I've been engaged for almost two years. Whenever you tell someone you're engaged, the immediate response is, "SO WHEN'S THE WEDDING?" which I actually find super annoying. I have no idea when I'm getting married. So why do I have to feel so awkward telling people that? Why does it even matter? I can't exactly tell people "well, I don't have any money for a wedding but I don't really just want to run to the courthouse for a marriage license either." On the other hand, I'm kind of getting sick of not being married, too. So where's the compromise?
I think I've always known that I wouldn't want a big wedding, and not just because I can't afford it. I'm a very introverted person and I hate being the center of attention. And being a bride is pretty much the epitome of being the center of attention. I really don't have that many friends and there's a lot of drama with my family, so I feel like having a big wedding would be more hassle than it's worth.
So I've been trying to figure out forever what kind of wedding I want. It hit me when my fiance and I were talking about going back to Las Vegas. We went last year and he had been once before and we both love it there. We've been wanting to go back for a while and we've often joked about getting married there (because that's what you do, right?). But then I started to take the idea seriously. It felt like a good compromise--having an actual wedding ceremony but not having it be a huge deal. I'd say we're 90% on board with the idea but we haven't actually said "this is what we're going to do."
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If I buy this particular dress, it means the Vegas wedding is definitely happening. I do love the dress but I can't picture actually wearing it anywhere else. If I wait, the price could go back up or even worse, they may run out and I'll have to find something new. On top of that, I really really really want to lose a lot of weight before I get married. So I have to figure out what size to order. If I get a size that's too small for me right now then I absolutely HAVE to lose weight in order to fit into it. But if I get a size that does fit me now that means I can't lose any weight at all (which I would hate).
So committing to a dress is way more than committing to a dress. I have to commit to actually cracking down and losing weight. And I have to put my foot down and say this is the kind of wedding I want and I don't care what anyone else thinks. Oddly enough, I think the actual commitment of marriage is probably the easiest part for me to commit to. It's everything else that's complicated.
You get to call the shots for your own wedding! I totally agree about preferring a small, low-key affair and not wanting to be the center of attention. Even as a child, I never understood the appeal or sense of spending five or six figures on just one day. Inexpensive dresses are the way to go, in my opinion. If I ever have another relationship, I'm getting one of the Gothic-style black dresses from a nearby designer who does a lot of period-style gowns. The dress you like is a nice change of pace from all those similar, overpriced gowns on Say Yes to the Dress.
ReplyDeleteNow imagine all the complications of planning a big wedding. =) Very cute dress. I've been married for 15 years, very happily, so my thought is JUST DO IT. Seriously. Even if things don't work out exactly how you hope, it's worth it. My wedding wasn't overly flashy, but it was special. We look back and remember it as one of the best days of our lives.
ReplyDeleteBig weddings are a hassle. Ours was very tiny. I'd say a Vegas wedding would be perfect for you. And if you do get that dress, you'll just have to find out fancy occasions to wear it.
ReplyDeleteIf you think 'When's the wedding' is an annoying questions, try getting asked for over twenty years 'When are you having kids.' That gets real old...
That's exciting! Simple weddings are nice. The day is already filled with stress, no need to pile it on with a bunch of extra people. I hope your dress decision turns out well. And getting married in Vegas sounds like a great plan! My grandparents got married in Vegas, and so did my cousin. It's a fun place. :)
ReplyDeleteMy friends just had a wedding and it reinforced the fact that I was glad hubby and I didn't do a big wedding. We didn't even do a small one. We went to the court house on his lunch break. Mostly because about 2 weeks prior I said "Let's get married on April Fool's Day" and he said "Okay." Anyways, this is your big day, so you should definitely do it how YOU want. That dress is super cute too.
ReplyDeleteMy wedding...whenever I ever actually get engaged and have one...would also be small. Smaller is more intimate. Plus, I'm also a big introvert too. That dress is simply adorable! I love it! Do what you want for your wedding, when you want it, and where you want it. :)
ReplyDeleteThumbs up for a Vegas wedding! My husband and I were married in Vegas. Our families lived in different countries, and we couldn't afford to get them all together. Plus, the drama! So we were married by an Elvis and got a great vacation along with it. It was so much fun. No stress. They also broadcasted the wedding live online, so anyone who wanted to see it could. :)
ReplyDeleteGo for it! The dress is beautiful! And, I would say don't stress about the dress size. Enjoy the day. Enjoy your fiancee/husband. :)
ReplyDeleteI had a five year engagement. But I also knew when I was going to get married almost from the start. You have to remember the only people who matter in a wedding are you and your fiancé - so go back to basics, and think about just the two of you. If the answer is the same, go for it.
ReplyDeleteI would probably hold off on the dress, if you want to lose weight. Or, as Tyrean says above, don't stress about the size :-)
Oh my, talk about an important purchase. I would love to give you advice, but I think you have to do what you want to do--I guess I did give advice. Can't wait to hear your decision.
ReplyDeleteLove the dress! And yeah, go for it! I had many things go "wrong" on my wedding day, but I could care less . . . in the end I achieved what I set out to do: marry my honey! ;) So don't stress about anything, keep the eye on the prize lol Can't wait to hear what you decide!
ReplyDeleteI'm from a small family and I wouldn't have minded a small wedding, but my wife's family is huge so the ceremony couldn't be toosmall. They're also Maltese, so if you've ever seen the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," you'll know exactly what it was like for me. :)
ReplyDeleteOur family all seem to do the small wedding thing with only immediate family in attendance. My son got married on the beach this past summer. Just parents and siblings. It was fun, stress free and perfect. Good luck with your tough decisions.
ReplyDeleteSusan Says