Ten Years Later...

I know it's a holiday (even though I have to work!), but I thought if I didn't post something, I may be cursed with ten years of writer's block! 

It's February 15, which is, of course, the MUSIVERSARY! Aka the anniversary of the day I first came up with the idea for Uneven Lines...or more accurately, the day Jordan birthed himself out of my brain and chucked his story at my head like a brick. 

And this year's a big one. Yup, it's been ten years since that fateful day when after watching some trashy daytime television, I decided I wanted to write a story about a student-teacher relationship (because I'm an idiot!), and a few hours later, the aforementioned brick was hurled at me. I spent the next week in a writing frenzy, busting out the first draft of said story (a short story at the time) at a remarkable pace, and honestly, I've been chasing that high ever since. 

It hasn't been easy. Life has gotten in the way. Writer's block, lack of motivation, being told I shouldn't be writing this story at all. Having people tell me they want to read it and when I actually send it to them, they don't. 

I certainly wish I had finished this story years ago. I can't believe it's been so long, actually. I somehow feel like I've worked SO MUCH on this story, but also not enough. A ton has changed since that first draft, and for the better, but I've still got a lot to figure out. I really do love this story, even if parts of it aren't where they need to be. 

I honestly have felt out of touch with Jordan for a while. It took me a long time to realize that. That drive to write just isn't as strong as it used to be. I know it might sound crazy to actually have a relationship with your character, but it felt that way. I used to talk to him--we had inside jokes and little fights like brother and sister. He'd never miss an opportunity for a "that's what (s)he said" kind of quip. I've come to realize that I miss him. I don't want to lose what I used to have with this story because it's been too hard, or I've gotten too distracted or depressed to 

When I started writing this post, I didn't think I would end up talking about all this. I thought I was going to say how I couldn't believe it had been ten years, and that I'd be celebrating with cupcakes (I am, though...it's a musiversary requirement!). I guess I just needed to write down what I was feeling on this occasion, because it's definitely bittersweet. 

There is a glimmer of hope, I think. A couple days ago, I was struck with inspiration for my last chapter (at 3 AM of course). I'm hoping to actually celebrate with some writing today! I really just want to bust through the rest of the third draft, go back and fix the things I know need to be fixed, and then maybe get some readers so I can get some thoughts on what I can't seem to figure out. That's my newest plan, anyway. I'll just take it one step at a time.

I still love this picture XD