06 January 2021

Where's My Motivation?

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Well, it's a new year (finally! so long 2020! you won't be missed!), and with a new year usually comes a new surge of motivation. I've got a brand new fancy planner, even bigger and fancier than last year's. I do certainly feel motivated about certain things--continuing to eat healthy and lose weight (I gained two pounds over Christmas and New Year's, but that's not too bad, right?), getting back into productive habits, like cleaning every day, drinking lots of water, READING MORE (I only read 18 books last year). 

But do you know where I still have zero motivation? Writing. 

I don't know what it is. For the past couple months, I have just completely lost my desire to write. I don't even want to think about any of my stories. I realized recently that I used to always fall asleep thinking about one scene or another, but lately I haven't found anything that piques my interest. I've scanned over every story idea, every sequel, every self-indulgent never actually going to write it moment that I could possibly think of and...nope. Don't want to think about it anymore. 

I obviously don't want to be done with writing, but I also don't know how to get that motivation back. I've really always struggled with motivation, but there was always a tiny glimmer of that desire to write underneath whatever else was holding me back. Now, I don't even feel that. 

Maybe I've just been avoiding writing too much? Real life has certainly been stressful and exhausting for a while. Maybe if I just try to work on writing, eventually I'll begin to feel that spark again. 

I'm planning on trying a new tactic. For a while, I was trying to work on writing (or editing, brainstorming, etc.) for thirty minutes every day. I don't know if I responded well to that kind of pressure. If I couldn't think of anything to focus on, or if I just had too many other tasks, it was usually the one goal of my day that was incomplete. So I've decided instead to pick a few specific writing tasks that I want to get done each week. Most of them relate to UL, but I'll try to throw in a different story idea or a sequel to keep things interesting, and hopefully spark some motivation. This way, I can choose what time is best for getting a task done, and if I go a day or two without writing, I won't have to feel guilty about it.

How do you find motivation? Do you write every day?

02 December 2020

Is It Next Year Yet?

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Can you believe it's December already? I'm sure everyone is excited for the year to be over. I think we can't help but hope that next year will be better. I mean, how could it possibly get any worse (knock on wood)??

For me, I really think I need some kind of a reboot. I'm stuck in a rut. I don't even have the desire to work on writing. Every once in a while I'll try to get into it, or at least try to get organized and make a plan, but I never follow through. I think the start of a new year could really help motivate me. I asked for a new planner for Christmas (and if I don't get it, I'll just buy it myself lol), one that's even fancier than the one I used this year. And more stickers! I want to be extra organized and really make plans for working on writing and other goals I want to accomplish. 

Part of why I haven't been writing is that I've been focused on other things, which I don't really feel bad about. I started back on Weight Watchers on September 21, and I've lost 25 pounds since then. I've been going to the gym five days a week, too, and it's all really paying off. But it definitely leaves me even more exhausted than I was just working my day job (and that already leaves me feeling pretty exhausted!). But, again, I think getting more organized and planning my weeks ahead of time will help me balance everything. 

I've also already finished my Christmas shopping! I was very determined to finish before December began, and I made my last online purchase on November 30. I knew the longer I waited, the longer it was going to take to have things shipped, so I just wanted it over with. I just have to wait for a couple more shipments and then I'll just have to put everything together. I've always been into making gift baskets and I got a lot of good ideas this year so I'm excited to put them together. 

So, that's about it. I'm focusing on losing weight and getting myself organized for next year. Then when January hits, I hope I'll have a better writing schedule figured out.

Are you ready for this year to end? Have you started your holiday shopping? 

04 November 2020

Making a List

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I don't know if you knew this, but sometimes writing is hard. Editing is hard, too. Rewriting is REALLY hard. When you're trying to polish a manuscript and make it as perfect as you possibly can, thinking about all of the things you still have to do can be overwhelming. Sometimes I feel like I don't know where to start. 

Luckily for me, I love making to-do lists. I rarely have a day off where I don't make a long list of tasks that I want to get done. So, when it comes to editing/rewriting, I decided I needed a list. When I was reading through UL to try to get my head back into the idea of writing, there were certain parts I knew needed big changes, others smaller ones. An awkwardly written sentence here or there can be easy to fix, but when there are entire scenes that I want to rethink, sometimes I just avoid working on them at all. 

So to ease into the process, I made a new list. I went through every chapter, noting particular moments that needed bigger rewrites than just a sentence or two. So instead of opening my manuscript and staring into the abyss, I can pinpoint where I need to start working. I know some scenes will be easier to fix than others. Some will need some extensive thinking to figure out what the story actually needs. Instead of getting overwhelmed by how much I need to get done, I can take it one step at a time, focusing on whichever part I feel I can accomplish when I sit down to write. 


I know I still have a lot to do, and I actually haven't even finished this list yet. Some of the later chapters need a lot of work. But some of the chapters don't need any work at all! I've also decided that Chapter 21 is getting the ax! There are a few moments in it that I can probably sneak into other chapters if necessary, but I like the idea of cutting down the length, especially in the third act (it's waaaaaaaaaaaay too long).

Eventually I'm hoping that every single list I could possibly create will be completed, and the story will be done. Then I suppose it will be time for new lists...publishing related lists, perhaps? I can dream...


07 October 2020

Not Enough Hours in the Day

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Do you ever feel like there aren't enough hours in the day? I certainly do. I work full time from 6-2:30, then after work my husband and I go straight to the gym most days, since we're really focusing on losing weight and eating healthier right now. Then I like to do at least a half hour of reading, and do a little cleaning, and DISHES so many dishes why are there so many there's only two of us??? And now it's October so hubby and I try to cram in as many horror movies as we can all month (I like to watch ones I've never seen, he just wants to rewatch the classics...guess I do have time to do those dishes...). 

Anyhoo, what does this have to do with writing? Well, basically, that I'm not. At all. I'm not even trying. I'm not even thinking about trying, because I don't know what the next step is. For a while I was rereading chapters 1-26 of UL (not 27, because 27 is a trash fire...wait, have I said that before?), doing some editing as I went and leaving notes where I wanted to change things but couldn't figure it out on the spot. Which was great! It gave me something to do. Like reading, my goal is to just spend 30 minutes every day on something writing related. 

But then I finished my readthrough, and was left wondering, "now what?" Now, if I really sit down and think about it, there are plenty of things I could tackle. I recently decided that I'm most likely cutting Chapter 21, taking any really important bits and fitting them in other parts of the story. There are plenty of editing comments throughout the Word document that I will eventually have to tackle. I want to completely rewrite Chapter 27. And then I still have to write the last two or three chapters. 

I think my problem is that I just feel overwhelmed. I don't feel like I have a lot of time to write, and since nothing I need to do is easy, I'm not able to pick anything at all. When I have a specific task in mind, it's easy to devote 30 minutes to it. But when I've reached the end of a long, demanding day, and I have to actually choose something difficult to work on? I just don't want to do it. 

I think I need a new system. The 30 minutes a day is great, but I think I need to plan way in advance what I'll be working on so that I'm not deciding in the moment. Maybe I should even spend one day a week working on a different project (one of the Sexy Fluffs, perhaps??) so that I can have something new and exciting to motivate me and keep the drive to write going. 

How do you find the time/motivation to write? Any horror movie recommendations??

02 September 2020

The Editing Storage Unit

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When I first moved into my apartment, I got a storage unit. I had a lot of stuff that wouldn't fit into my tiny studio apartment, so it was helpful to have a place to store all the stuff that weren't necessities but I still wanted to keep. What you may not know about a storage unit is that the longer you have it, the more they charge you. After a while, I was getting frustrated with being charged more and more and I wanted to get rid of it. So...I had to get rid of some stuff.

Unpacking that unit was not something that happened overnight. It took time to decide what I truly wanted to keep, and what I was actually ok getting rid of. It kind of happened in phases. I would sweep through the unit, finding the things I was ok tossing, bringing home stuff I knew I wanted to keep. Then I would give it some time. I found that a few months or even weeks could help change my mind about whether or not I really needed something. This continued until I was able to empty the unit, and eventually I repeated the process with all the new clutter and boxes filling my apartment. I felt like I wanted to keep something? Ok, keep it. But a few weeks later? I might just change my mind. 

What does this have to do with writing, you might ask? Well, I kind of think of all of the changes I want to make to my book as filling up a storage unit. Every big rewrite or tiny little edit jammed into a 5x5 cube (ok, probably something bigger...at least a 10x15...). Somewhere buried deep in the back is a box labeled "write Chapter 29." And to get it all done, I just have to pick away at it. 

Some things are easy to fix right away. A word choice here, an awkwardly written sentence there (I write "AWK" in the margins just like my AP English teacher. She'd be proud). I just go through each chapter, fixing what I can in that moment, skipping what I can't. I figure if I just give it time, I'll be able to eventually figure it out. 

If I can someday clean out every single item from that storage unit, then maybe I can say the book is done. And it's a good thing it's a metaphorical storage unit and I won't miss my rental payments, because I don't think anyone on Storage Wars would be interested in bidding on my edits.