While I feel these particular poems definitely need some heavy editing, if I had tried to start fixing them, I would never be done, so decided to share them as is (otherwise I'd never get this post done!). The first poem is a more personal one, and tells a story of love first found and then lost. The second is based on a piece of fiction (and actually helped me create the last two lines of my novel), and is more about love not necessarily lost, but complete. Enjoy!
Origami Roses
She knew before it happened—
there was softness in his voice
and a looming February holiday.
One day felt longer than the
months before—
the careful footsteps around
each other,
the coy remarks and lasting
glances.
He made her the center of
attention,
forced to clutch a glass vase to
her chest.
Two were received every hour—
vibrant red petals and green
stems,
white tags asking of her
commitment.
When he appeared with the final
two,
her answer was easy to give;
she knew it after getting the
first.
Those roses were elegant,
everlasting,
but they weren’t real.
Though he labored over every
fold
with sincerity and passion,
they would always be fake.
Maybe then she would have seen
the end as possible,
instead of believing his
emotions
that could not last as long as
these symbols.
She would have preferred real
ones
to wilt quickly for her; they
would have been
much easier to throw away.
Complete
He asks if I am happy.
Happy! What a strange word.
I couldn’t begin to comprehend
what it means. Which isn’t to say
that I am sad, either. But what
is there to feel when your work is done?
When you have molded yourself for so long
and find that there are no more bits
of clay to stretch, no marks to carve.
Happy? No. What I am is complete.
All my unfinished parts sewn together
and finding their place. And the pain
was entirely necessary, to rip up
all those pieces before they could
be brought together. Now I can say
that I am my own.
But what is left, after something
is complete? What can you do,
but move on to the next thing?
**As an added bonus, I've also realized that while the poems themselves work for the theme, the fact that I'm showing you my poems at all does as well. Because what I've also lost is my love for writing poetry. Back in college I could write a poem a day, but at some point I just wasn't able to. Maybe by sharing and eventually editing my poems, that love and ability will be able to come back.
Hope this spurs you to write more poems.
ReplyDeleteThe first one is sad. Although once they fake flowers got dusty, I'd have no problem throwing them away.
That's really lovely poetry.
ReplyDeleteI used to write a lot of verse in college, but these days I don't write any poetry, really, apart from haiku.
Lovely poems! I lost my love for writing poetry since I was in grade school. I used to write poems all the time. Now I don't. I hope this gets you to write more poetry.
ReplyDeleteI remember writing poetry as a senior in high school, but after that? It just stopped. I like these poems, especially the second because at first it sounds like the person is "happy" in the relationship, but in the end, you see they are going to move on. That turn around is unexpected, a cool surprise.
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteI definitely hope that your love for writing poetry comes back quickly. I read both poems and must say the first poem, even in its melancholy, touched my emotions. Lost love in waxed roses that never die as opposed to one that wilt and you throw away. The symbolism is fantastic.
The second poem Complete left me a little nervous. Completion signifies for me the end of something. One doesn't grow anymore. You stagnate and die. So, even though I liked it, I didn't see the continuing on. Or maybe that is it. You complete something and you move on to something new.
Regardless, you did an excellent job and I could sit here at my computer and talk about the meaning hidden in both poems all night, but I won't do that.
Shalom,
Patricia
Your poetry is awesome. Keep it up. Don't stop.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful prose.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I argue with the first one that someone who puts the time into folding all of those paper roses for someone is definitely worth it. The effort to me would signify a much more lasting commitment than the money spent on real flowers. So not to be controversial or anything...
Poetry never leaves you, it patiently waits. Trust me.
ReplyDeleteI really like the ending on your first poem. It tugs at you and wraps everything well.
I do hope this sharing gets you inspired to write more poetry. It's my favorite.
ReplyDeleteI'm not on the blog tour but I did enjoy reading your poetry. Sharing such personal words can be difficult. I especially like the second poem because it reveals much. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteYou did amazing and I love your poetry. Thanks so much for sharing it
ReplyDeleteI think the poems are good! Poetry was always difficult for me to write, especially because I used to feel pressure to rhyme; that was until I read cool poets who never rhymed at all but still got their message across.
ReplyDeleteYour poems are wonderful! Thanks for sharing them. I hope they have instilled within a newfound love for writing poetry. I have written a few poems in my past but I find them hard to compose. I admire anyone who can write good poetry. Keep it up! And keep sharing please!
ReplyDeleteMichele at Angels Bark
I hope sharing the poems gets you writing more. =D
ReplyDeleteI thought your poems were beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI don't write much poetry. It's harder than it looks!
Your poems are lovely, so please do find your lost love for writing poetry again.
ReplyDeleteI used to write a fair amount of poetry too. As I've gotten older I'm busier doing other things, but it's probably a good idea to revisit ones poetic talents. Thanks for sharing your poems for Lost & Found.
ReplyDeleteArlee Bird
Wrote By Rote