, and I’m really sorry. I’ll blog for a while, then stop for a really long time, and then come back saying how I’m gonna do things differently. And I never follow through. There are a lot of reasons and I seem to be trying to explain them to you every few months or so. I know the muse thing is my gimmick (I say this only to keep you from thinking I’m insane, ‘cause, you know, he’s real and everything…). But I also have to take the blame for my lack of writing. It’s easy to blame the fact that you can’t write on your imaginary friend. I'll spare you all my lame excuses or a thorough plan of how I'm going to fix everything. My plan is a bit simpler this time. 

1. Stop trying to plan.

I really, really, do want to blog three times a week. And I have ideas for certain days. And I'm going to try. But if I try to schedule myself, it never works, and I just end up doing nothing. So my goal is to just write. Even if I end up rambling about nonsense for an entire post, then that's ok. 

2. Accept the muse for all his flaws. That's why I love him. 

Do you think it's easy being platonically in love with an impulsive, promiscuous little sociopath? Because it's not. But I did create him so I have to live with him. Writing my book certainly isn't going to happen without him. Imagine if you spent years on your work in progress and then suddenly had to completely change your main character? Sounds heartbreaking, doesn't it? You're probably curling up into the fetal position just thinking about it. I have no intentions of getting rid of him, and probably couldn't even if I tried. 

3. Accept my own flaws. 

Yes, I struggle with getting things done. I get depressed. I hate my job. I have no time. I have next to no self-confidence. But I wouldn't be doing this if there wasn't a reason, if I didn't feel I have a story worth telling. I've never been that good at telling my own story, but creating something out of thin air seems to be worthwhile. I've seen stories unfolding in my head since I was eight years old. I don't really understand how other people don't. 

So that's it. If I blog three times a week, or even once a week, then at least I'll be accomplishing something. And maybe by some miracle I'll get my book done. Or come up with a title. Fingers crossed. 

Fun Facts: Volume Two

I'm finishing up a chapter tonight (hopefully) so as a fun little side project I've been making a list of things my characters are always doing. You probably don't notice these things when you talk to someone in real life--the sighs, shrugs, and all the tiny little movements we make that reflect our moods or what we're saying. In writing, these things are usually filler, especially in scenes with a lot of dialogue. They help make the scene more real and break up the line after line of speech. However, if you're like me, you end up using the same actions again and again. And again. Sometimes this can be useful, if say, one character has a particular trait that is shown regularly. But when you're constantly bombarding the reader with these little action tags, they might learn to just glaze over them to get to the juicy dialogue. So this is my list, and I am most certainly poking fun at myself. Maybe you'll notice the same things you make your characters do.

Things My Characters are Always Doing

• Sighing
• Shrugging
• Smirking
• Rolling eyes
• Frowning--This wouldn't be so bad, but having a first person narrator realize that he’s doing it feels a bit odd
• Smiling sadly--EEK! An adverb! With an oxymoron! Kill it! KILL IT!
• Glaring at each other/eyes narrowing--If I put Jordan and his mother in a scene, my God...I'm surprised they can see enough to walk around with all the glaring.
• Staring
• Grinning
• Taking deep breaths/exhaling slowly
• Sticking tongues out--Ok, that's pretty much just Jordan. He's a cranky little boy who likes getting his way.
• Shaking heads--Interesting note, not a lot of nodding. Apparently my characters are always disagreeing with each other. 
• Groaning--In frustration! My God, get your mind out of the gutter!
• Moaning--Ok, proceed to the gutter...
• Snatching things--cell phones, wrists, and a chin once to steal a kiss, but I'm not getting rid of that. It was adorable. 

I'm sure there's more, but these are my worst offenses. I hope they were good for a laugh.

Ch-ch-changes...

Just in case somebody wanders on here today or early tomorrow, I'm in the process of changing the look of my blog. So far just the template, and I probably won't work out all the kinks until tomorrow (day off, woo!). So if it seems weird, or if you've been here before and you have no idea what's going on, just bear with me! Or if you've never been here before, by all means, keep reading.

<3 Sarah

But no love from Jordan. He told me to tell you that.

The Problem with Chapter Nine

If you’re like me (crazy), as you write your novel, each new chapter becomes your favorite one. I feel this is a good thing; at least on some level, this points to improvement in your draft. Either you’re enjoying the story more as you get into it, or you feel your writing is getting stronger as you go along. The only downside is that each new chapter has to live up to its predecessor. Not every chapter, or at least every scene, is always going to leave you on the edge of your seat. So what about those in between moments? What do you do when you have a scene that is entirely necessary to the plot, but just not that exciting?

I finished Chapter Eight of my novel about two months ago. While I certainly haven’t stopped writing since then, I just can’t bring myself to complete the next chapter. I’ve been writing random parts of the story—namely, the scenes that interest me. Because while I have the entire next chapter planned out, I’ve recently come to the conclusion that it’s just not all that interesting. The logical step would be to cut it, right? Therein lies the other problem. Skipping to the next chapter would leave a gaping hole in the narrative. I guess the whole point to my book is to show the very slow progression of a relationship. In the next important scene, the characters are too close, too familiar with one another. They weren’t at this point at the end of Chapter Eight. So I still have to get them there.

I guess the problem with Chapter Nine is that nothing exciting or earth shattering happens. I’ve tried everything to spice it up—amusing dialogue, sexy make out scenes, etc., etc. But I can’t shake the feeling that something is missing. How do you deal with this sort of downtime within your narrative? If you think about real life, obviously not every moment is exciting. In fact, excitement is rare. But you don’t want to bore your readers with the mundane everyday life. What’s the solution?

This is the part where I’m supposed to tell you the solution. Well, obviously I don’t have it, or this chapter would be complete. But I do have some theories. An overly exciting book can be interesting, but exhausting (The Da Vinci Code comes to mind, where every two page chapter ends with a cliffhanger). But on the flip side, a book where nothing happens will never keep the reader’s attention. Forgive me for the most extreme of clichés, but you should treat your narrative like a roller coaster. There are the moments that build up with suspense, the high points that are intense and exciting, and then the low moments that come in between. If you need a slow moment in your book, the most important thing to consider is what purpose it serves. Does it help the reader recover from an intense scene that happened before? Is it building up to the next one? What are we learning about the characters?

So far my plan of action has been to skip ahead. There’s an important scene in Chapter Ten that I’ve almost completed. Once it’s done, I’ll look back, see what’s missing from the end of Chapter Eight until this particular moment. What needs to be said or done to get my characters to this point? Then what’s important—what’s necessary, even—will be much clearer. If Chapter Nine ends up being a short chapter, then that’s all right, if that’s what it needs to be. It’s important to listen to your narrative; sometimes it will tell you what it needs. 

The Fight Scene

The first rule of fight scenes is you do not talk about fight scenes. No, wait, that’s fight club. Fight scenes, you have to talk about. If you have a fight scene in your novel, then you won’t want to just skim over it. There has to be a reason for it, so the reader should be able to experience it fully—be in the moment, feeling all the rage, heart pounding, and blood spattering that your characters are experiencing. Of course, there are two kinds of fight scenes, and I actually have both in my WIP. One is your average teenage boy scuffle (cliché? Perhaps. Bear with me) and the other is a heated argument between lovers.

Honestly, for me at least, I find the physical fights easier to write. You have to be so in the moment, so focused on the physical elements that you don’t really need to focus on anything else. If your character is in a fight, how much time do they really have to think about their next move before their opponent strikes? The pace on the page should follow this sort of mindset. It’s not like a video game where you hit your opponent, then do nothing as they hit you, then bounce around while you decide which attack to use next. If someone is hitting you, then you’re probably at least trying to shield yourself, if not hitting back. Is your character being attacked or did they start the fight? Their fighting techniques may be different, depending on whether they’re trying to inflict pain or just avoid it. Unless it’s an epic battle or climactic shootout, it’ll probably be over quickly (or in my case, broken up by adults). I happen to like this little snippet of a fight scene in Chuck Palahniuk’s Fight Club:

Last week, I tapped a guy and he and I got on the list for a fight. This guy must’ve had a bad week, got both my arms behind my head in a full nelson and rammed my face into the concrete floor until my teeth bit open the inside of my cheek and my eye was swollen shut and was bleeding, and after I said, stop, I could look down and there was a print of half my face in blood on the floor. (51)

The entire fight is summed up in one paragraph, so it’s short, but at the same time graphic and intense. The fight itself is actually one sentence, so it feels almost like a stream of consciousness. You’ll want to be completely in the moment when writing a fight scene. Your character won’t be thinking about the phone call he had the other day, or the homework assignment he has to do tonight. He’ll be thinking about how he was just punched in the jaw, and whether or not he wants to hit back.

Then there’s the other type of fight scene, or the argument. There are several different levels of arguments, from “why didn’t you take out the trash?” to “why did you sleep with my best friend?” If an argument is stemming from a small issue, chances are it will either fizzle out or escalate into something that was never really about the trash in the first place. As the fight goes on, it usually becomes more intense. What starts as a minor disagreement can escalate into screams and insults. Usually with verbal fights, each person always believes that they are right. I find in real life, the most frustrating part of a fight is trying to make the other person listen to you and see that you are right. People generally do not want to listen. You can feel like you’re not being heard, and that just makes you angrier. Think about what you have felt when you’ve argued with someone. There’s a lot of emotion to be found and your characters will probably be at their most out of control. As far as dialogue goes, obviously there will be a lot of it, but you won’t want to overdo it, either. You’ll want to trim it down to the most important lines so it’s not too overwhelming, and unlike a physical fight, there are more opportunities for your characters to be thinking about what they want to say, or even reacting to something they said without thinking.

Of course, the fight will need to come to an end at some point, maybe with one character storming off or slamming a door. You can bring the intensity down to where it started, try to resolve the issue, or you can leave it high and uncomfortable, with your characters still feeling the anger and frustration (which may make the reader immediately start the next chapter, just sayin’). If your characters are angry enough, they may want to hurt each other in order to get the upper hand. For my scene, one character says the worst possible thing he could say to the other, knowing that it will devastate him. If your characters know each other well enough, then they’ll know exactly where to cut the deepest. No matter how you end your fight scene, you’ll want to leave an impact.

You really want to ask yourself why your characters need to fight at all. I realized the reason I had an argument at a particular moment was to throw a wrench in the plot, even move it toward the end. Things can never be the same for the characters after they have this fight. Really, this should be the goal in any verbal fight scene: that things aren’t the same any more. If you have your characters fight only to immediately make up, then why did they fight at all? Maybe you had a different reason for the fight. Maybe the fight revealed something huge, that someone had a secret, they cheated, etc. There are several good reasons, but things can’t go back to just peachy after such a big reveal. Like any other moment in the narrative, the fight has to move the plot forward, even if it’s in a negative direction. If you still want your happy ending, then your characters just have more to work through in order to get there.

Fight scenes, whether physical or verbal, can be intense and emotional. Often the before and after is just as important as the fight itself. I suppose the best advice would be, don’t water it down, and don’t hold back. A weak punch isn’t going to get you very far. 

Friday Night Ramblings

As usual, I thought I was going to blog about one thing and end up blogging about another. I had a set plan in mind, but I've been up since six o'clock this morning after waking up from a dream that I was about to drown in a flood. I tried to be productive but I was tired all day. And I just spent the last four hours packing to-go orders at work, which involves a lot of running back and forth and screaming at people for french fries and extra sauce. And as soon as I got home I stuffed my face, so I'm bound to slip into a coma in about half an hour. I figured I'd get some ramblings done before then. Also, I'm watching The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo for the third time, partly because there's nothing else on TV, partly because I'm almost done reading The Girl who Played with Fire but I'll never be able to keep my eyes open if I start reading, and partly because I have a bit of a crush on Daniel Craig (what?!).

But anyway (agh I'm worse than Jordan...), I had a few ideas today that were worth sharing. I might actually, finally be on the verge of coming up with a title for my book. I don't want to share too much yet because I don't want to jinx it, and there's certainly a good chance that I'll change my mind tomorrow and hate the idea. But I had one of those moments where an idea hits you out of nowhere and you actually gasp when it happens. It wasn't actually a phrase, but sort of an idea that I can work with, probably with the use of a thesaurus and a math book. And several hours.

So that got me to thinking about titles. Sometimes you come up with them before you even begin writing the story; sometimes it takes you months to figure it out. I think it can be hard because how do you sum up your entire work in one phrase, maybe even one word? It seems like you could be trivializing something that is extraordinarily complicated. Plus you want it to be catchy, something that will interest a prospective reader.It's a hard thing to figure out. You have an entire novel full of words to express your ideas, but then you have to pick a select few that will truly sum up those ideas.

The thought of important words brought me to another idea--a project of sorts. I want to make a list of words and phrases, sort of like a stream of consciousness, moving from one to the other without much thought. All of these words will have to do with my book, but on a thematic or symbolic level. Basically what I think the book is really about, not describing plot or characters, but boiling it down to the underlying issues. I think it would be fun and insightful. If you know what you're trying to write about, it'll be easier to focus your ideas.

So if it works out, and if I actually finish it (because it could be never-ending), maybe I'll post it here. Or maybe I'll keep it a secret.

Well, I think it's time to pass out. Goodnight!

The Trouble with Finishing

For Halloween, I was hoping to write a short story about a serial killer to post here. But seeing as I have written only half a page and work is fast approaching, I don’t see it happening. This leads me to think about a big issue with writing, which is simply getting it done.

When you start writing something, isn’t the ultimate goal to finish it? You plan out the entire thing, see every scene and detail clearly in your mind—so why should completing your work ever be difficult?

Time would be the most obvious answer. Most writers who are just starting out probably also have a full time job, one that might have absolutely nothing to do with writing. Maybe you have a routine 9-5 sort of job, but if you’re like me, you have no set schedule and don’t even have the same days off every week. And when you do have free time, there’s still laundry, cleaning, cooking, running errands. There’s also time spent with your significant other, family, friends, cat. And of course the most important thing of all—sleep. It doesn’t leave a lot of free time.

But you’re a writer, so you must write. So you sit down in front of your computer, or with a notebook in your hand, and you end up staring at the blank page. And you know it’s not writer’s block—you want to write! The problem is that you’re actually overthinking it. I do this all the time. I refuse to write even a sentence before it is perfectly crafted in my mind. So I don’t get anywhere. You can’t really make anything perfect on the first try. If you refuse to write anything less than perfect, you probably won’t write anything at all.

But there’s a third factor in this, and it may be the most important one. Odds are you wouldn’t even realize it. Because deep down, somewhere in your subconscious, you don’t want to finish. You’re afraid of the “Now what?” that happens once you’ve finally crafted your masterpiece. That first rush of creative energy that made you write in the first place won’t be there anymore. You’re afraid of editing, of slaughtering your work. You’re afraid of rejection once you try to send it out into the world. But maybe part of you doesn’t want to finish because you don’t want it to be over. There was something that drew you to this particular story, some love of characters or plot, or just an idea. Finishing your work means letting that feeling go.

I’m not sure how to sum this up, how to wrap it up in a nice little bow. I don’t feel I’m in the same place as when I started. But we all know we have to finish, because what else is the goal? What is all the time and energy and passion for? I guess that’s why we keep trudging along.