Well, it's almost the end of November, and I find myself realistically thinking about whether or not I'm going to finish my book for NaNoWriMo. And it's not looking good.
I've only written about 23,000 words. Even at my creative best, I can really only write about 1,000 words an hour. I'll admit it's hard for me to write anything when it's not the perfect word in my mind. I do a lot of blank page staring.
But honestly, it's a bigger problem than that. I just have no motivation for this book anymore. And yes, it's partially because I wrote the most intense scenes already and now it's more about filling in the gaps. I really have no desire to write the flashback scenes. The narrator's voice has been shaping itself a bit more, but really only during the most interesting moments. When he starts thinking, when he's worrying about what to do in a situation, it gets boring. I do love the first kiss scene--good lord, was that intense. See, it's better when there's action.
Sometimes when I think about trying to work on this book, I sort of cringe and try to avoid it. I do the dishes or watch TV. At best, I'll write about 300 words in a day. I just have no desire to work on it anymore.
I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I just want to get back to editing my other book. I really miss working on it. And I've wasted enough time NOT working on it, since, you know, it took me over two years to write the first draft. Plus I really, really miss writing in Jordan's voice. It's more fun. And I've worked on it for so long that I don't even have to think about it when I write as him. It just comes naturally. And it's not boring, unlike this stupid vampire narrator who doesn't know what the hell he wants. It's kind of like temporarily breaking up with your boyfriend for a month to go out with some other guy who turns out to be really boring.
So chances are, I'm not going to make it to 50,000. But tonight is WriteClub and I have to try! I don't have to necessarily finish the book, I just have to make the word count. But honestly, if I don't make it to 40,000 by tonight, I don't see it happening. So we'll see. I'm still going to try to get it done, or it least keep working on it until the end of November. Then I'll set it aside and get back to editing. And it'll always be there if I need a break.
Also, I was planning on running errands today but since it's raining and yucky out, that's really not gonna happen. So, more time for writing!