An Abundance of Symbolism

I was a sophomore in high school when we read Lord of the Flies. It was a long, grueling unit filled with endless discussions and essay topics. We would even take paragraphs and break down every single word to show how they symbolized this or that. Every word in the book had its place. This sort of thing happened a lot in high school English classes: they want you to pick out themes and symbols and figure out what the author was really trying to say.

Well, I wasn't buying it. I'd been writing since I was eight years old and I had not once tried to put any symbolism in anything I had written. I was convinced that no writer ever actually did this on purpose, and that English teachers just found all these things in books to give us more work. I thought all writers really did was tell stories. Anything else was accidental.

If I could go back and talk to my sophomore self, I'd probably slap her. Because I love, love, LOVE symbolism. Of course writers put it into their stories on purpose! We're geniuses. But she was half right. Sometimes it is accidental. But that doesn't mean we don't notice it.

I use a ton of symbolism and other devices to weave a more intricate story. Remember how I subtly use cannibalism to be symbolic? Yes, on the surface, you're just telling a story. You've got characters and setting and plot. But underneath is where all the juicy stuff lies. Stuff that not everyone may even notice. I think that's the most fun part about it.

Most often, symbolism is used in the form of an object representing a more abstract idea. That doesn't mean you have to limit yourself to whatever is lying around your character's house. I feel that underneath my main story line is an intricate web of linking moments, characters who mirror each other, words that are repeated a specific number of times. And if you brush up on your Ancient Greek history, you might know exactly why I have a scene where my characters are looking at statues in a museum.

Sometimes it works the other way around. Sometimes I have to figure out why I put a particular object in a scene and then figure out how I can make it work in a symbolic way. If I didn't find a way to make them work, they would seem awkward and out of place. Like any other moment in your novel, there needs to be a reason for it. You don't want to have something there just for the hell of it.

Symbolism and other literary devices can be a lot of fun if you know how to make them work for your story. I could ramble for days about it, and probably will again. Hopefully this made at least a little sense. :)

Breaking Promises and NaNo is in a Week???? Whaaaa?

I almost made a promise at the end of my last blog post. I was planning on writing up a quick synopsis for my WIP (doesn't seem like a fitting title anymore, Editing in Progress? Work in Post Progress? Work in Grueling Never-ending Not a Whole Lot of Progress?). You know, to fully explain all of my vague descriptions of plot and for all those people who have asked me "what's your book about?" Luckily, I made no such promise, because I don't really feel like it today. I know it's going to take a bit of time to get it just right. So all I will promise is that I will eventually at some point post it. When? I don't know. But soon.

I think it's important not to make promises when it comes to blogging. Even if they're small, even if you don't have a lot of blog followers, it's not a good idea because you might not always be able to deliver. I've done this a few times--you know, the "stay tuned and I'll explain everything on Monday" sort of thing. Well, what if someone was really looking forward to that Monday post? And what if it never happened? And then you come back on Friday apologizing and offering excuses. Yeah, 'cause I've never done that or anything.

You need to be able to keep people's attention. If you break a promise, they may stop checking out your blog altogether because they won't trust you anymore. Chances are it isn't nearly as serious as this, but you never know. You wouldn't want to lose even one follower just because you were too tired to keep a promise you made a few days ago.

It's important to really think things through. If you already have the next post written, then it's ok to promise it. If you're just planning on it, it might be better to not say anything. You may change your mind and not want to write that post at all. It's happened to me before. Luckily I didn't make any promises on the blog, but I have said on Twitter something like, "I think I'll post about this tomorrow!" And then the next day changed my mind. Sometimes the idea doesn't seem as appealing or even feels embarrassing to write about.

Anyway, I've rambled way too much about this. It's only a week until NaNoWriMo!!!! I'm working next Friday night (boo!) so I won't be able to participate in #writeclub. But I think I'll request Friday nights off for the rest of the month. The writing sprints usually help me get a lot done.

All right, since it's only a week away, I guess it's time to reveal something big about my NaNo idea. GENRE. In case you didn't figure it out by Jordan's incessant hinting, it's...drum roll please...VAMPIRES!!!!! I'm so excited to be going back to my fantasy roots. But there is a twist, as well, so that this story will tie in all of the things I love to write. It's hard to decide on a genre on the NaNo site, as they've got Fantasy as well as Horror & Supernatural. I wish I could pick several genres. Oh well, I'll figure it out.

I guess I'll throw in some bonus info, too. My super awful, probably been done a million times, pending title for my NaNo book is Blood Lust. Yeah, I know, it's terrible. But at least it's something.

How do you feel about breaking promises? Excited for NaNo? Are vampires Fantasy or Horror? And do you still need a NaNo buddy? My NaNo name is sarahafoster. Let's buddy up!

To Blog or Not to Blog

My goal for this blog is to post something every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Most of the time, however, that doesn't happen. For all of my various excuses, I think I've really narrowed it down to two.

The first reason we'll call exhaustion. I think this covers both long work days (like my 13 hour shift last Monday) and just generally being tired. So even if I have time to write a blog, sometimes I'm just too tired to actually do it. I know this isn't a very good excuse, but I'm sure most of you can also relate. Also, the solution to this problem is pretty obvious. I need to write my posts ahead of time. I could even type the posts up on Blogger and just save them rather than posting. Then on the posting day, just click Publish. It's that simple.

Of course, it's easier said than done. Finding the time to get a bunch of blog posts done is difficult, especially when there's editing and NaNo prep, and well, life. And there's also the problem that is my second reason for not blogging regularly: not having any ideas.

I think my two problems are combined most of the time, actually, but it's the second one that really stops me from blogging. How do you blog when your mind is blank? When there are no ideas that pop up, nothing interesting going on to tell everyone about. I'm in between things right now, I finished my book and I'm waiting for November to start my NaNo book. So there's nothing going on right now. I haven't gotten deep enough into editing to offer any progress or advice. So what the hell do I write about?

That was my problem for today and answering that question will only work for this one post. If I have the same problem on Friday, then maybe I won't blog at all. Which leads to me to an even bigger question: is it better to not blog or to blog about nothing?

I suppose the obvious answer is that you must, under any and all circumstances, blog something. Surely you can find something to talk about, even if you're just rambling about life in general. I guess the only problem with that is that you still want your blog to have some focus. I write about writing, so if I'm not writing, then what do I write about? What sort of topics are going to intrigue my followers or anyone who stumbles upon my blog or my tweets to actually read through to the end? Should I be writing about more topics, things that interest me or relate to my writing somehow? I really don't know. But it is something I've been thinking about.

So what do you think? Blog or not blog? Where do you get ideas from? Should I expand on the things I write about?

Post Book Stress Disorder

I know, I know, I said I would blog on Monday. I forgot that I also had to work thirteen hours that day. Yeah, that was fun. I don't really have an excuse for the other days, except maybe exhaustion.

Anyway, I feel like I'm having some sort of anxiety attack. And I have no idea why. I don't think it's because I have to go back to work tomorrow for a twelve hour shift. It might be because I feel like I've wasted my two days off, not accomplishing much besides watching a couple movies and a trip to Wal-Mart. It might also be because I have no idea what to do next.

Maybe this is all subconscious. Maybe being in the stage where my book wasn't finished was a safe place. Now I have the daunting task of editing, then query letters, then rejections. It's terrifying.

But this is supposed to be a happy time! And it is, really. I'm glad the book is done. I suppose I should start with the tale of how I finished. Last Friday, a miracle occurred, and not in that I finished the book, but that I had the day off. Since my boyfriend was going out, mostly my plans consisted of eating leftover chicken tacos and watching a movie on demand that I'd been dying to see. But I also figured I had time for writing.

Back during my vacation in July, I discovered the magical Twitter hashtag that is #writeclub (check out the website here). At the time, a small group of writers were using it nightly, but its real purpose is for Friday nights. This is when writers get together and write for 30 minute sprints, not stopping until time is up. It runs for at least twelve hours, starting at 7 PM UK time. So that's 2 PM for me. And I thought I'd get an early start in the afternoon, then do my planned activities and get back to writing late night when my inspiration is really at its best.

What I didn't plan for was the muse being so active. On the first sprint I joined, I stared at the blank screen for at least five minutes. I couldn't think of how to start my last chapter. Then I thought to myself, "It isn't going well." And then I typed it. And it just seemed to work. It's exactly how Jordan feels at this point in the book, about his relationship, about his life in general. This sparked a whole scene in my head, a discussion with his best friend, Eric, who usually ends up being unintentionally insightful. And so the words started flowing.

And I just kept writing. I only stopped once to have dinner (yes, tacos). I never watched my movie. The breaks between the writing sprints were agonizing because I just wanted to keep going. I would cheat and write a few sentences when I wasn't supposed to be writing at all. And, by some other miracle, at exactly ten minutes before midnight, I typed out the last line. At this moment, I think I had a good panic attack. I couldn't breathe for a moment. The last line, which I had never once envisioned, was perfect. The ending was heartfelt and sad, but real. The sex scene, which certainly wasn't perfect, still had a good balance of vagueness to vulgarity. You only know what the narrator is comfortable telling you. All in all, it was a good wrap up for the entire novel, the main theme saying not that you should embrace every aspect of who you are, but that you are helpless to fight it. I know, it's a bit daunting, but while it's not a happy ending, it is an ending of acceptance.

So it was done. First my Twitter account was bombarded with congratulations, then after I announced the event on Facebook, several coworkers offered their support over the next few days. Of course, it was often followed by the inevitable, "what's your book about???" that I'm always too terrified to answer. But that's probably another issue entirely.

Well now it's been a week. I've let the joy settle and now I'm really starting to think about editing and finally deciding on a title. It goes between excitement and mind-numbing fear. And that's probably why I'm stressed out. I know I should also be plotting out my NaNo book, but part of me also just wants to write it out of thin air once November 1 hits. I'd love to join #writeclub tonight, but I don't actually have anything to write. Just a whole lot of editing. I do want to also write a brief synopsis that I can post on here so that my readers can actually know what the book is about besides all my constant vague references.

So I've got editing, I've got NaNo. I want to write poetry again and even personal essays. There's a lot to do. Strangely enough, I think the last two sentences of my novel are quite appropriate, despite the fact that there's still a lot of work to do, and I'll never really move on:

What's left, anyway, after something is complete? You just move on to the next thing. 

THE BOOK IS DONE

Yes, you read that correctly. I didn't want to save this news for Monday. After about two and a half years of bitching and moaning and not getting much done, I finally finished a complete first draft of my novel. There are fireworks going off in my head. Anyway, I'll come back on Monday to explain more.

Next stop: TITLE! But probably NaNoWriMo first because coming up with a title for this book is a bitch....

Points, Pounds, and Prose

Let the counting begin!

It’s now my fifth day on Weight Watchers. I did it once before, about three or four years ago, with great results. I don’t quite remember how many pounds I lost at the time, but I remember how much I gained back. I mostly blame my job. I don’t think I should mention where exactly I work, but I’ll say it’s in a restaurant that has very fattening food and even worse desserts. And by worse I mean delicious. And I have absolutely no will power. So I’ve gained roughly 30 pounds working there, despite the fact that it’s such a physically demanding job that I should literally be working my ass off.

I only quit WW before because I was unemployed and couldn’t afford to keep going to meetings or buy all the fruits and veggies that you’re required to eat. Let’s face it, the foods that are bad for you are also the cheapest. But since I’ve recently come in to some money, I figured a great way to spend some of it would be to better myself.

It’s a lot of work. But since I think I’m pretty fixated on food, it’s a good program for me. You have to keep track of what you’re eating, making healthier choices and getting in specific servings of fruits and veggies, dairy, etc. And I’m taking vitamins. If I could only get myself to floss…

Something else I’ve been thinking a lot about lately is word count! In order to win NaNoWriMo, your novel has to meet at least 50,000 words. I haven’t quite mapped out a schedule yet, and it will probably be hard to do so since I get my work schedule less than a week before it begins. So it’ll probably be a day by day process. But I have begun mapping out my novel. I’m even finally breaking in my free trial of Scrivener. We’ll see how it all goes.

I thought I’d reveal something about my NaNo book with every blog post until November 1, when I’ll post my synopsis on my page there (I’m still fine tuning it, actually). Something that I’ll have to use in this particular story that I’ve never used before are flashbacks. There are some details about my protagonist that while they aren’t essential for the plot line itself, they are necessary in order to understand the character and his situation. Like, if I left these things unanswered, the reader would be confused. They’d want answers. But I think flashbacks can be tricky. Certainly I’ve alluded to the past with other stories before, but that’s usually not more than a few sentences. For this particular book, I’ll have to include whole scenes of flashbacks.

I’ll probably be able to write more on the subject of flashbacks once I actually write them. I do think you have to find a good balance, not overdoing it and finding the right spot to include each one. The flashback should be relevant to what’s happening in the present.

Oh! I almost forgot! If you want to be buddies on the NaNoWriMo site, check out my page here (which I promise to develop more): http://nanowrimo.org/participants/sarahafoster

Jordan Takes Over: Musing Around

**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance...**

Did you miss me? I know you did.

So. Business. Blech. This will be short, though. We’re gonna be doing a revamping of the whole Muse Mondays thing soon, so that it’s more concrete and easier for other people to do. But not right now. We’re way too busy. Trying to finish this book, right? Then stupid NaNoWriMo, which she just insists on doing, and I guess I have to help. So I’m thinking December-ish. Just in time for my birthday! So think about what you’re all getting me.

There’s supposed to be a point to this, right? A certain point to each post I make. Like, I’m supposed to give you some insight from the point of view of a muse and character. Well, I don’t really feel like it. I mean, why do I need to solve your problems anyway? So I’ve got no major points to make today, no writing tips or advice. I’ll save that for the writer.

I want to spoil this whole NaNoWriMo thing sooooooo bad. But she’d kill me. I mean, like really, she could kill me off (pfft yeah right, I could barely say that with a straight face). But I’ll give you some little tidbits. Well the great thing about being a muse is that I can dig through memories and old projects and find some juicy stuff that we can make even better. So it’s something old. Something she started when she was a teenager, but didn’t have nearly the amount of insight or, ahem, inspiration that she does now. It started out as a really bad short story and a few cute but not well plotted vignettes. But we’re taking the characters and giving them whole new life. Or death, for some. Get it yet? I can’t say anything more. I’ll get in trouble. Wouldn’t want to get BITTEN or anything.

I swear I’ll come up with a better idea for next month’s post. I’m open to ideas, too. Like, what would you want your muse to explain to you? Why they exist? Why they’re such assholes? Or what would you want to ask your characters? We’re like real people, just living in a world that you designed. That’s some crazy philosophical shit, right? 

JP

Crazy Super Awesome Goals

Time for a quickie. Yeah, I said it. I regret nothing.

I was just browsing through some tweets this morning when NaNoWriMo came up. And as usual, I thought to myself, "pfft I'm not doing that." I've really only tried to write an entire novel in the month of November once, when I was still in high school, and I gave up rather quickly. There's the usual excuses, I don't have time, I don't have any ideas, which are of course true. But isn't the whole point of NaNoWriMo to push yourself, to make it happen? To go beyond the lame excuses that you let yourself get away with during the rest of the year?

Anyway, since I've tried to get more serious about my writing after college, I've considered doing it. The problem was always that I already had another novel in progress, one that I certainly didn't want to interrupt. And I never had any other ideas that were good enough to try.

Well yesterday I wrote about a page and a half of my sex scene for the final chapter. It's handwritten and in a smaller notebook, but at least it's something. I've started to make some progress. So really, I don't see any problem with finishing the whole book by the end of October. There goes my first excuse.

So what about the second? Well, it just so happens that I came up with an idea for a novel about a month or so ago, one that I think I actually could write quickly. I've only written the first paragraph, but I've played out the scenes for pretty much the entire plot in my head over and over again. The best part is that this is a story that combines my two favorite genres. If you don't know what those are, you'll have to stick around to find out (insert evil laugh). But the whole thing is rather sexy and suspenseful and I've only put off writing it to finish my current WIP.

So! My goals are to finish my WIP by the end of the month and to FINALLY do NaNoWriMo. And I mean actually do it, not just say I'm going to, or write a few chapters and give up. I mean, the whole thing. Hopefully everything will work out.

Oh, I need to give a shout out to my former muse, Amber, because today's her birthday. I swear I'll get back to her story eventually. I had a dream once that she and Jordan met up and we were all going to go to a carnival. I have no idea what it meant.

The Stupid Sex Scene

Ok, so I've decided it's about damn time to kick my butt back into regular blogging. And what better day to start! It's time for another Insecure Writer's Support Group post. Check out Alex J. Cavanaugh's blog to learn more. 

Lately I’ve been insecure about a lot of things. What I want to do with my life, what sort of career I should be pursuing, how to get back into blogging and trying to do something with the piles and piles of poetry that I’ve written.

But mostly it’s this stupid sex scene.

Ok, really, it’s more about finishing the book in general. It’s about figuring out how the book should end. Because obviously I know what needs to happen (sex scene, duh), but it’s a bit more difficult figuring out why it happens. As I was writing the book, whenever I would think about the ending I would always say to myself that I would know what to do when I got there. That I just couldn’t picture the ending without getting through the rest of the plot first. Well, now I’m here, and I still don’t know.

And yes, there’s also the sort of physical mechanics of the sex scene that are bothering me. I still don’t know how vague or graphic to make it. I feel like going in between will be some sort of cop out. Making it vague might make sense to the plot, but I feel like it would also disappoint my readers if they go through the book waiting for the juiciest part and it just fizzles out. But writing a straightforward, graphic scene doesn’t feel right either. I mean, I haven’t exactly held back in any descriptions before in the book, but none of those were actual sex scenes. There was always a limit.

I try to tell myself constantly, “Ok, just write it one way and see if it works. If it doesn’t, try another.” But every time I even try picturing the end, it’s like my brain shuts off. Like it’s just too difficult to deal with and figure out. And I’d rather just watch TV or something. But I want, no, need to finish this freaking book, like, right now. I just can't figure out how to do it. 

I suppose the best thing to do is just to write and write, and write some more. Even if it's horrible. Because then at least there will be something. Even if I have to rack my brain for twenty minutes just to get one sentence down. It's better than nothing. And if I keep trying, maybe I can figure it out. 

Losing My Motivation

Hey, everyone! First off, I want to thank everyone who left comments on my last post, as well as all of my followers for putting up with my absence. It means a lot to me. I know I said I'd be back right away but that's kind of what today's post is about. Today's the day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group. Check out Alex J. Cavanaugh's blog to learn more.

I guess I'm insecure about my motivation. I just don't have any. A little over a month ago I was just one chapter away from finishing my novel and couldn't have been more excited. Now I'm still in the same position, but not excited at all. And certainly not moving forward.

I haven't wanted to write, blog, or even tweet lately. It seems that all I have the motivation to do is go to work and then spend my free time rotting in my apartment watching Netflix with my boyfriend. I don't feel depressed, but I'm sure on some subconscious level I am. I'm not sure if I've fully processed my mom's passing. I feel fine most of the time, then I'll have a moment here and there when I'll feel sad but then I'll move on from it. It still doesn't feel real.

I guess lately I just don't want to do anything. I didn't even want to write this blog. I still think about my book a lot and how I'd like to end it. I think I might also be avoiding it just because finishing it is hard. There's still a lot to figure out. But I really need to finish it.

Maybe I can't just sit around waiting for my motivation to come back. Maybe I just have to push through and get the words out even if I don't want to. Because in the end it will be worth it.

A Brief Hiatus

Hey all, just wanted to do a quick check in to let you know what's going on. I'm taking a short break from blogging. My mother passed away over the weekend. It was very sudden and we're all in a state of shock. She was only 59 and was taken from us far too soon. I've spent most of the week with my sister and her husband making arrangements, and the service will be on Monday.

So I won't be doing Jordan's Muse Mondays or Insecure Writer's Group next week. I'm still gonna try to finish the book before my birthday next Friday, and I'll most likely be back to blogging on Monday the 12th to let you know how that goes.

Thanks to everyone for following and for your continued support.

Work, Distractions, and Impending Good News

I know, I know, I haven't blogged in a week. Transitioning back into real life after vacation was rough. I think after spending so much time writing, I brought some of Jordan's sassy wit with me but you know, just being at work kind of squashed that out after about a day. And on Saturday I worked over 15 hours straight, just sitting down for about ten minutes to scarf down some food. So back to the usual exhaustion, really.

Anyway, I'll be brief here. Just a few goodies to share!

The good news is that I have managed to keep writing despite being back at work, which was exactly the sort of push I needed, so the vacation writing extravaganza continues to pay off. That's part of why I haven't been blogging--I wanted to fill my spare time with novel writing.

Want to know the BEST news??? I should have a complete first draft by the end of the week. I'll wait for you to do a double take and read that sentence again. Yes, that's right--a FINISHED first draft! Finally! Right now it's looking like I need to write about 1 1/2 chapters. Unfortunately, the last one is going to be the hardest, but I do have Wednesday and Thursday off to work on it.

So I may not be back to blog on Wednesday (since I'll be busy and whatnot), but hopefully on Friday I'll have some INCREDIBLE news!

Final Vacation Stats!

Well, the day has finally come. The awful day where I have to go back to work. And the first thing I need to do is punch my manager for screwing up my schedule. But anyway, I suppose I should share my final results for what I got done over vacation.

And by now you should know that really only two of my goals made it to fruition. It's not really all that surprising...

Word Count: Drum roll please! The final word count is.......22,284! I know, I know, it's not the 25k I planned on, but it's pretty damn close. I was up until around 1 A.M. last night adding to the final count. So why am I up now? I have no idea.

Despite not reaching my goal, I did manage to knock out a HUGE chunk of my WIP. Four complete chapters written, and three almost complete ones, some of which I may finish today. I'm getting closer and closer to the end and it's getting kind of scary. But I'm really pleased with how it's turning out.

But every time I think that I'm almost done I remind myself that I still have to write the sex scene...so it really doesn't feel close to done at all. Oh well, I'll just keep writing until I get there.

Reading: This one's not so impressive, but at least it's something. I finished my reread of The Catcher in the Rye and read all of Don't Let Me Go. Then I thought I needed a reading break. Because I feel like finishing a book is like ending a relationship--you want to start a new one right away, but sometimes, you just can't. So no, I did not plow through my entire pile of new books. But they'll still be there.

Well, thanks to everyone for checking in on my progress. Hopefully within the next few weeks, I'll have some fantastic news to report. :)

I Hate My Title and Playlists on Crack

It wasn't too long ago when I told you my working title for my WIP, The Formula, as well as shared my playlist for it. Well, I've sort of backtracked, because I hate my title again. So now I'm all alone and titleless. It's like standing in the rain without an umbrella.

Here's the thing--if it wasn't for that contest I entered a while back with the first five chapters, I probably wouldn't have picked a title at all. But since I had to, and had to live at least temporarily with that choice, it grew on me. But then I didn't even advance to the final round of the contest, so I realized I really didn't have to commit to this title at all. And when I didn't have to commit to it, I realized I really didn't like it as much as I thought.

I really think titles are the hardest part of writing a book. If you're trying to make a point in the story, you can spend pages drawing it out, using every word you could possibly think of to get that point across. With titles, you're much more limited. How are you supposed to sum up everything that your novel is about in one short phrase? That's why I realized I didn't like my title. What did it actually say about my book? What about it was going to draw readers into the story? Nothing, really. Because it's not good enough.

But how do I come up with a title that is good enough? Is it even possible? I've been trying to come up with one for over two years and I've got nothing to show for it. Ah, well, the struggle continues.

And for a little added bonus, I wanted to share a little playlist I made. This little story arch between Chapters 12 and 13 is one of my favorite parts of the book. So a lot of songs spoke to me when I wrote it. But I realized that if someone looked at this mini playlist without knowing the context, it probably looks like I was on crack when I made it. But of course, it makes perfect sense to me!

I know I should explain each song choice, but that would just take the fun out of it, wouldn't it? Plus I'd have to explain every detail of those chapters. So instead I decided on an emotion or mood (there can be a violent mood, right?)  that occurs in the book and sort of goes with why I chose that song. (Although I think 1 & 2 could also be swapped or mingled or...whatever!)

1. Lust

2. Insanity

3. Jealousy

4. Regret

5. Violence

6. Forgiveness


What do you think? Was I on crack? How do you choose your titles? Will I ever figure out which chapter is which?

More Vacations Stats:

Word Count: 14,017. Got through Chapter Fifteen. I know I want seventeen chapters when this is all done, and that eighteen should work for the first draft because of the Chapter Two cut, but I feel like I'd be rushing the story if I try to cram everything else in to only three more chapters. So I'm just gonna go with it for now and figure out how to restructure it when I go back and edit.
Poems: ....*crickets*
Blogs: Three. So, as usual, my plans to have blog posts written ahead of time never work.
Reading: I gave up on Tinkers (temporarily, I suppose) because I just had to attack my new stack of books. I couldn't really get into it. I started Don't Let Me Go by J.H. Trumble, got almost halfway through in one day, and talked with the author on Twitter for a bit. Remind me never to fight my reading habits again.

Blog Etiquette

Sometimes when you're starting out blogging, it can feel like you're all alone. Like there are tumbleweeds rolling along at the bottom of your posts. It takes a while to build followers and relationships with other bloggers. But there are certain things you can do that not only help you get more blog traffic, but also show that you're a courteous blogger who knows that you need other people to help you out. The following are just a few tips for being a friendly and successful blogger. They’re really just some basic ideas, and things that irk me when I notice them not happening.

Check out other blogs

This could probably go without saying, but there are some great reasons for checking out other blogs. How can you expect other people to visit your blog if you don’t put yourself out there? The best way to do that is to frequent other blogs that are similar to yours—leave comments, make virtual friends who will then check out your writing because you looked at theirs. I find myself looking forward to days when I know certain bloggers will write a new post. It’s not only a great way to network, but also to get information and advice. Who knows? You could be struggling on a certain aspect of your book, and then one of your blogger buddies writes a post that helps you figure it out. There’s oodles of information out there that can be useful to you.

Return the favor

Don’t you get excited when you see a new comment on your blog? Wouldn’t it be great to give other bloggers that feeling? If somebody took the time to read your blog, you should check out theirs as well. It’s just common courtesy. Where would you be if no one looked at your blog? If you have this constant back and forth between other bloggers, then you’ll create some great relationships and eventually a good reputation as a blogger. There’s a few ways to do this. If somebody leaves a comment on your blog, go to theirs and leave a comment on their latest post. Also, just following someone else’s blog is a great way to support them. You don’t have to read every single post they make, but they’ll get a great boost of self-esteem just by having you as a follower. So it’s a great idea to follow back anyone who follows your blog.

Reply to comments

I’ve finally gotten to the point where I always receive at least one comment on every blog post, so I like to reply to those who took the time not only to read my post, but consider their own thoughts on it and leave a comment. I didn’t always reply to comments because they were usually rare, and I was still in the awkward beginning phase of blogging where I felt like I had nothing to say. But it’s important to show your commenters that their time and thought is appreciated. Even if you don’t know exactly how to respond, even just a thank you or “thanks for stopping by” would be better than nothing. I’m sure most of you just leave a comment on other people’s blogs and that’s that. But I’m one of those psychos that need to keep checking to see if the author replies and what they have to say. And it’s not the end of the world if they don’t respond, but it is a bit of a letdown.

So those are just a few ideas for being a kind and courteous blogger. I’m sure I’ll come up with some more tips in the future and have a Part Two. Just remember how hard it is to start out blogging and the sort of things you would want other bloggers to do for you.

More Vacation Stats!

Word Count: 5,569. I finished Chapter Tweleven (Is it 12 or 11?? I still don’t know) the other night, and it’s AWESOME. Until I reread it next week; then it’ll be awful. I plan on getting another 5k done tonight. Yes, 5! I plan on having another 10k done by the next time I check in.

Poems: Yeah, uh…let’s just move on, shall we?

Blogs: Two! It’s going great, as you can see.

Reading: I finished The Catcher in the Rye this morning and started Tinkers by Paul Harding the other day. Because I’m some sort of masochist who likes to read Pulitzer winning books and try to figure out how my writing can be like that. But I want to finish it fast because MY BOOKS CAME YESTERDAY. I could probably read all four in four days. And by now I’ve probably convinced Amazon that I’m a gay man by my book selection. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. 

Embrace Your Book

Or a better title, Keep Calm and Do What Your Muse Tells You to Do.

Have you ever panicked when you look over the bestseller lists or started to read some award winning book and you just didn't understand it? You look over the books that everyone is reading and you have no idea why--because clearly they're just books that everyone reads because everyone else is reading them. They're cranked out every other week by some famous author with armies of ghost writers. They're not even that good. And the books everyone says is good? It's like you can barely grasp at why these books get good reviews and win awards. You can understand that they're well written, but nothing clicks when you read them. You're bored. You might even feel stupid or that you just don't get it.

So where do you fit in, if you don't feel comfortable in either of these groups?

Everybody wants their book to be a mix of these things. A hot bestseller, but well-written and prestigious. But chances are, you can't have both. There's a good chance you won't have either, but let's not get too depressing here. There's an audience out there for your book, but the first step is knowing exactly what your book is, and not what you want it to be.

Chances are, you started your book with a simple idea, maybe even just a character. But somewhere along the way you had to ask yourself exactly what kind of book you wanted to write. An epic fantasy? A trashy romance? A coming-of-age story? It isn't just about genre, either. You had to choose a writing style, get into a groove with the voice, all the while considering exactly who would want to read your book.

You could get into trouble if your answer is, "everyone." There is no book that every single person is going to like. Even the popular books are hated by someone. So if you try to write your book and please everyone at the same time, the writing will seem disjointed. It won't have a set style. It'll be all over the place. And no matter how good a story it is, it will be bad.

Let your story speak to you. Let it be what it needs to be, not what you desperately want it to be. If you get distracted by long term goals, you could lose sight of the actual story. And you could lose what is great about it. Sure, everyone wants the bestseller list. Everyone wants a Pulitzer. And it's ok to dream. But you have to be realistic, too. When you're writing your first draft, the only person you should be trying to please is yourself. Because you know your story, and you know what it needs to be.

And now for something completely different...

Vacation Stats!

Word Count: 1,838. I would have pushed it to 2k, but I finished the scene I was working on. Plus it was 1 AM. I was sleepy. But the best part? I rewrote the horrible mess that was the hand job scene. And I'm probably experiencing post-scene adoration, but I LOVE it. I think because I managed to have some great subtle dialogue as well as not repeating the same actions over and over again. Plus, it's pretty damn sexy.
Poems: Nada.
Blogs: One, obviously.
Reading: Almost through with my 112th reread of The Catcher in the Rye (or maybe it's just my third, but who's counting? It feels like 112). Holden's definitely a big influence for Jordan's character, but it was one of those things I realized after the fact (psychic???). So reading it usually puts me in the right mindset to write. Also! My Amazon order shipped and should be here on Wednesday! Boooooooooooks!

Vacation Goals!

Today is my last day of work before my 9 day vacation starts! And yes, this last workday is a double (of course), so I'll be brief. I'm not going anywhere (staycation!) and with only a few things planned so far, that leaves me lots and lots of time for writing!

So I've set a few goals for myself, and hopefully I'll get most of them done...

Word Count. It's time to crack down on the first draft. At first I was thinking something ridiculous like 50k, then I thought maybe 30 would be more realistic. But since the first five chapters are around 14k, I brought it down to 20. But then I thought that wasn't good enough. So! The final word count goal for vacation is 25,000. There. That's it. Final decision.

Poems! I don't really plan on writing any new poems unless inspiration strikes, since forcing them never turns out very well. But I have been working on organizing what I have already and getting them polished for submissions. So I'm going to do some more research on different literary magazines and figuring out what poems would work where. No real concrete goal here, just going to try to get a lot done.

Blogs. Obviously I'll still be posting next week, but I also want to write a lot of blog posts that I can save--for all of those times when I don't have the time or energy to get one done. Well, I'll already have them. So the plan is to write 20 blog posts.

Reading. Mmm...books. Finally ordered some books from Amazon and I want to read all of them! First I'll need to finish the books I'm already reading, though. You can check out my progress on Goodreads if you'd like, just find the link on the right of my page. We can be friends, too! Making friends on the internet is so much easier than real life, isn't it?

Do I think I'll get all of this done? Probably not. The word count is the most important goal. I'll be checking next week with what I've accomplished so far. Wish me luck!

Bitch Stole My Plot!

It's that time again! The first Wednesday of every month is Insecure Writer's Support Group day. Check out Alex J. Cavanaugh's blog if you'd like to join!

I don't know if there's a word for a nightmare daydream, but have you ever had one where you're sitting in a movie theater watching the previews and suddenly you see a trailer for a movie that somehow is exactly like the book you're working on? No? Just me?

I think a lot of writers can be paranoid. It comes with the territory. If you have a great idea in your head, then you would be devastated if someone stole it. Especially for those of us who blog about their writing progress, there's always that little voice in the back of your head worrying about who is going to see your words and what they could do with them.

I was recently browsing books on Amazon and came across a novel that had a few similar elements to my WIP. And I proceeded to freak out. There's that moment where it feels like your whole life is over. You think all of your hard work has been for nothing because somebody has already done it. So what's the point in finishing?

You have to think of it this way: Everything's been done before. And yet, it hasn't. There are so many elements that go into a story that make it unique. Sure, there are only so many basic plot structures, and they've been used countless times. But you've got to factor in all of the details of a story--characters, plot twists, subplot. There's no way that you could accidentally write a story that's 100% been done before. Every element of a story makes it different. Like, if I changed my main character, if I swapped genders, changed to third person, or switched point of view. Each one of those changes would be an entirely different story. If I set it in the rural South instead of New York City. Different story. If my protagonist came from a nuclear family instead of a single parent household. Different story. Do you see how many things impact the story you're writing? And you come up with every single one of them.

As I read more about the book, I realized it really had barely anything in common with my WIP. Every story is unique and exists all on its own. In fact, after finally having some extra money, I bought the book and I'm looking forward to reading it. I love reading books in the genre I'm writing, because it helps inspire me. It's not that I look for ideas in these books, but that I wait for them to trigger ideas of my own.

And I know there's always the paranoia of theft. Sometimes we don't want to display any detail about our stories because we're afraid someone will steal it. But once again, it really comes down to all of those elements. Even if you gave just a basic summary and someone did steal it, what are the odds that they would end up writing the same story as you? They couldn't possibly guess every detail that you have planned. And chances are, if they are stealing, they probably aren't as good a writer as you and they won't be able to pull it off.

So write without fear! Your story is completely yours, and no one could write it quite like you.

Jordan Takes Over: Forcing Your Characters

**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance...**

First of all, I've gotta slap some people around. Not a single one of you signed up for the Muse Mondays blog hop. Pfft. Whatever. We don't need you bitches. But in case you have no freaking clue what I'm talking about, click here! It's pretty flexible, I mean just pick any Monday you want. We'll probably get stricter if MORE PEOPLE JOIN.

Anyway, we've been having some issues. And as usual, I'm the one to blame. Sure, blame the muse when you can't write. Take the easy way out. Well, ok. Chapter 12 is such a bitch. Especially because it’s actually Chapter 11. But that’s beside the point!

Ok, let me lay out the scene for you. I go to this party and there’s some girls there. It’s really boring, but somehow I end up talking to this chick Madison, and she totally wants to jump me. Why? Because I’m gorgeous, duh. No, really, it may or may not be to get revenge on this girl who I had a thing with at some point in ancient history and who pissed Madison off for whatever reason. (You don’t find out because I didn’t. Yay first person!) And so we almost do it. Almost?! you're probably wondering—I’ll get to it…

Anyway, the almighty writer doesn’t understand why this chapter is so hard to write. But guess what? I do!

Here’s the problem: I DON’T LIKE GIRLS. Well, maybe sometimes. I guess that’s why it’s confusing. But still, it’s out of character because I swore off girls in the very first sentence of the book. So that brings me to a bigger question—are you forcing your characters? Are you making them do something that they wouldn’t normally do?

So if you try to force your characters—like into a girl’s…OH SHE WON’T LET ME WRITE IT. PG-13 SHE SAYS. Wait, does that mean I only get one f-bomb? When did this rule start?!

What was I saying?! Oh yeah, so if you think you’re in control of your story (is that what you think?), you might try to shove your characters into places where they don’t fit. I mean figuratively! Geez.

Like, ok! An example. Let’s say your character’s really shy, and they see somebody getting picked on, and they just randomly stand up to the bully. Does it seem realistic? Or are you forcing your character to do something they would never actually do just for the sake of the story?

Hold on—What? Stop whispering in my ear, woman! Ok, so if your character overcoming something is part of the plot—like they need to get over their shyness in order to grow, then that’s ok. You just need a reason for it. And the character needs to be aware of how out of character it is for them (whoa). And you need a lot of aftermath and contemplation and all that stuff.

So if you don’t have a good reason for it, then WHY THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IT?

I guess what I’m saying is let your characters be themselves. It’s gonna be obvious if they’re doing something weird. So if you need that moment in the story, you need a reason for it. The whole me and Madison thing is super complicated. But there’s a reason for it happening, and that leads to something happening after that’s even more important. I don’t wanna give anything away…*ahem.* Oh, who am I kidding? I didn’t get laid that night. By anyone. So lame.

But to make it a little clearer—I end up finding Madison attractive because she’s basically the girl version of me and I’m in love with myself (I could be a shrink, I swear). She had a vibe that was different from other girls. Plus I’m just a sucker for attention. So there’s your reasoning for why we start going at it. For a few reasons (that I’m not going to tell you, la la la la la la), it doesn’t happen. BUT. It does put me in a mindset to make a few impulsive decisions that lead to one thing and that leads to another and another and—you get it? The things that happen because of this out-of-character moment end up being HUGE for the overall story. So, there’s reasoning and there’s aftermath.

Those two things are essential if you’re forcing your characters to do something they wouldn’t normally do. Otherwise you’re just pushing them around. They’re not gonna seem like a real person if they’re just doing random shit all the time. You need some consistency, people! Don’t bully your characters. We can bite back. And I’m not gentle.

I guess that’s it. Well. Fuck. Good day!

JP 

The Birthday Goal

Sorry, no writing tips today. This one's all about me. I've had this idea floating in the back of my mind in order to crack down and get my first draft done. I'm not usually good with deadlines, since I'm quite the procrastinator. But lately my progress has completely plateaued. It's like all of my motivation disappeared. So I need to slap it awake.

I actually have three dates in my head for particular goals, but the first one is the most important: finishing the first draft. And my deadline is August 9. Why? Because it's my birthday! I don't know why I picked my birthday, really. I thought about giving myself the whole summer but that didn't seem like a strict enough goal. So it seemed like a good fit. Enough time to actually finish, but not too much so that I'll give up on the goal or take longer than necessary.

And the best part? I'm taking a vacation from work from July 6-14. There will be massive amounts of writing done in this time. I'm planning on getting the majority of the work done during that week, then using the following weeks to wrap it up.

Well, that's it really for today. My brain feels like a pile of mush. Hopefully I'll be making a birthday post about my fabulous first draft! But I'll be bothering you plenty of times until then...

It's Ok to Obsess

Obsess is defined as: (verb) to dominate or preoccupy the thoughts, feelings, or desires of (a person); beset, trouble, or haunt persistently or abnormally.

I've read a lot of things that say you shouldn't fall in love with your writing—that getting overly attached can only lead to heartache. It should come as no surprise that I completely disagree. And not just because I obsess over my own writing. Look at the definition again. Doesn't it describe the writing process perfectly? When you're working on a story, it certainly preoccupies your thoughts, probably your feelings and desires to an extent as well (you desire to write more than anything, right?). And I've certainly been haunted by a story idea before. So obsession is really just a natural occurrence when it comes to writing. And you should embrace it. 

I've been an obsessive person since I was at least 14 years old (probably before that, too, I just can't quite remember). I can't help it, really. Usually it's music, Broadway musicals, or (of course) my own writing. I think it's fun. Sure, there are several things that I like, but only a few things that I obsess over. It's a deeper level of liking something. You develop a personal relationship with that certain thing—you know everything about it. If you meet someone who likes it, too, it's like finding a soul mate. And usually, at least for me, obsessions never die. They may fade a bit, but they're always somewhere in the back of your mind waiting to be dug up and obsessed over again. 

So why should you obsess over your own writing? Well, it's not really that you should, it's that you're going to. If you're not, then your heart may not be in it. Of course, your level of obsession is up to you—there's mild obsession and insane obsession (I won't say which one I have...). You need to like what you're writing—if there's too much distance between you and your work, then the reader will probably notice. It could seem stale and void of emotion. If you want your characters to have passion, then you should have some passion for them. You want your reader to feel the same attachment to your characters that you felt when you wrote the story. 

More than anything, obsession will help you to just get your work done, because you never want to be away from it. So don't fight the obsession—embrace it! 

Over Thinking Your First Draft

Writing the first draft can be the best part of writing. It's when you're exploring the ideas and letting them run wild onto the page. At least, that's what should be happening. But occasionally you may start to worry as you're writing. What if a certain part doesn't work? What if the whole story doesn't work? If you let these thoughts creep into your mind before you even finish your first draft, it can really mess you up.

The whole purpose of the first draft is to just get it all out. Every possible thought that you could have for this story should be on the page. It might not all work, but it's too early to know that yet. Even if you've outlined the entire plot before you started writing, you're still not going to know if every single thing is going to work. You'll need to have some retrospect--get the whole story down and then look back to see how every part fits together. The second draft should be for going back, cutting things out, adding things in--really seeing how the story works as a whole.

This is definitely a case of "do as I say, not as I do." I was thinking about this subject because I couldn't quite figure out why my first draft was taking me so long. Yes, I have a sporadic work schedule and a life to fit in, but those can't be the only reasons. Sometimes when I sit down to write, it's hard to get the words down. I try to tell myself that it's ok for it to suck, just get it out, but I still can't do it. I realized it's because I've been over thinking the whole thing.

I think I have some sort of adapting-a-short-story-into-a-novel-itis, where this is the first draft of the novel, but not of the story itself. I'm trying too hard to fix things as I write them, and not after, like I should. I'm treating the novel too much like a second draft. So I'm constantly doubting myself along the way--trying to write the middle of the book and figure out the ending at the same time, thinking about all of the things I need to change in the first few chapters before I even finish. It's just too much.

It's important to take things one step at a time. If you think of things that need to be fixed, make a note of it then set it aside. You don't need to fix anything until you have a complete draft in your hands. Let yourself get caught up in the whirlwind of first draft writing. This part is the most fun, so enjoy it, and don't over think it.

The Almost Sex Scene

I’ve talked about writing sex scenes before and my issues with vulgarity, but today I’d like to focus on the sex scene’s annoying younger brother, the ALMOST sex scene. Have you ever read a book or watched a TV show and two characters are starting to go at it, and then somebody walks in, or they have a change of heart, or break an aquarium (New Girl, anyone??), and for whatever reason, they don’t have sex? Well this is the scene that I’m talking about, and in some ways, it can be trickier than the sex scene. You don’t want to throw this scene just anywhere in the plot, and there needs to be a reason for it.

I have written so many of these that it’s almost painful. But there always seems to be a reason for it. In my fantasy YA novel, both of my characters are in love with each other and just aren’t saying it, and in a moment of extreme vulnerability they start to get physical, only for one to realize that it would be wrong and they stop. I don’t think I had them stop just because it was a YA novel and I wanted to keep it tame—I think the moment brought the characters to a breaking point where they had to admit their feelings or they couldn’t move forward. With my current WIP, the reasoning is a lot easier—it’s illegal for my characters to have sex. But that doesn’t mean that the scene itself is just thrown in there. Yes, you need a reason for them to stop, but you also need a reason for the scene to exist in the first place.

So why would you want to include this sort of scene? Why have your characters start to get intimate and then get interrupted or decide not to?

I think the main goal in any scene like this is frustration—for the characters and the readers. It’s pretty obvious why your characters will be frustrated. You may be thinking that you never want to frustrate your readers—but in this case, a little bit is ok. Frustration can build suspense when it’s not overdone. If you tease the reader, then when the sex scene actually happens it will be more satisfying than if it had happened already. They will be on the edge of their seats waiting for it to finally happen. But it can be so easy to overdo it.

I used to watch soap operas. I know, I can hardly believe it either. But I bring this up because I remember a couple on one who kept almost doing the deed, over and over again, but it never actually happened. And the tension was fine at first—you know, the will they, won’t they? I would be very disappointed if these characters weren’t in an episode. But after a while it just got silly. The tension fizzled out. I didn’t care anymore. Then one of them died and the show was cancelled two episodes later (I’m not kidding). And they never did it! Forget about frustration, it just didn’t even seem realistic.

So I have a rule for the almost sex scene—you can only have one. That’s it. Just one. What’s that? You want two? Well, you can’t. Why? Because you want your readers to care.

I think one scene is all that your readers are going to put up with. That’s not to say you can’t have several scenes with sexual tension—that’s absolutely a must if you want your readers to believe that your characters are attracted to each other. But if they actually make a decision to get into bed and it doesn’t happen, the reader will be disappointed. A little disappointment is ok—if the book was perfect and happy then it wouldn’t be very interesting, would it? But if you offer the same exact disappointment twice, the reader won’t trust you anymore. They might skip ahead to find the juicy part, or, God forbid, stop reading altogether.

So if your characters are interrupted or change their minds, if they end up in this situation again, they’d better go through with it. You can only string along the reader for so long before the suspense becomes disappointment. 

How Do You Get in the Mood to Write?

When I was fifteen, I had a surefire way to cure writer's block. First I'd have to braid my hair. Not like one big braid or a french braid, but a bunch of tiny little ones all over my head so that I looked ridiculous and had a very hard time sleeping that night. BUT! The next day I would have perfect crinkly, wavy hair. Then I would dress completely in black and make pancakes. And sure enough, I would be able to write. It worked every single time.

Right now you're probably thinking that I was completely insane. Well, you're at least somewhat right, but there are reasons why my psychotic routine worked. I like to get into the mindset of my characters before I write. I feel I can write better if I'm connecting with them and understanding how they feel before I even begin. I like to get into their shoes, so to speak. Or actually, their hair. At the time, the main character in the book I was writing had long, wavy hair. All of my characters wore black (seems silly now, but that's how it was), and there was a scene where one character made pancakes. So everything I did to get in the mood to write had something to do with the characters. I like to think of it as appeasing the muse, so that he/she will feel generous enough to inspire you.

There's no right or wrong way to get in the mood to write. You just have to know what works for you. At one point I had a routine where I would drink coffee late at night and then do yoga before I started writing. Sort of a blend of staying awake but relaxing at the same time. For some reason I find I have more creative energy late at night. If I can stay awake, that is.

So what's my routine nowadays? I wouldn't say that I have one, exactly, but I do have a few little quirks. I like to listen to music before I start writing--it helps me to get ideas going and I figure it has something to do with the fact that my muse is a musician. I usually listen to something that helps me get into the mood for the specific thing I'm writing (like my playlist!). And if I have a day off to write, I'll wear something gray because I associate that color with Jordan--I'm sure thematically it has something to do with moral ambiguity, but really that's just what I always picture him wearing (Do you ever think about your characters wearing different outfits? They're like cartoon characters in my mind--always wearing the same thing.). I find it isn't some huge thing that gets me in the mood to write, but a bunch of silly, little things.

So how do you get in the mood to write? What do you do before you even try to get the words out?

Also, don't forget to check out my Muse Mondays page and join the blog hop!

Do You Need an Antagonist?

I’ve been overthinking things lately, and it’s sending me into a literary panic attack. I can’t figure out who or what the antagonist is in my WIP. I’ve been fluctuating between thoughts of “pssh, I don’t need no stinkin’ antagonist,” and “well, doesn’t every story have one?” Not to mention thoughts that there has to be one in there. But I can’t figure it out. Well, I’ve got my protagonist, of course—that much is clear. His love interest certainly doesn’t feel like an opposing force, at least once I get past the “we are absolutely not getting together” phase. His mom? Well, she’s not around enough and when she is, certainly doesn’t care enough to be disrupting things. Is my antagonist even a person? Is there something hiding beneath the surface that I’m not seeing? But wait! My protagonist is really an antihero at best—does that make him his own antagonist? Is that possible?

See the panic? But my crazy thoughts have got me thinking on a broader scale. Does every story have an antagonist? Do you always need one?

Some people automatically assume that an antagonist is a villain. While this certainly can be the case, it isn’t always true. A villain is usually obvious—some mustache twirling fiend bent on world domination. A bad guy. Usually the hero is trying to stop him. I’ve certainly written villains before—my fantasy stories always had one. But not every story needs a villain. And an antagonist isn’t always going to be one. An antagonist is defined as someone being opposed or struggling against an opponent. This doesn’t necessarily make them evil. Say you’re writing about a student running for class president, and they have an opponent. That person is an antagonist—they want the same thing the protagonist does and only one of them can get it. Now, if that other student resorts to sabotaging the campaign of the other in order to win, that makes them a villain.

So, ok, my story doesn’t have a villain. Not every story needs one. Well, what if your protagonist isn’t exactly a hero? Roles can be reversed. Sometimes the protagonist can be the villain, and the antagonist is the person trying to stop them. Who you’re rooting for depends on how the author spins it. Just because someone is the main character doesn’t mean they have to be perfect and morally upstanding. Take Macbeth, for example. Obviously Macbeth is the main character in the play, but he certainly isn’t perfect. He commits murder to become king, and continues to have people killed in order to stay in power. Sometimes having a good guy be the main character isn’t always the way to go. What if the student in our election story is a good person, but decides that she can’t win and has to destroy the reputation of her opponent? It can be more interesting to watch a hero descend into wrongdoing than just despair at something bad happening to them.

So yes, I think my protagonist is an antihero. He purposely corrupts someone else in order to gain things for himself. But I still don’t know who my antagonist is. I guess I’ve created a situation where both main characters can be seen as a victim depending on how you look at it. But there’s no opposing force that’s clear to me. I’ve read things about how your antagonist doesn’t even need to be a person. Is society my antagonist? Well, maybe a bit. I’d feel stronger about this if my characters were desperately in love and the legality related to their age difference was the only thing keeping them apart. But that’s not the story I’m writing. So then is my protagonist battling himself? Is there an aspect of himself that is actually the antagonist? Well, that doesn’t seem to fit, either. He’s not struggling with his sexuality, and he doesn’t feel guilty about manipulating other people. He’s only concerned with getting what he wants.

Have I totally screwed things up by not having an antagonist? Or is there one there that I’m just not seeing? I feel like every character has a little evil in them, but that doesn’t necessarily make them a villain. It just makes them human. I’ll probably be pondering my antagonist (or lack thereof) until I figure it out, or decide I don’t need one.