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Oh hey, it's February. I guess it's time to reflect on everything that I accomplished in January. Oh wait, except there isn't anything to reflect on.
I think it's safe to say I am just unable to hold onto the urge to be productive. I just feel like I'm exhausted all the time. It's hard after working all day to come home and do anything besides sit on my bed and watch TV or play games on my phone. There are just so many things that I want to accomplish on a daily basis that I just never have the time or energy.
I got a new planner for this year, and I swore I wasn't going to let it go to waste. It always seems like I try really hard in January to stick to my goals, and at some point I just stop using the planner altogether. I'm not giving up yet, but I'm also not doing as much as I'd like. Sometimes I'll want to write as many goals for a week as I can, but I never seem to get them all done, so I don't write any. I try to read every day, floss my teeth at night, and go to the gym at least 5 times a week, but even those daily tasks can seem like too much sometimes.
And don't even get me started on writing! I haven't been reading as much as I'd like, but I did notice that when I do read, it does spark some inspiration for my own writing. So if I keep trying to read every day, it could be a win-win situation. I want to make more conrete writing goals but I just don't feel like I'm there yet. I don't have the desire to work on anything, and if it's hard enough for me to make myself do even smaller goals, I know it's not going to be easy to force myself to write.
I do have one "writing" goal for the week, and that's to watch a YouTube video I found on "Getting Back to the Joy of Writing." That's definitely something I could use.
Anyhoo, as usual, I'm taking it all one step at a time.
Don't be too hard on yourself. It's hard to have the energy to write all the time when you work full-time. We don't have to want to be productive all the time. Relaxing is good too. Maybe just write for short periods a few times a week. You might enjoy it if you're not pressuring yourself too much.
ReplyDeleteIf reading is giving you a spark, keep reading.
ReplyDeleteIf you saw what was listed in my daily journal to do every day, you'd run screaming for the hills. We only have so many hours a day and can only do so much.
I hope you find that drive and energy again. I don't know what I would so without my planner and the hundred sticky notes I have on my desk.
ReplyDeleteJust keep working on the smaller goals. Don't overdo it.
ReplyDeleteYes, if reading is giving you even the smallest spark of inspiration, it's so worth continuing. I'm curious about that YouTube video. I may have to check it out, too.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog
ReplyDeletePlease read my post
ReplyDeleteWhen I started writing I went from two preschoolers to a full time job with writing (long hand!) in a notebook after everyone was in bed. You take the path of least resistance and convince yourself that, "Hey! That's 500 words I didn't have written yesterday!"
ReplyDeleteSparks are good! I hope they create a fire.
ReplyDeleteI suck at sticking to things and planners always go to waste for me. And I, too, feel like just sitting once I get home. I have to use my pre-work time or my lunch hour if I do any writing, so it's a lot of sharing with whatever else I want to do.
I hope you continue to gain sparks from your reading and videos.
I think you are being way too hard on yourself. AND it sounds like you are in burnout and you can't rush getting over that. Try stepping completely back and letting yourself rest without guilt tripping yourself.
ReplyDeleteAlex (our leader Alex) once told me to write down what I was doing every fifteen minutes of a day or so and see where my time wasters were. I got a little notebook I could fit in my pocket (could've used my phone, but I'm old and like paper) and I found that I WAS accomplishing things. I just wasn't giving myself credit, nor did what I was accomplishing move me toward any of my goals. But they were things like taking a minute to talk to a friend or help someone find a shoe (I had kids at home).
ReplyDeleteI also realized I needed to delete solitaire from my phone.