Before I get into it, let me spoil it by saying I did not get picked by a mentor for PitchWars. I didn't really expect to, but I'm not necessarily sorry I entered. I always get that feeling that my work isn't good enough, so why the hell did I let four people read it? That could be an entire IWSG post in itself, but I decided to have a little bit more fun with this one.
Knowing the PitchWars picks were being announced at midnight, I of course decided to stay up and find out. But as the night slowly (I mean, very slowly) crept toward that time, it got harder and harder to deal with the wait. So here was how I spent my night, trying to kill time and ignore all the anxiety and insecurity that was waiting to take over. Enjoy!
8:00: Watch the making of Frozen special on ABC. Why? What
do you mean WHY? Haven’t you been here before?? Learn a lot of fascinating
stuff and laugh hysterically at least once. Killed an entire hour! Only
looked at PitchWars Twitter feed during commercial breaks, I swear.
9:00: Do my daily routine of exercises—crunches, lunges,
squats, lifting weights, etc.
Go back on laptop to find 33 new tweets on the PW feed. Eat some watermelon. Stalk the feed relentlessly.
9:30: Wash ALL the dishes! Except one. It needs to soak.
Look at the feed again. One mentor I submitted to is
tweeting but I’m already certain she hasn’t picked me because she’s been
tweeting hints for the past few days. It’s definitely not me.
Claw my way to the very back of the fridge & find a
Yoplait chocolate whips yogurt. EPIC SUCCESS. See that it’s expired. EPIC
FAILURE. Google if it’s safe to eat expired yogurt. Upon research and
smell/taste test, decide to eat anyway. Still good.
Missed 13 new tweets during yogurt expedition. See fellow
potential mentees are tweeting about how their MC met the love interest with
#lovestory. Decide not to touch that one with a ten foot pole.
Step over very fat cat sprawled on the floor to use the
bathroom. Forget where I left my glasses. Oh they're in front of the TV.
Riiiiiiiiight. Cat is now sprawled across my notebook.
Remember I put a Gatorade in the freezer and should probably
get it out so I can have a drink and not a popsicle.
10:00: Still two hours to go. Try not to have a panic
attack, especially because I KNOW I'm not going to be picked. Still singing “Let it Go” to myself.
Try to ignore extreme thoughts of self-doubt. Well, no
one I sent my book to actually read it, so NO ONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD IS GOING
TO READ IT. Who the hell is going to buy gay fiction written by a straight girl
anyway? What the hell was I thinking?!
Self-doubt: 1. Sarah: 0.
Reread blog post from Monday for a good laugh and because
I’m pretty sure Jordan doesn’t even know what anxiety is. No, wait! Yes he
does, but he thinks it’s a good thing. He feeds on it—gets a rush from it. Try
to channel his attitude—it doesn’t work.
Thinking there’s no way my manuscript is good enough to get
picked and what the hell was I thinking by entering in the first place?!
You know, I really should have just started watching Frozen
at 9:00. This would have killed so much time.
Open up new flat iron I bought earlier in the day since my
old one died a horrible death. Wonder when the hell did flat irons get so
skinny? New one is 1 ½ inches wide, the biggest one I could find and about ½
the size of my old one. I have a LOT of hair, people. Aint nobody got time for
that. It’s quite spiffy, though. And pink! And comes with a stand!
10:20: Floss and brush teeth. Brush teeth while checking Twitter feed.
This happens: I see fiancĂ© putting on socks. “You’re putting
on socks?” “Yup.” “Aren’t you going to bed soon?” “……….Oh yeah.” He takes socks
off.
Do ridiculous nighttime face washing routine. Come back. It’s
only 10:34. Heavy sigh.
10:48: Fiancé goes to bed. I isolate myself with my laptop
on our tiny corner table that is more junk pile than table at this point.
11:00 Tune in to Whiskey, Wine, & Writing, very thankful
that they’re doing this show since it will kill a whole hour and be lots of
fun.
12:00 Brenda Drake’s website crashes because of all of the views.
Is anyone surprised? Blog finally goes up! I go through the list. Did I get picked? Nope. Did my beta
reader get picked?? Nope. Ehhhh….oh wait, someone I talk to on Twitter got
picked as an alternate! Yay? It’s the only joy I can hold onto, so let me have
it, dammit!!!
12:26 Ok, seriously, time for bed.