Creative Slump

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

This month's optional question is: If you ever did stop writing, what would you replace it with?

That's an interesting question for me, considering the fact that I haven't properly written anything in a few years. I've done some editing, some brainstorming, a note here and there, but no real writing for quite some time now. That isn't to say that I've made a choice to "stop" writing, exactly. It's more like a creative pause. 

So, since I'm not actually writing, what have I replaced it with? Well...not much, really. Writing has always been my main creative outlet, and while I have had other interests, they mostly turn out to be temporary or just an idea that is never brought to fruition. I tried getting to jewelry making for a bit, but haven't committed to it as much as I'd like (especially considering the amount of beads I bought....). I made a few bracelets for myself but then didn't try anything for awhile until I made a bunch for my niece last Christmas: 

So at this point, it's just an occasional hobby. Nothing ever seems to keep my interest like writing has in the past. I like watching movies, but I don't think I'd be good as a reviewer. I've thought about starting a Youtube channel, but I'm too shy and don't have a good idea what my focus should be. I have started using TikTok, but I've only made a few videos so far. I have interests and small ideas, but nothing major to fill the void of writing. 

You could say I've been in a creative slump. I've also been in a reading slump, which is probably related. Or both slumps are influencing each other, since usually reading inspires me to write. I think I got discouraged when I read too many heavy, long novels in a row, then wanted to read a light, fluffy, romance to break things up, and the one I chose was SO BAD that I had no idea what I wanted to read anymore. 

I do have a few new books lined up that I hope will get me back into reading more. And possibly even inspire me to get back into writing. Maybe even get back to Uneven Lines? I know, now I'm talking crazy. But as I always say to myself, one thing at a time. 

Yet Another Harebrained Scheme

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

This month's optional question is: When you are working on a story, what inspires you?

I suppose I could take this question two different ways: what helps motivate me to write, or where do my ideas come from? When I think of "getting in the zone" to write, music is always the thing that helps me the most. I always create playlists for my books and listening to songs that make me think about my stories always help inspire me to write. 

As far as ideas go, they're all over the place. I've gotten ideas from dreams, from watching trashy daytime television, songs, life experiences, and probably some other things I'm forgetting. Sometimes if I just let a really basic concept or a trope sit in my head overnight I'll be able to come up with a whole story around it. 

I've been trying numerous different ways lately to spark some sort of inspiration. Can't exactly say any of them have actually worked (yet!) I seem to get plenty of ideas but I'm not very good at following through on said ideas. Basically anything I've said here before and you probably commented, "that's a great idea!" Well...I can't seem to get past the "good idea" phase and get to the "actually doing something" phase. 

That being said, I do have another harebrained scheme. The good thing about this one, however, is that I really think it's something I need to get done eventually, even if it doesn't lead to any immediate inspiration. 

I've put a lot of details into Uneven Lines over the many, many, many....many years I've been working on it. I love things like symbolism, themes, motifs, etc. What I want to do is write all of these little details down into one place, kind of like Cliff Notes for my own book. It's really just for me because I want to make sure I remember all of these details, and maybe going over them will help spark some ideas of how to finish the book and expand upon everything I've been putting into the book so far. 

And maybe someday I'll actually have an audience for this book and I can share these things and blow everyone's minds! I can dream. 

After lots and lots of searching, I bought a journal to write all of this down. I ended up choosing a simple gray one (because gray is one of UL's colors...yes it has colors...). I thought about getting something fancier and was looking at all kinds of custom journals on Etsy but I didn't really want to spend too much money on it, just in case, you know, I don't actually do it....but I also didn't want to use an ordinary notebook, so this journal has lots and lots of pages to write all of my nonsense. 

And as long as I actually do it, I may be able to fill all of those pages. 

Make a Schedule

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

This month's optional question is: Do you remember writing your first book? What were your thoughts about a career path on writing? Where are you now and how is it working out for you? If you're at the start of the journey, what are your goals?

Actually, that's four questions!

My very first book was a picture book that I wrote when I was 8 years old. I wasn't thinking too far ahead about a writing career at that point, but I knew that I loved to come up with stories and wanted to write them down. As I got older and started writing novels, I knew that this was what I wanted to do. 

I would love to be a full time writer and completely support myself through writing. Unfortunately, that's not where I am at this point in my life, and my day job does take up a lot of my energy, making it difficult to make time for writing. I've also been in a creative slump for quite some time which has also kept me far from completing any of my writing goals. 

I think my main goal right now, one that I can actually accomplish in the near future, is to create a writing schedule for myself. I want to mainly focus on Uneven Lines, of course, but I'd also like to give some time to other book ideas I've come up with, especially ones that I feel I can write a lot faster and maybe actually have a chance of publishing. 

So creating some kind of schedule for myself along with a list of the projects I want to work on is my main writing goal for this month. I'm hoping just to get to a point where I'm writing consistently again. Then maybe I'll be able to see some kind of career in the future. 

Envious of Everyone!

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

It's already a new month? What the heck?? This month's optional question is: Have you ever read a line in novel or a clever plot twist that caused you to have author envy?

I wish I could think of a particular line or plot twist that made me feel this way, and I'm sure there have been, but I think at this point with my writing, I'm envious of pretty much anyone who's actually writing. 

Even at my best, I'm a slow writer. I've always been in awe of those authors that can bust out multiple books per year. I don't think I could come up with enough ideas for that many books, let alone write them. I do have a good handful of unwritten or unfinished book ideas, but I feel like it's typically very hard for me to get new ideas for stories. They only come around once in a while. 

I've been in a creative slump for quite some time, but for the past month or so, I feel like life has just been too hectic to focus on writing. I have a lot of plans to get more organized and try to focus on different projects in the hopes that something will spark that creative energy. I've got a lot of writing books and workbooks that I hope will help figure out how to finally finish Uneven Lines. What I really need right now is the time and energy. 

I know it'll work out eventually. The chaotic happenings in my life seem to finally be mellowing out (although who knows what could happen next!). I just need to find a way to work writing (or writing related activities) into my daily schedule, then maybe I'll get used to it and want to do it all the time! We shall see. 

Feeling Something

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I don't want to get ahead of myself, or jinx anything, but I just have this feeling that I might start writing in the near future. 

I woke up this morning (my day off work, luckily) with the sudden urge to read a few of the most recent chapters of Uneven Lines. I can't even remember the exact thought or moment that triggered it. Probably just some half asleep attempt at finding inspiration. In the past when I've had a similar urge, I usually procrastinate doing other things all day, then never get around to it and the urge passes. Or I may try reading but I dislike something about it and stop myself. 

This time I decided to force it. Even though I could have gone back to sleep once my husband went to work, I got up and turned on my laptop. I read through Chapters 26 and 27, even though 27 is certainly the worst chapter and probably needs to be completely rewritten. It was exactly the sort of chapter that would normally have me cringing enough to stop reading. But I read every word of those two chapters. 

Of course, there were lines that made me cringe. But there were other lines I absolutely loved. I almost wanted to print it out and highlight them. Tell myself no matter how much I need to rework these chapters, those lines are keepers. 

I don't think actually writing will come easily or fast, at least not for UL. I have a lot to figure out. I'd like to do some more reading of what I have so far, as well as some brainstorming. I got a book that helps you figure out your story's theme, which I think will help me figure out what I'm trying to say with this book and also how to end it. I want to make a list of all the motifs and symbols I have throughout the book and analyze how and why I've used them, and how I can expand on them to really make an impact on the story. 

I have a lot to figure out before I do any actual writing or rewriting, but I think it could be fun really diving deep into all of these details, because they are what I love most about this story. Those are the lines that make me smile or make my heart race. The ones that let me know I can't give up on this book even though it seems impossible. 

This time, I think, I'm going to do all I can to keep this feeling alive. 

Mastermind

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

I'm at least attempting to start the year out with a bang--this month, I'm a co-host! The other awesome co-hosts are Jemima Pett, Debs Carey, Kim Lajevardi, Natalie Aguirre, and T. Powell Coltrin. 

This month's optional question is: Do you have a word of the year? Is there one word that sums up what you need to work on or change in the coming year? For instance, in 2021 my word of the year was Finish. I was determined to finished my first draft by the end of the year. In 2022, my word of the year is Ease. I want to get my process, systems, finances, and routines where life flows with ease and less chaos. What is your word for 2023? Why?

I had an idea of what I wanted to write about for this post before I knew what the question was, and the word that comes to mind from that idea is not something that I ever would have thought could be a 'word of the year' for me. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized it would be a really cool word of the year if I could actually commit to it. 

And that word is: MASTERMIND

Let me backtrack a little here. It all started with Taylor Swift. 

"Mastermind" is the last track on Taylor's newest album Midnights (which I love, but that's not the topic at hand). I really liked this song right away, mostly because it reminded me of Jordan. Like in a I need to add this to his personal playlist kind of way (of course I have one of those!). Because he IS a mastermind! I've always known this. Perhaps a bit more sinister than this song implies, but still, it seemed to fit. 

But this isn't just about Jordan. It's also about me. And still a bit about Taylor Swift. HEAR ME OUT. I want to write books the way Taylor Swift writes songs. Not just that she's good at it or can bust out album after album. I mean the CRAFTINESS. 

I love being methodical when it comes to writing, especially with Jordan's stories for some reason. I love symbolism and Easter eggs and tiny details that seem like nothing but you find out later are extremely important. I want to plant tiny moments in the first book that you won't realize matter until the third book. It's really fun and these things kind of come easily to me somehow. 

So, I want to be a mastermind! I want to own it. Most importantly, I want to DO IT. I haven't been writing at all for quite some time, feeling like I've lost my mojo. Maybe if I start thinking about the things that I find fun about writing, the rest of it will start falling into place and I can actually get motivated again. 

Part of my plan involves figuring out my story's theme. I've always struggled on getting to the ending, and if I can figure out what it is I'm trying to say with this story, maybe it will become clearer. That also means really figuring out what Jordan's master plan is within the story, which is also fitting for this post. All his tiny little plans are very obvious, but I've always felt there was something else lurking beneath the surface that I hadn't figured out yet, maybe even a twist to reveal. 

So maybe this year I will own being a mastermind. 

It's the Most Chaotic Time of the Year

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

This month's optional question is: It's holiday time! Are the holidays a time to catch up or fall behind on writer goals?

We're gonna go ahead and ignore the fact that I haven't been very good at keeping up with my writer goals for the entire year and say the holidays are definitely a time to fall behind on them. 

Christmastime always feels very chaotic for me. Every year as it approaches, I tell myself I'm going to keep it simple this time, and every year, I do nothing of the sort. I go absolutely nuts with presents ideas. I usually come up with several themed gift baskets for family members. Here's just a few I've made over the years: 

Movie night

Brunch

S'mores

Christmas cookie

I guess technically this year I'm taking a step back by not making a basket for every single member (or couple) in my family. My main project is for my sister and brother-in-law (it's inspired by the album Harry's House and it's completely insane and I'm completely insane for doing it), but I'm also making a smaller bloody mary themed one for my dad (the drink! I've found some cute stuff like pepperoni straws and little cocktail picks with plastic pickles and olives at the end.). I'm also just filling a basket with candy for my niece, whose birthday is three days after Christmas so I tend to get her a lot of stuff. 

I swear that's it! Unless I think of more ideas...

I go kind of psycho with all of my ideas and running to different stores and websites to get just the right things for each basket idea. My husband just kind of lets me do my thing and says, "let me know when you need some money." 

Speaking of hubby, we are the exact opposite when it comes to gift giving. I'm always trying to find some gifts that he'd never expect, while creating an Amazon wish list that tells him exactly what to get me (LOL!). 

And we can't forget the baking! Hours spent browsing Pinterest for the perfect recipes (usually cookies...at least 2 different kinds...sometimes more...), and then the actual baking in my tiny apartment that takes forever. 

So yeah, not a lot of writing related activities around this time of year. The good thing, especially this year since I've felt so creatively drained, is that I get to actually use my creativity to the fullest extent. It's not for writing, but at least it's something! I'll take cookies and gift baskets over sitting around doing nothing. 

Happy Holidays!!