My Week Without TV

I came to a horrible realization on Saturday night: since I quit my job, I've gained five pounds. I thought after I left, I would immediately start losing weight because I ate the food at my work almost every day and it is not good for you. After I started at that job, I eventually gained 30 pounds (I've lost about ten of that...er...five...). My horrible will power can be a discussion for another day. I figured out my problem immediately--while I've stopped eating the work food, my eating habits haven't gotten all that better. I have a tendency to snack all day, which isn't helped by the fact that I'm home all of the time. My job also required a lot of movement, being on my feet for eight straight hours, and breaking a sweat on most shifts.

Basically I don't move anymore. Even when I am being productive, that means sitting on my bed with my laptop (or my awesome blue binder) in my lap checking out blogs and getting some editing done. The most I do is when I occasionally have to run errands or do the laundry.

So yes, I need to get up and move. I need to eat better. But there's something else that is both promoting my laziness and keeping me from being as productive as I'd like. TV. I just watch waaaaaaaaaay too much of it. Most of the time it's not even necessary. If I watched just the shows I like that have new episodes right now, it would only take up a few hours every week. But that is not all I watch. I have the TV on ALL THE TIME. Do you know how easy it is to get caught up in a Law & Order marathon? It's kind of ridiculous how much TV I watch. I've also developed a bad habit where I have to be watching TV if I'm eating.

So here's my plan: for one week, starting now until next Monday morning, I'm not going to watch TV. I may even have my fiance hide the remote or take the batteries to work with him. I'm also going to try and exercise every day. I think I will get SO MUCH DONE without the TV on. More time for editing, reading, writing new stuff. I can concentrate better when there's silence. I also think there's a good possibility I won't snack as much, since I usually associate eating with watching TV. And it's hard to hold a book while eating, but guess what, I have a Kindle! I can actually sit at the table and READ instead of watching TV while I eat.

So we'll see how it goes. Remember how I said I have horrible will power? I'm hoping I can work past it and get a lot done this week. Wish me luck!

The Silly Sex Scene

I'm running out of titles for this topic...

This is something that bothers me on a daily basis. Because I've now written the sex scene twice--no, three times (once in the short story), and I still can't quite figure it out. You'd think it would be for the obvious reasons, that I'm a chick writing a m/m scene, but no, that's not it. I can picture the scene in my head perfectly. I have all the technical details figured out (for the most part, whether I wrote them well is another thing entirely). I also know why it's necessary for my characters to have sex in the first place. What's bothering me is the detail.

Or more specifically, how much detail. None of the ways I've written this scene feel quite right. Which makes me think I've included too much detail. At least up until this point, I've always figured the sex scene should be at least somewhat graphic, not erotica, per se, but more technically detailed, not really leaving anything to the imagination (with emotions and thought process thrown in as well, of course). I had two reasons for writing it this way. One is that there are several sexual situations throughout the book that are very detailed, so I thought being vague in the sex scene wouldn't match up with the rest of the book. The other reason is that you kind of spend the whole book waiting to see if the characters actually will have sex. I worry that there's so much buildup that if I don't pay off that buildup with at least some detail, it will disappoint the reader.

But I still can't really figure out why I can't write this scene in a way that feels right. I'm starting to feel like I'll never get it right. I'm thinking of scrapping every draft of it and starting from scratch. I'm even considering making it EXTREMELY vague, because I think this might work better from a thematic standpoint. But I'm not sure. I swear, I think about this scene so much it makes me feel like a pervert! But I still can't figure it out!

Ok, I know I'm losing it and rambling. This will probably be the very last thing I edit for the third draft. And it will just drive me nuts until then.

Character Consistency

When you’re crafting the characters in your stories, you want them to be realistic. This doesn’t mean that they have to be boring; it just means that the reader has to believe that this person could exist, even if they’ve never met anyone like them before. Not every character is going to be some 9-5 cubicle working, nuclear family kind of guy. Just because you’ve never met a bounty hunter or a pirate or a wizard doesn’t mean these aren’t great characters to use. What’s really important is making sure that once you’ve established your characters, they have to act like themselves.

No two people are exactly alike. Everyone has their own way of thinking and acting—their own habits, nervous ticks, catch phrases. Sure, there can be similarities—my sister and I have a lot of the same facial expressions, or my fiance and I have a lot (A LOT) of inside jokes—but everyone does their own thing.

One of the things to note is how each character speaks. You wouldn’t want everyone to sound the same. A younger character might use more slang, swears, and contractions than an older person would. Some people may talk in fragments, others in long, drawn out sentences. A shy person might litter their words with things like “uh” and “um.” A teenager might have a limited vocabulary, whereas someone like a teacher or English major would probably have a vast knowledge of fancy words they regularly use. Think of a basic sentence that a character might say, something like, “I got lost because you gave me bad directions.” Now rewrite that sentence as if each one of your characters was saying it. You’d probably write it differently for each character (I know at least one of my characters would sneak an f-bomb or two in a sentence like that). One character might be timid, another might be screaming. If you find each character says the sentence in the exact same way, then maybe they don’t have distinct voices.

You also want to watch for different physical characteristics that are true to each character. I was going through a chapter of my second draft when I came across a very simple sentence—“He grinned.” You usually wouldn’t think twice about a sentence like that, right? Well, it just didn’t sit right with me. I circled the “grinned” with my red pen and scribbled next to it: “I don’t think [he] grins. Ever.” I’d have to do a search to be certain, but I’m pretty sure there are no other instances where this character grins. He’s more of a shy smile kind of guy. There’s another character, though, who does grin all the time (probably too much—but that’s what editing is for!). See, each character has his own set of facial expressions and characteristics. Think about what works for each character. One may bite her lip when she’s nervous, another may flare his nostrils when he’s mad. Just make sure each action fits the personality of your character.

As always, consistency is key. Make sure your characters act like themselves, and don’t let that grin sneak in.

It's Beastly Blitz Day!

Today I’m helping to spread the word on an awesome new book written by an awesome blogger! I met Tara through this year’s A to Z Challenge and I love checking out her blog posts. And her book release day is finally here! I’ve always loved reading and writing fantasy, no matter how much I (or my muse) try to ignore it, so I can’t wait to read this book. Maybe in time for my first “Hey, I Read Your Book” post, right? Check it out!

BROKEN BRANCH FALLS (MG Fantasy)
by Tara Tyler
Release Date: June 24, 2014 - TODAY!!
B&N ~~~ Amazon
Publisher: Curiosity Quills

Gabe is an average fifteen-year-old goblin. He’s in the marching band, breezes through calculus, and gets picked on daily by the other kids at school, especially the ogres. But Gabe wants to break out of his nerdy stereotype and try other things. He has his eye on the new ogress at school. Though it’s against all beastly rules, there’s just something about her.

Gabe starts a fad of mingling with other species, forcing the High Council to step in and ruin things by threatening to destroy the school and split up Broken Branch Falls. With help from other outcast friends, Gabe sets out on a quest to save his town. They'll show 'em what different friends can do together!

Add it to your GOODREADS list!

Tara Tyler has had a hand at everything from waitressing to rocket engineering. After living up and down the Eastern US, she now writes and teaches math in Ohio with her three active boys and Coach Husband. Currently, she has two series, The Cooper Chronicles (techno-thriller detective capers) and Beast World (MG fantasy) She's an adventure writer who believes every good story should have action, a moral, and a few laughs!

Twitter ~~~ Facebook ~~~ Blog

Also by Tara Tyler, techno-thriller detective series,

The Cooper Chronicles, Book One: POP TRAVEL

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Stick to a Schedule

Do you ever have one of those days where you think you should just go back to bed so you can start over? Yeah, that's kinda happening right now, so bear with me. So far (after a not so great night's sleep) I've spilled milk all over my bed and the light fixture above my kitchen sink has just decided it doesn't want to stay up anymore, even with duct tape. I tried taking a bubble bath to relax but made the water too hot and so it was more scalding than relaxing. Hopefully that will be the end of the disasters for the day.

So last week was my first full week of trying this whole writing thing full time. It did not go as well as I'd hoped. I think I made more progress selling some old books and DVDs on Amazon than getting any writing done. However, I didn't have any sort of a schedule last week. I would try to make lists of goals, but I always only got about half of them done. Maybe I need a little bit more structure than I thought.

On Friday, I came across this post that talked about setting specific tasks for each day of the week. This was more about blogging and social media, but I thought I could definitely apply this method to my own work. So I figured, why not? I'll try it out this week and see how it works. Last night I broke down all of the days of the week, assigning specific tasks to each day:

Monday: Blogging/social media

Tuesday: Freelance work

Wednesday: Editing

Thursday: Poetry

Friday: Writing new stuff

Saturday: Agent research/query letter

Sunday: ???

So today, for example, I'm going to write all of my blog posts for the week and visit as many blogs as I can, as well as doing any other networking on Twitter (and possibly trying to figure out what the hell Google+ actually is). I still plan on visiting other blogs during the week, Wednesday and Friday especially as those are my other post days, but most of the work will be done today. 

I still haven't figured out a task for Sunday (oops!). It could be an off day, or maybe a second editing day, if I don't come up with a seventh task. I thought about making it a reading day but I plan on reading every day so that may be pointless. Well, it's the last day on my schedule, so I've got plenty of time to think about it!

I guess I'll try this new method out this week and see how it works. Anybody else use a schedule to get things done? 

Oh hey, still no takers on the Writing Process blog hop. I need three people! If I don't get volunteers, I'll have to start hunting people down. And that will just be awkward for all of us. :) 

The Unseen Character

There are different kinds of characters in any piece of writing. There's the main character, the supporting characters. There are protagonists and antagonists. There are characters who may just pop in for a scene and are never heard from again. I've come to realize, however, that there's another kind of character, one that's different from all of these other ones for one very distinct reason--you never actually see them.

If you think of a story as a snapshot in the main character's life, then there are only going to be certain moments--and certain people--who matter. You wouldn't want to mention every single person your character knows. Unless having every member of your MC's extended family show up is important to the story, then we don't have to meet all of those characters, even if they have a big influence on the MC's life. I'm wondering, though--is it ok to mention a character even if we never meet them?

I've been thinking about this a lot through my editing process because I've come to realize that I have not one, not two, but THREE unseen characters. These are characters who are mentioned now and then but never appear in any page of the novel. Is it ok to do this? Or does mentioning a character without ever bringing them to the page going to disappoint or confuse your reader?

The way I see it, each of my three main characters has a person who has (or still does) influence their lives in some way, but these people never make it onto the page. For example, it's hinted at that my MC's mother has some sort of relationship with her boss, this being the main reason why she is never home. But we never meet her boss, and the few times where she shows up, she never mentions him, either. The boss is basically only mentioned by the narrator to give some sort of explanation to the reader about his home life, and why his mother isn't around.

I'm not so worried about this character. He's not all that important to the story, so I don't think we need to meet him, even if he is mentioned. I am struggling with another one of my unseen characters, however. Another character frequently mentions his sister, and his family history actually plays a big role in the way he sees himself and how he lives his life. But she is another character that we never meet. The big problem with this is that my book is in first person, and there is no possible scenario where my narrator would meet this person. So I wonder if it's ok to mention her as many times as I do. She was a new character I added to the second draft to sort of tie everything together, explaining why my more important character (her brother) does certain things. Basically I felt there were a lot of unanswered questions in the first draft that I answered by creating her. Now I'm only left with one--if she's so important, why isn't she actually in the book? It's not very easy to figure out. I wouldn't want to stretch things out, make a scene that isn't important to the plot just to justify a character's existence. But if I remove her, I feel like everything will fall apart again.

What do you think? Is it ok to mention a character that we never meet? Do any of your stories have an unseen character?

I Don't Write Reviews...

I did something weird the other day. I finished a book (no, that's not the weird part...ok, maybe it is) and I gave it 5 stars on Goodreads. I almost never do that. I'm sure there are several reasons for this. I think because with most things, I tend to be neutral. I never love or hate anything (with a few exceptions, usually on the love side). If you asked me what my favorite author, band, movie, or TV show was, I probably couldn't answer you. It's hard for me to pick favorites. And honestly, I could count the number of movies I actually despised on one hand. For books, it's even harder. 

I'm going to go off on a tangent here, I'm sure, but I find it amusing. The book I just finished was If There Be Thorns by V.C. Andrews, the third book in the Dollanganger series. I got into the series when Lifetime premiered the movie version of the first book, Flowers in the Attic back in January. I just decided to watch it one night and then started the book not too long after. The movie was pretty good considering its length, but the book (of course) was even better. After finishing the first book, I immediately started the second, Petals on the Wind. This I did not get through quite as fast as the first. I just couldn't connect with it--it seemed to drag on forever, so I would often just stop reading it altogether. I took so long, in fact, that Lifetime managed to make a movie out of it--a really, really bad movie. Seriously. I think I could forgive all of the changes they made from the book if it actually turned out to be a decent movie, but no...just, no. 

Where was I? Oh, right! I wasn't even sure if I wanted to continue reading the series, but the description for If There Be Thorns seemed too interesting to pass up. I started it on the plane to Las Vegas and read the whole thing in about a week (I'm actually a slow reader, so this was an accomplishment). I absolutely loved it. It kept me constantly turning the (Kindle) page, gasping at certain moments. I loved the change in voices, as there are two narrators whose voices are very distinct. The first two books were written from one character's perspective, Cathy, and the third changes completely, switching back and forth between her two sons. I thought Andrews' ability to craft these voices was incredible. It was something I hope to achieve in my own writing, since my narrator has a very different voice from my own. 

Here's the thing, though. I didn't write any sort of review after I rated the book. I never write reviews, good or bad, or anywhere in between. I just don't think I'm any good at it. I struggle to come up with anything to say. If I like the book, that's pretty much all I can think of. If I find faults in it, I feel like I don't have the right to point them out, whether it's a book by a well established author or someone new. Especially someone new, actually. I wouldn't want to ruin their day by writing even a sentence that trashed their book. So I don't even bother. 

I have an idea, though! Especially because my Kindle is full of books written by bloggers I know that I haven't even read yet. I'm going to start a recurring post on my blog, probably once a month, that will feature at least a snippet of a review of whatever books I've read by writers I know. They'll probably be short, highlighting what I really liked about the book, and hopefully I'll post these on Goodreads and Amazon once they're posted here. I won't call them reviews, though. I'm thinking of calling it "Hey, I Read Your Book!" and the first installment will be towards the end of next month. I'm thinking maybe the last Monday of every month, and I don't really have enough time to finish any books this month. But look out for it in the future! Maybe this will help me with my review writing phobia. 

I still need three people for the Writing Process blog hop, so if you're interested (and haven't been picked by someone else--this thing is spreading!), leave me a comment with your email and I'll get in touch with you. Thanks!

Cracking the Whip...On Myself?

Today is the first day of whatever the hell it is I'm doing. My fiance and I got back from Vegas a week ago but he was still on vacation until today, so it was hard for me to really get anything done (we could really use two rooms...). I wanted to blog yesterday but we pretty much spent the whole day putting away groceries, doing dishes, and making tacos (yay!). Today I'm finally all by myself and I have to figure out what exactly I'm doing.

I know I don't want to find a job right away. But I also know I want to be prepared to get one. I need to create a resume, maybe a cover letter, and some kind of writing portfolio. If I'm checking for jobs all the time, even if I'm not expecting to find one, I should be prepared. That way if I find a job that I'm interested in, I can apply for it without worrying about getting everything together. 

I kinda don't even want to think about the *shudders* THIRD DRAFT of my novel. The second draft was more of a line by line rewrite. With this one, I don't have to do so much technical rewriting. It's more about big picture stuff, which, honestly, is even scarier than rewriting. I really want this to be the final draft that I'm going to send out, so I can't avoid any parts that I know need fixing (ugh...setting...). I did go through and highlight the entire Guide to Literary Agents and found a few good matches, and several to research further. So, fingers crossed! Now I just have to write a query letter...

I think my biggest problem is that I don't really know how to structure my work. I've never been good at giving myself a schedule. I've thought about having daily goals, like say, two hours of editing, one hour of blogging, etc. I've thought about devoting each day to one thing. I'm not sure if these ideas are going to work either. But I'm afraid if I don't structure myself I'm just going to get lazy, and without a day job to fall back on, I really can't afford to do that. I have made a list of weekly goals, which I guess is a start. I'll see how much further I want to take it. I think it would be better to start each day with particular goals in mind. 

I definitely need to blog more. And visit other blogs. And just network, network, network. I plan on blogging every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday (shh...I know it's Tuesday...). I have some ideas but the thought of coming up with something three times a week is a bit daunting. I have like, sixteen blog hop posts to write. Ok, maybe just two. But I also need to find three people to pass one on to (any volunteers? Huh? You know you want to!), and pick ELEVEN for the other, although this is a bit easier because I just have to nominate people, rather than find someone who is willing to participate. 

Ok, I think I'm done. I swear my future posts will have more of a purpose. I do occasionally come up with ideas for writing tips. What is everyone else up to? 

Stress Postponed

It's that time again! The first Wednesday of every month is the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group. Click the link to visit Alex J. Cavanaugh's blog and learn more!

I have plenty to be insecure about right now, but I'm not really thinking about it. I'm putting it off until next week because tomorrow I'm getting on a plane to Las Vegas with my fiancé. I'm planning on five days of relaxation and fun, and if I'm lucky, maybe I'll win some money, although I'm certainly not going to try anything but slot machines. Mostly I just want to eat, drink, and lounge by the pool. 

Of course, when we come back next Tuesday, I'm sure reality is going to slap me in the face. Last night was my last shift at my job. It was a weird feeling, because I know I'm going to miss a lot of the people there, but I will not miss actually working there. Not one little bit. I'm sure it's going to be a little bit scary not having a source of income anymore, and to watch my savings go down as I pay my bills. But I'm hoping it will all be worth it in the end. 

I'm also a bit stressed out about my book. Sometimes I'll think, hey I'm almost done! Then I'll think the exact opposite--that there's so much work still to do. Ok, yes, there is a lot of work to do. But I'm not going to do another rewrite, just a lot of editing. I'll also have a lot of time to work on it. I'm thinking I'll work on my book at least three hours every day, as well as looking for freelance work, publishing jobs, and agents to eventually send queries to. My whole focus is going to be on building my writing career. 

So yeah, there's a lot to be stressed about. But I'll worry about that next week. Right now, my bags are packed, my Kindle is charged, all my high heels are shoved into my suitcase. And I've got my second draft and a red pen for the plane ride. :)

My Blog Turns Three!

I can't believe it's time again for another blog birthday! It's been three whole years since I first started blogging. I can't believe it's actually been that long. I had a slow start, but in the past few months, I've been able to create some more momentum, get a lot of new followers, and meet some great people! Now I just have to keep writing!

I was struggling with coming up with an idea for this post, since I knew I had to celebrate somehow. Well, I caught myself thinking about some of my favorite blog posts that I've shared over the past three years. So I thought, why not share them? A lot of my new followers wouldn't have seen the older ones, plus I think it's good to look back and see what I've accomplished.

So I decided on ten, in chronological order. Here we go!

1. Full Circle: This was my very first blog post, done exactly three years ago. Ok, I may have written it the day before. But I had no idea what I was doing or how to set up a blog. I like this one because I talk about my journey as a writer, having just graduated college, as well as the journey I was starting in turning a short story into a novel. And I've been working on it ever since.

2. How to Write a Sex Scene: This was less of a how-to post and more of a personal journey into being able to write a sex scene at all. I used to have a very hard time writing these kinds of scenes. It's kind of fascinating, really, since I don't have a problem with it at all anymore. To get over my fear, I had to break myself. How? By writing a sex scene, of course!

3. Muse Mondays: The Takeover: This was the very first time I let my muse, Jordan, write a blog post. It inspired the eventual name change to "Jordan Takes Over," which typically happens the first Monday of every month, although he has been slacking lately. I like this one because he talks about what it means to be a muse, and turns out, it's not all that easy.

4. The Fight Scene: This is definitely one of my favorite how-to posts. I talk about writing two types of fight scenes--the physical fight scenes and the verbal ones. It was one of those posts that made me think I actually at least kind of know what I'm doing when it comes to this whole writing thing. Plus, I quote Fight Club.

5. Fun Facts: Volume Two: Every so often I'll do a post that's really a list, usually called "Fun Facts." They're always really fun to write. This one is my favorite because it features a list of things my characters are always doing--you know, sighing, shrugging, sticking tongues out. I thought it was good for a laugh.

6. Bitch Stole My Plot!: This is my favorite post that was done for the IWSG (ok, mostly for the title). I talk about being paranoid about not only someone stealing your book idea, but the idea that everything has already been done before and there are no original ideas. I definitely have my own opinion on the subject.

7. The 100th Blog Post/Jordan's 18th Birthday Extravaganza: My 100th blog post also happened to fall on my muse's 18th birthday (you know, if he was a real person who actually aged). I celebrated by sharing 100 fun facts about my novel. This one was really fun to write, but also kind of difficult since I had to come up with all of those facts! Warning: it's my longest post EVER.

8. When Do You Hold Back?: Another one of my favorite writing tip posts. I often worry that some moments in my book will be too much for people to handle. And did you know you're not supposed to have your characters masturbate until after the third chapter? Yeah, I definitely broke that rule.

9. WIP: The Movie: Probably the best blog hop ever. I thought I was the only one who came up with dream actors for my characters and a playlist for my book. It was lots of fun to share this info. Also, I hate all pictures of myself, even if it's with one of my favorite actors. Burn it! Ok, half of it.

10. B is for a Blue Binder: I did the A to Z Challenge for the first time this year, and this is one of my favorite posts. I'm a bit of perfectionist when it comes to colors and organization. Because my book has colors. What, everyone doesn't do that?

Well, there you have it. I can't wait to see what happens in the next year. Keep stopping by if you want to find out, too. :)

Endings and Beginnings

Lots of big news! I know I haven't blogged in forever since the A to Z Challenge ended. Lots of reasons for that, I suppose. I'm hoping to blog lots and lots in the near future, possibly even every day. We shall see.

First off, I finished my second draft! Woo! It doesn't feel quite as triumphant as finishing the first draft, but then again, the first draft took me two and a half years to complete, so it was a big accomplishment. But anyway, I finished up the last chapter yesterday afternoon. 142 pages, 82,744 words, and 27 chapters. I guess a lot changed structurally since the first draft only had 20 chapters and 70,900 words. I know I cut a lot of the original chapters down to make the scene transitions less choppy, but I'm not entirely sure where the giant increase in the word count came from. I'll have to look into it.

Side note! If you read all of my silly facts in my 100th post, you'll know that the first draft has 196 f-bombs. Well, I did a search on the second draft and there are...drum roll please...188! Actually, I thought it would be more. I guess I'm learning restraint. I did try to cut the ones that didn't seem necessary. But hey, the narrator is a fifteen-year-old boy, it's gonna pop up now and then.

Other big news! I put in my two weeks notice at work on Tuesday. Ah! It's scary but exciting. Two days after my last day of work, I'll be going to Las Vegas with my fiance (no, we're not getting married). It should be a lot of fun. I'm bringing my second draft with me to edit on the plane, and lots and lots of books to read in front of the pool.

I hope to be querying my book within a few months and am going to try publishing smaller pieces and maybe getting some freelance work. I'm really excited for what the future is going to bring.

Insecure About Not Being Insecure

It's that time again! The first Wednesday of every month is the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group. Click the link to visit Alex J. Cavanaugh's blog and learn more!

I was struggling to come up with a topic for today's post, mostly because I haven't been feeling very insecure lately. I got through the A to Z challenge, I'm almost done with the second draft of my book, and I'm nervous about leaving my job, but not really insecure. I know in my gut I'm making the right decision. It's still almost a month away so I'm trying not to think about it too much yet. 

I've been thinking about how close I am to trying to get my book published. Once the second draft is done, I'll go through another round of edits, but not a rewrite this time, so it probably won't take very long. There's just a few things to iron out, I think (of course, when I hear back from my readers I may find out how wrong I am...). And then I'll start querying. It's exciting and scary but I'm actually not feeling very insecure about it. 

Here's the thing--I'm not scared of rejection. Not at all. I've already been told by someone that my story is horrible, and I really don't think any agent would respond that way (as long as I do my research and submit to the right agents, of course). I've already been hit with the worst, so even rejection would be better than that. I also accept that fact that I'm going to be rejected. Lots of times. I see it as part of the process. It's going to happen and it's just something to get through. 

My lack of insecurity is actually what worries me. What if I'm wrong about how I feel? What if that first rejection comes and I just break down? What if I can't handle it? Is my lack of fear a good thing or is it setting me up to fall even harder? I guess I won't know until it actually happens. 

A to Z Challenge Reflections

This April was my first try at doing the A to Z Challenge. While I wish I had done a bit more planning ahead of time, I did end up having a lot of fun. I've always been a procrastinator, so I don't really know what I expected. But anyway, reflections!

I somehow managed to get through the entire challenge, posting every day except Sundays, despite the usual hectic work schedule, a case of strep throat, and also working on the second draft of my novel. I'd like to think that blogging every day helped create some inspiration, and was at least part of the reason why I got so much writing done. I managed to get six chapter rewrites done over the course of the month, creating a momentum that I haven't had in a long time. I'm hoping to completely finish the second draft within a week or two. 

I certainly got a lot more traffic during the month of April. I started the challenge with 79 followers, and now I have 110. Yikes! I met a lot of new blogger buddies and am looking forward to keeping up with their blogs in the future. 

I didn't have a theme this year, but I've already got some ideas for next year! Hopefully by then I'll be writing full time and be able to get the posts done in advance, instead of writing them the day they needed to be posted. Some days I had good ideas, other days the posts were a bit forced. Some days I was too busy writing, working, or suffering horrible throat pain to write more than a couple paragraphs. But I am glad I managed to post every day. 

OH! And if by any chance you remember my second post (feels like forever ago) and my quest for a blue binder, well...I went back to Staples for something else and I GUESS they restocked!

(Surprisingly I don't hate this picture of myself...I know, a first! It's also the first time I've used my webcam. I'm thinking a Blogger/Twitter profile pic redo is in order!)

So, to recap! 

26 posts

6 chapter rewrites

31 new followers

152 work hours to work around

72 cups of coffee

AND 1 blue binder later...

The challenge is complete! 

Z is for Zoning Out

Woo, we made it! It's the last post of the A to Z Challenge! I'll admit that coming up with an idea for Z wasn't easy. I didn't have some grand finale planned for my last A to Z post. But then I realized there is something I do that is a central part of my writing process. And that is zoning out.

I'm sure when most people zone out, their minds go completely blank. I guess if that's true, then I've never really zoned out at all. Really, it's impossible to turn my brain off completely, even when I'm trying to fall asleep. There are always thoughts running through my mind. Most of the time, those thoughts are about the fictional characters I've created and their lives.

Since I was eight years old, I've always pictured stories in my head. I make up other people and the things they go through, then eventually write those stories down. I really have never been able to understand how everyone doesn't do this. So when I zone out, I'm not thinking of nothing. I'm thinking of people, places, situations, even worlds--all things that I've created.

I love to picture scenes from my stories in my head before I write them down. It's a bit of a rush to mold every aspect, every character and what they're doing, figuring everything out so that it's perfect before I actually put it into words. I picture these scenes over and over again until they drive me absolutely nuts and I just have to write them down. Once they're written, though, I have a hard time picturing them with the same clarity and passion that I did before. But that's what rereading is for, I guess--making sure the words match the scene I saw in my head, and then getting to read that scene over and over again.

So I guess I could say that zoning out is a part of my writing process. It's basically how I brainstorm. Plus, it's a great way to kill some time. :)

Y is for Yikes!

I honestly had no idea what to blog about today. I did not get enough sleep but I just had to get up to watch the Tony nominations. And I really want to get back to writing. It was really frustrating to have to stop myself and go to bed last night. But, you know, you can't write if you can't keep your eyes open!

Since I'm nearing the end of my second draft, I gave the last few chapters of the first draft a reread yesterday morning to see what was left, and it was kind of scary. I think there's still a lot of work to do. The end is way too rushed. The second to last chapter was just a bunch of short scenes trying to wrap up all the loose ends before the last chapter. I was cringing while I read it. It's frustrating because every moment is necessary, but I don't see how I can stretch out each part to make it more meaningful.

And do not even get me started on the sex scene. Ok, maybe it's too late. I knew this would be a hard scene to write and I knew it still needed a lot of work. It's not really the physical aspects that bother me so much. It's more about the mood, the emotions in the narrative. It's all off. I feel like I need to either rip the whole scene apart or just start over completely. Which is also scary.

So yes, there aren't a lot of chapters left to rewrite. But there is still a LOT of work to do.

X is for X Marks the Spot

I honestly couldn't come up with a good post for the letter X. I mean, come on, X? There aren't a lot of words that start with X. But as I was brainstorming, this phrase stuck in my mind, mostly because I've reached another point in my WIP where something BIG happens (and not something upsetting like in the infamous Chapter 17). Due to a rather impulsive (and sexy) moment, the whole dynamic of my characters' relationship is forced to change. This change moves the story forward, because such a dramatic moment can't go unnoticed. Things have to change, and eventually this leads to a breaking point.

So my X isn't just about my sexy scene (Aw, really? Darn.). It's about reaching the ending. I think it's going to happen a lot sooner than I initially thought, especially if I keep up the momentum I've had for the past few days. It's kind of bittersweet, because I really really want to finish, but that also means that I'm done writing. I love my book, so I'm not sure how I feel about this. Of course, I'll never really be done. Once the second draft is complete, there will be more edits (although I'm hoping not a complete rewrite again), agent research, queries, waiting, rejections, and hopefully at the end of that agonizing journey, I'll be published. Then that starts a whole different sort of journey.

But I'm getting way ahead of myself. Right now, I just have to go write this sexy scene. Yay!

W is for Writing (Duh)

W is for writing, because that's what I'm doing. Right now. I've got such a good momentum going lately that I don't even really want to interrupt it with this blog post. But it had to be done. I know it's late, but I worked all day and the coffee is just starting to kick in. I'll be spending the rest of the night writing, hopefully finishing Chapter 18 and then some. It's very exciting.

Oh, by the way, one of my coworkers/readers came up to me at work last night and screamed, "WHAT DID YOU DO?!"  I guess Chapter 17 was a bit upsetting. Mission accomplished. ;)

V is for Victory

I did it. I made it through Chapter 17, aka Brian's birthday party. This is my twist chapter. This is when shit. goes. down. I feel I came up with an accurate description of how a reader would react while reading this chapter:

Hmm, boring party.

Wait, what?

No. He can’t. Seriously? No no no. HE CAN’T.

YAY! He didn’t!

WAIT. REALLY? Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod! I don’t know how I feel about this! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

*gasp* WHAT?! NO. THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE. AGH. BUT HE…WHAT???????!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

*throws computer against wall…except probably not, because it’s a computer…*

Or at least I hope that's how they react. Really, I was just having fun. But if they don't react this way, then I haven't done my job. Only time will tell. Having this sort of reaction would be another victory. It would mean that the readers are invested in the story, that they care what happens to the characters. Isn't that the whole point of having someone read your story? You don't want them to feel nothing. 

The fact that I got through Chapter 17 means that I actually rewrote two chapters yesterday. It was a big accomplishment. I noticed something interesting, as well while I was writing. Even though it's my book, and I knew exactly what was going to happen, my heart was pounding the whole time while I was writing, like the suspense was too much. I hope this means I did a good job. 

I seriously want someone to come up to me and say, "I hate you," after reading this chapter. I can't wait. Yesterday turned out to be a great day. Writing gives me that feeling that nothing else can. I'm happiest when I'm writing. I can't wait for the day when it's all I do. 

On a not so victorious note, I did not get around to 30 blogs yesterday. I ended up leaving 6 comments, but followed a bunch of new blogs to check out later. It seemed that no amount of coffee could wake me up yesterday and I only got my writing momentum much later in the day. See, this is why I don't make specific goals for myself, because I never reach them! Oh well, it's another day! 

U is for Undertaking

Today is my only day off, so the word of the day is undertaking because of the very long list of goals that I will be attempting. I probably won't get everything done, but hey, the first one on the list is writing this blog post. Check!

I've been way too lazy all morning so I feel like I've already wasted too much time. But first I need coffee. Then I'm going to try to get this chapter done and send it off to my readers. I made a little more progress yesterday but still wasn't able to finish it. I want to get to the next chapter because I think I can rewrite it in about five seconds.

I want to visit a lot of blogs today, too. My plan is to leave a comment on 30 blogs. I've got a notebook open to make tally marks. Then I have some errands to run, too. Blech. But mostly today will be filled with writing. So off I go!

Side note: I almost posted this with the "T" badge instead of the "U." I think I'll finish my coffee before doing anything else...

T is for Twists

Yesterday I talked about how I was having trouble writing the current chapter of my second draft. I wrote a page yesterday and I'm feeling much more inspired today, so hopefully I'll get the whole chapter done. The thing I love about blogging about these sort of problems is the comments and advice I get from other writers. Two of the comments on yesterday's blog really struck me, so I had to take a moment and actually consider it. They were asking if I needed this chapter at all. Since the next chapter, the one I was actually looking forward to, was so much more interesting, did I need this in between chapter at all?

My first response was, "of course I need it!" Immediately followed by, "wait...do I?" I was wondering if this chapter was one of those completely self-indulgent ones whose important points could probably be summed up in a few sentences. But then I really thought about it. I realized this chapter was necessary, and for a few different reasons. There is some important information about one character that is revealed in this chapter, as well as some symbolism being established that I continue throughout the book. There doesn't really seem to be another place in the novel to place this information.

The main reason, however, that this chapter exists, is to fool the reader. I realized the reason I'm so excited for the next chapter is that there is a big twist at the end--something the reader is never going to see coming. And that twist shatters the world that my characters have created. You know if something seems too good to be true, it probably is? That's basically what I'm doing with this current chapter. By the end, things seem perfect. My characters are happy. You'd probably be convinced that they've fallen in love at this point, even though they can't admit it. So the characters (and the readers) won't expect things to completely fall apart in the next chapter.

So maybe I'm just dying to get to the twist, but it can only be a twist if you don't see it coming.

S is for Stalling

I'm having one of those problems again. I have no desire to work on the current chapter of my second draft. It's frustrating because I really want to work on the chapter after it, since it involves several shocking moments and will be really exciting to edit. I know I could just skip ahead, but since I'm sending my book chapter by chapter to my readers, I feel like I have to edit in order. So I'm stalling.

Really, I'm just not doing anything. Every day feels the same. Get up, eat something, blog, get ready for work, work, go home, go to bed. That's it. No time for anything else. I really, really, really want to finish the second draft before I leave my job, since some of my coworkers are reading it and I'd like to get some reactions. But usually whatever free moment I have is spent being exhausted. I just don't feel like writing.

The thing is, if I get past this chapter and write the next one, I don't think it will take me long to finish the book. After this turning point, there are only a few major moments before the end. There's not a lot of major editing I have to do, as far as rearranging scenes or making plot changes. It's mostly just word for word rewriting, which really won't be so hard.

I'm thinking of taking my writing with me to work today, since I'm working a position where I'm pretty sure I'll have some down time. I was kicking myself last night for not bringing a notebook since it was a lot slower than I thought it would be. And hopefully I'll get through this chapter. Otherwise I'll just keep stalling.

R is for Reading

Like most writers, I love to read. Writing and reading pretty much go hand in hand. My problem is that I never seem to read all that much anymore. Every year I make a goal to read 100 books, and every year I fail. I never even come close. This year I've only read two books so far. Two! It's pathetic!

Like everything else, my problem is time. I don't have all that much of it, so whatever free time I have left after work and well, life, I try to spend that writing (try being the main word there). But I also know that when I do find time to read, it makes me want to write more. It's so much easier to get inspired when you're reading regularly. So while I try to use my time to write, I know it also suffers because I never read anymore. So basically, I can't win.

So I'm really looking forward to having more free time. I miss reading. I don't even know who my favorite authors are anymore. If someone asked me what kind of books I like to read, I wouldn't even know how to answer. I really would love to read anything I could get my hands on at this point. I do love my Kindle ever since I got it, and I bought a bunch of books written by my blogger buddies, but I still haven't gotten around to reading them. I think I'll start slow right now. I'd like to devote just a half an hour a day to reading. We'll see how it goes.

How is everyone else doing? Do you feel reading fuels your writing? What books are you reading right now? I'd love some recommendations.

Q is for Questioning (with an excerpt!)

Ok, I have to admit this post is kind of a cop out, because hey, guess what! I'm on another double today! *headdesk* But it also occurs to me that I've never ever shared an excerpt from my WIP, Uneven Lines, so it seemed like a good day to do so. You know, since it's already written...

If you want to get to know someone, the easiest way to do so is to ask them questions. You can find out where they came from, what sort of things they like to do, etc. Some people are shy and aren't always going to willingly give up that information, so you have to dig deep to get it out of them. This sort of questioning is a central part in the first few chapters of my book. When Jordan first meets Tom, he wants to get to know him, but it isn't easy. Tom is shy, and since it is actually his job to tutor Jordan in geometry, he likes to keep the focus on that. Of course, this isn't good enough for Jordan, so he starts asking questions. Lots of them. All the time. He asks so many questions that Tom can't possibly ignore all of them. So each answer is like a tiny little victory.

But anyway, to the scene! I like this one because it shows a few sides to Jordan--he's crafty but he's also still a typical teenage boy who zones out and fantasizes. As far as the questioning goes, he's able to find out something about Tom that he's been dying to ask, but is able to do so without being too obvious. My favorite part, though, is the very last line, and it's probably my favorite chapter ending in the whole book.

So here is the scene from the second chapter. There is a very brief sexual reference at the end, but like I said, he's a typical teenage boy *wink wink*

            Figuring out the volume of a sphere is in no way necessary to life. I’m sorry, it just isn’t. The only spheres I was interested in were Tom’s eyes. I was trying to name their exact shade. If I dug out my biggest box of crayons, I wouldn’t have found a match—not sky blue, not cornflower. I mean, they were blue, like, gorgeous blue, but sort of clear, almost. Like Caribbean waters. I just hoped he would actually think I was paying attention since I was staring at him.

            “Jordan? Are you listening at all?”

            “Huh?” I shook my head. I had been zoning out a bit more than I thought. I glanced down at the notebook in front of me. “Where were we?”

            “Where were you?”

            I guessed my daydreaming had been more than obvious. I shrugged. “Swimming.”

            He just blinked those blue eyes a few times. I should have said drowning. “Oh, ok, swimming. In February?”

            “I was thinking of someplace tropical.” I yawned and stretched my arms above my head.

            Tom sighed. “Well, we’ve got five minutes left. You can do one more problem.”

            Always with the freaking math, this one. I groaned, throwing my pencil onto the table. “Seriously? Can’t we just call it a day?” Not that I wanted him to leave or anything. But if I came up with a good question I could get him talking for those five minutes. He frowned, so I sighed. “Come on, this is pointless. You could be baking something delicious right now instead of staring at circles.”

            He just stared at me, completely serious. “They’re spheres. They’re three-dimensional.”

            “So’s a cake.”

            “Jordan—”

            I rolled my eyes. “How does this crap not bore you to death? It’s ok, you can go. Don’t you have a girlfriend to go see or something?”

            He chuckled and shook his head. “No.”

            I picked up my pencil and tapped it against the table. I had a thought, and I tried to fight it off, but I just couldn’t help myself. I mean, I had no proof. Not even the tiniest shred. God, I just wanted it to be true. “Oh, I get it. Boyfriend?”

            His entire body jumped as he looked back at me. “What? No.” He looked down at the table, quickly scribbling, but his flushed cheeks said it all.

            I dropped my pencil on the floor and fumbled around like an idiot to get it back. I sat back up, trying to keep calm. Didn’t want to start drooling or anything. “So, um…what was that formula?”

            I was so excited that night that I couldn’t get to sleep. You know, until I rubbed one out and slipped into a coma. But before that, I had a million thoughts going through my mind. This little sliver of information was my greatest victory yet. I just didn’t know what to do with it. Just because he was gay didn’t mean I was going to get anything out of him. Not that I wanted anything. Or did I? I kept telling myself that it didn’t matter because there was no possible way he could ever want me.

            Then again, I always liked a challenge. 

P is for Poetry

One of the things I never seem to have time (or inspiration) for is writing poetry. For a long time during college I had given up on writing fiction, after two fiction writing classes proved disappointing. But in those classes, you could only write short stories, and if you read my N post the other day, you can imagine how well that went for me. So after two semesters of fiction, I decided to try poetry instead. And I loved it. I'd written poetry before, most of it in high school, most of it more awful than you can imagine. But I was older and wiser now, so I had more things to write about and more perspective to write them well.

I thought poetry was my calling, as I kept taking classes up until my last semester at college. In my final semester, I had the option to create a thesis project in order to obtain a BFA (Bachelor of Fine Arts) instead of a BA. I chose to write a poetry portfolio. The other options included writing a novel or a collection of short stories, but poetry had been my thing for so long that it seemed like the natural choice. I had developed a certain voice in my poetry, one that was distinctly mine, with a feminine edge and a good amount of sarcasm. It was always easy to write poetry because I was usually writing as myself.

I also decided in my last semester to try one more fiction class, which was either the greatest or worst decision ever. The first short story I came up with eventually turned into the novel I've been working on for the last three years. I don't think I would go back and change my mind if I could, because I really believe this particular story is my calling, but it's been a rough journey. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had stuck completely with poetry. Where would I be in my life right now? I suppose it doesn't matter, especially because I feel everything happens for a reason.

One of my biggest regrets, however, is that I never write poetry anymore. It was easy to come up with ideas when I was in college and forced to hand in a new poem every two weeks. Now I'm so focused on my novel that it's hard to come up with poems. Even when I do get an idea, I never actually write it down. It just kind of floats to the back of my mind. I know if I had more time, I would be able to focus on poetry more, not just writing new poems but finding places to publish my old ones. Because it kind of breaks my heart that I'm not really a poet anymore.

I was going to share a poem, but I couldn't find one I liked enough! They all need a lot of work...

O is for Opposites

When you're crafting the characters in your stories, do they tend to turn out like yourself or other people you know? Is your main character a modified version of yourself? Or are you complete opposites?

In the case of my book, I could not be more different than my main character. Jordan is outgoing, charismatic, never afraid to speak his mind. He can come up with a snarky comeback with a snap of his finger. As for me, the person actually coming up with those comebacks, well, I have to stare at the computer screen for a few minutes before every line is perfectly crafted. I'm ridiculously shy, introverted, and I stumble with words when I talk to people. It's a lot different when I can hide behind my fictional characters.

I'm sure I'm not the only writer who feels that they live through their characters. Your characters can be nothing like you or they can have things in common with you. I think either way, writing from these points of view can be therapeutic. If your main character is your exact opposite, then it's a lot of fun to pretend to be him. It's fun to write your characters doing or saying things that you never would. On the other side, if your characters are like you, that can help these characters be more realistic. You could also have your stories reflect real life, use your own experiences to fuel how these characters react in certain situations.

As for me, I'm most like one of the minor characters, Eric, who ends up being Jordan's best friend by the end of the book. The subplot of the book is actually a bit reflective of some things that happened to me in high school. I can simultaneously use my experiences to make the story richer, and use the story to work through any unresolved feelings. Of course, you always want the story itself to be your main focus. Don't get too caught up in your own issues to forget that these are fictional characters.

Honestly, though, I have more fun writing as Jordan than any other character I've ever created, and I'm sure the fact that we're so different has a lot to do with it. I guess even when it comes to writers and their characters, opposites do attract.

N is for Novelitis (Plus Giveaway Winners!)

I've talked about the "curse of the novel" before (back when I had about five followers so I'm sure no one read it), but since I've put a name to it, I thought I'd go a little bit more in depth. I have novelitis. I can only write novels.

I'm sure this seems a little silly. I've talked about writing poetry before, and I've only finished writing two novels, but that doesn't even begin to cover all of the ideas, snippets, and partially written drafts that I've worked on. The problem I have with actually finishing novels is a topic for another today. My problem is ideas.

Both of the novel I've finished started out as short stories. By the time I finished each short story, I realized there was something else there. I could keep going with the story, or in the case of my current WIP, stretch it out so the plot wasn't so rushed. Basically, I've come to realize that I am incapable of writing a short story. Any time I come up with a good idea, it's always too big for the short story format. I just can't reign it in.

Now this isn't always a bad thing. My current story really does work better as a novel than a short story. But it can be a bit frustrating to set out writing a short story, and then realize that there's a LOT more work to do. Writing a novel takes a lot of time and energy, and you have to commit to it.

Maybe I'm cursed, or maybe I just think too big. Either way, the struggle continues. Maybe someday I'll write an actual short story.

And now for the fun part! Thanks to everyone who participated in my 100 Followers Giveaway! I'm at 97 now (getting there, getting there). So now it's time to announce my two winners. The winner of the $25 Amazon Gift Card is (insert drum roll here...) Anna Cade! And the notebook and pen goes to...Leandra Wallace! Yay! Congrats to the winners! I'll be emailing you so you can claim your prizes!

This was a lot of fun. I'll have to come up with more giveaways in the future. :)

M is for Moving On

Thanks to everyone who entered my 100 Blog Followers Giveaway! I'll be announcing the winners tomorrow. Still only at 95 followers, but I just realized the A to Z Challenge is only half over! Yikes!

So I think I've finally made a decision about my life. My last day of work is going to be June 3rd. I haven't told my boss yet since I think it's too soon, maybe sometime in May. I wanted to give myself a little more time to earn just a bit more money, so I'm not diving into my savings right away once I'm jobless. My fiance and I are going on a trip to Las Vegas on the 5th so I figured that was a good time to leave. So I'll quit my job and immediately go on vacation! And no, we're not getting married there...

It's a really, really long time coming. When I went back to work after my staycation and still felt burnt out and miserable, I knew I really couldn't do it anymore. My job is sucking the life out of me. If I'm in a position where I can afford to give it up, then I really think I have to.

I still want to finish my second draft before I leave my job, which honestly, is probably the main reason I'm giving myself almost two more months. I have a lot of planning to do, but I'm really looking forward to being able to focus on my writing and looking for a job that is something I actually want to do.