Same Old, Same Old

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

So here we are again at IWSG day aaaaaaaaaaaaand....I feel like I am in the exact same spot I was in last month. I haven't written a blog post in a month. I'm still working on Chapter 15. I have no idea why it's taking so long (I'll get into that later). According to Goodreads, I am 12 books behind my goal of 100 for the year. Last month I only read half of the books I planned on (my books made into movies category), so I plan on continuing with those books while also reading poetry books for this month. Also because I think if I'm not reading a novel I may go insane. 

Anyhoo, back to the Chapter 15 woes. This is once again a chapter I thought would only take me a day or two to edit, and now it's been over a month since I started working on it. However, in this case, it's more like I just can't motivate myself to work on it, rather than it being more difficult than I expected. It's not that difficult. I mean, editing anything has its challenges, but this isn't a chapter that needed a lot of huge changes.

There are only two scenes in this chapter. There's a lot of dialogue, and brief make out scene (don't judge me). There's some backstory for both characters, and a secret is revealed that I've been keeping for the whole book. Sometimes I worry about that secret, that by the time it's finally revealed, the reader won't actually care (since it's about a subplot, so it wasn't something that was constantly brought up).

Is any of this the reason why I can't finish this chapter? Uhhhhh....not really. Except maybe I think I've used up every way I can possibly describe a kiss.

I honestly don't know why I can't finish it. I think I'm just tired when I come home from work and I don't really want to do anything. That's a big part of it, at least. I think I need a new routine that works in writing and reading time (and hopefully some gym time, too).

So hopefully by my next IWSG post (and hopefully it's not my next blog post), I'll have at least finished this chapter. More would be nice. But I'll settle for one.

Securely Insecure (or Insecurely Secure?)

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It happened again! I went a whole month without a blog post! Bad! I haven't even been reading other people's blogs. Double bad! I don't even really have a good excuse besides laziness (or maybe just being tired).

At the very least, I thought I'd write a post just to brag about how I managed to see all nine Best Picture nominees before the Oscars this past Sunday. Well, I guess I'm bragging about it now! It helps that I live above a movie theater and my husband's friend is in SAG and lent us some screeners (shhhhh just don't tell anyone). I really liked all nine, which is unexpected. But they were all good and deserved the nomination in my opinion. Just don't ask me to rank them! You can probably guess my heavily biased I've read the book like three or four times favorite...if you pay attention to my usual nonsense 'round here.

Anyway, I'm rambling again. On to the insecurity!

Actually, you know what? I'm not really feeling that insecure lately (besides the not blogging thing). Well, I'm not fully secure either. At last month's post time, I was still stuck on Chapter 13 of my third draft. It was definitely grueling, but I got through it! In the last draft, this chapter was 3 1/2 pages. Now it's 8 1/3! I think it came out so much better than before.

And guess what happened after that? I FINISHED CHAPTER 14, TOO!

Ok, so this isn't happening at the speed of light, but it's much faster than my usual pace. So now I'm on Chapter 15, which I haven't looked at in a couple days but once I actually sit down and do it, shouldn't take too long (yeah, yeah, we've heard that before, Sarah). I'm actually surprised at how much I've had to change as I'm writing this draft. It's a lot of new stuff.

What I am a bit insecure about is that the closer I get to the last third of the book, the more work will be needed. I basically have to completely rewrite that last third, minus a couple scenes (maybe just one, actually). I thought editing the first two thirds would be easy, and I was so, so wrong. I already know that last third will be difficult, so it'll probably turn out to be impossible. Or maybe it'll be the opposite and be surprisingly easy. I can dream, right?

Does editing ever turn out to be harder (or easier) than you expected? Did you see any of the Best Picture nominees?

Fizzling Out

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Somehow it's February already. And despite all the motivation I had at the beginning the year, I don't really feel like I've accomplished much. It seems all that motivation fizzled out rather quickly, and I'm trying to find ways to get back on track.

So how did January go? Well, so so, I guess. I started off strong with social media, taking part in challenges on both Twitter and Instagram. About halfway through the month, I pretty much gave up on the Instagram ones. I knew I would skip days here and there if I didn't have things to post for those particular days, but at a certain point I just stopped doing it. I think it was equal parts not having good ideas for the posts and just not having the motivation to do it.

I did, however, stick with #WIPjoy on Twitter right until the end, so that was great! I've always wanted to do it and it was a lot of fun. I probably won't do it again with the same WIP, but definitely with a different one.

Reading has also been so so. I'm a little behind on keeping up with my yearly goal of 100 books. I only read 4 books in January, and only two of those books were from my "Clear the Bookshelf" theme. So, the bookshelf is still pretty full. I did finish another book today and am close to finishing my 6th, but I haven't started my February romance books yet. However! I'm at 5 books which is waaaaaaaaay ahead of any previous year's reading. I probably haven't finished 1 book in the past few Januarys, so I'll count that as a win (sort of).

Writing? Hahahahaaha. Yeah, bit of an epic fail there. I haven't gotten anything done. I still haven't finished my Chapter 13 edit. It's just turned out to be so much more complicated than I thought it would be. Which will be great once it's done. It'll be a really interesting and complex chapter, where I thought it was super simple to begin with. But...I have to actually finish it first.

The good news? I have the next four days off from work (I have waaaaay too many PTO hours and we can max out so I have to use them!) so that means lots of time for writing and reading!! Let's just hope I actually do it.

2018 Goals & Chrys Fey's Flaming Crimes Blogfest

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Ok, so I don't really like making resolutions, but I just can't help myself. I suppose I would like making them if I actually accomplished them. But they tend to fizzle out. But like every year, I've made a list again of what I'd like to get done this year!

1. Write, dammit! So the real goal is to finally finish the third draft of Uneven Lines. But first, I just have to actually write. And keep writing. This book ain't gonna write itself, otherwise it'd be long done by now.

2. Read, dammit! I once again have made it a goal to read 100 books this year. I really just want to do it once and then I will never try it again, I swear. Hopefully my monthly themes will help me get this done.

3. Be more active on social media. I feel like I haven't been doing a lot lately, and that includes blogging. I want to blog once a week and post more often on Twitter and Instagram. I'm already doing some challenges this month to help me out with this.

4. Watch 100 movies I've never seen before. I can't believe I didn't get this done in 2017! But I did get closer than ever before with 87 movies. I was purging my Netflix list at the end of the year because a lot of the movies were leaving but I still didn't make it to 100. I know I can actually do this one if I just try!

And now for something completely different...

What is something ridiculous you would save if there was a fire?

Well, my cat is ridiculous, but it certainly wouldn't be ridiculous to save him! XD

Ok, so I approached this question this way: after my husband and cat are ok, and I have my wedding rings, important papers, & my flash drive (all my writings!)...what would I grab next? What's not quite so important but I still wouldn't want to leave behind?

My Playbill binder!

This has the playbill for every musical and play I've ever been to. From My Fair Lady (first live musical ever!)...

...to Hamilton!

And I probably won't be adding to it for a while because I do not have theater money right now. Is this something I couldn't live without? No. But it's not something I'd really want to lose, either! I love musicals too much!

Series: Disaster Crimes #4
Page Count: 304 
Digital Price: 4.99 
Print Price: 16.99

Rating: Spicy (PG13) 

BUY LINKS:

Amazon / Barnes & Noble

The Wild Rose Press

BLURB: Beth and Donovan are now happily married, and what Beth wants more than anything is a baby. Her dream of starting a family is put on hold as fires burn dangerously close and Donovan becomes a victim of sabotage.

Donovan escapes what could've been a deadly wreck. Their past enemies have been eliminated, so who is cutting brake lines and leaving bloody messages? He vows to find out, for the sake of the woman he loves and the life they're trying to build.

Amidst a criminal mind game, a fire ignites next to their home. They battle the flames and fight to keep their house safe from the blaze pressing in on all sides, but neither of them expects to confront a psychotic adversary in the middle of the inferno.

Their lives may just go up in flames…

About the Author: Chrys Fey is the author of the Disaster Crimes Series, a unique concept blending romance, crimes, and disasters. She’s partnered with the Insecure Writer’s Support Group and runs their Goodreads book club. She’s also an editor for Dancing Lemur Press.

Author Links:

Website / Blog / Goodreads

Facebook / Twitter / Amazon

The Year of Not a Whole Lot

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I almost forgot to write this post! That's what I get for procrastinating. Luckily the IWSG provides an optional monthly question we can answer, which is always great when I'm in a rush and can't think of an idea. This month's question is:

As you look back on 2017, with all its successes/failures, if you could backtrack, what would you do differently?

Speaking of procrastination...

I did not get a lot done this year. Definitely not as much as I'd hoped. I really wanted to finish the third draft of Uneven Lines, actually much earlier in the year. But it looks like it's not going to happen again. There's just still so much work to do and not enough time to do it. 

I made some good progress in the beginning of the year. Not fantastic, but at least I had a steady pace going. I haven't had a good momentum since the end of July. I've only finished two chapter edits since then. There's just always something getting in the way - work, vacations, errands, a sick cat. And usually after all that I'm too tired to do much writing. 

I also just tend to avoid editing if I know it's going to be hard. I put it off. I know I just need to tackle it but it's hard to motivate myself. 

On the other hand, this novel has always been a bit of a slow process, but with some good results. It's extremely complicated and I've needed the time to figure things out. I also don't think I'd have the same story if I had gotten it done years ago when I first thought of it. I do think all the changes will make it a better story.

But still, I just want the damn thing done! I feel depressed sometimes that I'm not working on it, but then it's hard to work on it because I'm depressed and...it's a vicious cycle. 

I think if I can finish the current chapter I'm on I can bust through at least 3 or 4 more before getting to some really difficult editing. But usually even when I think a chapter will be easy, it turns out to need more work than I imagined. 

I think for next year I'd just like to do more. I'd like to spend less time doing nothing. If I can say I worked on writing every day, even if it's just for a few minutes, I'd take that as an accomplishment.

Why Didn't I Realize This Sooner?

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I'm somehow equally secure and insecure about the same thing lately. Well, I figured something out, which is great. Fantastic. Wonderful. It's just...it's something I could have, should have realized a long time ago. So while I'm glad I'm starting to figure things out about my book, I'm still left shaking my first and screaming "WHY DIDN'T I REALIZE THIS SOONER???"

Ahem. So last week I (vaguely) talked about having a bit of an epiphany about the last third of my book, which I've been trying forever to figure out and rewrite. Basically I realized Jordan (the MC of my WIP for those of you who are new here) wasn't acting like himself and that it was making the story weaker. If he stayed truer to his character, it would make more sense going forward and I could eventually bring the book to its conclusion without losing tension (I hope).

Well, I'm still figuring out more things that I should have already figured out. I've talked before about a "twist" that happens at the end of Chapter 17. Well, it'll probably be Chapter 18 now because my editing has added a chapter, but that's not the point. I've always been a bit psychotic about how much I love this twist. I wouldn't say it's a complete plot twist, it's more that one character does something you wouldn't expect, the other character is basically smacked in the face by it, and things get all messed up for a chapter or two before getting resolved.

I love, love, love this moment when it happens. It's intense. It's kind of heartbreaking. But what I did afterward always worried me. I kind of smoothed things over really quickly. In the next chapter, actually. Basically the character who did the bad thing explains why he did it and my characters more or less make up and everything's back to normal. I've always worried that I kind of made that awesome twist irrelevant by sweeping it under the rug.

OR DID I??? (DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN.)

Well, this is what I'm realizing. In relation to my last post, this is basically the moment in the story where Jordan realizes he's letting his emotions get the better of him. He basically makes a big emotion-based decision, tries to act on it, and gets blindsided by the results. I wouldn't say he gets heartbroken, but close. SO. This is the point where he decides he's never going to let his emotions dictate his actions again, because the one time he does it backfires on him.

So this thought process will continue throughout the rest of the book! So while he does make up with the other character and things seemingly go back to normal, underneath, he has completely changed because of the twist moment.

You're probably thinking, that's great, Sarah, why would you be insecure when you're finally figuring the end of your book out? Because I could have figured it out sooner! All the puzzle pieces were there, staring me in the face, and I just couldn't put them together. Oh well. What can you do? Just keep writing, I suppose.

Have you ever realized something about a WIP that you should have realized sooner? 

Showing off the Insecurity

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It's a busy day so I'll spare you all my personal nonsense (mainly that my poor Gizmo is sick AGAIN and I really can't afford to go to the vet right now...wait, this isn't sparing you, is it?) and dive right in...

First up, this month's optional question is: Have you ever slipped any of your personal information into your characters, either by accident or on purpose? 

Kinda sorta. I think I sometimes create characters who are versions of myself, or who share some personality traits. Jordan's best friend, Eric, is a lot like me. He's shy and awkward, and what ends up happening to him in the book kind of reflects some things that I went through with friends in high school. But it's very, very different, too, so it's not too obvious. 

I did, however, recently come to realize something about a major character that I also recently discovered about myself (what that is may be a little TMI for this post...perhaps another day!). It kind of makes a complicated character even more complicated, but I think it actually makes sense for the way I've written him. It kind of explains any unanswered questions. But I just kinda like how it was something I discovered about myself and the character! Like I had created this trait in him that I didn't even know was in me. 

And now for something completely different...

Today is also the day for the Show Us Your Writer Insecurity contest! Don't ask me why I decided to take part, I'm the least photogenic person on the planet (why does my forehead always look 10 times bigger than it does in real life???), but here goes nothin'...

Here's what you need to know about this photo:

1. I'm rockin' the IWSG swag with my sweet new notebook and mug (I love mugs!)

2. I'm also rockin' my math leggings (aka editing pants)

3. The red binder holds the third draft of Uneven Lines (so far...still only up to Chapter 12)

4. Yup, that pen on the binder is the OG FFP (I'm not lame, I swear...)

5. Coffee is life (especially when trying to edit) 

Ok, I'm done. Big shout out to my hubby for taking this photo (and the dozens of shots taken before this one that I didn't like).

A Surprise Genre

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I feel like I'm having deja vu from last month's post because once again, I am so busy I barely have time to write this post! Because I'm going on another vacation in a few days. Hubby and I are going back to Las Vegas for our first wedding anniversary (today is actually our dating anniversary--ten years!). I haven't started packing. I've been preoccupied because Gizmo was sick last week with another stress related UTI (I tried to change his food to a gentle formula...big mistake!!!). He's doing much better now, but I've had to clean EVERYTHING and do so much laundry.

*deep breath*

So, needless to say, I've been doing zero writing. And of course I'll bring some work on the plane but I'll probably just end up watching TV.

I think this month I'll defer to the optional question (I don't usually like to do them because EVERYONE does *shrug* but I also liked this month's question a lot): Have you ever surprised yourself with your writing? For example, by trying a new genre you didn't think you'd be comfortable in?

OH GOOD LORD YES.

*cough*

Let me put it this way: did I anticipate finding a very strong POV voice in a slightly sociopathic gay teenage boy? GOOD LORD NO. Literally none of those things. The only part of that I was familiar with was the teenager aspect. All my other narrators had been teenage girls. Jordan was a HUGE leap from anything I'd ever written. And it was scary as hell. But sometimes you have to go with your gut.

My story and I have been through hell and back but I love it to death. And Jordan has sunk his claws so deep into my brain that all my new story ideas have gay main characters, too, and I'm just fine with that. It was weird and unexpected at first, but now it kinda makes sense to me. I found a genre that fits. Now if I could just finish writing those ideas................

I'm hoping to get back into some kind of writing/blogging routine when I'm back from my vacation. I need to finish this damn book, after all.

So Busy I Can't Think of a Title

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I almost forgot to write this post! In my defense, I'm busy busy busy. On top of work, I'm getting ready for my birthday trip to NYC next week where I will be eating lots and lots of food and FINALLY seeing Hamilton. Whoop whoop. If you follow me on Instagram, I'll probably be posting a lot. Mostly food. Watch out. 

Anyhoo, I don't really know what to write about. Well, I haven't been writing much in the past week or so. Because, you know, busy. My Camp NaNoWriMo goal kind of went down in flames. I only edited for just over 10 hours, waaaaaaaaaay short of my 60 hour goal. I did get through the dreaded Chapter 11 AND Chapter 12, so that's good. There has been a lot more rewriting in this draft than I thought there would be. I've been adding a ton more words to this draft. I'm sure at some point I'll actually get to the last third of the novel where I have to completely rewrite it. Not looking forward to that as much.

A new development on the editing front is that my husband has been reading my chapters and we've been talking about each one afterwards. I don't want any beta readers until this draft is done, and, well, I don't want anyone reading the last draft because it sucks. But he read the first draft way back when so he's at least familiar with the story and honestly, just talking about it out loud even with someone who isn't a writer helps me to figure things out.

Of course, since he's my hubby he has to say how he thinks it's good, despite the fact that he would never ever read this book if I wasn't the person who wrote it. And I kept asking him if he thought the voice was annoying so many times that he told me to stop. It is kind of a confidence boost because as I go through things, I can see the parts I got right. The symbolism is crazy at some points and I think I had a big stupid grin on my face when I was explaining it. I also kinda just love when he's reading and then laughs at a line and I have to ask which one was it (I can usually guess).

Well, that's about it. I'm off work tomorrow but then have to work four days until I leave for my trip on Tuesday. I still haven't picked out my bus ride books!

Failing at Camp

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How the heck did it get to be July so fast? As usual, I'm way behind on my goals. I wanted to be done with my third draft of UL by now and I'm still stuck on Chapter 11. I've been wanting to give myself a bit of a kick in the butt when it comes to editing, so I did something drastic. 

On Friday night, pretty much at the last minute, I decided to sign up for Camp NaNoWriMo. I chose a revision project and set my goal for 60 hours of editing. I figured that was roughly 2 hours a day, which was way more than I've been doing but not so ridiculous that I didn't think I could do it. Now with four whole days under my belt, how have I been doing?

Well, uh, not so good actually. As usual, whenever I set a goal, I never seem to come close. The very first day I did absolutely nothing. I don't even know why. I didn't have work that day. I don't really have a good excuse. The next day, I did make a solid effort, but didn't even get over two hours, let alone to four to catch up. I set the stop watch on my phone while I edited and ended up with an hour and thirteen minutes.

Then I had to change things up. When you have your goal set as hours, the Camp NaNo site only accepts whole hours as counting toward the goal. So when I tried to put in that hour and thirteen, I was only credited for the hour (even when I tried 1.25 it just put in one...yes I know that was giving myself two extra minutes...shhh....). I wanted those extra minutes to count, so I changed my goal from hours to minutes. 

So now it's 3600 minutes. How far have I gotten? As of writing this post (about 5PM on the 4th): 73. Yup, just that hour and thirteen from Sunday. I suck at this. 

The good news is that the day is not over, so maybe by the time you read this, I'll have added some minutes. The even better news is that it's still really early in the month, so maybe somehow and with some kind of miracle occurring, I'll actually get to my goal. 

I have no idea where 60 hours of editing will bring me in the story, but at least it will be further than when I started. 

Do you think I can still achieve my editing goal? Anyone else doing Camp NaNoWriMo? 

Seduced by Another Book

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I've been feeling kinda down lately. Things have been kind of at a standstill when it comes to the editing front. I was doing so well during my staycation but I just couldn't seem to keep that motivation going. I'm stuck on Chapter 11. It's a really tough one. I think I either need to break it into two chapters or combine two scenes. Mostly because I don't think one chapter needs TWO make out scenes (but what do I know?). But I'm also trying to sneak in some subplot stuff and I always have a hard time with that. I feel like I'm forcing it and no one's going to care. Basically I know this chapter is difficult and I've been avoiding it. 

I know motivation isn't my only problem. If I could just get my brain to focus on Chapter 11 during my free thinking moments, I could start to figure it out. Times like before I fall asleep, in the shower, at work. I do my best brainstorming there. But I just can't focus. I'm distracted. By another book.

Yeah, you guessed it. Book 3. It has seduced me into some sort of mind-numbing oblivion. Now, I'm pretty much the last person on earth who would have a real life affair, but I think this is what it feels like. It's new and exciting and kinda dangerous. I think about it all the time. I know I shouldn't be thinking about it, shouldn't be working on it, but I can't help it. It's just where my passion is dragging me. But then I feel guilty about it because I'm not working on the book I should be working on.

Plus--hello! I can't actually get through Book 3 without finishing Books 1 & 2! But I can't be reasoned with! I know the basic structure of 1 and 2 so I know what happens and what leads to 3, which has me telling myself it's ok to work on it. 

I just like Book 3. There's something about it. I don't even think it's anywhere near perfect but I guess that's part of its appeal. I want to figure it all out way before I actually write the whole thing out. There's just more emotion in that book, or as I like to say, it gives me all the feels. I already have an entire playlist for it. I listen to it more than the playlist for Book 1. Book 3 just kinda drives me crazy, but in a good way, whereas Book 1 just frustrates me. 

Maybe sometimes it's good to have a distraction, when you're not getting any writing done, when the passion just isn't there. But I can't seem to shift my focus back to where it should be. I can't get back with the book I'm supposed to be with. 

Have you ever been seduced by another book idea? What did you do? 

Rewriting, Research, and a Release!

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

What am I insecure about? So, so, so much. How can I fit it all in one post?? I probably can't. Plus I do kinda want to answer this month's question. Well, I guess I'll just dive in. 

The editing front! Still not done with Chapter 7. I think I'll spend the rest of my life on it, actually. And there is SOOOOOO much dialogue but I think it works for this particular scene. My characters are basically creating a kind of verbal contract, so...they kinda have to talk to each other. I'm actually adding so much more than was in the previous drafts, which is a good thing, because I know this scene was always rushed before. I just wish I could reach the end of it. 

Now for this month's question, which is: What's the weirdest/coolest thing you ever had to research for a story?

I like this question a lot, but I've had a hard time coming up with just one thing that was really weird or really cool. So...I made a list, of course! I didn't think writing a piece of fiction would require SO. MUCH. RESEARCH. But it does! All the little things you need to check out seem to add up over time!

So here are some of the things I've had to research while writing UL. 

- Setting related stuff: streets, landmarks, subway stations, apartment price ranges, THOSE DAMN WINDOWS.

- MATH! (I hate math). I’ve watched YouTube videos on geometric proofs. That scene turned out awesome so it was totally worth it. I also have a geometry textbook.

- Some unsavory things I won't mention here. (Well, you see, I don't have...never mind.)

- FOOD. So much food! Different recipes. How to make fresh pasta. One time I made chocolate chip cookies and then took notes while I ate them. Some of those descriptions are in the book.

- Probably one of the weirdest things I know from writing this book is about age of consent. It goes by state and is from 16-18 (17 in NY where my story takes place). I don't need to know this for real life. It's creepy that I know it. But what can you do? I did need to know it for the story.

And of course, I can't forget the Chapter 3 Valentine's Day cupcakes. Extremely important research, here, people. Very scientific stuff. 

 

And now for something completely different...

In case you missed it (you probably didn't), yesterday the IWSG Anthology, Hero Lost: Mysteries of Death and Life was released! Woo hoo! I'm honored to be a part of this great group of authors. Plus, now after my years of insecure ramblings, you actually get to read something I wrote! Something I actually finished! Something the muse says he "let me" write (because it wasn't about him!). 

Hero Lost

Mysteries of Death and Life

An Insecure Writer’s Support Group Anthology

Can a lost hero find redemption?

What if Death himself wanted to die? Can deliverance be found on a bloody battlefield? Could the gift of silvering become a prison for those who possessed it? Will an ancient warrior be forever the caretaker of a house of mystery?

Delving into the depths of the tortured hero, twelve authors explore the realms of fantasy in this enthralling and thought-provoking collection. Featuring the talents of Jen Chandler, L. Nahay, Renee Cheung, Roland Yeomans, Elizabeth Seckman, Olga Godim, Yvonne Ventresca, Ellen Jacobson, Sean McLachlan, Erika Beebe, Tyrean Martinson, and Sarah Foster.

Hand-picked by a panel of agents and authors, these twelve tales will take you into the heart of heroes who have fallen from grace. Join the journey and discover a hero’s redemption!

Print: Amazon | Barnes and Noble | Books A Million

EBook: Nook | iTunes | Kobo | Amazon | Amazon UK | Amazon CA

Hero Lost Website

So Long, Symbolism!

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So, it's April. How is it April already??? I know a lot of you are participating in the A to Z Challenge, but I've decided to skip this year. I have a GIANT list of reasons for that (some I'd rather not get into) but the main thing is that I really need to focus on editing my novel and I know doing the Challenge will take away an entire month from that. It is rather relaxing, though, not having to worry about getting posts done and visiting others. Now I just actually have to make good use of the free time.

Recently I was doing some setting research that led me to a heartbreaking realization (ok, I'm exaggerating a little). It really just started out in Chapter 7 with the narrator mentioning a ten minute subway ride to get to another character's apartment. I just wanted to make sure it actually would be ten minutes--turns out, yes, I had that right all along--depending on which station my MC lives closest to, I'm flexible with that. But at least it was believable enough to work.

But for some reason I went into research mode and turned into some kind of psychopath. I've always had a vague idea of what neighborhoods my characters lived in, but I wanted to make sure it was realistic for them to live there. So this leads me to browsing actual apartments and wondering if a character could afford an apartment on the Upper East Side and...well, probably, but said apartment would be a lot smaller than how I pictured it in my brain. But that's not a big deal. Easy fix.

The devastation came because I've always kind of wondered if a certain detail about said character's apartment would actually be realistic. I don't even know why I haven't done the proper research before, but I decided I needed to settle the matter.

So all this nonsense is about windows. I've always had this character's bedroom not have any windows. This was for some pretty heavy symbolism. It was just one of those things that worked and made sense but I wasn't bashing the reader over the head with it too much. I'm pretty sure I only mentioned it twice. But if they're able to read between the lines, it was saying a lot.

The problem? It's actually illegal for a bedroom in an apartment to not have any windows. In New York, at least, and I assume most other places. I know what some of you might say--so what, do it anyway! I'm just not sure it's an important enough plot point to do something that would never happen in the real world. Was it a cool bit of symbolism? Yes! But am I willing to have the reader question if the story is realistic over it? Uhhh...not really.

So, farewell symbolism! You were cool while you lasted. I guess I'll just have to put up curtains.

Secure but Overwhelmed

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

This came up on me way too fast. February always seems to end so abruptly that I forget it's even happening. I almost forgot to pay a credit card bill, mail my rent, and yes, write this blog post. Usually you get a few extra days each month but February likes to trick me.

So what the heck do I write about? I'm actually not feeling all that insecure. Overwhelmed at times, maybe, but not insecure. Well, there's always the optional question! This month's is: Have you ever pulled out a really old story and reworked it? Did it work out?

No.

CRAP.

Ok, I guess I'll talk about the overwhelming stuff.

I have about a gazillion things to do for the anthology. I have to do my final edits. I haven't written anything for the joint blog yet, and I have interview questions for pretty much everyone to write. Plus we're trying to set up a blog tour and do more marketing stuff.

SPEAKING OF WHICH. We have a sign up form for the blog tour! I literally finished it while writing this post!!! Because I wanted to include it! Look at the exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, click HERE to sign up! The tour is going to run from May 2 through May 31. There are a few different options for posts. If you sign up for a review, we'll hook you up with the publisher to get a review ebook copy.

It can be really hard to balance real life and all of the stuff I need and want to do. I'm halfway through my edit of Chapter 5 for Uneven Lines. The end of the chapter needs a bit of work (which is a little frustrating since the first half was pretty much perfect). So I've kind of been avoiding it since I want a large chunk of time to sit down and figure it out. Usually I have too much to do or I'm just too tired after work.

So I've been working on Shiny New Story quite a bit. I guess I'll take any progress with writing as a win. I really really like it, even though it's super complicated (yeah, because UL is simple *pfft*). I love my characters and I want to hug them. But I swear to God, I cannot write a story without a secret romance to save my life. Can't do it! I've never had nor wanted a secret romance why do I keep doing this???

Well, that's about it. I set my alarm for 5 AM every morning but I always wake up at 4:37. EVERY DAY. I don't know what that is either.

Ever feel overwhelmed? What time do you wake up in the morning? 

The Anthology Where It Happens

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This post is kinda sorta a sequel to another IWSG post called "Wait For It." Ok, so the references will make a lot more sense if you've listened to/seen (you lucky duck! *side eye to my August tickets which may or may not be chained in a briefcase to my wrist*) the musical Hamilton. Because when it comes to my writing, how I go about it, how I deal with motivation, I am, in fact, Aaron Burr. 

Ok, so you may be scratching your head even if you know the musical inside and out. Basically, I would call myself a hesitator. I do not actively seek out inspiration, I don't even push myself very hard to get any writing done--even though I want to, and I do want great things to happen with my writing. And I do get terribly frustrated seeing other writers succeed and thinking, why can't I have that? All the while knowing deep down the answer is that I'm barely even trying. 

Still with me? Horribly depressed now? Don't worry, we'll fix that. This story has a happy ending (and does not end with a duel). 

So, you all know about the IWSG anthology. We'll talk about this year's in a bit. I actually have to go back to last year's anthology to tell this tale. When they first presented it, I thought maybe I would enter. I bounced around a few story ideas but didn't feel that strongly about them, so I didn't write anything and didn't enter. Obviously, you can't win if you don't enter. Of course, I was happy for the authors who won and were published, but I couldn't help thinking, what if? 

I put the thoughts aside for about a year, that is, until they announced the theme and deadline for the second anthology contest. I didn't have a concrete idea in mind right away, but I thought, I have to enter. Why would I want to be on the outside looking in over and over again? I can't get anywhere if I don't even try. So it was a bit of an epiphany. 

(I wanna be in the room where it happens, the room where it happens...err, I mean, anthology. You get it). 

The thing was, once I actually started plotting out my story, I just had this feeling. If I could get it done, and edit the crap out of it, I really did think I stood a chance to get in. And for once I was not horribly wrong. I did get in! It was good! I was no longer on the outside looking in! There may have been some dancing.

And you know why? Because I actually tried. Because not only did I put my mind to it (because ideas come easily to me), but I actually motivated myself until I pulled it off. I didn't just sit around and wait for an opportunity to come to me. I had to actually get it for myself. So, there you have it. 

Click-boom. 

On a related note, all of the authors for the Hero Lost anthology have created a website you can find here! There's lots of info on all of the authors and our stories. We should be adding some regular blog posts pretty soon, too!

The Year in Which I Do Stuff

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So it's that time of year where everyone is making goals and resolutions. I'm usually on the fence about creating them, because I tend not to follow through on actual goals. But this year, I would really like to make some accomplishments. So here are the goals:

1. Finish the third draft of Uneven Lines. 
I'm pretty sure I've had some version of this goal for the last six years (for the 1st and 2nd drafts), and probably this exact goal last year (and the year before...). I think I want to finish it by the summer (maybe June-July), although I wouldn't be opposed to anytime sooner than that, and get some actual beta readers for it. Then once it's done figure out what to do with it.

2. Get back into blogging.
In 2015 I went a little psycho and blogged every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Last year I didn't blog much at all. I'd like to blog every Monday at least. I really have no idea what's been going on with other bloggers lately, too, so I'd like to make sure I visit everyone more often and branch out more to new blogs. I'm on the fence about doing the A to Z Challenge this year. I actually do have an idea that won't be a ridiculous amount of work and could be fun, but I'm just not sure if I'll have the time.

3. Do NaNoWriMo.
I know, this is waaaaaay in advance, but I figure I need to start thinking about it now. I've halfheartedly made this a goal a few times before, but I've never accomplished it. I've never even come close. So this year, I'd like to do it. AND: I want to write the sequel to Uneven Lines for it. That's why I want to start planning it now. I want to make sure I have every detail mapped out before I start writing. There's also a bit of research involved so I'd like to get that done before writing rather than sorting it out after.

4. Read 100 books. 
I've made this goal before, and I know it's incredibly unrealistic. But I still want to try it. Last year I only read 3 books (one of which was a reread), which was pretty pathetic. While I'm not exactly sure if I'll reach 100, I'd like to get closer than ever before. I'd like to read all of the books I already own, and not just fiction--nonfiction, poetry, etc. I think if I have a few books going at once it may help. We'll see.

5. Watch 100 new movies.
I've made this goal before but I've never actually achieved it, even though it would be much easier than the 100 books goal. Last year I only watched 48 movies, which was way less than my usual low 80s from the two years before. If I watch one movie every three days or so, this should be pretty easy. Only movies I've never seen before count.

6. Have an awesome 30th birthday.
Ok, so it's not until August, but I'm already trying to plan it. Well, because for Christmas, my husband got me Hamilton tickets (!!!!!!!!!) for the day after, and I bought tickets for the Amelie musical on my birthday. That's all I have so far, but I have lots and lots of time to plan everything else. I'm hoping to travel to NY the day before my birthday and leave two days after.

So that's it, pretty much. I would like to look into publishing some smaller things (like all those poems that have been sitting around collecting dust), lose some weight (and keep it off!), organize my apartment, yada yada. The really good news is that I've actually started out the year with a big accomplishment, but I think you'll read about that somewhere else...*insert evil laugh* Hopefully I can take the momentum and run with it.

Do I have terribly unrealistic goals? What are your goals for the new year?

When Words Happen

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I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that I haven't written a blog post besides IWSG for months. I feel so out of the loop. I do read some blogs now and then but definitely not every day. And I never comment because I don't want anyone to come back here and see all the tumbleweeds. I think I'll probably stay on my sort-of-hiatus for the rest of the year. Although Jordan's birthday is this month, and he's finally turning 21 (sort of)...help me! ("What makes you think I haven't had a fake ID for years??" he says). I could do something for that (but not a Muse Party. I haven't given myself enough time to set that up, womp womp). I'm hoping to get back into the swing of blogging next year.

Anyway, the good news! You'll never guess. I'VE BEEN WRITING ACTUAL WORDS. Wait, it gets weirder. NOT SOMETHING USELESS. I know, right? FOR THE ACTUAL THIRD DRAFT OF UNEVEN LINES. WHAT IS THIS MADNESS????

*cough* I'll stop shouting now. I wouldn't say it's a ridiculous amount of words, but maybe a ridiculous amount of ideas. Like I keep thinking about it all the time, whereas I've mostly been avoiding thinking about it for quite some time now. Sometimes I'll get struck by an idea and have to stop everything to write it down--whether it's at work or 5 in the morning and I'm trying to sleep and can barely keep my eyes open to type it into my phone. But I will definitely take what I can get.

I'm still trying to figure out how to rewrite the last third of the book, but I want to keep editing and writing to get there and hopefully I'll have a plan by then. My ideas have been all over the place, at different points in the book, but I'm not trying to rein them in. Because like I said, I'll take what I can get!!!!!!

I am trying to get more organized, though. I finally bought Scrivener and I'm loving it so far. I had the trial sitting on my computer for years. I tend to leave little scraps of ideas all over the place--on my laptop, my flash drive, my phone, in notebooks, on random pieces of paper. Sometimes I'll think of a sentence I wrote a while ago but can't remember its exact location. So I'm trying to find all those pieces and put them all in the same place! I'm hoping it will help tie everything together and maybe I can figure some more things out.

Ok, I'll stop rambling, BECAUSE  I HAVE TO GET BACK TO WRITING. Ok, not really. When this posts I'll actually be at work. But when I get home, WORDS. WILL. HAPPEN.

New Story Syndrome

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

Hello blogging universe! (Blogiverse?) I know I've been super off the grid lately. I guess it's hard to blog about writing when you're not actually writing, which has pretty much been the case for the past few months. I just haven't been able to come up with ideas lately. And I don't think I could write a blog post every week just talking about how I'm always tired...

Anyway, this month, I thought I'd take a crack at the IWSG's question, which is: What is your favorite aspect of being a writer? 

While I think there are a ton of favorite things, one in particular came to mind. I love that excited feeling when a story is brand new and the ideas just keep coming to you non-stop. I guess I've been feeling this way lately because I actually wrote something new! 

I wrote a short story to submit to the IWSG anthology contest, and I actually had a lot of fun crafting the characters and the world they live in. At first, I just had a basic idea of what I wanted the story to be. Then one day, the ideas started flowing (at work, of all places!) and every gap began to fill itself in. Of course, I procrastinated on actually writing the story, but I think I tend to do that when I really like a story idea. I like to keep it in my head for a while before I put it on the page. 

I think no matter the outcome of the contest, I'd like to continue with this story, whether that means writing short sequels or maybe even a novel (because I have chronic novelitis!). Even if the stories are just for me, it would still be a good way to keep the creativity going. I've come to realize that the less I write, the less I want to write. It's hard to pull yourself out of a rut. But since I've actually been writing lately, I feel more motivated to keep doing it. 

But that newness of a story is one of my favorite things. When it's all you can think about and you just want to keep writing and get those ideas down. That kind of excitement is a hard thing to ignore. 

Everything and Nothing

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I can't believe it's October already! Where is the year going?? I haven't written a blog post since last month's IWSG, and I guess technically a lot has changed, well, since I GOT MARRIED. But you knew that was coming (most of you, anyway). Vegas was lots of fun and the wedding was short and sweet and (mostly) stress free. I did manage to win a little money on the slot machines but you go through a lot of money on food and alcohol and getting around. So far married life is pretty much the same as non-married life, but my husband and I have been together for nine years before we got hitched, so really not much has changed. And no, I haven't changed my last name yet and probably won't change it on the blog or my social media even if I do, since I think I'll still use just my maiden name for my pen name. Still deciding. 

Ok, you get one picture before I move on to writing stuff! I loved my flowers! They were so pretty. And my blue shoes, but they killed my toes and I switched to flip flops after the ceremony. 

Anyhoo, onto writing stuff. Well, not much progress there. I mean, I have been busy. Plus having a full time job makes it difficult to get any writing done. But I also just haven't felt like it lately. I just don't feel the drive. I get hints of it here and there but I feel like I don't want to force it. I think it will gradually come back once I get back into a normal life groove. I'd really love to get the third draft of my novel done some point soon. I doubt it will happen before the year is over, but the sooner, the better. 

Sometimes I feel like I just don't know what to write about. That's probably why I haven't been blogging too much lately. I just don't have any ideas. I can never seem to come up with anything new. I really would like to write something for the IWSG anthology contest, too, but I'm not sure if there's enough time or if I even have a good idea. I do have something in mind, but I just don't know if I can develop it enough and get it to where I want it to be in the amount of time we have. 

It seems whenever I don't know what to do, I just end up doing nothing. I would really love to get something submitted for the anthology, because I think I would regret not doing it more than doing it and not getting in. How can you have a chance if you don't even try? The good news is that I do have a lot of time this weekend by myself to try to work on some things. Whether I get a story done or even just some editing on UL, I think I'll count that as a win.