03 September 2014

'Twas the Night Before PitchWars

It's that time again! The first Wednesday of the month is the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Check out Alex J. Cavanaugh's blog to learn more!

First Wed of Every Month

Before I get into it, let me spoil it by saying I did not get picked by a mentor for PitchWars. I didn't really expect to, but I'm not necessarily sorry I entered. I always get that feeling that my work isn't good enough, so why the hell did I let four people read it? That could be an entire IWSG post in itself, but I decided to have a little bit more fun with this one.

Knowing the PitchWars picks were being announced at midnight, I of course decided to stay up and find out. But as the night slowly (I mean, very slowly) crept toward that time, it got harder and harder to deal with the wait. So here was how I spent my night, trying to kill time and ignore all the anxiety and insecurity that was waiting to take over. Enjoy!

8:00: Watch the making of Frozen special on ABC. Why? What do you mean WHY? Haven’t you been here before?? Learn a lot of fascinating stuff and laugh hysterically at least once. Killed an entire hour! Only looked at PitchWars Twitter feed during commercial breaks, I swear.

9:00: Do my daily routine of exercises—crunches, lunges, squats, lifting weights, etc.  

Go back on laptop to find 33 new tweets on the PW feed. Eat some watermelon. Stalk the feed relentlessly.

9:30: Wash ALL the dishes! Except one. It needs to soak.

Look at the feed again. One mentor I submitted to is tweeting but I’m already certain she hasn’t picked me because she’s been tweeting hints for the past few days. It’s definitely not me.

Claw my way to the very back of the fridge & find a Yoplait chocolate whips yogurt. EPIC SUCCESS. See that it’s expired. EPIC FAILURE. Google if it’s safe to eat expired yogurt. Upon research and smell/taste test, decide to eat anyway. Still good.

Missed 13 new tweets during yogurt expedition. See fellow potential mentees are tweeting about how their MC met the love interest with #lovestory. Decide not to touch that one with a ten foot pole.

Step over very fat cat sprawled on the floor to use the bathroom. Forget where I left my glasses. Oh they're in front of the TV. Riiiiiiiiight. Cat is now sprawled across my notebook.

Remember I put a Gatorade in the freezer and should probably get it out so I can have a drink and not a popsicle.

10:00: Still two hours to go. Try not to have a panic attack, especially because I KNOW I'm not going to be picked. Still singing “Let it Go” to myself.

Try to ignore extreme thoughts of self-doubt. Well, no one I sent my book to actually read it, so NO ONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD IS GOING TO READ IT. Who the hell is going to buy gay fiction written by a straight girl anyway? What the hell was I thinking?!

Self-doubt: 1. Sarah: 0.

Reread blog post from Monday for a good laugh and because I’m pretty sure Jordan doesn’t even know what anxiety is. No, wait! Yes he does, but he thinks it’s a good thing. He feeds on it—gets a rush from it. Try to channel his attitude—it doesn’t work.

Thinking there’s no way my manuscript is good enough to get picked and what the hell was I thinking by entering in the first place?!

You know, I really should have just started watching Frozen at 9:00. This would have killed so much time.

Open up new flat iron I bought earlier in the day since my old one died a horrible death. Wonder when the hell did flat irons get so skinny? New one is 1 ½ inches wide, the biggest one I could find and about ½ the size of my old one. I have a LOT of hair, people. Aint nobody got time for that. It’s quite spiffy, though. And pink! And comes with a stand!

10:20: Floss and brush teeth. Brush teeth while checking Twitter feed.

This happens: I see fiancé putting on socks. “You’re putting on socks?” “Yup.” “Aren’t you going to bed soon?” “……….Oh yeah.” He takes socks off.

Do ridiculous nighttime face washing routine. Come back. It’s only 10:34. Heavy sigh.

10:48: Fiancé goes to bed. I isolate myself with my laptop on our tiny corner table that is more junk pile than table at this point.

11:00 Tune in to Whiskey, Wine, & Writing, very thankful that they’re doing this show since it will kill a whole hour and be lots of fun.

12:00 Brenda Drake’s website crashes because of all of the views. Is anyone surprised? Blog finally goes up! I go through the list. Did I get picked? Nope. Did my beta reader get picked?? Nope. Ehhhh….oh wait, someone I talk to on Twitter got picked as an alternate! Yay? It’s the only joy I can hold onto, so let me have it, dammit!!!

12:26 Ok, seriously, time for bed. 


  1. Sorry you didn't get picked... but at least you entered -- which is a far step ahead of me!
    I was watching the feed last night too, even though I hadn't entered it was interesting to see (and I think I want to give it a try next year, if I'm looking).
    For what it's worth - I love your voice in this -- it can be a challenge to get me to laugh so early in the morning, and you did it. :)

  2. Aww! It's a shame not getting picked, but there is something to having the courage to enter in the first place.

  3. This is why I almost move out of town when I join a contest that has Twitter feeds. lol

  4. Reading about your waiting time made it sound like fun, but I know that's just you using humor to deflect the pain. Whew! It's always tough putting yourself out there, so congrats on having the bravery!

  5. Persistence is key. Maybe not this time, but there is always a time. And you'll find it. :)

  6. The waiting can kill you. Work on something new. Get your creative juices going. We have to crank out a lot of words to get good.

  7. LOL at how you spent waiting. Sorry you didn't get picked. But what do they know? They missed out on your fab writing. Keep that humor in your writing! It will serve you well.

  8. I'm sorry you didn't get picked, but entering the Pitch Wars was a good thing for you to do and I am happy you did it. Keep your chin up! And I enjoyed your humor in this post. :)

  9. Oh man, I would hate the wait - sometimes waiting is the worst part. Sorry you didn't get picked!

  10. I'm sorry you didn't get picked. UGH. It's such a terrible feeling. If it helps at all, I LOVED this post! It was funny and vulnerable and so full of great details, and most of all, so TRUE. So honest. I completely identified with it; I entered a contest last year (which i did not win, not even close) and did the same exact kill-time-try-not-to-faint thing for hours. You wrote it beautifully, so I have no doubt that your manuscript is beautiful, too.

    Hang in there, and don't give up. This is just ONE contest. there will be many more chances!!! And hey - I for one am so glad that you're a straight girl writing a gay romance. The only way we'll get the diversity we need in fiction is if people write characters they may not themselves be. White people writing people of color; men writing women; straight people writing gay people. THANK YOU for doing it. I can't wait to see it in print :)

  11. Everything is skinnier these days dagnabbit! Including them My Little Ponies. Ugh... :P


  12. Oh wow...why has nobody read your story? People will read it, I promise. Can I share a secret not many know, I too have written a gay story, as a straight person. This post was poignant and humorous. I like how others have said keep your chin up. I agree and please, don't give up, keep plugging away. :)

  13. I'm sorry you didn't make it. I did laugh at your line about the yogurt expedition though.

  14. I am sorry you didn't get picked but well done for giving it a go, It's scary to put yourself out there. I chuckled through your count down, especially the yoghurt!

  15. Sorry you didn't get picked. Good for you for actually exercising while waiting. :)

    Madeline @ The Shellshank Redemption

  16. Maybe there's just a different agent waiting to pick you up! In the meantime, you can buy and eat some non-expired yogurt, and keep on writing more Jordan. :) We'll read it.

  17. Hey, you got a hilarious post out of the deal---that's a win-win for you AND us. ;) Don't ever let things like this make you doubt yourself. It only proves that you're a real writer because you endure all of this...with expired yogurt to boot.

  18. That was hilarious! Good thing you didn't step on the cat.
    Sorry you weren't picked.

  19. I'm sorry you didn't get picked but like Nicki said, you got a hilarious post out of it. Thanks for the laughs. As far as Pitchwars, it's their loss!

  20. I'm sorry you didn't get picked. Try to remember that they only got to pick one mentee and one alternate, and I'm sure they loved many more than that! Could you pick one favorite author or book? I know I couldn't! ;-)
    And I wish I'd known there was a making of Frozen special! I'd have loved that!

  21. I'm sorry that you weren't picked, but judging from your hilarious post, you're going to be ok :). You got out there and jumped in with both feet- I'd call that a win!!

    Great post btw :)

  22. I'm sorry you didn't get picked, but I think it's amazing how supportive you were for your Twitter pal. That's what's so amazing about this community.

  23. It's nice that you've the mandatory day for posting. It's great for writing.

  24. I've done some similar time-wasting in my time too. Sorry you weren't picked. I've never quite understood the whole pitch wars thing... perhaps I ought to know more.