P is for Poetry

One of the things I never seem to have time (or inspiration) for is writing poetry. For a long time during college I had given up on writing fiction, after two fiction writing classes proved disappointing. But in those classes, you could only write short stories, and if you read my N post the other day, you can imagine how well that went for me. So after two semesters of fiction, I decided to try poetry instead. And I loved it. I'd written poetry before, most of it in high school, most of it more awful than you can imagine. But I was older and wiser now, so I had more things to write about and more perspective to write them well.

I thought poetry was my calling, as I kept taking classes up until my last semester at college. In my final semester, I had the option to create a thesis project in order to obtain a BFA (Bachelor of Fine Arts) instead of a BA. I chose to write a poetry portfolio. The other options included writing a novel or a collection of short stories, but poetry had been my thing for so long that it seemed like the natural choice. I had developed a certain voice in my poetry, one that was distinctly mine, with a feminine edge and a good amount of sarcasm. It was always easy to write poetry because I was usually writing as myself.

I also decided in my last semester to try one more fiction class, which was either the greatest or worst decision ever. The first short story I came up with eventually turned into the novel I've been working on for the last three years. I don't think I would go back and change my mind if I could, because I really believe this particular story is my calling, but it's been a rough journey. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had stuck completely with poetry. Where would I be in my life right now? I suppose it doesn't matter, especially because I feel everything happens for a reason.

One of my biggest regrets, however, is that I never write poetry anymore. It was easy to come up with ideas when I was in college and forced to hand in a new poem every two weeks. Now I'm so focused on my novel that it's hard to come up with poems. Even when I do get an idea, I never actually write it down. It just kind of floats to the back of my mind. I know if I had more time, I would be able to focus on poetry more, not just writing new poems but finding places to publish my old ones. Because it kind of breaks my heart that I'm not really a poet anymore.

I was going to share a poem, but I couldn't find one I liked enough! They all need a lot of work...

O is for Opposites

When you're crafting the characters in your stories, do they tend to turn out like yourself or other people you know? Is your main character a modified version of yourself? Or are you complete opposites?

In the case of my book, I could not be more different than my main character. Jordan is outgoing, charismatic, never afraid to speak his mind. He can come up with a snarky comeback with a snap of his finger. As for me, the person actually coming up with those comebacks, well, I have to stare at the computer screen for a few minutes before every line is perfectly crafted. I'm ridiculously shy, introverted, and I stumble with words when I talk to people. It's a lot different when I can hide behind my fictional characters.

I'm sure I'm not the only writer who feels that they live through their characters. Your characters can be nothing like you or they can have things in common with you. I think either way, writing from these points of view can be therapeutic. If your main character is your exact opposite, then it's a lot of fun to pretend to be him. It's fun to write your characters doing or saying things that you never would. On the other side, if your characters are like you, that can help these characters be more realistic. You could also have your stories reflect real life, use your own experiences to fuel how these characters react in certain situations.

As for me, I'm most like one of the minor characters, Eric, who ends up being Jordan's best friend by the end of the book. The subplot of the book is actually a bit reflective of some things that happened to me in high school. I can simultaneously use my experiences to make the story richer, and use the story to work through any unresolved feelings. Of course, you always want the story itself to be your main focus. Don't get too caught up in your own issues to forget that these are fictional characters.

Honestly, though, I have more fun writing as Jordan than any other character I've ever created, and I'm sure the fact that we're so different has a lot to do with it. I guess even when it comes to writers and their characters, opposites do attract.

N is for Novelitis (Plus Giveaway Winners!)

I've talked about the "curse of the novel" before (back when I had about five followers so I'm sure no one read it), but since I've put a name to it, I thought I'd go a little bit more in depth. I have novelitis. I can only write novels.

I'm sure this seems a little silly. I've talked about writing poetry before, and I've only finished writing two novels, but that doesn't even begin to cover all of the ideas, snippets, and partially written drafts that I've worked on. The problem I have with actually finishing novels is a topic for another today. My problem is ideas.

Both of the novel I've finished started out as short stories. By the time I finished each short story, I realized there was something else there. I could keep going with the story, or in the case of my current WIP, stretch it out so the plot wasn't so rushed. Basically, I've come to realize that I am incapable of writing a short story. Any time I come up with a good idea, it's always too big for the short story format. I just can't reign it in.

Now this isn't always a bad thing. My current story really does work better as a novel than a short story. But it can be a bit frustrating to set out writing a short story, and then realize that there's a LOT more work to do. Writing a novel takes a lot of time and energy, and you have to commit to it.

Maybe I'm cursed, or maybe I just think too big. Either way, the struggle continues. Maybe someday I'll write an actual short story.

And now for the fun part! Thanks to everyone who participated in my 100 Followers Giveaway! I'm at 97 now (getting there, getting there). So now it's time to announce my two winners. The winner of the $25 Amazon Gift Card is (insert drum roll here...) Anna Cade! And the notebook and pen goes to...Leandra Wallace! Yay! Congrats to the winners! I'll be emailing you so you can claim your prizes!

This was a lot of fun. I'll have to come up with more giveaways in the future. :)

M is for Moving On

Thanks to everyone who entered my 100 Blog Followers Giveaway! I'll be announcing the winners tomorrow. Still only at 95 followers, but I just realized the A to Z Challenge is only half over! Yikes!

So I think I've finally made a decision about my life. My last day of work is going to be June 3rd. I haven't told my boss yet since I think it's too soon, maybe sometime in May. I wanted to give myself a little more time to earn just a bit more money, so I'm not diving into my savings right away once I'm jobless. My fiance and I are going on a trip to Las Vegas on the 5th so I figured that was a good time to leave. So I'll quit my job and immediately go on vacation! And no, we're not getting married there...

It's a really, really long time coming. When I went back to work after my staycation and still felt burnt out and miserable, I knew I really couldn't do it anymore. My job is sucking the life out of me. If I'm in a position where I can afford to give it up, then I really think I have to.

I still want to finish my second draft before I leave my job, which honestly, is probably the main reason I'm giving myself almost two more months. I have a lot of planning to do, but I'm really looking forward to being able to focus on my writing and looking for a job that is something I actually want to do.

L is for Love (A Four Letter Word)

Ok, I'm making this a quick one because I'm on a ridiculous twelve hour double today. Yes, on a Monday. Who the hell has to work doubles on a Monday?? Well, me, apparently.

I know today's post is about "love," but it's also about language. When people ask me if my book is a romance, I always hesitate to say yes. While there are some romantic elements, the plot is a bit more complicated than one you might usually find in a romance novel. So the word "love" isn't something I like to carelessly throw around in the book. That's why I only use it once. I call it one of my curse words.

My characters are in a situation where if they were to fall in love with each other, they could never say it. My narrator certainly isn't someone who would ever admit to being in love, partly because he's too young but also too jaded and cynical. He has no use for love. Both characters are so flawed that even if they had love, they could never make it last. They both know this, so they can never acknowledge it.

So keeping this in mind, I've been a bit sneaky in the writing process. It's not something everyone is going to notice, but if anyone does, that one use of the word "love" is going to punch them in the face. Sometimes you use the word "love" more casually, like, "for the love of God," or, "I loved that pizza!"  I don't even do this. I'll do a search on each chapter to make sure I didn't accidentally let the word slip.

I'm perfectly fine dropping swears here and there throughout my book, but if "love," pops up, well, then we've got a problem!

Today's the last day to enter my giveaway! You could win a $25 Amazon Gift Card or some awesome writing tools. Ends tonight at midnight and I'll announce the winners on Wednesday!

K is for Kissing

I've only written two complete novels in my life (the first one three times, don't even get me started...), and even though they are very different stories, I tend to notice certain similarities between them. Like how I always find a way to get my MC's parent(s) out of the picture so they can pretty much do whatever they want. The biggest similarity in both, though, is that kissing happens. A lot.

My first novel was a fantasy about immortal beings who drew the life force out of their victims by kissing them. Sometimes I over-analyze this concept since I was fourteen when I came up with it and had never been kissed. Maybe I was fascinated by the idea. It did make writing kissing scenes a bit difficult since I really had no idea what it was like. But since it was a fantasy and there were more important things to focus on than the kiss itself, it made it a bit easier.

Fun fact, that is somewhat pathetic but you'll probably "awwww" for days over it: I didn't get my first kiss until I was twenty, and the person I had it with is now my fiance. I've never kissed anyone else.

So anyway, onto my current WIP. Since my characters are in a relationship where they can't have sex (one is 15 and the other is 28), but they're still attracted to each other, they end up kissing a lot. Like seriously, all the time. There's usually at least a short kissing scene in each chapter. The issue I find myself having is to keep each new scene interesting without it just being a repeat of the last one. I mean, there's only so many ways you can describe a kiss, right?

I think the trick is to mix it up a bit. Sometimes I'll write a page long make out scene, other times just a sentence or two to imply that it happened. Sometimes you want to give the reader what they want, other times you'll want to drive them nuts waiting for more. Luckily for me, a major part of the story is that the physical relationship progresses very slowly and methodically, so that, for example, the first tongue slip is a huge deal. So anything even slightly different from the last kissing scene is worth mentioning.

It's not all physical, either. You'll want to get into the character's head, too, examine how they're feeling while the kissing is happening. First kiss scenes can be particularly fun, if not also terrifying. That's where the thought process is going to be most important. The characters will probably be nervous and excited. And a first kiss isn't always perfect, either. Just do whatever works for your story and characters. If it needs to be sloppy and disappointing to create just a little more conflict, or to let down your character's expectations, then that's ok. But it's ok if it needs to be perfect, too. That earth shattering, heart stopping first kiss will always be fun to read about.

Don't forget about my 100 Blog Followers Giveaway! Ends Monday night! Super easy to enter and you could win a $25 Amazon Gift Card!!

J is for Judgment

I worry about a lot of things, especially now that people are actually reading my second draft. You know, people besides my fiance who just says everything is wonderful. I worry about being judged, and for a lot of different reasons.

I worry about people judging the story as a whole. Either saying it's not good enough or it's too messed up for people to like. I worry that people don't see the story or the characters the way I see them. And if that's the case, then maybe they're right to judge me because I haven't done a good enough job writing to get my point across.

I worry about people judging my writing style. Maybe they don't like the voice, and I've worked so hard to craft it into something distinguishable. Maybe they don't like the use of swearing, although I've tried to tone it down to where it's realistic and not unnecessary. Maybe they don't like when I start a sentence with a conjunction. But I can't help myself! Whoops...Maybe they don't like my excessive use of dialogue. Maybe they don't believe my characters could be real people.

Maybe they'll judge my book as being something superficial when I was going for something deeper. Maybe they'll miss all the intricacies. I can't be there to point every tiny detail out. Maybe they just won't get it.

Ok, maybe I should have saved this post for the "P" day for Paranoia...but anyway, just some things to get all flustered about for no reason. On with the rest of the day.

There's still time to enter my 100 followers giveaway! (93...getting there!) You could win a $25 Amazon gift card or some writing goodies. It's not just for new followers--if you've been here all along, you can enter, too!