Chapter One, Round Three

Don't ask me how I manage to randomly figure things out. I have no idea.

What I really should have been working on this weekend were my A to Z posts. In fact, I was planning on writing about that for this blog post, too. But something even better, something unexpected happened. I'll probably be kicking myself on April 1st for wasting a whole weekend, but in the long run, it will definitely be worth it.

So I've been feeling some inspiration brewing for a while, like a really slow coffee pot that I couldn't touch until it was full. I knew eventually something would happen, I just didn't know when, or how successful that inspiration would be.

Since I was actually off this weekend I had a lot of time to focus on some writing. While I did make a list of potential A to Z post ideas on Saturday, I knew on Sunday what I wanted to do was try writing. Actual writing. Uneven Lines third draft writing. I KNOW, RIGHT??? I don't fully understand how it happened but I'm not going to question it.

I sat down at the table with a notebook, some notes I had made for the new opening, and the 2nd draft, and just started writing. And for once, it actually worked. I started with a complete rewrite of the first scene and managed to get halfway through the first chapter. A few paragraphs from the 2nd draft managed to make the cut, but overall, it's pretty different, and I hope a lot better. But the best part is that I actually wrote something!

I've always thought of the first chapter in three parts, and yesterday I got the first part done. Once the second part is complete, the third will be the easiest because I'm not changing much from the last draft. So if I can finish the scene I'm working on right now, then the whole first chapter will be complete. And then I can keep going. I wasn't sure the third draft was ever going to happen, but it looks like things may just be starting to work out.

AND since it's Pi Day, (and it's entirely relevant!), I thought I'd share a little snippet from the first chapter (just because, ok???). This is right after Jordan meets his math tutor, Tom, and is actually one of the few details that has survived since the original short story I wrote five years ago. Enjoy (I hope...)!

             I moved aside to let him in, taking in a good eyeful while his back was turned. That’s when I noticed he was holding a round dish covered in plastic wrap.

            “Oh,” he said, following my gaze. “It’s a pie.”

            I blinked a few times. “I can see that.”

            “A pie. Get it? Pie? Like pi!”

            He didn’t laugh but by the look in his eyes he thought this was hilarious. I had no idea what to make of him. “So…you brought dessert?”

            He shrugged. “It’s just a fun little icebreaker. You don’t have to eat it now.” He held it out to me with both hands. “It’s key lime, by the way.”

            I took it and placed it on the counter, all the while staring at him with a raised eyebrow. “Where’d you get it?”

            “I made it. Where did you want to set up?”

            My bed? “Uh…living room’s fine.” I led him over to the couch, trying to calm my rapid pulse. Seriously, who was this guy? Math tutor who makes lame jokes with baked goods? But, um, hello—yummy. And I didn’t mean the pie. 

Maybe I'll get to talk about those A to Z posts on Wednesday. Or maybe I'll be so deep into editing/rewriting that I won't be able. Either way, it will be a good thing.

Jordan Takes Over (Except Not...): New Characters, New Voices

**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. Except this month. This month, he didn't feel like it. He felt like sleeping. And since I've been writing a useless thing from Adam's point of view (aka Wannabe-Muse-2), Jordan told him to do it. I have no control over these things. So fine! Take it away, Adam...**

Wait, what do I do? No one told me what to do!

Jordan is sleeping and Sarah is glaring at me. I don't think she likes me. Well, ok, that's not true. She loves me but she really wants to hate me. Is that even a thing? Like hate to love, love to hate? Love but want to hate? Never heard of that. Sarah didn't want me to take over. It was Jordan's idea. Well, because he wanted to keep sleeping. He's so cute when he's sleeping! Uh-oh, Sarah's tapping her foot now. She didn't want me to write this post because apparently I "don't have a voice yet." Mostly because "nothing will ever be published from my POV." And anything written from my POV is "complete self-indulgent cutesy crap." Or something.

I guess I could talk about writers being totally mean to their characters, but I won't (I think Jordan could handle that topic better). But lets talk about having a voice. Voice is one of those things that a character needs, whether the story is written from that character's perspective or not. Every time a character speaks, you want that person to feel real. Not every character should sound exactly the same. That would get pretty boring.

So when you are writing from a character's point of view, it's even more important for that voice to be unique. First of all, you don't want your novel to sound like a textbook. If you're using first person, you want that character's voice to actually seem like a real person is telling the story. Their choice of words should reflect who they are and how they react to what's happening to them. And if you write a new book with different characters, you'll want it to sound different.

But sometimes you've got a new character. And you haven't quite figured everything out about him. Take me, for example. I still don't have a last or middle name, eye color, or a proper description of my hair, apparently. I don't know what the big deal is, it's just hair. But anyway, I'm also lacking pretty much all of my backstory. But that's ok. New characters are never going to be 100% complete when you first think of them. It takes time to sort out all those details, figure out what will work for the character and for the story.

The same can be said for voice. It isn't going to come to you right away. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be writing. Like all of those other details, eventually it will sort itself out. Once you start writing as that character, eventually how he speaks will start to feel more natural. You'll know exactly what he'd say about a situation. The most important things you can do are to keep thinking and keep writing. And eventually those new characters won't seem so new anymore.

I'm being told this is just a one time thing, since I will "never ever be an actual muse." So I promise I'll wake Jordan up for next month's post. Mostly because I don't want Sarah to yell at me...Bye!

Fast Five Friday: Things You Covet

I haven't done a Fast Five Friday post in forever, but I saw this one on Deborah Hawkins' blog earlier today and wanted to join in (mostly because I came up with my ideas super fast)! As always, FFF is hosted by the ladies over at Cover Girls! I know I'm a little late to the party, but hey, it's still Friday, I worked all day, and my free time has been occupied because Adam is making me write something useless. No, that wasn't a typo. I'm sure Jordan is getting a nice nap during all of this. I'm getting four pages so far, so I'm not going to bitch about it...

Anyhoo, this week's Fast Five asks us to share five things we covet/ or would like to acquire. Here are mine:

1. A finished third draft of Uneven Lines
2. A book deal
3. A movie deal after the book deal
4. An apartment with more than one room
5. Hamilton tickets

Most of these are probably impossible. Especially #5. *shakes fist*

Well, I'm off. I have to be back at work at 6 am tomorrow and I'd like to get some writing done before I pass out. See you all on Monday (I hope)!!

Where's the Motivation?

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

I stayed up way too late on Sunday night to watch the Oscars, just because. Actually, I love watching awards shows, but probably not for the same reasons as most people. They always give me a little kick of motivation. I usually get some writing done, maybe even make a big editing revelation about my writing. Why? Well, I tend to dream big. I would love to write something good enough to win awards. One of my dreams is to turn my book into a screenplay. I know it's a ridiculous dream, but if it helps me to get any writing done, I can't really say it's a bad thing.

But here is my problem: even when I do feel those surges of motivation, not a lot gets done. I know a lot of my issues involve time and energy, but my biggest problem is probably motivation. I'd say it's nearly impossible to motivate myself. Of course I really want to get things done, but it feels like that part is buried under the desire to just do nothing.

It's a vicious cycle, really. Not getting any writing done leads to depression, which makes it even harder to get anything done. When I have those few moments where I actually feel the desire to write, I'm caught off guard and spend too much time just trying to figure out which part to work on. Motivation isn't something that comes easily to me, so when it actually shows up, I don't know what to do with it.

I try to do little things to motivate myself. I actually made a short, six song motivation playlist, with the goal of starting every day by listening to it. Music usually gives me a little push of motivation, as well. But I don't listen to it every day. I don't even know why. It would be so easy to do, not take too long, and worst case scenario, I get to listen to some music that I like.

I don't know why motivation is so hard for me to come by. Maybe I'm afraid of my dreams. Maybe I'm afraid of failing. Maybe I'm just afraid that everyone will hate what I write, since that's been the case more than once. So I don't know. Maybe it takes more than motivation. Once I get that motivation, I still have to commit. And I still have to work. Like everything else, I guess I'll have to take it one step at a time.

Do you struggle with motivation? What do you do to motivate yourself?

After the Party

Thanks to everyone who took part in Monday's Muse Party Blogfest, as well as those who just stopped by. Hopefully everyone had a good time with their Valentines and anti-Valentines. I know I did! It was super fun to read everyone's posts about their muses/characters.

The Muse Parties always seem very chaotic. A lot of our muses have a lot in common. For one, there is so much sarcasm and snark being thrown around that I wish I had brought some earplugs. And having that many crazy characters in one place can be dangerous. I think if these parties were real, they would end in drunken fights, random muse hookups, police involvement, and possibly the whole place burning down. While that didn't actually happen, we came pretty close. Here are just a few highlights:

- We had several awesome muses and characters show up (along with their awesome authors!), including a fairy, a Viking, and a cannibal (just don't call her that). Luckily no one was maimed or eaten.
- A lot of muses had significant others who weren't at the party so were just there for a fun time. Others wanted to flirt like crazy. I won't say which one mine was...
- I spent most of the time making sure Jordan didn’t drink any of the booze everyone else brought (so much wine!). I *should* hold off on another Muse Party until he’s 21 but I probably won’t.
- We had lots and lots of sweets and uh, roasted goat. (Yum?)
- Not everyone was too keen on wearing the dress code colors. It's all good, though. Pink isn't for everyone. "Are you saying I dressed up for nothing?" Jordan asked. "AND I could have worn gray???"
- Too many disturbing versions of spin the bottle that involved sharing drinks and all out brawls. I didn’t think I’d ever say this, but letting Jordan be in charge of spin the bottle probably would have been safer.

- Jordan somehow got frosting all over his nice black shirt (I dunno, something happened with Will Scarlet on the table for at least seven minutes), but it worked out since he got a few cool t-shirts as musiversary gifts. Hopefully everyone snagged some cupcakes before he smooshed them, though.  

- I have no idea what happened to Jordan's tie. I'm not sure I want to know. 

- Various random fires. Probably more than one magic spell. And possibly some sword fights.
- Between Valentine’s Day gifts between writers and muses, plus musiversary gifts for me and Jordan, you couldn’t see the floor by the end of the party. Nothing but wrapping paper.

I'm done with the cartoons, I swear. For now...

Thanks to everyone for making the second Muse Party Blogfest a success!

The Muse Party Blogfest: (Anti-) Valentine's Day Edition!

The day has finally arrived! It's February 15, which aside from being the day after Valentine's Day, also happens to be my musiversary with Jordan. So we're throwing another Muse Party! All of my blogger buddies who signed up will be showing up with their muses or characters and sharing their love and/or hate of Valentine's Day! Let's get started!

I know I usually give Jordan the blue font when we share a post, but since love is in the air, today we're going with red.
Love is in the air? Someone call an exterminator. 
ANYWAY. For this party, I've added pictures! They were a lot of fun to make so I hope you enjoy. I apologize for how long this post will be, and for any inappropriate comments made (not by me...). Let's get to the questions!

1. Who did you bring to the party? Is he/she your Valentine or anti-Valentine?

Since it’s our party and our musiversary, I of course brought Jordan to the party.

Against my will, I should add.

That’s not true! You’re excited, admit it!

Nope. Hate Valentine’s Day. Romance. Stupid. Blech.

Uh-huh. We’re the epitome of anti-Valentines in case that wasn’t painfully obvious. I think listing all of the reasons would take all day.

2. Which one of you is the more romantic person?

Uhhhh you, obviously, with your “I’ve only kissed one guy my whole life” crap. I’ve never done any romantic thing. Ever.

Yet! What about Adam?

SPOILERS. How about we get the first book done before jumping to the third one?

Don’t change the subject! You luuuuuuuuuurve him.

DO NOT. I’m only 20! That’s still a good two years away from being a thing.

Jordan and Adam sitting in a tree…

For the love of God, shut up! The only reason he even exists is to save me from YOU.

Excuse me?

Everyone thinks I’m the mean one but you basically TORTURE me in the second book. I mean, really. WRITERS.

So I give you a nice boyfriend in Book 3.

Exactly.

You’re welcome!

………

3. What gift are you giving to your (anti) Valentine?

I got you a box of chocolates! Wait, where did they go?

I may have found them earlier… *burp*

Oooook. What did you get me?

Condoms.

That’s creepy on so many levels.

No, it’s incredibly practical. You need them more than I do. At least I can’t get knocked up. No one wants to end up like my mom, Sarah! 

Riiiiiiiiiihgt. You still need them, though.

Not for everything…

4. Are you guys wearing red or pink (or black...)? 

Well, I did just buy this great pink dress, and since it’s the internet, I’m going to pretend if fits without Spanx. But black tights! Mostly because I like black tights.

Pink is pretty much the last color you will ever catch me in. I’m going with black just because. But with a pop of red, you know, to be festive.

A tie? I thought you didn’t care about this party enough to dress up.

Yeah, I’m just hoping some cute boys show up.

5. Did you bring any Valentine’s Day treats?

Don’t say it…

I made cupcakes!

You’re so predictable.

But they’re my Valentine’s Day cupcakes! I had to make them. You know you want one…

Can’t talk. Eating.

6. Name a song for our Love Playlist or Anti-Love Playlist (or both)!

I’m going to add Christina Perri’s “A Thousand Years” for the Love Playlist. Because I’ve decided it should be you and Adam’s song. Because you luuuuuuuuurve him.

You’re not allowed to watch Twilight movies anymore.

Ok, then Mr. Rock Star, what’s your anti-love song?

Hmm…so many choices. I can only pick one?

Yes.

Uhhh….I don’t think so. I choose several. I’ll do you a favor and only pick songs you have. Otherwise this could take me a week. Plus it will be easier for you to put it together for me.

I hate you.

7. Got a great anti/Valentine party game?

We could always play spin the bottle again…

After the stunt you pulled last time? I don’t think so!

Pardon me for trying to keep things interesting.

You just don’t want to have to kiss a girl.

You just don’t want to have to kiss ANYONE.

8. Feeling the love or just feeling nauseous? How will you have fun at the party?

I’m nauseous, but it’s probably from eating too many sweets…

Well, since so many people showed up to my party, I’m definitely feeling the love!

9. Has your muse been a good Valentine?

Not even a little bit.

You see? She’s so mean to me.

You didn’t let me finish! You’re the perfect anti-Valentine! And I’m just fine with that.

Can you go back to being mean? I’ll take mean over mushy any day.

Wait, where's my bonus question? Don't you want presents???

Right, because our Valentine's Day presents to each other went so well. If other people want to give us musiversary presents, that's up to them! 

Booooooooooooooooo. 

It's going to be a fun party! I can't wait to see the answers from everyone else!

I need a nap.

Remember, you can still sign up and post through the end of today! Thanks to everyone for coming to my party!!! 

It's Almost Party Time!

Happy Friday, everyone! I'm super excited for a few reasons. First off, this weekend is a three day weekend for me (my first at the new job). My fiance and I have a few errands to run (laundry, booooooo!) but we're going to try to get that out of the way early tomorrow morning so we can relax the rest of the weekend. We're going out on Saturday night and then hibernating on Valentine's Day. I plan on just making dinner at home and relaxing.

Then there's Monday! Which is of course the day for the Muse Party Blogfest: (Anti-) Valentine's Day Edition! If it is anything like the first one, it should be awesome! Since I'm always a procrastinator, I haven't quite finished all of the questions for my post yet. But I have gotten some of them done, and Jordan is being inappropriate as usual, so like with his monthly posts, I feel like I should apologize in advance.

Another thing I'm adding to my post is Bitstrips! I remember this being a huge thing on Facebook a while ago but I never got into it. While I would love to be able to draw people, I'm really just not good at it, so I Googled "cartoon maker" and this seemed like the best choice. I'm hoping to make a few comics to sprinkle in with my blogfest post, which will just make it even more awesome.

Here's a sneak preview. FYI, Jordan isn't all that excited for the party (but he kinda dressed up so I call BS). And he doesn't like hugs.

You can still sign up for the blogfest through Monday so come to the party! Find all of the details and sign up here! See you all on Monday! 

Something Clicked

I think something finally happened that I've been waiting a year and a half for. At least I hope so. And if I'm right, it could mean a lot of writing will happen in the near future.

Ever since the PitchWars fiasco, I really wanted nothing to do with my book. Didn't want to work on it, didn't want to look at it, didn't even want to think about it. Well, mostly. There was still that tiny urge somewhere in my mind that still had hope for this story and still wanted to make something of it, but it just wasn't strong enough. It was buried under mountains of self-doubt, and honestly, some doubt caused by others as well.

So I haven't done much on it during that time. I've thought about it a bit, came up with some new ideas, thought a ton about the two sequels I have in mind, but didn't actually write all that much. Maybe a line here or there (or lots of random dialogue from Book 3), but most of what I wrote down were just ideas to work on later. I just couldn't get the words out. I kept waiting for something to click, for me to just be able to snap out of it and start writing again. It just wasn't happening.

But then last Thursday night happened. Through some sort of weird process comprised mostly of watching an hour long interview on YouTube and listening to music (this will only make sense to me so I'll spare you the details), I was feeling inspired. I had this very particular feeling of anxiety, which I knew from having it before meant I wanted to write. Now, usually if I feel like writing, I will basically take whatever I can get. Doesn't matter which book it is, which characters, or even if every word is awful. I'll still take it. But the problem was I had no idea what to work on.

So instead of writing, I started reading. After listening to a particular song, it made me think of one of my chapters, so I started reading it. But once I got into it, I wanted to read the chapter before it. And I went a little crazy. I had actually forgotten how good this chapter actually was. It was actually surprising that I had written it. Despite the fact that I knew exactly what was going to happen, every moment still had my heart racing. There were particular sentences that gave me chills. It certainly wasn't as awful as I had led myself to believe.

So did this lead to actual writing? Well, sort of. I think it led to a complete change in my mindset. After I finished reading, I went back to the very first scene in the book and started tackling that. I got out two paragraphs, and while I ended up cutting one of them the next day (it just didn't seem to fit the voice), it was still something. I think the words I did actually write will work. But the main thing is that I felt different. I actually wanted to write again. I wanted to think about my story. I wanted to figure things out. I haven't felt that way in a long time.

While I haven't really had time since then to write, I'm hoping once I have a free moment the words will start flowing again. And hopefully they won't stop.

On a side note, The Muse Party Blogfest: (Anti-) Valentine's Day Edition is one week away! Sign up and bring your muse to the party!

Blog Insecurity

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click the link to learn more and sign up!

So what am I insecure about lately? You mean besides the same old, same old, right? For once I actually don't want to talk about writing, since nothing's really changed (still). I think I've completely unloaded all of my insecurities on that at this point. But one never really runs out of insecurity, do they? 

I've had quite a few blog related things on my mind lately. I definitely don't have the same momentum that I had through most of last year, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I have a lot less time now to write more posts, so I'm lucky to get one post a week out. But I'd rather be writing something that actually means something than just trying to fill space.

There are also a lot of things coming up in the near future that have me feeling a bit insecure. The A to Z Challenge is coming up way too fast and I officially signed up the other day. But I'm still not sure on my theme yet. I have a few ideas but I'm having trouble figuring out which one to use. My initial idea that I also mentioned last week was guilty pleasures. I've come up with a bunch but I don't know if I have 26 guilty pleasures, particularly one for every letter. Most of the ones I've come up with are just TV shows or junk food. I'd really like to have more of a variety of topics but I just don't know if they're there.

My second idea would actually be writing related, most likely to be called "The Revision Project." It would be kind of a way of dissecting what parts of my novel need to be fixed, sort of as a way to actually get me back on the revision track. My worries with this is that it may be too personal. I feel like some of the posts may be slightly therapeutic and I'm just not sure if people will care. Plus I'll probably be dishing out a lot of information on the book which may not keep everyone interested.

Besides all the A to Z brainstorming, I've got my own blogfest coming up in less than two weeks! I'm really excited for it but I'm worried it won't be as good as the first one. I still haven't written my post for it yet either. The signups are slowly getting up there but I don't know if they'll match the first Muse Party Blogfest. I know people will have fun with it, but I still worry that they won't.

I think what I always worry about with anything is that no one will care. Maybe that's an insecurity I need to get over.

Lost & Found: Valentine's Edition Bloghop

Today I'm taking part in the Lost & Found: Valentine's Edition Bloghop, hosted by Arlee Bird, Guilie Castillo-Oriard, Alex J Cavanaugh, Denise Covey, Yolanda Renee, and Elizabeth Seckman. We're being asked to share a story of love lost or found. I decided instead of fiction or a personal essay, to share some poetry instead. And not just one poem, but two!

While I feel these particular poems definitely need some heavy editing, if I had tried to start fixing them, I would never be done, so decided to share them as is (otherwise I'd never get this post done!). The first poem is a more personal one, and tells a story of love first found and then lost. The second is based on a piece of fiction (and actually helped me create the last two lines of my novel), and is more about love not necessarily lost, but complete. Enjoy!

Origami Roses

She knew before it happened—

there was softness in his voice

and a looming February holiday.

One day felt longer than the months before—

the careful footsteps around each other,

the coy remarks and lasting glances.

He made her the center of attention,

forced to clutch a glass vase to her chest.

Two were received every hour—

vibrant red petals and green stems,

white tags asking of her commitment.

When he appeared with the final two,

her answer was easy to give;

she knew it after getting the first.

Those roses were elegant, everlasting,

but they weren’t real.

Though he labored over every fold

with sincerity and passion,

they would always be fake.

Maybe then she would have seen the end as possible,

instead of believing his emotions

that could not last as long as these symbols.

She would have preferred real ones

to wilt quickly for her; they would have been

much easier to throw away.

Complete 

He asks if I am happy.

Happy! What a strange word.

I couldn’t begin to comprehend

what it means. Which isn’t to say

that I am sad, either. But what

is there to feel when your work is done?

When you have molded yourself for so long

and find that there are no more bits

of clay to stretch, no marks to carve.

Happy? No. What I am is complete.

All my unfinished parts sewn together

and finding their place. And the pain

was entirely necessary, to rip up

all those pieces before they could

be brought together. Now I can say

that I am my own.

But what is left, after something

is complete? What can you do,

but move on to the next thing? 

**As an added bonus, I've also realized that while the poems themselves work for the theme, the fact that I'm showing you my poems at all does as well. Because what I've also lost is my love for writing poetry. Back in college I could write a poem a day, but at some point I just wasn't able to. Maybe by sharing and eventually editing my poems, that love and ability will be able to come back.

The Good, the Bad, and the Blogfest

I thought I would throw together another fun facts post, since I had way too many things I wanted to talk about. A few things are good, some others are not (or at least aren't yet!). Oh yeah, and some kind of blogfest, or something...

The Good

- I have this weekend off! Working every other weekend instead of every single weekend ever makes my current job infinitely better than my last one.
- My fiance had jury duty yesterday and luckily didn't get picked for a jury, plus came home early and since it was my day off, we got to go out to lunch and spend some time together.
- As much as I would have loved to go to the first ever Broadwaycon this past weekend, being in New York during the snowstorm would have been a disaster! While my main reason for not going was money, I'm glad I didn't cave in and go.
- The snowstorm didn't hit us too hard here. I walk to work, so all I had to do was put on some boots. Plus while I was working, my fiance cleaned all the snow off my car <3

The Bad

- I won't be switching to earlier hours at work because something went wrong with the person they hired to take my hours. So now I have to wait until they hire another person, and it's a really long process. Guess it's still 11-7:30 for me for a while...
- I didn't get to read any blog posts on Monday since I pretty much went to bed right after work. I also procrastinated too much on Tuesday and probably didn't get to everyone's posts like I wanted to.
- The A to Z Challenge sign ups have already begun! Can you believe it? I can't! I don't know if I can participate this year. If I can come up with a theme like, within the next week or so, then I can try to write my posts ahead of time. If I can't get them all done before April, then there's just no way I'll have time to take part.
- I have had a theme idea floating around in my head but I'm not sure if I have enough ideas for every letter: guilty pleasures. I think it could be fun but I'll I've thought of so far are a few TV shows and some junk food. I don't know if I have 26 guilty pleasures at all, let alone one for every letter of the alphabet.
- There was a bomb threat made to where I work on Monday night (and is also right up the street from my apartment). Luckily it turned out to be nothing. There have been a ton of bomb threats around my state in the news lately and they need to stop!

The Blogfest

In case you missed it, I'm hosting another Muse Party Blogfest! This one is the (Anti-) Valentine's Day Edition. Whether you love Valentine's Day or hate it, if you have a muse (or a character) you can still have fun at the party! Find out all the details and sign up here!

Well, that's pretty much all that's going on right now. Writing? you may ask. What writing? There was never any writing...kidding. I have no idea! Add that one to the bad list, I suppose. But I'm trying not to dwell on it.

Has your week been good or bad? Have any guilty pleasures? Have you signed up for the Muse Party Blogfest (you should!)??

The Muse Party Blogfest: (Anti-) Valentine's Day Edition

Blow up the balloons and grab your party hats, it's time for another muse party! After two seconds of much debating, I've decided it would be fun to get all of our muses and characters together for another day of shenanigans. But this time, there's a theme!

That's right, this party is a Valentine's Day muse party! Well, sort of. While I'm sure none of us are romantically involved with our muses (that would be weird on so many levels...), we do still love them (sometimes). Whether you have a real life Valentine or not, you may love Valentine's Day or hate it. I actually can't stand it most of the time, but since this party has absolutely nothing to do with sappy romance and greeting cards, I thought it would be fun.

It just so happens that my musiversary (that's muse anniversary for those of you playing at home) with Jordan falls on the day after Valentine's Day. So he's kind of always been my anti-Valentine. This year marks our fifth musiversary, so it seemed like a great time to celebrate and throw a party! 

So it's kind of an anti-Valentine's Day party. But also a Valentine's Day party. Basically it's whatever you want it to be. We're celebrating the most nauseating of holidays along with the most dysfunctional relationships we probably have--the ones with our muses. 

All right, I'll stop rambling! The details! The Valentine's Day Muse Party Blogfest will take place on Monday, February 15. I'll be hosting the party here and you and your muse can come! On that day you can post on your blog and answer the questions I've provided. I'll be answering them, too, and visiting all the other blogs to check out your answers! 

If you don't have a muse or don't want to bring them, feel free to bring a character from one of your books (published or not!). If you came to the first party, you can bring the same muse/character or someone different. Maybe we'll get to see how much we and our muses really love each other...

Here are the questions:

1. Who did you bring to the party? Is he/she your Valentine or anti-Valentine?

2. Which one of you is the more romantic person?

3. What gift are you giving to your (anti) Valentine?

4. Are you guys wearing red or pink (or black...)? 

5. Did you bring any Valentine's Day treats? 

6. Name a song for our Love Playlist or Anti-Love Playlist (or both)! 

7. Got a great anti/Valentine party game? 

8. Feeling the love or just feeling nauseous? How will you have fun at the party?

9. Has your muse been a good Valentine? 

*Jordan's Bonus Question (feel free to ignore him...): Did you bring me & Sarah a musiversary gift? (Because we've put up with each other for five years and I think we deserve something.)

Feel free to add any other details you'd like to share! And be as pro or anti-Valentine's Day as you'd like. Or both if you and your muse differ. Sign up on the Linky List below to participate! 

Who's Up for a Party?

I had an idea recently that I've kind of been on the fence about, so I figured I'd get some opinions on it before I made a decision. Last May's Muse Party Blogfest was a lot of fun and honestly, a much bigger success than I thought it would be. At the end of last year I wanted to do a Christmas themed one, but with the new job I just didn't have the time or energy to plan it. So I figured I would just do it again in May for my next blog anniversary. But then I realized it would be hard to come up with new questions for people to answer, and that would just be boring. So having a theme would help.

Well, Valentine's Day is next month. While I actually can't stand Valentine's Day, it just so happens that my anniversary with my muse happens to be the next day. So I thought, what better time to have a muse party? You've got a holiday and an anniversary all rolled into one! While I know I would actually like to do it, I don't know if I actually should. So I've been thinking about the pros and cons:

Pros:
- Obviously, I can come up with Valentine's Day questions which would make this different from the previous muse party
- It would be on Monday the 15th and I have that day off from work so I would actually have time to do it and visit everyone else doing it
- That day is my fifth anniversary with Jordan, so another reason to celebrate (I guess...)
- I still have over a month to pimp it out and get signups!
- I have all day tomorrow off to put a post together with the questions and signup list
- My linky list subscription is still good so I wouldn't have to pay for it :D

Cons:
- Well, it would be Valentine's Day themed but actually be the day after Valentine's Day
- It also happens to be President's Day and I know some people don't blog on holidays

Well, ok, not too many cons, so it seems kind of obvious, doesn't it? I'm just not sure if it's something that people would actually want to do, so that's kind of the point of this post. Let me know if you think it's a good idea and you'd want to join in and I will definitely put this together. If not, I'll probably just take a nap.

The Year of No Resolutions

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click the link to learn more and sign up!

It's that time of year where pretty much everyone has made a list of goals they'd like to accomplish at some point during the year, or just things they'd like to do better. Usually I'm the same way (although apparently my muse despises resolutions...), but this year I'm trying something different. I'm not making any actual resolutions.

I have a few reasons for this. First, I just didn't really have any time to think about it. My full time job pretty much takes up all of my time. The 11-7:30 shift was a lot more difficult than I anticipated. I spend most of the morning just getting ready (both physically and mentally) for work, and then after work I'm exhausted. I just want to eat dinner, maybe watch some TV and then pass out. My days off are usually spent doing chores like laundry and grocery shopping. So there's not a lot of time left for anything else. Luckily I'll be switching to an earlier shift in a couple weeks (probably 6:30-3) so I think I'll be able to make better use of my spare time.

But the other reason for not making any resolutions was that I just wasn't feeling it. I feel like I make the same exact goals every year and never accomplish them. Lose weight, finish my book, publish some poems, read 100 books. It just never works out. I'm kind of tired of the disappointment.

So I thought this year I would take a different approach. I still have the same goals I've always had, but I'm trying to think of them in a different way. I don't want to push myself on too many things so that I burn out right away and give up. I want to start tackling these goals in a more realistic way. One step at a time. Maybe work an hour on UL's third draft at this point, maybe go to the gym on this day, say no to pizza and get a salad. I don't want to try to do everything at once or think too much about what needs to be done in the future. Just try to do my best one day at a time. And if I need a day to relax and do nothing, then that's ok.

I have no idea if this approach will work but I guess without making any concrete goals, even if I accomplish one tiny thing, it will be a small victory. I've just got to take everything one tiny step at a time.

How do you tackle your goals? Did you make any resolutions this year?

Jordan Takes Over: New Year's Whatever

**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**

First of all, I'd just like to point out that the last post on this blog was my post from last month, so that means Sarah is slacking off more than me. Let's all just keep that in mind the next time she yells at me.

Anyway, so it's a whole new year or something. Big freaking deal. People do the same thing every year, they say how they're going to change everything about their lives and do so much better and then two weeks later everything is back to normal. It's so lame. You know I hate lame things. What is it about a new year that makes suddenly makes people go all psycho?

I've never had a resolution. Well, mostly because I'm perfect. But that's not the point. Actually, it's really because if I want to do something, I just do it. I don't need that extra push of motivation that a new year supposedly brings. Ok, so maybe that isn't the best advice to give to everyone. Doing and getting the things you want doesn't always come easy. I'm not saying it's always easy for me, either. But sometimes trying to get those things and figuring out how to get them can be half the fun. But somehow people spend most of their time making excuses and not actually trying to do the things they want.

So let's say you've got something you want to get done. You want to read more or write more or lose weight or exercise or ask out that really hot guy in your music theory class (wait, what?). You have to ask yourself what's really stopping you from doing it and I guarantee that it's not the time of year. Like you've been telling yourself, oh, it's December, I can't start anything new in December. Well, why the hell not???? You just wasted a whole month where you could have been doing that thing you want to do! So you're still not writing and you're still fat and you're still not getting laid.

You know what else is super phony? The whole new year's motivation never lasts. Sure, you may have a few weeks where you'll actually feel productive and you really think it's gonna last forever, but it'll wear off. So why do people pretend that every new year is suddenly going to be different from all the previous ones?

This is what I want you to do. Stop giving a crap about what time of year it is. I'm serious. No lame excuses. If you want to do something, just do it already. If you need to think think about why it's so difficult for you to motivate yourself, then do that first. But stop relying on the beginning of the year to motivate you. January is sick of your bullshit.

JP

Jordan Takes Over: Too Much to Deal With

**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**

So it's kind of been a ghost town over here lately. I've seen tumbleweeds, I swear. We're basically pulling off the bare minimum here--IWSG last week and my post today (because those are requirements!), but I can't really promise anything else. It's really a day by day thing at this point. Look, it's hard enough to come up with blog posts when you don't have any ideas, but then when you add on having no time to come up with said ideas, it gets even harder. I know what you're going to say, "But Jordan, helping with ideas is your department, why aren't you helping???" To which I would say, be quiet.

I didn't even really want to post this month but my birthday is next week and how else was I going to get all of you to wish me a happy birthday?? (I'll wait). We were actually thinking a while back of having a Christmas themed Muse Party Blogfest next week but with the whole new job thing, there just wasn't any time to plan it. So we'll probably have another one for the blog anniversary at the end of May. See? That's plenty of time. So we should start planning now...

People always complain about having no time. It probably gets more blame than your muses when you aren't able to write (which is hard to believe because you blame us for everything). There are always things in life that you have to do, and they usually push aside the things that you want to do. Time management can be a bitch. And if you've got way too much going on, you may miss what's going on around you.

I've got a perfect example! This year is the big 2-0 for me (thank God, felt like I was going to have to be a teenager forever!), and Book 2 takes place a few months after I turn 20. And there is a lot going on in that book. Seriously, if you think I have it easy, you are so wrong. I'm very busy. So let's break this down:

First of all, there's the basics: I'm in college full time and have a part time job on top of that. I have my band, so there's gigs, rehearsing, trying to write new songs. My mom is getting married (lame) and I'm supposed to give her away (so lame), so there's that. She's also getting rid of our apartment (pretending that she actually lived there in the first place) so I need to find a new place to live. THEN. I get contacted by a family member who I've never met (SPOILERS!) so that complicates things a lot. And on top of all of this, because I'm an idiot, apparently (don't quote me on that), I decide to throw a new boyfriend on top of all this mess.

So what happens when you have too much on your plate? Well, for me, it's that I'm too busy to notice that my boyfriend gets progressively more abusive until it is waaaaaaaaaaaay too late, but we won't get into that. For most normal people, it will probably lead to some kind of nervous breakdown. You may just hide in your bed for a week (which isn't always a bad thing). But chances are, you're definitely not going to have time to do the things you want to do.

So it may be quiet around here for a little while until things get sorted out. But don't worry, I'll still pop in every now and then to make it a little loud.

JP

When Does the Writing Start?

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I haven't been doing much blogging lately since I started my new job. Adjusting has been a lot harder than I anticipated. Mostly because I'm exhausted all of the time. I pretty much work all day, come home, eat something, then maybe watch a little TV before passing out. I hardly even turn on my computer unless I have a day off. I haven't quite figured out how to utilize my mornings better, since I don't start work until 11. Even when I get up early it doesn't feel like enough time to be really productive. 

But I didn't want to talk about work for this whole post. I wanted to talk about writing. Or lack thereof. I know I wasn't exactly writing much before I started the job, but I feel like I'm waiting around for the inspiration to strike. I know I have to actually try write before anything happens, and that I probably need the time and mental capacity to do so, which I just don't have at this point. 

But the fact that I'm not writing, and haven't in a long time, really makes me sad. I really want to write, but it's like the longer I don't do it, the harder it is to start up again. I feel like I just need some time, even just an hour or two, to sit down with no distractions and just force the words out. Even if they come out horribly, even if they have nothing to do with the piece I should be working on, at least it would be something. And then hopefully I can keep moving forward from there. 

I actually have this whole weekend off so I'm thinking it may be a good time to start. Just to write something. Anything at all. 

How do you start writing again after taking a (ridiculously long) break? How do you find time to write when there is no time?

Adjusting

I'm behind on a lot of things. The dishes are piling up to an obscene amount. I'm ridiculously behind on all of my TV shows (I also watch way too many TV shows). I was supposed to blog on Monday but that didn't happen. Don't even ask about writing. I know, I wasn't really writing before, but now I don't have the time or the brain capacity to do so. But at least I have a good reason.

I started my new job last week and it is exhausting. I wouldn't necessarily say it's more physically demanding than my previous job, it's just that my body isn't used to working this hard anymore. After work every day my feet and my back hurt so much that once I lay down it's hard to get back up again. The very first night I actually went to bed at 8:30. Luckily since then it hasn't been as bad but it's still a lot to get used to.

So there's a lot of adjusting to do. I'm still getting used to the whole working thing. I think once I adjust to the schedule and (hopefully) overcome the exhaustion, maybe I can get back into a routine with all of my other stuff. I just don't want to push myself too hard just yet. I don't want to force out a blog post if I don't have any ideas and don't really have the time to do it. So I'm thinking my posting will be a little sporadic for a while. If I come up with some good ideas I'll definitely try to post. Or even better, if I have some writing progress to report. But for now I'm just going to take it easy.

Luckily I have today off so I'm mostly going to try to catch up on the dishes and TV, and maybe try to squeeze in a little writing. I do have to work tomorrow though (boooooooo!) so I hope everyone else has a good Thanksgiving!

When Vagueness Goes Wrong

When we choose to be vague about something that we write, it always leaves things open to interpretation. Maybe that's what you want, and maybe it isn't. People may be able to figure out what you actually meant, they may just stare at it scratching their heads, or they may take it in the entirely wrong direction.

Ok, that paragraph may seem a little vague in itself. Usually you have to have a really good reason for being vague. It most likely shouldn't turn up in your fiction, unless, for instance, if your character is doing it on purpose. It's perfectly fine to confuse other characters but confusing the reader may be a bad choice. If the reader isn't in on it, or if you don't give an explanation for being vague, it may just make things confusing.

But there are times where you may need to be vague, but that can also go wrong. Take my blog post on Monday, for instance. When I was talking about my idea for a weird scene, I decided to be vague about what it was actually about. This was pretty much for one reason: censorship. Well, ok, spoilers, too, but that was more about who was involved in the scene rather than what. I didn't want to say what was happening because I figured it would make some people uncomfortable. While I'm totally fine with adult content in my books, my blog probably isn't the place for it. So I figured vagueness was the way to go. And that's where I went horribly wrong.

This is where vagueness can get you into trouble. I mentioned that my weird scene involved a character texting a family member while "something else" was going in. Now, I was totally fine with people having absolutely no idea what I was talking about. The point of the post was to talk about the idea of writing weird scenes, not about explaining what this weird scene was about. But at some point during the day I had a slap-myself-in-the-face kind of revelation.

I felt like people assumed I meant my scene was taking place in a bathroom, to which I would say, EW! Really, I'm open to writing about most things, and I've certainly written scenes that take place in a bathroom, but never involving the most common things one would do in there. Because, like I said before, EW! I can't imagine a scenario in one of my stories where that would be necessary. Some things are better left unsaid, really. As far as I'm concerned, my characters don't go to the bathroom. What I meant was that something sexual was happening, but I just didn't want to say it (because fiction-writing me is a lot braver than blog-writing me).

But maybe I'm wrong and people actually understood what I meant. Some of the comments were vague as well so I have no idea what my readers were actually thinking. Maybe I just overthink things waaaaaaaaaaay too much (what else is new?). But I'm also thinking bigger picture here. When you purposely try to be vague, you leave whatever you are saying up to interpretation. So readers can take it whatever way seems reasonable to them. If you're fine with people being clueless, that's one thing, but they could also take whatever you're saying in the entirely wrong direction. So we have think if being vague is really worth all the trouble.

Have you ever written anything vague? Did people take it the wrong way?

Embrace the Weird

Before I get to the actual post, I'd just like to thank everyone for their well wishes last week on my job hunt. I have good news! I got the full time job that I applied for!!! I have orientation next Monday and then start the next day. It's the 11-7:30 shift that I talked about, and I get every other weekend off, so I don't think this will cut into my blogging time. I think I will be taking next week off blogging, though, just to get situated (and work through all of the anxiety...). I'll probably still post this Wednesday (or Friday...or both...) but if not I will be back on the 23rd!

But anyway, onto writing stuff!

I recently had an idea for a scene, and I thought it was a little weird. Ok, technically, it was just part of a scene--the very end, actually, and it was in Book 3. I know, I'm getting way ahead of myself but I just can't help it. But I figure by the time I get around to actually writing the book, I'll probably have it completely figured out and that will make it easier to write.

About this weird moment--well, I don't think I should share the details because it's a bit inappropriate. Let's just say it involves a character texting a family member while...something else is going on. Hopefully you get it. If not, it doesn't really matter. What matters is that my first response to this idea was, "It's too weird! No one would actually do that!" But at the same time, it kind of felt right for the character. It was weirdly bizarre, but in a fascinating and entertaining sort of way.

So what do I do with this scene? Forget it or just go with it?

My initial response was just to forget about it. A million different thoughts cross my mind all the time when it comes to these stories, but I don't always use all of them. But the more I thought about it, the more I liked this moment, not in spite of its weirdness but because of it. Sometimes people do weird things, and those things are usually more entertaining than the normal, boring, or everyday moments that are more likely to occur. So if it's weird, but still believable, why not use it?

What really made sense was that the moment felt right for the character. It actually seems like something he would do. There's actually a scene in the first book that has the same kind of weirdness (it involves lemon bars...I won't get into it...), and I really love that scene. It works in the moment. And if something works, then there really isn't any reason to get rid of it.

The thing about weird scenes is that they definitely won't always work. They have to fit the story, the characters, even the particular scene that they're in. Yes, these moments can seem strange, but they also have to be believable. But if your only reason for not using a particularly weird idea is just because it's weird, then maybe you should rethink it. Sometimes your instincts are right, and those weird scenes can turn out to be something great.

Do you ever come up with weird scenes? Do you try to make them work or get rid of them?

Rambling Insecurity

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click the link to learn more and sign up!

Like with most of my blog posts lately, I have no idea what to write about. Sometimes it just feels like my brain has stopped working. Or sometimes I feel like every idea I come up with is something I've written about before (I couldn't even tell you how many times I've written a post about not having ideas).

Which isn't to say I'm not incredibly insecure. I've just probably already mentioned all of my insecurities several times before. I still haven't actually written anything for quite some time. I keep trying to motivate myself to just write something, even if it's something silly or pointless or short or poorly written. Just something.

I'm hoping things may actually get easier once I have a real job again, which will hopefully be soon. I had not one, but two job interviews on Monday (the insecurity over that could take an entire post). I applied for a full time position, but by the time they called me they only had part time, but I interviewed anyway. Only yesterday I got another call that the full time is available again, so I'm hoping I get that. It would be an 11-7:30 shift, which I would love since my last job sometimes had me working until 1 or 2 in the morning. Plus that still gives me plenty of time in the morning to blog, which I was afraid I'd have to cut back on if I worked full time again.

But anyway, my real point is that if I have an actual full time job, then all of my free time can be exactly that: free. I can do whatever I want. I don't have to worry about having to spend every second trying to make money just to pay my bills. So I will actually have more time to write.

I don't know yet if I should say my time trying to break into freelance work was a failure or not. Maybe it's just not what I really want to do. So maybe it's a better idea just to have a regular job and work on what I really want to write in my spare time. Then maybe some day I can make enough money to only do that (if I'm really really lucky).

But I think for now I just have to take it one step at a time. I'm pretty sure I've said that before.

Jordan Takes Over: Be a Rock Star

**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**

Hey, guess what! Sarah has a job interview this morning so I get to take over! Oh wait, I was going to do that anyway...yeah, yeah, first Monday, blah blah blah. Hey, SHUT UP. Trust me, you don't want to make fun of me, because then you'll end up on my bad side and that is not a place you want to be.

Anyway. Most people have a thing. You know, that thing that you're really good and that you actually love to do. I'm sure for most people reading this, writing is your thing. For me, it's music. You may know what your thing is the second you're born or it may take several years to figure out. And if you're really really lucky, you can find a job that involves your thing. But even if you can't, you should never let that passion take a backseat, or even worse, slip away.

Luckily for me, I will only have two jobs in my lifetime. I started working at a music shop when I was in high school (selling instruments, maybe giving voice lessons...we're still working out the details...writers...ugh). Second job: rock star. You think I'm kidding, don't you? Just wait until you see all my future Grammys. So both of my jobs involve the thing I'm passionate about (one slightly more successfully than the other, but you get the idea).

But it wasn't always going to be this way. I'm not usually one to give up control in any situation, but when it comes to this Book 3 nonsense, I had zero say in the initial plot line. But that's not the issue here. Before the idea for this book came about, we didn't have any idea how or even if my books would end. But all of the ideas never involved me actually becoming a rock star, which is just plain stupid. I mean, come on, you've got a fictional character who should be a rock star, then you make them one. Right?

Which leads me to the bigger picture here. If you've got this thing, this passion, then you should be utilizing it to the best of your ability. Now, maybe everyone out there isn't lucky enough to become a rock star or a bestselling author. Maybe that's not even what you want. But whatever it is that you want to do, you should be doing. Don't let it take a backseat to stupid life--you know, stupid jobs, stupid relationships, stupid everything. Even if you just have a few minutes every day to work on that thing that you're passionate about, you should be doing it.

So do your thing. Be a rock star. Don't let your whole life be one boring mess.

JP

The Listing Hop

To celebrate eight years of blogging, Bish Denham is hosting a blog hop! All we have to do is make a list. Well, I love making lists, so I hopped right on board with this one. Happy blogiversary, Bish!!

Ok, while I really do love making lists (writing this blog post is on the top of today's to-do list!), it took me forever to come up with something for the hop. I just wanted it to actually be interesting and possibly writing related. Last week I talked about how I was thinking about some scenes from Book 3 and how if those particular scenes were inspiring me the most, it was ok to work on them, even if Book 3 isn't my main focus. Since it's almost November, for a split second I thought, "hey, why don't I try to write Book 3 for NaNoWriMo?" and then immediately realized what a horrible idea that was. So, here they are:

Reasons Why I Should Not Try to Write Book 3 for NaNoWriMo

• I haven't outlined Book 3 yet (I know, I don't outline, but for the sequels I'm trying to get ahead and be organized about it)
• I haven't written Book 2 yet 
• What I really should be working on is the third draft of Book 1 (yeah, yeah...)
• There are probably a few things I need to figure out for Book 1 that will be important in Book 3
• Ok, probably Book 2, too
• I have zero understanding of how the music industry works and since that's the subplot of Book 3, I should probably do a lot of research first
• I still haven't come up with a name for Jordan's band (!)
• Most of my characters don't have last names yet: Eric (ERIC! He's been around forever and I haven't given him a last name! Shame!), Adam, Ben, ok, pretty much everyone...
• I still need to change Joe's first name. Can't commit to a new one. (It may be Max. Maybe. Possibly.) 
• Ben's wife needs a name, too. (Karen? I don't know...)
• I still have not come up with an accurate way to describe Adam's hair 
• I've got way too many characters who feel like popping in for just one scene and I need to figure out what else to do with them (I'm looking at you, Ethan, Paul, Emma, Anthony, Allison, Abby, Ben)
• Utilizing said characters will make this the longest novel ever
• Actually, I probably need to write Emma's side book first, too
• At this point the plot is comprised of just a whole lot of sex scenes and I need to tone it down (they can't ALL be so important that I can't skip over them but try telling that to my brain right now)
• There's just no way I'll have time to write a whole novel in a month
• I've never ever won NaNo and I don't think it will happen this time, either
• I'm crazy, but not that crazy

All right, I'm done. I didn't think I actually had that many reasons. So yeah, not happening. Hope everyone tackling NaNo does not have a list like this!!

A Commitment on Top of a Commitment (on Top of Another Commitment...)

This post has ZERO to do with writing. Except for the fact that I'm writing it. That still counts, right?

I've been engaged for almost two years. Whenever you tell someone you're engaged, the immediate response is, "SO WHEN'S THE WEDDING?" which I actually find super annoying. I have no idea when I'm getting married. So why do I have to feel so awkward telling people that? Why does it even matter? I can't exactly tell people "well, I don't have any money for a wedding but I don't really just want to run to the courthouse for a marriage license either." On the other hand, I'm kind of getting sick of not being married, too. So where's the compromise?

I think I've always known that I wouldn't want a big wedding, and not just because I can't afford it. I'm a very introverted person and I hate being the center of attention. And being a bride is pretty much the epitome of being the center of attention. I really don't have that many friends and there's a lot of drama with my family, so I feel like having a big wedding would be more hassle than it's worth.

So I've been trying to figure out forever what kind of wedding I want. It hit me when my fiance and I were talking about going back to Las Vegas. We went last year and he had been once before and we both love it there. We've been wanting to go back for a while and we've often joked about getting married there (because that's what you do, right?). But then I started to take the idea seriously. It felt like a good compromise--having an actual wedding ceremony but not having it be a huge deal. I'd say we're 90% on board with the idea but we haven't actually said "this is what we're going to do."

http://bit.ly/1W40q2p

Well, it may be time for a commitment. I figured if we did get married in Vegas I would want a short dress and I found one online that I really liked. It was relatively cheap but I figured I would hold off until we made a decision. Well, I just looked at the dress again and right now it's on sale for $99.99. Holy crap. If I want this dress, I should definitely buy it now. But it's not just the dress. I have to commit to the whole thing.

If I buy this particular dress, it means the Vegas wedding is definitely happening. I do love the dress but I can't picture actually wearing it anywhere else. If I wait, the price could go back up or even worse, they may run out and I'll have to find something new. On top of that, I really really really want to lose a lot of weight before I get married. So I have to figure out what size to order. If I get a size that's too small for me right now then I absolutely HAVE to lose weight in order to fit into it. But if I get a size that does fit me now that means I can't lose any weight at all (which I would hate).

So committing to a dress is way more than committing to a dress. I have to commit to actually cracking down and losing weight. And I have to put my foot down and say this is the kind of wedding I want and I don't care what anyone else thinks. Oddly enough, I think the actual commitment of marriage is probably the easiest part for me to commit to. It's everything else that's complicated.

Write Anything

I'm sure a lot of writers have a specific process for working on a story. Maybe they outline before they start writing, or start at the beginning and go straight through to the end. Outlines have never really been my thing, so I've always been more of a pantser than a planner. But I think I take the pantser thing to a whole other level. Because not only do I pretty much never outline, but I don't write things in order, either.

I can honestly say the only thing I've ever worked on 100% in order from the first chapter to the last was the second draft of Uneven Lines, and that was a half edit/half rewrite. So really I've never written anything from start to finish. Why? I usually work on whichever part is inspiring me the most. Especially with a first draft, there will usually be one or two scenes that I'll keep thinking about over and over again until I actually write them down. Once they're finished, they're usually replaced by something new. It can be any part of the story, so most of the time I write out of order, but with a general idea of how things will eventually tie together.

Sometimes this strategy works, and other times it doesn't. Maybe that's why when I'm not feeling particularly inspired by anything, I don't work on anything. And not writing just seems to lead to even less inspiration, so it becomes a vicious cycle. So what do you do when you rely on that inspiration and it just isn't happening?

There are a few options. You could force yourself to work on a specific part. Maybe something you think will be easy, or just the next part of the story. Or you can just wait it out and hope for any spark of inspiration. I try to pay extra close attention to that voice of inspiration. There usually isn't a day that goes by where I'm not thinking about some aspect of my story, whether it's my main project, one of its sequels, or even just some random bit of background info on a character. I'm trying to get into the mindset of just going with the flow. No matter what part I'm thinking of, start writing.

Lately, for instance, a few scenes from Book 3 have been on my mind. When I was trying to fall asleep last night, some actual words started to pop into my head (and they weren't terrible!). So why fight it? Just because I really should be working on the first book instead? At this point I'd be thrilled to write anything, especially if it's within the universe of the story I should be working on. It would still be better than nothing.

So instead of just thinking about these other ideas, or just jotting down a note here or there, why not write a whole scene? Maybe even a whole chapter? Sure, it may be a distraction from focusing on the first book, but if I'm not actually working on it, why not take advantage of the inspiration? I've let it slip away way too many times to just not write anything. I think it would be better to write something unnecessary than to not write anything at all.

Do you write things in order? What do you do when a different project is distracting you from your main one?

Where We Want to Be

Everybody has goals, whether they're writing related or not. Some may be easier to achieve than others. When it comes to writing goals, you probably have big ones--like become a bestselling author, or writing x many books--and some smaller, more short term ones--like get to a certain word count or finish the next chapter. Even the smallest goal can be daunting if it isn't coming easily to you. So how do we know we're on the right path? How do we get where we want to be?

If you're constantly changing your goals or adding new ones, you may never be 100% done, which is a good thing. If we were completely done with our writing, well, we wouldn't be writers anymore. As long as you have new goals or ideas, you'll never really stop. But at the same time, you do actually want to achieve your goals. We all want to finish the book we're working on and get it published, then maybe we'll write a sequel or start a whole new idea. The possibilities for new goals are endless, but the first step is to finish the goals you've already made.

Figuring out how to achieve these goals can be tricky. I know for me, just trying to edit my novel is difficult right now. For some it may be getting the first draft done, others figuring out how to get published. We each have our own separate goals to work on, and they can be as diverse as the story ideas themselves. It helps to focus on one goal at a time. Yes, you may have those big, long term goals, but those are hard and take time to achieve. If you focus on one small goal at a time, you may find it a bit easier.

Or you can have different stages of goals. For instance, my main goal is to get the third draft of my novel done. It's not a huge goal, but it isn't small, either. My first smaller goal is to finish editing the first chapter. Once that's done, the next goal will be the second chapter, then the third, and so on. Some of these goals will take more time than others, depending on how much editing actually needs to be done. But for me, I think going chapter by chapter will most likely be the best way to go.

Getting to where we want to be can be a long, difficult process. It helps to have that big picture goal in mind, but to not focus too much on it. Focus on the smaller goals that are right in front of you. If you take things one step at a time, the journey may not seem so long.

Where are the Ideas?

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click the link to learn more and sign up!

I'm not entirely sure I have any new insecurities to share. A whole lot of the same old ones I've been talking about for months and months, but nothing new. So I guess that's good? I pretty much took September off blogging (only wrote 4 posts) so I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. Blogging was always the thing that came the easiest even when every other aspect of writing seemed impossible, so when I was struggling to even come up with one blog post, I wasn't sure what to do. 

I guess the blogging thing is part of a bigger insecurity, which I know I've already talked about a million times, but it constantly bothers me. I never seem to get ideas anymore. I used to get them all the time. Now, I'm not asking for a new novel idea every day, but maybe a poem here and there. Maybe less writer's block with the blog posts. I feel like my editing ideas for my novel have even slowed down. That may have something to do with the fact that I'm not actually editing, but still, where are the ideas?

I miss the excitement of getting a new idea and planning it out. The last time I felt that was when I came up with the third book idea for my series, and that was in March. And I still haven't really written any of it (let's not even talk about books 1 and 2). I just feel creatively drained. I know there are things I could do to fix it. I should be reading more. I should be trying to actually edit Book 1 or at least looking at it every day to figure things out. But I'm still avoiding it. 

So maybe I should make small goals for myself. Read for a half hour every day. Just look at part of my novel, whatever part is at the front of my mind, and maybe I'll be able to rewrite. Stop watching so much TV and just listen to some music for inspiration. Maybe if I try to feed that creativity, the ideas will start flowing again. 

How do you get ideas? What do you do to jump start your creativity? 

Jordan Takes Over: Own It

**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**

Can you believe it's been two months since I last posted? I know, you missed me terribly. We'll have grief counseling later on today. Ok, not really. But anyway, September apparently was the anti-blogging month around here so I just went with it and took a nap.

Today, however, I have a great topic to talk about. Brace yourselves. It's all about accepting your story for what it is and not trying to change it for the wrong reasons. Which I guess could be said about a lot of things in life, but I don't have all day and what do I look like to you, some kind of life coach? Please. 

Where was I? Oh, right. STORIES. So for whatever reason, you wrote a story. It can be any kind of story. And you can have whatever kind of reasons for writing it. Maybe it's something you worked really hard to come up with, or maybe it's just some random idea that popped into your head and you have no idea why. Whatever the story and whatever the reason, once you have that story, it's important to stay true to it.

I'm not saying that you won't change things once it's written, because you will. LOTS. Some things have to change. Scenes can be cut, rearranged, or just rewritten. You can add new things in, change characters around. There are a million things. But at its core, the story you're trying to write shouldn't really change.

What I'm trying to say is that whatever kind of story you're writing, own it. If it's a trashy romance, make it trashy. If it's an elaborate fantasy, make it elaborate. And if it's controversial, own that, too. Don't try watering it down just because you feel you have to (I'm not talking about anyone in particular here or anything. Nope nope nope.). Yes, it may be hard and most of the world will be against you, but there are people out there who will jump all over that sort of thing. If your story speaks to you, then there will be other people out there who will get it, too. So let your story be what it needs to be.

If you're trying to change your story not because you really feel it needs to be changed, but because you're trying to please everyone, then you're just a big sellout. Whether you chose this story or it chose you, there's a reason you're writing it, so stick with it. It's your story, so own it.

JP