Conflicted? Me???

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

This month's optional question is: Have you ever written something that afterwards you felt conflicted about? If so, did you let it stay how it was, take it out, or rewrite it?

If you've been here before, you probably know this was me after reading this question: 

My whole story concept (of my main WIP, at least) has me conflicted. But I've come too far and worked way too hard on it to scrap the whole thing just because of its controversial subject matter. 

I think if anything, being conflicted will actually make the story better. You know, if I ever get back to writing it. When I first started the story I didn't really put too much thought into the fact that I was writing about a taboo topic. It was just the idea that popped into my brain and I was going with it. But now that I've spent a lot of time with it and really thought about the subject matter, I know I have to really take it seriously and put in the work to make this a story worth reading. And hopefully one that people won't immediately brush off once they know what it's about. 

Anyhoo, I've talked about this subject on here too many times to count. Speaking of counting, I am counting down the days until my birthday vacation! After this Friday, I'm off work for a week, and my husband and I are going back to New York City! We're seeing Sweeney Todd, which is one of my favorite musicals and one that I've never seen live. We're also doing plenty of other activities, some new, and some we've done before (going back to the cat cafe for the third time!). 

I always hope that being in New York will get me back into writing because that's where my story takes place. I thought I would watch some writing related Youtube videos and maybe even bring my book on finding your story's theme while I'm on the train. Maybe I can spark some creativity. But either way, it should be a fun trip and most importantly, I won't be at work! 

Ideas, Ideas, Ideas!

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

This month's optional question is: 99% of my story ideas come from dreams. Where do yours predominantly come from?

I'd say my ideas come from all over the place. I've gotten a couple ideas from dreams, most notably the novel I still refer to as Shiny New Story, although it is no longer shiny or new, just titleless. I had a dream about two characters who were in a particular relationship/situation (I can't tell you what--it's a spoiler!) and I thought that would be really interesting to write about. 

Uneven Lines came to me after watching this trashy exposé on student-teacher relationships on TV. For reasons I can no longer fathom, I wanted to write about a taboo relationship between a student and a teacher (AKA the dumbest idea I ever had, yet here we are). A few hours later, while I was sitting in a writing class minding my own business, Jordan birthed himself from my brain and threw his entire story at me. And the rest was history. 

Honestly, the fact that the story centers around a controversial relationship has been the hardest part (that and dragging subplots...). I want to make sure I get the story right or no one is going to be interested in reading it. Of course, I've talked about my creative slump more times than I can count here, which is probably the biggest factor in me not finishing the book. But I have to make sure I tell the story right, and I just haven't had the brain power to get there. 

Other ideas have just kinda popped out of thin air. I started writing Sexy Fluff #1 because I was just doing a writing exercise with some characters from an Uneven Lines sequel, and realized that I could write happy, sexy romance scenes much more easily than my usual complicated storylines. I had a random thought that I could probably finish books faster and possibly even get them published and make money doing so. But I couldn't actually think of a plot, right? 

Well...I came up with a plot by the next morning. And I decided to start writing it for NaNoWriMo (which was literally right around the corner). I still haven't finished it, due to aforementioned creative slump, but working on it was a nice break from my usual heavy story ideas. I also have an idea to create a whole series of Sexy Fluffs with a different romance trope for each book  (#1 has a rivals to lovers plot). I think it could be fun. 

Overall, though, I feel like I actually have a hard time coming up with new ideas. Maybe it's because I already have enough unfinished ideas taking up space in my brain. Perhaps once I actually finish them, more ideas will follow. 

Creative Slump

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

This month's optional question is: If you ever did stop writing, what would you replace it with?

That's an interesting question for me, considering the fact that I haven't properly written anything in a few years. I've done some editing, some brainstorming, a note here and there, but no real writing for quite some time now. That isn't to say that I've made a choice to "stop" writing, exactly. It's more like a creative pause. 

So, since I'm not actually writing, what have I replaced it with? Well...not much, really. Writing has always been my main creative outlet, and while I have had other interests, they mostly turn out to be temporary or just an idea that is never brought to fruition. I tried getting to jewelry making for a bit, but haven't committed to it as much as I'd like (especially considering the amount of beads I bought....). I made a few bracelets for myself but then didn't try anything for awhile until I made a bunch for my niece last Christmas: 

So at this point, it's just an occasional hobby. Nothing ever seems to keep my interest like writing has in the past. I like watching movies, but I don't think I'd be good as a reviewer. I've thought about starting a Youtube channel, but I'm too shy and don't have a good idea what my focus should be. I have started using TikTok, but I've only made a few videos so far. I have interests and small ideas, but nothing major to fill the void of writing. 

You could say I've been in a creative slump. I've also been in a reading slump, which is probably related. Or both slumps are influencing each other, since usually reading inspires me to write. I think I got discouraged when I read too many heavy, long novels in a row, then wanted to read a light, fluffy, romance to break things up, and the one I chose was SO BAD that I had no idea what I wanted to read anymore. 

I do have a few new books lined up that I hope will get me back into reading more. And possibly even inspire me to get back into writing. Maybe even get back to Uneven Lines? I know, now I'm talking crazy. But as I always say to myself, one thing at a time. 

Yet Another Harebrained Scheme

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

This month's optional question is: When you are working on a story, what inspires you?

I suppose I could take this question two different ways: what helps motivate me to write, or where do my ideas come from? When I think of "getting in the zone" to write, music is always the thing that helps me the most. I always create playlists for my books and listening to songs that make me think about my stories always help inspire me to write. 

As far as ideas go, they're all over the place. I've gotten ideas from dreams, from watching trashy daytime television, songs, life experiences, and probably some other things I'm forgetting. Sometimes if I just let a really basic concept or a trope sit in my head overnight I'll be able to come up with a whole story around it. 

I've been trying numerous different ways lately to spark some sort of inspiration. Can't exactly say any of them have actually worked (yet!) I seem to get plenty of ideas but I'm not very good at following through on said ideas. Basically anything I've said here before and you probably commented, "that's a great idea!" Well...I can't seem to get past the "good idea" phase and get to the "actually doing something" phase. 

That being said, I do have another harebrained scheme. The good thing about this one, however, is that I really think it's something I need to get done eventually, even if it doesn't lead to any immediate inspiration. 

I've put a lot of details into Uneven Lines over the many, many, many....many years I've been working on it. I love things like symbolism, themes, motifs, etc. What I want to do is write all of these little details down into one place, kind of like Cliff Notes for my own book. It's really just for me because I want to make sure I remember all of these details, and maybe going over them will help spark some ideas of how to finish the book and expand upon everything I've been putting into the book so far. 

And maybe someday I'll actually have an audience for this book and I can share these things and blow everyone's minds! I can dream. 

After lots and lots of searching, I bought a journal to write all of this down. I ended up choosing a simple gray one (because gray is one of UL's colors...yes it has colors...). I thought about getting something fancier and was looking at all kinds of custom journals on Etsy but I didn't really want to spend too much money on it, just in case, you know, I don't actually do it....but I also didn't want to use an ordinary notebook, so this journal has lots and lots of pages to write all of my nonsense. 

And as long as I actually do it, I may be able to fill all of those pages. 

Make a Schedule

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

This month's optional question is: Do you remember writing your first book? What were your thoughts about a career path on writing? Where are you now and how is it working out for you? If you're at the start of the journey, what are your goals?

Actually, that's four questions!

My very first book was a picture book that I wrote when I was 8 years old. I wasn't thinking too far ahead about a writing career at that point, but I knew that I loved to come up with stories and wanted to write them down. As I got older and started writing novels, I knew that this was what I wanted to do. 

I would love to be a full time writer and completely support myself through writing. Unfortunately, that's not where I am at this point in my life, and my day job does take up a lot of my energy, making it difficult to make time for writing. I've also been in a creative slump for quite some time which has also kept me far from completing any of my writing goals. 

I think my main goal right now, one that I can actually accomplish in the near future, is to create a writing schedule for myself. I want to mainly focus on Uneven Lines, of course, but I'd also like to give some time to other book ideas I've come up with, especially ones that I feel I can write a lot faster and maybe actually have a chance of publishing. 

So creating some kind of schedule for myself along with a list of the projects I want to work on is my main writing goal for this month. I'm hoping just to get to a point where I'm writing consistently again. Then maybe I'll be able to see some kind of career in the future. 

Envious of Everyone!

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

It's already a new month? What the heck?? This month's optional question is: Have you ever read a line in novel or a clever plot twist that caused you to have author envy?

I wish I could think of a particular line or plot twist that made me feel this way, and I'm sure there have been, but I think at this point with my writing, I'm envious of pretty much anyone who's actually writing. 

Even at my best, I'm a slow writer. I've always been in awe of those authors that can bust out multiple books per year. I don't think I could come up with enough ideas for that many books, let alone write them. I do have a good handful of unwritten or unfinished book ideas, but I feel like it's typically very hard for me to get new ideas for stories. They only come around once in a while. 

I've been in a creative slump for quite some time, but for the past month or so, I feel like life has just been too hectic to focus on writing. I have a lot of plans to get more organized and try to focus on different projects in the hopes that something will spark that creative energy. I've got a lot of writing books and workbooks that I hope will help figure out how to finally finish Uneven Lines. What I really need right now is the time and energy. 

I know it'll work out eventually. The chaotic happenings in my life seem to finally be mellowing out (although who knows what could happen next!). I just need to find a way to work writing (or writing related activities) into my daily schedule, then maybe I'll get used to it and want to do it all the time! We shall see. 

Feeling Something

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I don't want to get ahead of myself, or jinx anything, but I just have this feeling that I might start writing in the near future. 

I woke up this morning (my day off work, luckily) with the sudden urge to read a few of the most recent chapters of Uneven Lines. I can't even remember the exact thought or moment that triggered it. Probably just some half asleep attempt at finding inspiration. In the past when I've had a similar urge, I usually procrastinate doing other things all day, then never get around to it and the urge passes. Or I may try reading but I dislike something about it and stop myself. 

This time I decided to force it. Even though I could have gone back to sleep once my husband went to work, I got up and turned on my laptop. I read through Chapters 26 and 27, even though 27 is certainly the worst chapter and probably needs to be completely rewritten. It was exactly the sort of chapter that would normally have me cringing enough to stop reading. But I read every word of those two chapters. 

Of course, there were lines that made me cringe. But there were other lines I absolutely loved. I almost wanted to print it out and highlight them. Tell myself no matter how much I need to rework these chapters, those lines are keepers. 

I don't think actually writing will come easily or fast, at least not for UL. I have a lot to figure out. I'd like to do some more reading of what I have so far, as well as some brainstorming. I got a book that helps you figure out your story's theme, which I think will help me figure out what I'm trying to say with this book and also how to end it. I want to make a list of all the motifs and symbols I have throughout the book and analyze how and why I've used them, and how I can expand on them to really make an impact on the story. 

I have a lot to figure out before I do any actual writing or rewriting, but I think it could be fun really diving deep into all of these details, because they are what I love most about this story. Those are the lines that make me smile or make my heart race. The ones that let me know I can't give up on this book even though it seems impossible. 

This time, I think, I'm going to do all I can to keep this feeling alive. 

Mastermind

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

I'm at least attempting to start the year out with a bang--this month, I'm a co-host! The other awesome co-hosts are Jemima Pett, Debs Carey, Kim Lajevardi, Natalie Aguirre, and T. Powell Coltrin. 

This month's optional question is: Do you have a word of the year? Is there one word that sums up what you need to work on or change in the coming year? For instance, in 2021 my word of the year was Finish. I was determined to finished my first draft by the end of the year. In 2022, my word of the year is Ease. I want to get my process, systems, finances, and routines where life flows with ease and less chaos. What is your word for 2023? Why?

I had an idea of what I wanted to write about for this post before I knew what the question was, and the word that comes to mind from that idea is not something that I ever would have thought could be a 'word of the year' for me. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized it would be a really cool word of the year if I could actually commit to it. 

And that word is: MASTERMIND

Let me backtrack a little here. It all started with Taylor Swift. 

"Mastermind" is the last track on Taylor's newest album Midnights (which I love, but that's not the topic at hand). I really liked this song right away, mostly because it reminded me of Jordan. Like in a I need to add this to his personal playlist kind of way (of course I have one of those!). Because he IS a mastermind! I've always known this. Perhaps a bit more sinister than this song implies, but still, it seemed to fit. 

But this isn't just about Jordan. It's also about me. And still a bit about Taylor Swift. HEAR ME OUT. I want to write books the way Taylor Swift writes songs. Not just that she's good at it or can bust out album after album. I mean the CRAFTINESS. 

I love being methodical when it comes to writing, especially with Jordan's stories for some reason. I love symbolism and Easter eggs and tiny details that seem like nothing but you find out later are extremely important. I want to plant tiny moments in the first book that you won't realize matter until the third book. It's really fun and these things kind of come easily to me somehow. 

So, I want to be a mastermind! I want to own it. Most importantly, I want to DO IT. I haven't been writing at all for quite some time, feeling like I've lost my mojo. Maybe if I start thinking about the things that I find fun about writing, the rest of it will start falling into place and I can actually get motivated again. 

Part of my plan involves figuring out my story's theme. I've always struggled on getting to the ending, and if I can figure out what it is I'm trying to say with this story, maybe it will become clearer. That also means really figuring out what Jordan's master plan is within the story, which is also fitting for this post. All his tiny little plans are very obvious, but I've always felt there was something else lurking beneath the surface that I hadn't figured out yet, maybe even a twist to reveal. 

So maybe this year I will own being a mastermind. 

It's the Most Chaotic Time of the Year

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

This month's optional question is: It's holiday time! Are the holidays a time to catch up or fall behind on writer goals?

We're gonna go ahead and ignore the fact that I haven't been very good at keeping up with my writer goals for the entire year and say the holidays are definitely a time to fall behind on them. 

Christmastime always feels very chaotic for me. Every year as it approaches, I tell myself I'm going to keep it simple this time, and every year, I do nothing of the sort. I go absolutely nuts with presents ideas. I usually come up with several themed gift baskets for family members. Here's just a few I've made over the years: 

Movie night

Brunch

S'mores

Christmas cookie

I guess technically this year I'm taking a step back by not making a basket for every single member (or couple) in my family. My main project is for my sister and brother-in-law (it's inspired by the album Harry's House and it's completely insane and I'm completely insane for doing it), but I'm also making a smaller bloody mary themed one for my dad (the drink! I've found some cute stuff like pepperoni straws and little cocktail picks with plastic pickles and olives at the end.). I'm also just filling a basket with candy for my niece, whose birthday is three days after Christmas so I tend to get her a lot of stuff. 

I swear that's it! Unless I think of more ideas...

I go kind of psycho with all of my ideas and running to different stores and websites to get just the right things for each basket idea. My husband just kind of lets me do my thing and says, "let me know when you need some money." 

Speaking of hubby, we are the exact opposite when it comes to gift giving. I'm always trying to find some gifts that he'd never expect, while creating an Amazon wish list that tells him exactly what to get me (LOL!). 

And we can't forget the baking! Hours spent browsing Pinterest for the perfect recipes (usually cookies...at least 2 different kinds...sometimes more...), and then the actual baking in my tiny apartment that takes forever. 

So yeah, not a lot of writing related activities around this time of year. The good thing, especially this year since I've felt so creatively drained, is that I get to actually use my creativity to the fullest extent. It's not for writing, but at least it's something! I'll take cookies and gift baskets over sitting around doing nothing. 

Happy Holidays!!

Baby Steps

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

This month's optional question is: November is National Novel Writing Month. Have you ever participated? If not, why not?

I've made a few half-hearted attempts at NaNoWriMo over the years, but only really pushed through with it once in 2019, and I won! The book I was writing wasn't nearly complete, but I did get to the 50k word goal. I haven't really gone back to it since, though, even though I want to. I've struggled between wanting to just push through and get the first draft done with what I already have, or to start it over with some of the changes I know I need to make. 

My creativity level has been pretty low for quite some time now, so that's just one of the many things I haven't wanted to work on. But I think it's a cute, easy romance story and I would definitely be able to finish it one day if I can get that drive back. 

This past weekend I tried to at least think about Uneven Lines again. I just got in the mood to read it for a little bit. I didn't get too far, but that was because I started working on the Ultimate Playlist again, where I want to find as many songs for as many moments in the book, so I can basically have one long playlist that tells the whole story. I also edited a bit while I was reading because I can't help myself. So while I wasn't actually writing, I was at least doing something! 

I want to go back and finish the character arc workbook I started a while ago. I was also thinking about finding some books or workbooks on finding your story's theme. I think if I really figured out what I was trying to say with this book (and with the whole series if I choose to keep going with it), maybe I wouldn't feel so stuck figuring out the final third. 

Baby steps!

Favorite Genres (and Vacation Pics!)

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up! 

This month's optional question is: What do you consider the best characteristics of your favorite genre?

It's hard for me to pick a favorite genre, especially for reading. I really like to read whatever sounds interesting to me. For writing, two of my favorite genres are fantasy and romance. I like fantasy because it can provide an escape, and when you're writing it, it can be whatever you want it to be. The possibilities are endless. You can create entire worlds if you want to. 

I also like romance because the kind I typically write is light and fluffy and not too heavy on the drama (unlike some of my main WIPs...). Mostly I just get to have fun with it and you're always working toward a happy ending. 

What are your favorite genres?

If you follow me on Instagram, you probably saw all the pictures from my anniversary trip to NYC last month, but I thought I would share some of them here as well. We had so much fun! 

For our anniversary, we went to Tao for dinner, and had fried rice, short ribs, orange chicken, and sushi (ok, it was tempura shrimp sushi...I'm not that adventurous...). 

Hubby used chopsticks for the first time! And I really loved my shoes. :)

On Tuesday, we went to a taping of the Tonight Show. They don't let you take pictures in the studio, but I snagged a few pictures in the lounge before you head in. It was lots of fun!

Wednesday was very busy!! First we grabbed donuts and walked around one of the piers (it had swings!). 

Then we went to Koneko cat cafe! I took way too many pictures to show, but getting to pet a bunch of cats for an hour was definitely a good time.  

Wednesday night was Harry Styles! So much fun! And we got all sparkly.  

 

Ok, I have many many more pictures but I feel this post is filling up enough! We got lots more yummy food and drinks and went to a rooftop bar on our last night. Check out my Instagram if you want to see the rest! We had so much fun we didn't want to come home!! 

Up for (Almost) Anything

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

Would you believe I completely forgot to do my IWSG last month?? Actually, what really happened is that I completely lost track of the days. I was on my break at work scrolling on my phone that day when I saw the IWSG Facebook post and went, "OOPS!" I could have tried to put something together after work, but I didn't think it would be worth it at that point. 

Oh well, I am here now! 

This month's optional question is: What genre would be the worst one for you to tackle and why?

I've switched back and forth between many genres ever since I first started writing, so there isn't a lot of genres I'd be too afraid to try. But for some reason, I've always been a bit wary of historical fiction. I feel like with any story, there is already so much research that you have to do to make certain things accurate, and adding on that layer of getting everything about the time and setting correct just seems overwhelming. But if the right story idea hit me, I'd try anything! 

Not much going on as far as writing goes. Hubby and I are going to New York City next week for our anniversary. I haven't been there since my 30th birthday over five years ago, so I'm excited. We've got a lot planned so it should be a fun week. We're going to a nice dinner and then to a rooftop bar on our anniversary, but we're also going to a musical, a cat cafe, a taping of The Tonight Show, and our main event, a Harry Styles concert. And we're gonna eat a lot. But hopefully all the walking will help burn all those calories. 

Stuck in Many Ruts

*It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!*

I have been in such a rut lately. I know I've been talking about not writing for quite some time now, so much so that I actually skipped IWSG last month because I was so sick of talking about it. But it's not just the writing. 

I haven't been reading much at all. I've been stuck on the same book for literally the whole year so far, with no desire to finish it or to try reading something else. I feel like I don't know what I like to read anymore, so it's hard to decide. I have a few horror books on my wishlist recommended by a Youtuber I watch, and I don't typically read horror but I do like horror movies, so I thought trying something different would be a good idea. 

Speaking of movies, I haven't been watching too many of those, either (although I feel I should get some credit for binge watching the latest season of Stranger Things, especially since that last episode was movie length). I typically have a goal to watch 100 movies in a year, and I have so many streaming platforms with a ton of movies on my watchlists, but I've only watched 26 so far this year. I don't know what my issue is here, I think I just get sucked into watching reruns on TV on my days off instead of actually picking something to watch. 

I started using Letterboxd to track my movies, so if anyone else is on there, we can follow each other! You can find my profile here. 

I also haven't been using social media very much anymore. I very rarely post on Twitter or Instagram. Even when I've taken pictures, I just haven't had the motivation to post anything. I guess I'm experiencing social media burnout. I just don't have the desire to do it. 

The only thing I've been really focusing on lately is getting back into dieting and exercising. It's definitley something I need to do and if it's all I can motivate myself to do right now, then that's ok. I always work better with a deadline, and my husband and I are going to New York for our anniversary in September (I haven't been there in five years!), so I really want to lose some weight before then so I can look good! 

I don't really know how to get out of all these ruts. I try to just take things day by day. 

Highs, Lows, and Bracelets

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

This month's optional question is: It's the best of times; it's the worst of times. What are your writer highs (the good times)? And what are your writer lows (the crappy times)?

My writer highs usually involve, well...actually writing! I love getting new ideas and thinking about them nonstop, or flowing through a first draft and holding nothing back. And while editing and rewriting can be hard and tedious, one of my favorite things is when I actually figure something out and everything falls into place and feels perfect. 

Another writing high for me was getting a story published in the IWSG anthology Hero Lost: Mysteries of Death and Life.  

My biggest writer low was Pitch Wars, but we don't need to talk about that...I've had a few times where people read my work and I either got a negative response or no response at all. I have learned from these scenarios to not send out my work if it's not ready, and also who I should be sending it to. Just because someone seems excited to read your work doesn't mean they're actually going to do it. 

Not writing at all is also a pretty low time. It's hard to have absolutely no desire to write or even think about writing, but right now I'm just kind of going with the flow. I think the urge to write will come back eventually, but not until I'm ready for it. 

On a side note, a few months ago I mentioned that I wanted to get into jewelry making, partially just so I could do something creative, and I finally started! I'm just making bracelets so far because I have no idea what I'm doing and figured they were the easiest. I also just like bracelets.

These were the first four I made that went with the shirt I wore on Easter (lol), and considering the fact that I'd never made a bracelet in my life, I thought they were fairly decent; 

And these are the ones I made this past weekend. I've been playing around with what materials go better with certain beads and working on the technique, and I can already see the improvement. 

I'm just gonna keep doing it because it's fun and I like shiny things. I think someday it would be nice to actually turn it into income, but that's a long way away! 

Any writing highs or lows to share? What creative outlets do you have besides writing? 

Alex J. Cavanaugh's CassaDark

Today I have a very special guest, the Ninja Captain himself, Alex J. Cavanaugh! He's here to talk about his new book, CassaDark, and what brought him back to writing a book in the Cassa Universe. 

Why Return to the Cassa Universe?

Why add to a trilogy that is complete, successful, and at a good stopping point? That’s a very good question! Because I did write a fourth book. Let’s look at some of the reasons why I went this route.

My last novel was Dragon of the Stars, and I had no ideas for another Dragon book. Sure, I’d created a short story for a fan covering a span of time after Dragon ended. There could be more adventures, but in terms of stakes, what more could I throw at the main character, Aden? What he sacrificed at the end of that story was just short of death, so I couldn’t envision piling more on the poor guy.

Byron, the main character in the first three Cassa books, was getting too old. Even with Cassans living to a hundred and twenty, the next jump forward in time (since I seem to like going twenty years ahead with each book) would’ve placed him close to eighty. I did not want to write Cassa: The Geriatric Years. It would be like watching Harrison Ford play Indiana Jones today. Painful. I couldn’t continue with my main guy.

I didn’t have the urge—or any ideas for—a new story line. Series are easy because once the first book is done, the world is established, and the next books just expand on that. I’d already stretched with Dragon. Nothing new struck me as enough to start a book set in another world.

Well then, what about Byron’s son, Bassan? What happened to the young man who saved the galaxy in the third book? That’s a lot for a ten-year-old to carry. Where would he be now as an adult? And that’s when the wheels started turning…

Now, normally returning to a series is easy. The world is established. The characters are established. Just create the adventure and let everything fall into place. Right! Except I’d not written a full length novel in over five years. Cranking out words—tough to do when you’re as rusty as heck. Took me two years just to get the first draft together. Way longer than for any other book.

I think familiarity is what carried me through to the end. Even though Bassan is much older, I still knew him, still knew the world he inhabited. And I’d missed certain aspects. There is no telepathy or teleportation in Dragon. Those elements might sound convenient, but they don’t always work as advertised, so it added a level of challenge to the story.

Ultimately, I’m really pleased with the result! Bassan isn’t Byron, but he holds his own. I think readers will relate to his insecurities. He’s an average guy, with some unusual talents, just trying to find his place in the world.

Aren’t we all?

Alex J. Cavanaugh works in web design and graphics, and he plays guitar in a Christian band. A fan of all things science fiction, his interests range from books and movies to music and games. Online he is known as Ninja Captain Alex and he’s the founder of the Insecure Writer’s Support Group.

http://alexjcavanaugh.com 

https://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/

https://twitter.com/AlexJCavanaugh

CassaDark

By Alex J. Cavanaugh

His world is unraveling…

Bassan’s father is stepping down from command. His best friend almost dies when Bassan freezes. Now, he’s being sent across the galaxy to speak at an important conference. Despite saving the eleven races years ago, he’s paralyzed by fear and doubt. Could things get any worse?

Once there, new acquaintance Zendar convinces Bassan to visit his planet for a humanitarian mission. Bassan’s special connection to ancient technology is the key to saving Zendar’s people. One problem though—it’s a prisoner planet.

On Ugar, he discovers things aren’t so straightforward. As each secret reveals itself, the situation grows more desperate. If he can’t find the right answers, he might die along with Zendar’s people. Can Bassan summon the courage to be a hero again?

Science fiction - Adventure (FIC028010) / Space Opera (FIC028030) / Space Exploration (FIC028130) Print ISBN 9781939844842 $16.95 / eBook ISBN 9781939844859 $4.99

Links:

iTunes – https://books.apple.com/us/book/x/id1574189874

Amazon – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0982FL3SH

Barnes & Noble – https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/2940164947033

Kobo – https://store.kobobooks.com/en-us/Search?Query=9781939844859

Scribed – https://www.scribd.com/search?query=9781939844859&language=0

Goodreads - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58461762-cassadark

No Ideas!

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

What am I insecure about this month? The fact that I have no idea what to write about! I've been in a rut for a long time and feeling very burnt out when it comes to writing. I've had little snippets of ideas here and there, like my subplot idea last month, but I haven't been doing any actual writing. 

I wish I was writing, but I don't really see this as a bad thing. I clearly needed the break from it, and I've been exhausted for a long time due to other things. It's not really something I want to force until it feels right. It's definitely frustrating that it's been so long since I've really written anything, but if I have absolutely no desire to do it, then it's ok to take a break.

I know I'm defnitely not done with writing forever. I don't know if I need to change my routine, wait until the inspiration strikes on its own, or maybe I just need a really long vacation (I haven't had more than 3 days off work since last September). Work definitely leaves me feeling exhausted, but I know that's not the only reason I can't motivate myself to write. So, for now, I'm just going to let things be and wait for those ideas to come naturally. 

Hijack the Subplot

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

This month's optional question is: Have you ever been conflicted about writing a story or adding a scene to a story? How did you decide to write it or not?

That's an interesting question for me because while UL has a controversial subject matter, when I first started writing it, I didn't really feel conflicted about it. As I started to develop and flesh out the story more, it became more difficult to balance writing this topic while trying to maintain some level of sensitivity. That's probably why I still haven't figured it out! One of the reasons, anyway...

Speaking of UL! No, I'm not actually writing anything. But I am doing some THINKING, which is better than nothing and has really gotten me excited. 

I've been working on figuring out the third act of this book for a while now, and completely reworked it from the previous draft. Only a few scenes were kept and most of what I've written is brand new. That doesn't mean I'm satisfied with it. Is it better than before? Yes. But is it what the story really needs? Probably not. 

One of the things I've worried about is that the third act is weighed down by the subplots. They take up a lot of space, maybe even more than the main plot, which definitely isn't a good thing. I know I need to cut down a lot or the end of this book is just going to drag on forever. 

So I had a random idea that may just speed things up. Basically, I'm going to have my MC reveal something to a subplot character way earlier than he previously did. I have two subplots in this book, and this is the less important one, so speeding things up will definitely help the book overall. I think I can wrap this subplot up earlier, and also this particular idea helped make certain things about these characters more realistic to me. 

I think it might be good to have this subplot not be as complicated as it previously was. The main plot and the other subplot both end on a heavy note, and while this particular subplot always ended with an upbeat tone, it took a long time to get there and things got a bit convoluted along the way. I think this change will make the subplot end more quiet and simple, which could help support the other plots by not getting in the way, and just helping to develop the main character. 

The only downside is that I'll have to rewrite part of Chapter 18, which is my favorite chapter in the whole book. It won't change what happens in the main plot in this chapter, but I have to figure out how this change will affect the mood and tone of the scene so that I can still have it end the same way. It's not that I don't think I can do it, but I just have to take the time to figure it out. 

If I can map out this subplot and make the changes I want, I really think it could work. And if it does work, then maybe, just maybe, the rest of the book will start to fall into place. I can only hope!

Focus on the Positive

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

Once again I feel like I have nothing to write about, and I couldn't think of a response to this month's question, so I'm on my own here. I feel like I'll just end up spewing the same crap I've been talking about for months. And I haven't started writing again, so I can't talk about that. 

HOWEVER. I think I'll do something different this month and focus on some little, positive things. So I'm just going to make a list! I love lists!

- While I haven't done any writing, I have been thinking about it. Sort of. I've been trying just to read UL lately and listen to its playlist. While I'm hoping it will lead to some writing eventually, I'm trying not to force it and just let it come naturally.

- I'm back on my diet and I've been going to the gym more often. I haven't been going 5 days a week like I'd like to but that's really because it's very cold out and sometimes I just want to stay inside. But I have been trying some new healthy recipes so that has been fun. 

- Despite the diet, I will be having some cupcakes for the musiversary on the 15th, as required. And I will not dwell on the fact that it's been eleven years and I still haven't finished this book. And I will not share my cupcakes with Jordan. 

- I've been thinking about this for a while now, but I'd like to start making jewelry. I just feel like I need a creative outlet that isn't writing, and I got inspired by the idea (and bought lots of beads). Now I just have to actually learn how to do it. It would be awesome to eventually start selling jewelry, but I have to at least make sure I can do it first, so I'll start by making some things for myself. 

- For hubby's birthday in March, we're spending two nights at Foxwoods casino and going to our favorite restaurant there. We haven't gone away for more than one night in years so I'm really looking forward to it. 

- I started today with a little self-pampering. Just a bubble bath and a clay face mask but it felt great! I work too damn hard, I need to relax sometimes. 

Well, that's about it. I've been trying not to stress out lately, so I figured I'd focus on the little wins instead of the doom and gloom for once. I hope everyone's staying positive in this crazy world! 

Lost My Mojo

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

This month I'm a co-host! The other awesome co-hosts are Erika Beebe, Olga Godim, Sandra Cox, and Chemist Ken!

This month's optional question is: What's the one thing about your writing career you regret the most? Were you able to overcome it?

I know I've talked about this before, but definitely entering Pitch Wars. Not only was my book not even remotely ready for a contest like that, but the feedback I got was so negative that it sent me into a depression that I'm honestly not sure I've 100% recovered from. I've gotten back into my book several times since then, I've gained and lost the passion over and over again, but I think that was what started it. 

 

I mean, I'm so traumatized from the whole thing that I have "Pitch Wars" muted on Twitter. I don't ever want to hear a single thing about it ever again. 

My insecurities this month are slightly related. There isn't any specific reason for it, but when it comes to writing, or really being creative at all, I feel like I've lost my mojo. 

I just feel like I don't have a creative bone in my body right now. I have no desire to work on ANY writing, not just UL. That drive just isn't there. I know life has been tough lately, too, between work being extremely stressful (short staff for months and Covid is only getting worse), having to put Gizmo down in October, two deaths in my husband's family, and just the fact that anxiety and depression are issues I already struggled with, certainly not helped by everything that's been going on. 

I still feel optimistic sometimes. I like to be silly (see above gif). I try not to get weighed down with heavy things. I try to leave work stress at work. Hubby and I and have been having nice date nights by going to the movies and dinner, but I'm starting to feel nervous about going out in public again. So many people at my work are testing positive and we're all vaccinated. I also eat my feelings so I have been gaining more weight than I'd like. 

I just haven't been even thinking about writing lately. And between losing that and my cat, I feel like I've lost my social media identity. My Twitter was all about writing, Instagram all about the cat. It's so hard to figure out what to post now. I feel lost. 

I'm taking things one day at a time, though. I don't want to pressure myself too much and feel overwhelemd. My only writing goals this week were to write this post, do my co-hosting duties, and visit other blogs on my reading list or who comment on my post. In the past I would have tacked on a bunch more writing related goals for the week, but I think this is enough. Next week, I'll pick something else. 

My favorite saying has become "one thing at a time." When you're thinking of all the million things you want or need to get done that you think your brain is going to explode, just focus on what the very next step is. Then the next one, and so on. It's really helped my stress at work when I feel overwhelmed, and I think it could work for everything else in life, too. Don't focus on tomorrow if it's too much for you. Just worry about today.

Is It Over Yet?

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up! 

This month's opitional question is: In your writing, what stresses you the most? What delights you?

What stresses me the most? You mean besides EVERYTHING?? Right now, it's probably thinking about all of the work I still have to put into my book. I've been working on it forever and there's still so much I want to change. And I still don't know what to do with the last third of it, especially the ending. 

What delights me the most is when everything clicks and I'm able to figure something out. It can be anything from a major plot point to just figuring out how to rewrite a sentence. It always feels good when you know you've done something right. 

I don't know about you, but I'm ready for this year to be over. It's been a rough one for me. I've been really burnt out for a while and I actually haven't written anything in months. I haven't even been reading for a while, either. I'm hoping the new year can give me a boost of motivation to start getting back to normal and getting things done.

Are you glad the year is ending? What stresses or delights you about your writing? 

Sitting this one out

Today I would typically be posting for IWSG, but I'm not really feeling up to it right now. Last week, we had to put down my cat Gizmo. He's been my baby for 17 years and it's been really hard getting used to life without him. 

Hug your fur babies for me. <3