Nobody Will Like It

**My theme for this year's A to Z Challenge is THE REVISION PROJECT. Topics I come across while I write the third draft of my novel, Uneven Lines.**

It’s not exactly something that comes up in everyday conversation, especially with my friends, who were just your typical dudes. And honestly, I had no idea how anyone would take it. My friends, my mom, or any of the countless people who thought they knew me but really didn’t know anything. 

It's pretty much impossible for everyone to like every book. Even if most people agree that a book is good, there are still going to be people who give it 1 star reviews. You just can't please everyone. But I'm sure most writers worry that they won't be able to please anyone. What if there is just not a single person out there who will like your book? What if everyone will hate it? 

This is one of the things that has seriously slowed down my writing (you know, besides the not being able to figure things out part). I constantly worry that people won't just not like it, but they'll hate it. They'll wonder why I wasted my time writing something so awful. They'll think I should quit writing altogether. 

I know that thinking is pretty extreme, but my book isn't exactly tame. People are going to find reasons to dislike it, but I can't change the story to try to please those people. But there are just so many elements that worry me. I worry that no one will like the voice, or the swears, or the sexual references. No one will like Jordan or the fact that he's a manipulative little bastard. No one will like that I'm a straight girl writing about gay characters. No one will like the age difference between my characters. No one will like that one of my characters is an ephebophile. No one will like any single thing that any character says, does, or thinks. 

*Phew* Ok, now that I've gotten that out...actually, I have no idea. I can't really erase those doubts until I actually publish it and have a few readers who do like it. And that doesn't mean that they won't be gone completely because I'm sure that there will still be people who hate it. I just wish (and maybe naively so) that the people who would hate it wouldn't read it in the first place. Or maybe someone with a completely open mind who gave it every possible chance and for whatever reason just didn't like it, well, that would be understandable. And better than someone who just hates it before they even start reading. 

Do you ever worry that no one will like your writing? 

Madison, or, The Magically Appearing Minor Character!

**My theme for this year's A to Z Challenge is THE REVISION PROJECT. Topics I come across while I write the third draft of my novel, Uneven Lines.**

There were plenty of things I could have said. No thanks, I like boys. Sorry, I’m just afraid that you’re diseased. No, really, I’m flattered, you’re just really annoying. What came out of my mouth was, “Fine. Come on.” She grinned as I took her hand. 

Sometimes you have characters who cause trouble. Wait, haven't I written about this before? I guess all of my characters cause trouble. But sometimes you come up with a character who didn't even seem necessary to the story, just shows up in the middle, throws everyone off, then walks away. And the mess they leave shouldn't work, but it does, and you're the one picking up all the pieces.

I can't even think of an accurate name for this type of character, so for now we'll call her Madison. Well, because that's her name in UL. But I'm sure a lot of you have had a Madison every now and then. The issue is whether or not she's even necessary, and if she is, is there a way to make her more prominent in the story?

Let me break this down without being too spoilerific (I hope). Madison doesn't show up in UL until Chapter 17. There has never been any mention of her whatsoever. Jordan goes to his friend Brian's birthday party and she just happens to be there. Seems ok, right? But the thing about Madison is that she's tied to things that happened long before the story even began. Madison is best friends with Kristen, who just so happens to be the last girl Jordan went out with before deciding to end all that nonsense. Now, Madison and Kristen are the biggest frenemies you've ever known. So a just about perfect way of hurting Kristen would be to hook up with the guy that dumped her and left her a little obsessed.

I know what you're going to say. "Uh, Sarah...don't know if you knew this, but...Jordan is gay." Shhhhhhh. Teenagers can get it up for pretty much anything and it works in the scene, trust me! That's not the point! Because he doesn't go through with it, obviously, and not just because she's a girl. Because he has feelings for someone else. Which leads to an entire other fiasco but that will come up in a later post. But without his interaction with Madison, certain things that happen in the main plot never would have happened at all.

Also, the whole Madison thing fuels the subplot on a huge level. Brian gets really pissed at Jordan for the whole mess, Jordan decides he needs to pretty much destroy Brian's life, blah blah blah. So she has a purpose. The thing I worry about is the fact that she just shows up out of nowhere, messes everything up, and then disappears. Is that a weird thing to do? Will the reader be thinking, "who the hell is this chick?"

I'm trying to work her in more and more in the third draft. She's lurking in the first chapter when we catch Kristen staring at Jordan, and then she whispers to the girl sitting next to her. Madison also happens to be the girl Eric has had a crush on the whole time even though he doesn't tell anyone until after all the nonsense happens. And I think she can show up again later on as Jordan is scheming against Brian. He sees her as someone who could help because she's just as sneaky and crafty as him.

So is it ok if characters just show up out of nowhere? Or is it better to subtly weave them throughout the story so that they don't shock the reader and throw things off?

Do you have your own version of a Madison? Do you think characters can just show up and never be seen again?

Looks & Appearances

**My theme for this year's A to Z Challenge is THE REVISION PROJECT. Topics I come across while I write the third draft of my novel, Uneven Lines.**

I was tall, pretty skinny, which apparently a lot of girls went for (don’t even get me started on how hilarious that was). Just plain old brown eyes and short, light brown hair. I guess it really had to be my face. I’ve got high cheekbones and a smile that can kill.

Have you ever thought about what your characters look like? Of course you have! We probably know every exact detail of every character's appearance. But that doesn't necessarily mean it shows up in the story. How much do the readers need to know about what your characters look like? And how often should it show up?

I know some people will argue that you don't have to describe appearances at all. While I think it's definitely easy to overdo it, having a brief description of what a character looks like will help the reader to visualize the story better. Especially if the character is important. Minor characters don't necessarily need to be so clearly defined if they aren't showing up as much. For instance, in my book, I never really describe what Jordan's friends, Eric and Brian, look like. They're only in a few chapters and since I already had to give descriptions for two characters in the first chapter, I didn't want to bog down the beginning of the book with character descriptions.

So what do you tell? And when do you tell it? I think it's better to get it out as quickly as possible. If you're introducing a character, then you probably want to describe what he looks like. If you put it off for too long, it may come off as strange to just suddenly say what he looks like halfway through the story when you've made no reference to it before. So my general philosophy is right away, or not at all. It's a lot easier when you're introducing a character we've never seen before. Jordan meets Tom for the first time at the end of Chapter One in UL, so that was a perfect time to describe what Tom looks like. For other characters, it isn't always so easy.

The hardest thing, I think, is to have a character describe himself. You'll only have this problem if you write in first person. There is rarely a time when a person will actually describe what they look like and it will sound normal. You'll have to find a way for it to come up naturally within the story. The whole "describe myself while looking in the mirror" thing has been ridiculously overdone. When I have Jordan describe himself to the reader, his thoughts are a reaction to a conversation he's having with his friends at the time. He doesn't go into a ridiculous amount of detail, either. Just a few sentences and then the story continues. I think it works for the scene and gets that description out of the way so the reader can better visualize him through the rest of the story.

You can sneak in details throughout the story as well. I felt in Jordan's initial description, I didn't fully explain what his hair looked like, because it just seemed silly and unimportant. But I figured I could sneak in some detail later on in the story when he's getting ready for a date. I'm sure most people will fuss over their hair in that type of situation, so it won't seem strange like it would have in his initial description.

It's really all about finding the right place and the right way to describe a character. You may not be able to get every single detail in at once, and that's ok. You just have to find the spots that work for your story and characters.

Do you include physical descriptions of your characters?

Kissing, Sex, & Other Naughty Things

**My theme for this year's A to Z Challenge is THE REVISION PROJECT. Topics I come across while I write the third draft of my novel, Uneven Lines.**

I flew up the stairs, banged desperately on his door. He could barely get it open when I collided into him, smothering his mouth with mine. I was breaking every rule, and I didn’t care. I didn’t want any space between our bodies.

WARNING: I may use a few naughty words in this post. Also, SPOILER ALERT. I'm totally going to talk about how far my characters' physical relationship progresses.

Time for some action! Well, at least talking about it. If you've got two characters who are romantically involved, chances are there is going to be some kind of physical interaction. Depending on your book and even the particular scene you're writing, it could be tame (a simple kiss) or extra juicy (full blown sex scene). Figuring out what your book needs or even what these scenes need can be tricky. How much do you need to show? And how many times should you show it?

Well, it all depends on your story. If you're writing erotica, then by all means, show everything. And keep doing it. If not, then you really need to choose what needs to be shown and for how long. For most of my book, it's all about kissing. Well, because it would be illegal for my characters to do anything else. It's kind of the point. Their whole relationship is centered around this sort of arrangement that only allows the physical moments to go so far.

One of my favorite kissing scenes is the first one. It doesn't happen until Chapter 8 (well, it may be 7 in the third draft since I may be cutting a chapter, but that's not the point!). I think it's always fun when a book doesn't give you that first kiss right away. You have to wait for it, just be screaming at the pages until it finally happens. Tension should build up until that point and when it finally happens, it should be a significant moment in the story. What I like about the first kiss in my story is that it's incredibly simple and short, but also a huge deal, both because of the characters' relationship and because of how long it took to actually happen.

So after the first kiss, how much physical interaction should you show? For me, there is quite a bit of it. The characters' physical relationship progresses very slowly, so my idea was to show more detail when something new happens, basically when it advances the plot (or the relationship) in some way. I can spend a whole page on a make out scene or just a sentence or two to imply that it happened. It depends how important it is.

There is one sex scene in the book, and it's in the last chapter. Well, my characters are human, and they screw up. They let things get too far. The interesting thing about it though is by the time my characters do have sex, it isn't really something either of them wants. It's more of a way out. Which is why I think I have a hard time writing it.

No matter how many times I write and rewrite the sex scene, I just can't get it right. And I don't think it's because of the physical elements. I've done my homework, everything besides actually watching porn (because EW! EWWWWW! I'd much, much rather read some erotica. Or just binge watch Looking...). No, trust me, I know what needs to happen between my two male characters. My issue is balancing the physical with the emotional. It should be a sad scene, really, but it should be sexy, too. It is a sex scene after all. But it's difficult to get that right.

I have an earlier scene that only has a handjob, but I actually like it more than the sex scene. It just works. There's passion, excitement, there's really just an energy to it. I read that scene and wonder why I can't take that energy and put it in the sex scene. Well, I know the emotions are completely different, so it can't be exactly the same. But as it is now, the sex scene just doesn't have any energy. It's completely weighed down by the emotions. And I just can't seem to get it right.

All right, I'll wrap this up before I tell you about every single tiny physical interaction my characters have throughout the book. Do I have some of it figured out? Hell yes. Do I have all of it figured out? Not even close. I guess it's just going to take some more rewriting. Lots and lots of rewriting.

How do you approach a kissing or sex scene in your writing? How do you balance the physical with the emotional?

Jerks & A-Holes

**My theme for this year's A to Z Challenge is THE REVISION PROJECT. Topics I come across while I write the third draft of my novel, Uneven Lines.**

“First, he beats you up. Then he tells the whole school you’re gay and it turns out to be true? Everyone hates him.”

Not all characters have to be good guys, or even all that likable. How else would we have villains, after all? But if you have a character who's just a complete jerk, then you probably want a reason for it.

I've recently been rewriting the first chapter of UL and as I started the second scene, I realized something: Jordan sounded way more negative than I intended. He hates everything and everyone and isn't afraid to tell you. I don't necessarily think it's the end of the world, but I think he was coming on a little too strong. He does start the book by telling you how he's been manipulating one of his teachers just for the fun of it. I can't really start it any other way, but I worry that he comes off as a jerk and no one will like him.

I think I could sum up Jordan's world view as this: "everything is terrible but I really don't give a crap." (Except replace 'crap' with a stronger word). He's usually just trying to find something that isn't going to bore him to death. The thing that I think works is that underneath his tough outer shell is actually a very vulnerable person, even though he'll never ever admit it. I guess that's what makes first person tricky in this type of situation. You're only going to get what he puts out there. To see that softer side, you'll have to read between the lines.

I think if you put a character who isn't quite as strong in Jordan's shoes, they could fall apart. I know I probably would. He has a terribly depressing home life. I've realized things about him like the fact that he's never had a birthday party or believed in Santa or anything normal children should experience. He's not necessarily struggling with his sexuality, but he's definitely hiding it. That's not an easy thing to deal with. You would probably feel bad for him, but he just won't let you. So does that work? Or does that tough exterior make him seem like a complete a-hole?

There's another character who's definitely a jerk. If my story had a bad guy (and considering the fact that Jordan is the protagonist so it's not him), it would probably be his friend, Brian. Brian is just your typical obnoxious teenager. He wants to be popular but doesn't really want to admit it. Jordan gets the impression that Brian is jealous of him, but since he never says so, how do we know it's true? Why is he such a jerk and a bully?

Maybe he has a crappy home life but doesn't tell anyone. Well, Jordan isn't exactly the kind of person to care even if Brian was the kind of person to open up about it. So do I just let the reader know what Jordan believes? That Brian is a jerk for no good reason? Do I have him ponder it for half a second, or maybe have another character (Eric, most likely) clue him in? I actually do want the reader to dislike Brian, but I also want them to believe that he could exist. If he's too over the top with his jerkiness, he may not seem all that believable.

Do you have characters who are jerks? Do you think there should be a reason behind it?

Isolation

**My theme for this year's A to Z Challenge is THE REVISION PROJECT. Topics I come across while I write the third draft of my novel, Uneven Lines.**

He expected the whole world to come crashing down on us, and still there was nothing. Everyone lived in their own little bubble, and we weren’t even worth noticing.

Every so often, amidst all the plot holes and inconsistencies and things to fix, you realize you may have gotten something right. Some element of your story that just works, even though you may not have even tried to put it there in the first place. But once you figure it out, you want to keep working on it so that one element is as perfect as it could possibly be.

I don't usually plan on putting themes or symbols into my writing, but every so often they pop up without me even trying. One of those things I think I got right in UL is this idea of isolation. And it works on a few different levels. Well, my characters have to be isolated, since they're carrying out a secret relationship. That part was always obvious. But I think my characters are even more isolated than they realize.

Even though Jordan technically lives with his mother, she is hardly ever home. He basically lives his life on his own. He has school and friends, but most of the time, he's alone. He doesn't necessarily have a problem with this, either. Tom, on the other hand, forces isolation upon himself. Besides working his job, he chooses to be completely alone, mostly because he's terrified of himself and doesn't want other people to really know him. Part of the appeal of their relationship is that only when they are with each other can they be completely 100% themselves, and also not be alone.

Setting plays a big role in this as well. The book takes place in New York City (more on setting in a later post!). I always liked this juxtaposition of having this busy, lively city all around the characters, and yet they are completely isolated from the world, both together and alone. The world getting in could ruin everything, so they have to keep it out.

But it's on the individual level where I think the isolation really works. It's sad whenever someone feels they have to hide who they are or keep the world away. But sometimes it's just out of that person's control. By the end of the novel, one character is branching out, putting himself out there more and finding his place in the world. For the other, that place may never exist. But there are always sequels...

Have you ever had an isolated character? Do you ever put themes in your stories?

Habits, Hobbies, & Other Human Traits

**My theme for this year's A to Z Challenge is THE REVISION PROJECT. Topics I come across while I write the third draft of my novel, Uneven Lines.**

Since I couldn’t go anywhere, I rolled my eyes, looking off to the side as if there was something more interesting that grabbed my attention. Really, paint drying would have been more interesting. 

Every character has different quirks that make them unique, just like real people. Someone may roll their eyes a lot, for instance, when they're annoyed (especially a teenager!). A character may have something they like to do that may pop up every now and then throughout the story. No matter who your characters are, they should have unique traits that make them feel like real people.

The way each character speaks and acts should be unique to who they are. You wouldn't want every character to be exactly the same, would you? That would probably be boring, and maybe even a little confusing. When you have two characters speaking to each other, you'll want each voice to stand out on its own.

So how do you make each character unique? Think about all the things about you that make you different from other people. Are you shy and awkward or confident and outgoing? A shy person may not speak much at all, will probably blush more easily than others, and maybe will use more "uhs" and "ums" when they speak. A more bold person may say things more directly and be willing to take more risks and try new things. Even the language a character uses makes them unique. I have one character who swears all the time (guess who!) and one who almost never does, so that when he actually does swear, it stands out and is kind of amusing.

Think about what your characters like to do. A hobby may be a fun little quirk that can fit into your story. I have one character who likes to cook, another one plays the guitar. One character just likes to go for walks, although I'm still trying to figure out what exactly that says about him. If you want to feature hobbies for characters, it really should fit into the story. If it's just there for the sake of it, it may seem strange. For instance, the cooking hobby actually plays a huge role throughout the story. But if my character did something that didn't forward the story at all, I may not want to mention it.

The ultimate goal is to make each character feel like a real, unique human being. But also to be believable and interesting, while still making sense for the story you're writing.

How do you give each character unique traits? Do your characters have any fun hobbies?

Gay Young Adult Romance Something or Other

**My theme for this year's A to Z Challenge is THE REVISION PROJECT. Topics I come across while I write the third draft of my novel, Uneven Lines.**

Well, I could have always come out of the closet. That certainly would have made for an interesting day. 

I've always had a hard time figuring out exactly what type of book UL is. It always seems to be everything it's not. Because it's young adult, but it's not. And it's kind of a romance, but it's not. And it's also gay fiction, but not. I kinda want to pitch it as literary fiction, but I feel it has all these elements that may turn off some readers who are looking for something more straightforward.

One thing I've already decided is to not try to sell this book as young adult. Yes, it's from the point of view of a fifteen-year-old. And no, it's not from some future perspective. It sounds like a fifteen-year-old's voice. But there are some pretty adult moments throughout the book. I think the only part that really completely reads young adult is the subplot concerning Jordan's friends. I also wouldn't really want young people to read it. While an adult book written from a young adult perspective may be a tough sell, I think it's the right decision for this particular book.

Then there's the romance aspect. I've always called it a "demented" romance. There's the age difference between the characters, of course. Their relationship definitely isn't straightforward by any means. And your typical romance novel usually has a happy ending. While the end of UL certainly isn't some epic tragedy, it's definitely not happy, either. So while there are some romantic elements in the book, it definitely doesn't follow your typical romance novel structure.

I think out of all the things that it's not, the label that fits the most is gay fiction. My characters are gay, after all. But I've always thought that it's an important aspect to the characters, but not the story itself. I could switch out the genders and sexuality and still have basically the same story. Obviously some details would change and the dynamic between the characters would be different, but the same basic plot line would still be there. I wouldn't change it of course, because I've been with these characters for so long that changing them to something completely different would just feel wrong.

So does the story need that label? I think it probably does. If someone had no interest in reading a story with gay characters, no matter what it was about, they would probably want that label there so they would know not to read it. Same goes for the opposite--someone who wants to read about those characters. They want to be able to find those books more easily. But is that all I get to call it? What other label fits my book? Contemporary? Something else entirely? Or do I just call it gay fiction and call it a day? If I knew I wouldn't ask so many questions. But I guess I should worry about finishing it first.

Where does my book fit in? Have you ever written a book you couldn't figure out a label for?

Family & Friends

**My theme for this year's A to Z Challenge is THE REVISION PROJECT. Topics I come across while I write the third draft of my novel, Uneven Lines.**

I couldn’t even say the easy part, even though the timing seemed perfect. We seemed to be having a moment. It might never happen again. Mom, I like boys. I just took another spoonful of ice cream. 

Everyone has a certain group of people in their lives that they're relatively close to, who they probably see every day. This group is usually made up of family and friends. If you're writing about a fictional character, chances are he or she will come across these people every now and again throughout the story. How do you fit in these characters? How do the relationships enhance the story? 

The family aspect has always been an interesting one when it comes to my book. Jordan has exactly one family member: his mother. He never comes close to mentioning any other family member because they don't exist for him. I wonder if that will be strange for the reader. I just figure at this point in his life any questions he may have had are way in the past and he just doesn't care. Why would he take the time to explain something to the reader if he doesn't care about it? 

At the same time, the relationship with his mother is a huge factor in the book. With this story, there are obviously a lot of issues regarding a person's age and maturity, and her character highlights these as well. She was actually a teenager when Jordan was born, so that helps to show this idea of having to grow up too soon. But their relationship is also very dysfunctional. She's basically never around (making Jordan's secret relationship with Tom much easier) and even does a few things that help advance the main plot. So is she a vital character? I'd say so. But there are still some things I struggle with. 

I guess, like most things that happen in the last third of the book, it's something I still haven't figured out yet. I know Jordan's mom is flawed, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I'm just trying to figure out how to make that realistic and yet interesting at the same time. I know I'm going to end the book with their relationship incredibly fractured, possibly beyond repair. I wonder if that's something readers will be ok with. While this plot line will have an ending, it definitely is not wrapped up in a pretty bow. It's messy and open-ended. Things could change in the future or they could stay the same. There's really no way of knowing (unless I write a sequel...). 

And then there are friends, of course. Jordan's friends are more part of their own subplot than the main plot. Sometimes I wonder if I need them at all, because I'm afraid their scenes seem forced. At the same time, it would feel strange without them. Doesn't everyone have friends, particularly someone in high school who also claims to be popular? Even if he doesn't like them, they should still exist. I also worry that the end of this particular subplot is too over the top. Jordan has two close friends throughout the book, one of which he becomes even closer to by the end, the other he completely destroys, all while furthering his own agenda. I guess it shows his evil side, which is an important part to his character. 

So I guess family and friends are especially important when they're showing different aspects to your main character. How does he act differently when he's with them? How do they move the story forward? As long as they're serving a purpose, then they're important characters.

Do you show family and friends in your stories? Do they help show different sides to the main character?

Evolving

**My theme for this year's A to Z Challenge is THE REVISION PROJECT. Topics I come across while I write the third draft of my novel, Uneven Lines.**

Today's post is also a tie-in for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up! 

I used to go out with girls, if you can believe it. Like, a lot. Crazy, I know. 

Most people don't stay the same over the course of their entire lives. You've probably changed a lot at this point in your life and will continue to do so as you get older. The same can be said for characters. They are supposed to be like real people after all, right? Sometimes the point of the story is for a character to evolve. But what if the characters or the story evolve without you even realizing or meaning to? 

I've noticed a ton of changes from the very first draft of UL up until now. And not just the ones I made on purpose. Because there were a lot of those (and more to come). I've noticed that not only have my characters evolved from where they started, but I've also evolved quite a bit as a writer. I guess that's just what happens when you spend over five years on the same story. 

My characters have changed quite a bit. In the very first draft, Jordan was basically a sociopath and was definitely bisexual (bwahahahaahaha...sorry, it makes me laugh). He's softened over the years (although he's still quite the manipulative little SOB) and although he's dated a few girls before the novel begins, it was just for show (there is a brief encounter with a girl about halfway through the book, but that is another post!). I know sometimes I complain about spending so long on the same story, but without that amount of time developing every single detail, I don't think he would have become the character he was supposed to be. He would have been a different person entirely.

When I first started this story, I thought it was the best thing I had ever written. It started as a short story (although it was a bit on the long side). Eventually I decided to change it into a novel, to be able to flesh out those parts that were rushed and add in more details. So the story was evolving from the very beginning. What I didn't expect was to eventually feel so differently about that first draft. Because now I hate it. 

I'm sure most people are frightened by their first drafts. They can often be a mess. Every time I look at that original story, I cringe. I can probably count on one hand the number of lines that have made it through all the drafts untouched (and they're probably all dialogue). So why did I think it was so good at the time? Maybe the answer is that it was. Maybe it was the best thing I had written up to that point. That doesn't mean it was perfect. It just means I was improving as a writer. I still had a long way to go. What was good about it wasn't necessarily the exact words on the page, but the story they told. And that was something worth working on. 

So my characters have evolved, my story's evolved, I've evolved. And I'm sure we're not done. 

Have your characters evolved as you write your stories? How have you evolved as a writer?

Dialogue

**My theme for this year's A to Z Challenge is THE REVISION PROJECT. Topics I come across while I write the third draft of my novel, Uneven Lines.**

Sometimes I hated words. There were so many better things you could do with your mouth than talk. 

You probably thought I'd share some witty snippet of dialogue, right? Well, that would have been difficult. I love dialogue. Loooooove it. Finding my favorite line of dialogue to share would have taken months. I'm a dialogue abuser. Sometimes (ok, most times), I first start out a scene by writing all the dialogue and then filling in everything that happens in between. Dialogue comes the easiest to me, especially if I'm struggling with the blank page. But why is that?

Maybe sometimes it's easier to think of what people would say rather than what they would do or think. Especially when you're only in one character's head; you can't actually say what anyone else is thinking. Only the narrator's thoughts can be told. So dialogue helps in finding out information from other characters.

My issue is usually using too much dialogue. If I write out a full page of it and try to fill in some exposition in between, there are only so many shrugs and sighs and reaction thoughts I can squeeze in until it just seems silly. So sometimes you have to cut back on the dialogue. Only show what is entirely necessary.

The weird thing about dialogue in a story is that it's kind of like real life, but it isn't. You want your dialogue to sound realistic, like it's something a real person would actually say. But at the same time, you don't want to fill your pages with the kind of boring, everyday conversations that fill most of our lives. You just want those juicy, interesting moments. You want dialogue to move the story forward. Maybe a character learns something new from another one. Maybe two characters figure out something together by talking. But they should never be talking about the weather or something that's going to put your reader to sleep.

My other issue is info dumping. There are quite a few times where my characters have to reveal something to one another. One character in particular has a secret that he first confesses in one chapter, and then as the story goes one, gives more and more details regarding this secret and how it came to be. These moments are usually filled with dialogue, and it's hard to work around it. My narrator doesn't know what's going on in the other character's head. So he can only get that information through dialogue. But sometimes I feel like it's still too much.

I guess the way to go about it is to always make sure whatever's being said is important and moves the story forward. If you can find a way to do the same thing with less dialogue or no dialogue at all, then you should probably do it.

Do you think less is more when it comes to dialogue? Or are you a dialogue abuser like me?

Controversy

**My theme for this year's A to Z Challenge is THE REVISION PROJECT. Topics I come across while I write the third draft of my novel, Uneven Lines.**

I wasn’t some vulnerable child, and he knew that, too. But to him, it was completely black and white. Anything we could possibly do would be illegal and that was that. Final answer.

Not all stories are filled with happy fluffy bunnies and rainbows and unicorns. Some stories go to a dark or scary place. A place that makes people uncomfortable. And that's ok, as long as you do it right.

There are plenty of different kinds of controversies you could throw into a novel. You could write about war, politics, race issues. It usually involves something that people have differing opinions on. Or, you could write about something that most people would agree is wrong. But if you do, will they still want to read your book?

This is something I constantly struggle with. This is why I worry that people will hate my book, because some people aren't willing to give a controversial story a chance. So how do you stick with your idea but make it something that people will actually want to read?

My book is controversial because it centers around the relationship between a 15-year-old and a 28-year-old. As much as I say that my story chose me, I have to admit this is how it started. I wanted to write about a student-teacher relationship, with no other concrete details in mind. Then a few hours later all of the characters and details hit me like a pile of bricks falling on my head. But it did still start with my own little spark of an idea.

I've always been a sucker for a forbidden romance. The problem with this one, though, is that the thing keeping them apart is the law. Most people would agree that it's controversial, and that these people shouldn't be together, no matter how strong their feelings are. They should either walk away from each other or wait until the younger person is old enough for it to be ok.

So why would someone even want to read this story? It's not like it's the first book to feature such a subject. Actually, one of my favorite novels of all time is Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. But that's a book that's incredibly well written. What if my writing isn't good enough to make such a tough subject more interesting to readers?

What I really want is to tell an interesting story. I want people to have mixed emotions when they read it. To actually want the characters to be together one moment, and then pull back and think, "wait a second, no I don't!" I'm not trying to say that I think this type of relationship is ok, even if it's very clear my narrator thinks it is. I write from the younger character's point of view, and he's actually the more manipulative person in the relationship, which I think (or hope) is different from other stories like this. I think the voice is strong. And I know there are some people who will just have no interest in reading a story like this, and that's ok. I just hope the people who are willing to give it a shot will find it, pick it up, and hopefully not put it down.

Do you ever write about controversial subjects? Do you like to read stories that feature them?

Bigger Than Me

**My theme for this year's A to Z Challenge is THE REVISION PROJECT. Topics I come across while I write the third draft of my novel, Uneven Lines.**

“You can, if you want to. It’s not a big deal.”
“It is, though. It’s a very big deal.” 

A story can feel like a big deal. Sometimes writers choose their story ideas. Other times, the stories choose them. Well, what happens if you're not the right person for that story? What if despite all of your passion and desire to write it, it's just too much for you to handle?

UL has never been the right story for me, especially at the beginning. The idea seemed to come out of nowhere and was nothing like any story I had ever thought of before. Let's start with the fact that I thought I was done writing fiction. I was way more into poetry and hadn't thought of any new story ideas for a few years when this one came along. I'd never written from a male perspective, let alone a gay teenage boy's. Swears were a rare occurrence in my writing and sexual descriptions made me squeamish. It was weird and different, and yet I had never felt so passionate about a story idea in my entire life.

Of course at this point, I've been working on it for so long that it does seem normal, but that took time (and a stubborn muse). And I still don't think I'm strong enough to write it.

Let me explain. This is the kind of story that takes guts to write, and even more guts to publish. It's not a lighthearted story and it's not one that most people are going to respond to. I've already experienced negative feedback, and more than once. First, when I workshopped the original short story version in my fiction writing class, and then when I entered the novel into Pitch Wars. And this wasn't your typical "this needs some editing" feedback. People hated it.

I know this story isn't for everyone, and I'm ok with that. But I don't have the guts for the negative feedback. I take it hard. Super hard. I'm just a sensitive person. So why on earth would I be writing a controversial story like this? I really don't know. It's just that it popped in my head one day. I really had no say in it.

So if none of this is up to me, then who is it up to? Is it crazy to believe that the universe gave me this idea because it has bigger plans in mind? What if writing this story is just the beginning? What if there are other people out there who this story will affect or help? What if it leads to more--more books, a movie deal, who knows? Why am I asking you all of these questions??

If the universe does have bigger plans, what if I'm not strong enough to pull it off? I actually believe the universe sent me a sign about this, but that happened over three years ago. What if I've taken too long? I don't like to share the details because I feel like I'll jinx it, but there were just a lot of coincidences that lined up at once. I always thought I didn't believe in coincidences, but now I'm not so sure. What happens when time runs out on my dream? I don't even know how much time I really have. What if I can't finish?

I couldn't think of a picture for this post, but I immediately thought of a song that fits! So I'm going with that. This is a live performance of "Stray Italian Greyhound" by Vienna Teng, and this song definitely rings true for my mindset when I first started writing this story. And maybe it still does.

so what do I do with this/ this stray Italian greyhound/ these inconvenient fireworks/ this ice-cream-covered screaming hyperactive thought/ god I just want to lay down/ these colors make my eyes hurt/ this feeling calls for everything that I am not

Attraction & Chemistry

**My theme for this year's A to Z Challenge is THE REVISION PROJECT. Topics I come across while I write the third draft of my novel, Uneven Lines.**

He held out the pencil to me. I reached out to take it, making sure my fingers touched his. I didn’t expect anything, but he was much quicker to react this time. He held on to the pencil for just a few seconds, with this cute little smirk on his lips. I felt my face getting hot. I yanked it out of his hand, scribbled down my reason, then handed it back to him.

One of the things I constantly worry about with my characters is if they have chemistry. Does the attraction seem real or one sided? Is it even there at all? Will anyone care?

With any story involving a romance, as normal or demented as it may be (Like mine! If you didn't already know, you will definitely come to discover over the course of this month...), your characters have to have chemistry. If there isn't a certain spark between two love interests, then no one is going to buy that they would get together. Or worse, they won't care.

So how do you pull it off? How do you make that spark happen? I think it starts with attraction. Chemistry is going to be hard to come by if your characters don't find one another attractive first. There are different ways to show this. They could just come out and say it, if they're bold enough. Or, they can think it. My book is in first person, so when my main character, Jordan, first meets his love interest, Tom, he tells the reader pretty much immediately that he finds him attractive. This could work for third person, too, especially if you allow the character's thoughts to be known. Maybe you could even find out what both characters are thinking, even if it has to take some time to shift point of view.

So you've got attraction. Now it's time for chemistry. You'll want your readers to want your characters to get together, to ache for it until it finally happens and then they're jumping for joy (my story is a bit more complicated than that, but that's a post for another day). Do the characters give in to their attraction right away or do they try to fight it? Do they flirt all the time or do they just try to avoid each other? In my case, one character is an obvious flirt, while the other tries desperately to not give in to that desire, but occasionally he can't help it. So flirting happens. There are plenty of ways to show chemistry between characters, but it's important that every time they get together, that spark is still there.

Once that chemistry is established, the events of the story may change it. When they finally get together, does that spark get stronger or diminish? Do emotions get involved and change the dynamic? Does chemistry evolve into love or hatred? The possibilities are endless.

How do you show chemistry between characters? What's the most interesting way your characters have flirted? (In the above quote, my characters were also solving a geometric proof!)

A to Z Theme Reveal

Where did March go??? If you can believe it, April is less than two weeks away and that means it will be the beginning of the A to Z Challenge! I'm starting to panic. I'm not prepared. At all.

But the good news is that I do have a theme! And today is the day where we reveal our themes for the Challenge. This year will be my third time taking part. My very first time I didn't have a theme and figuring out what to write about every day was difficult. Last year, though, I picked a theme (The Name Game!) and had all of my post ideas at least figured out before April 1. That made writing the posts soooooooo much easier. So if anyone out there is on the fence about using a theme, I would highly recommend it!

So onto the reveal! I went back and forth between a few ideas, and while I thought my guilty pleasures idea would have been fun, I just don't think I actually have 26 of them. And ultimately, I went with my gut. This is a writing blog, after all, so my theme for this year's Challenge is.....

The Revision Project

Third draft or bust! Well, ok, not really. I don't think I'll actually get the third draft of Uneven Lines done during the A to Z Challenge. That would just be crazy. What I would like to accomplish is to figure out all of the things that need figuring out. From the giant plot overhauls to the tiniest changes that need to be made. And that's where the Revision Project comes in. 

My posts will cover a wide variety of story-related topics. Stuff about characters, plot, voice, and so much more. Things that I'm trying to figure out, things I haven't figured out yet. Things that frustrate the hell out of me. While each topic will be inspired by my own novel, the posts themselves will have a more broad view so that other people will be able to follow along and relate. Some posts will be more specific than others, depending on the topic.

I haven't quite figured everything out yet. I'm usually too tired from work or being distracted by actual editing (which never happens so I've been taking full advantage of it!). Luckily there is still some time left to crack down and figure these posts out!

For this year's Challenge, I'm once again one of Stormy's Sidekicks! Because I'm a crazy person who thought she had way too much time on her hands, apparently. Also, if you anyone doing the Challenge hasn't been joining in the Twitter chats, you're missing out! They're so much fun and one of my favorite parts of the Challenge. They're Thursdays at 9PM EST and Saturdays 8AM EST. Just follow #azchat and be sure to use it in your tweets!

Well, I've got less than two weeks to figure out these posts. I should probably get on that...

Chapter One, Round Three

Don't ask me how I manage to randomly figure things out. I have no idea.

What I really should have been working on this weekend were my A to Z posts. In fact, I was planning on writing about that for this blog post, too. But something even better, something unexpected happened. I'll probably be kicking myself on April 1st for wasting a whole weekend, but in the long run, it will definitely be worth it.

So I've been feeling some inspiration brewing for a while, like a really slow coffee pot that I couldn't touch until it was full. I knew eventually something would happen, I just didn't know when, or how successful that inspiration would be.

Since I was actually off this weekend I had a lot of time to focus on some writing. While I did make a list of potential A to Z post ideas on Saturday, I knew on Sunday what I wanted to do was try writing. Actual writing. Uneven Lines third draft writing. I KNOW, RIGHT??? I don't fully understand how it happened but I'm not going to question it.

I sat down at the table with a notebook, some notes I had made for the new opening, and the 2nd draft, and just started writing. And for once, it actually worked. I started with a complete rewrite of the first scene and managed to get halfway through the first chapter. A few paragraphs from the 2nd draft managed to make the cut, but overall, it's pretty different, and I hope a lot better. But the best part is that I actually wrote something!

I've always thought of the first chapter in three parts, and yesterday I got the first part done. Once the second part is complete, the third will be the easiest because I'm not changing much from the last draft. So if I can finish the scene I'm working on right now, then the whole first chapter will be complete. And then I can keep going. I wasn't sure the third draft was ever going to happen, but it looks like things may just be starting to work out.

AND since it's Pi Day, (and it's entirely relevant!), I thought I'd share a little snippet from the first chapter (just because, ok???). This is right after Jordan meets his math tutor, Tom, and is actually one of the few details that has survived since the original short story I wrote five years ago. Enjoy (I hope...)!

             I moved aside to let him in, taking in a good eyeful while his back was turned. That’s when I noticed he was holding a round dish covered in plastic wrap.

            “Oh,” he said, following my gaze. “It’s a pie.”

            I blinked a few times. “I can see that.”

            “A pie. Get it? Pie? Like pi!”

            He didn’t laugh but by the look in his eyes he thought this was hilarious. I had no idea what to make of him. “So…you brought dessert?”

            He shrugged. “It’s just a fun little icebreaker. You don’t have to eat it now.” He held it out to me with both hands. “It’s key lime, by the way.”

            I took it and placed it on the counter, all the while staring at him with a raised eyebrow. “Where’d you get it?”

            “I made it. Where did you want to set up?”

            My bed? “Uh…living room’s fine.” I led him over to the couch, trying to calm my rapid pulse. Seriously, who was this guy? Math tutor who makes lame jokes with baked goods? But, um, hello—yummy. And I didn’t mean the pie. 

Maybe I'll get to talk about those A to Z posts on Wednesday. Or maybe I'll be so deep into editing/rewriting that I won't be able. Either way, it will be a good thing.

Jordan Takes Over (Except Not...): New Characters, New Voices

**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. Except this month. This month, he didn't feel like it. He felt like sleeping. And since I've been writing a useless thing from Adam's point of view (aka Wannabe-Muse-2), Jordan told him to do it. I have no control over these things. So fine! Take it away, Adam...**

Wait, what do I do? No one told me what to do!

Jordan is sleeping and Sarah is glaring at me. I don't think she likes me. Well, ok, that's not true. She loves me but she really wants to hate me. Is that even a thing? Like hate to love, love to hate? Love but want to hate? Never heard of that. Sarah didn't want me to take over. It was Jordan's idea. Well, because he wanted to keep sleeping. He's so cute when he's sleeping! Uh-oh, Sarah's tapping her foot now. She didn't want me to write this post because apparently I "don't have a voice yet." Mostly because "nothing will ever be published from my POV." And anything written from my POV is "complete self-indulgent cutesy crap." Or something.

I guess I could talk about writers being totally mean to their characters, but I won't (I think Jordan could handle that topic better). But lets talk about having a voice. Voice is one of those things that a character needs, whether the story is written from that character's perspective or not. Every time a character speaks, you want that person to feel real. Not every character should sound exactly the same. That would get pretty boring.

So when you are writing from a character's point of view, it's even more important for that voice to be unique. First of all, you don't want your novel to sound like a textbook. If you're using first person, you want that character's voice to actually seem like a real person is telling the story. Their choice of words should reflect who they are and how they react to what's happening to them. And if you write a new book with different characters, you'll want it to sound different.

But sometimes you've got a new character. And you haven't quite figured everything out about him. Take me, for example. I still don't have a last or middle name, eye color, or a proper description of my hair, apparently. I don't know what the big deal is, it's just hair. But anyway, I'm also lacking pretty much all of my backstory. But that's ok. New characters are never going to be 100% complete when you first think of them. It takes time to sort out all those details, figure out what will work for the character and for the story.

The same can be said for voice. It isn't going to come to you right away. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be writing. Like all of those other details, eventually it will sort itself out. Once you start writing as that character, eventually how he speaks will start to feel more natural. You'll know exactly what he'd say about a situation. The most important things you can do are to keep thinking and keep writing. And eventually those new characters won't seem so new anymore.

I'm being told this is just a one time thing, since I will "never ever be an actual muse." So I promise I'll wake Jordan up for next month's post. Mostly because I don't want Sarah to yell at me...Bye!

Fast Five Friday: Things You Covet

I haven't done a Fast Five Friday post in forever, but I saw this one on Deborah Hawkins' blog earlier today and wanted to join in (mostly because I came up with my ideas super fast)! As always, FFF is hosted by the ladies over at Cover Girls! I know I'm a little late to the party, but hey, it's still Friday, I worked all day, and my free time has been occupied because Adam is making me write something useless. No, that wasn't a typo. I'm sure Jordan is getting a nice nap during all of this. I'm getting four pages so far, so I'm not going to bitch about it...

Anyhoo, this week's Fast Five asks us to share five things we covet/ or would like to acquire. Here are mine:

1. A finished third draft of Uneven Lines
2. A book deal
3. A movie deal after the book deal
4. An apartment with more than one room
5. Hamilton tickets

Most of these are probably impossible. Especially #5. *shakes fist*

Well, I'm off. I have to be back at work at 6 am tomorrow and I'd like to get some writing done before I pass out. See you all on Monday (I hope)!!

Where's the Motivation?

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

I stayed up way too late on Sunday night to watch the Oscars, just because. Actually, I love watching awards shows, but probably not for the same reasons as most people. They always give me a little kick of motivation. I usually get some writing done, maybe even make a big editing revelation about my writing. Why? Well, I tend to dream big. I would love to write something good enough to win awards. One of my dreams is to turn my book into a screenplay. I know it's a ridiculous dream, but if it helps me to get any writing done, I can't really say it's a bad thing.

But here is my problem: even when I do feel those surges of motivation, not a lot gets done. I know a lot of my issues involve time and energy, but my biggest problem is probably motivation. I'd say it's nearly impossible to motivate myself. Of course I really want to get things done, but it feels like that part is buried under the desire to just do nothing.

It's a vicious cycle, really. Not getting any writing done leads to depression, which makes it even harder to get anything done. When I have those few moments where I actually feel the desire to write, I'm caught off guard and spend too much time just trying to figure out which part to work on. Motivation isn't something that comes easily to me, so when it actually shows up, I don't know what to do with it.

I try to do little things to motivate myself. I actually made a short, six song motivation playlist, with the goal of starting every day by listening to it. Music usually gives me a little push of motivation, as well. But I don't listen to it every day. I don't even know why. It would be so easy to do, not take too long, and worst case scenario, I get to listen to some music that I like.

I don't know why motivation is so hard for me to come by. Maybe I'm afraid of my dreams. Maybe I'm afraid of failing. Maybe I'm just afraid that everyone will hate what I write, since that's been the case more than once. So I don't know. Maybe it takes more than motivation. Once I get that motivation, I still have to commit. And I still have to work. Like everything else, I guess I'll have to take it one step at a time.

Do you struggle with motivation? What do you do to motivate yourself?

After the Party

Thanks to everyone who took part in Monday's Muse Party Blogfest, as well as those who just stopped by. Hopefully everyone had a good time with their Valentines and anti-Valentines. I know I did! It was super fun to read everyone's posts about their muses/characters.

The Muse Parties always seem very chaotic. A lot of our muses have a lot in common. For one, there is so much sarcasm and snark being thrown around that I wish I had brought some earplugs. And having that many crazy characters in one place can be dangerous. I think if these parties were real, they would end in drunken fights, random muse hookups, police involvement, and possibly the whole place burning down. While that didn't actually happen, we came pretty close. Here are just a few highlights:

- We had several awesome muses and characters show up (along with their awesome authors!), including a fairy, a Viking, and a cannibal (just don't call her that). Luckily no one was maimed or eaten.
- A lot of muses had significant others who weren't at the party so were just there for a fun time. Others wanted to flirt like crazy. I won't say which one mine was...
- I spent most of the time making sure Jordan didn’t drink any of the booze everyone else brought (so much wine!). I *should* hold off on another Muse Party until he’s 21 but I probably won’t.
- We had lots and lots of sweets and uh, roasted goat. (Yum?)
- Not everyone was too keen on wearing the dress code colors. It's all good, though. Pink isn't for everyone. "Are you saying I dressed up for nothing?" Jordan asked. "AND I could have worn gray???"
- Too many disturbing versions of spin the bottle that involved sharing drinks and all out brawls. I didn’t think I’d ever say this, but letting Jordan be in charge of spin the bottle probably would have been safer.

- Jordan somehow got frosting all over his nice black shirt (I dunno, something happened with Will Scarlet on the table for at least seven minutes), but it worked out since he got a few cool t-shirts as musiversary gifts. Hopefully everyone snagged some cupcakes before he smooshed them, though.  

- I have no idea what happened to Jordan's tie. I'm not sure I want to know. 

- Various random fires. Probably more than one magic spell. And possibly some sword fights.
- Between Valentine’s Day gifts between writers and muses, plus musiversary gifts for me and Jordan, you couldn’t see the floor by the end of the party. Nothing but wrapping paper.

I'm done with the cartoons, I swear. For now...

Thanks to everyone for making the second Muse Party Blogfest a success!

The Muse Party Blogfest: (Anti-) Valentine's Day Edition!

The day has finally arrived! It's February 15, which aside from being the day after Valentine's Day, also happens to be my musiversary with Jordan. So we're throwing another Muse Party! All of my blogger buddies who signed up will be showing up with their muses or characters and sharing their love and/or hate of Valentine's Day! Let's get started!

I know I usually give Jordan the blue font when we share a post, but since love is in the air, today we're going with red.
Love is in the air? Someone call an exterminator. 
ANYWAY. For this party, I've added pictures! They were a lot of fun to make so I hope you enjoy. I apologize for how long this post will be, and for any inappropriate comments made (not by me...). Let's get to the questions!

1. Who did you bring to the party? Is he/she your Valentine or anti-Valentine?

Since it’s our party and our musiversary, I of course brought Jordan to the party.

Against my will, I should add.

That’s not true! You’re excited, admit it!

Nope. Hate Valentine’s Day. Romance. Stupid. Blech.

Uh-huh. We’re the epitome of anti-Valentines in case that wasn’t painfully obvious. I think listing all of the reasons would take all day.

2. Which one of you is the more romantic person?

Uhhhh you, obviously, with your “I’ve only kissed one guy my whole life” crap. I’ve never done any romantic thing. Ever.

Yet! What about Adam?

SPOILERS. How about we get the first book done before jumping to the third one?

Don’t change the subject! You luuuuuuuuuurve him.

DO NOT. I’m only 20! That’s still a good two years away from being a thing.

Jordan and Adam sitting in a tree…

For the love of God, shut up! The only reason he even exists is to save me from YOU.

Excuse me?

Everyone thinks I’m the mean one but you basically TORTURE me in the second book. I mean, really. WRITERS.

So I give you a nice boyfriend in Book 3.

Exactly.

You’re welcome!

………

3. What gift are you giving to your (anti) Valentine?

I got you a box of chocolates! Wait, where did they go?

I may have found them earlier… *burp*

Oooook. What did you get me?

Condoms.

That’s creepy on so many levels.

No, it’s incredibly practical. You need them more than I do. At least I can’t get knocked up. No one wants to end up like my mom, Sarah! 

Riiiiiiiiiihgt. You still need them, though.

Not for everything…

4. Are you guys wearing red or pink (or black...)? 

Well, I did just buy this great pink dress, and since it’s the internet, I’m going to pretend if fits without Spanx. But black tights! Mostly because I like black tights.

Pink is pretty much the last color you will ever catch me in. I’m going with black just because. But with a pop of red, you know, to be festive.

A tie? I thought you didn’t care about this party enough to dress up.

Yeah, I’m just hoping some cute boys show up.

5. Did you bring any Valentine’s Day treats?

Don’t say it…

I made cupcakes!

You’re so predictable.

But they’re my Valentine’s Day cupcakes! I had to make them. You know you want one…

Can’t talk. Eating.

6. Name a song for our Love Playlist or Anti-Love Playlist (or both)!

I’m going to add Christina Perri’s “A Thousand Years” for the Love Playlist. Because I’ve decided it should be you and Adam’s song. Because you luuuuuuuuurve him.

You’re not allowed to watch Twilight movies anymore.

Ok, then Mr. Rock Star, what’s your anti-love song?

Hmm…so many choices. I can only pick one?

Yes.

Uhhh….I don’t think so. I choose several. I’ll do you a favor and only pick songs you have. Otherwise this could take me a week. Plus it will be easier for you to put it together for me.

I hate you.

7. Got a great anti/Valentine party game?

We could always play spin the bottle again…

After the stunt you pulled last time? I don’t think so!

Pardon me for trying to keep things interesting.

You just don’t want to have to kiss a girl.

You just don’t want to have to kiss ANYONE.

8. Feeling the love or just feeling nauseous? How will you have fun at the party?

I’m nauseous, but it’s probably from eating too many sweets…

Well, since so many people showed up to my party, I’m definitely feeling the love!

9. Has your muse been a good Valentine?

Not even a little bit.

You see? She’s so mean to me.

You didn’t let me finish! You’re the perfect anti-Valentine! And I’m just fine with that.

Can you go back to being mean? I’ll take mean over mushy any day.

Wait, where's my bonus question? Don't you want presents???

Right, because our Valentine's Day presents to each other went so well. If other people want to give us musiversary presents, that's up to them! 

Booooooooooooooooo. 

It's going to be a fun party! I can't wait to see the answers from everyone else!

I need a nap.

Remember, you can still sign up and post through the end of today! Thanks to everyone for coming to my party!!! 

It's Almost Party Time!

Happy Friday, everyone! I'm super excited for a few reasons. First off, this weekend is a three day weekend for me (my first at the new job). My fiance and I have a few errands to run (laundry, booooooo!) but we're going to try to get that out of the way early tomorrow morning so we can relax the rest of the weekend. We're going out on Saturday night and then hibernating on Valentine's Day. I plan on just making dinner at home and relaxing.

Then there's Monday! Which is of course the day for the Muse Party Blogfest: (Anti-) Valentine's Day Edition! If it is anything like the first one, it should be awesome! Since I'm always a procrastinator, I haven't quite finished all of the questions for my post yet. But I have gotten some of them done, and Jordan is being inappropriate as usual, so like with his monthly posts, I feel like I should apologize in advance.

Another thing I'm adding to my post is Bitstrips! I remember this being a huge thing on Facebook a while ago but I never got into it. While I would love to be able to draw people, I'm really just not good at it, so I Googled "cartoon maker" and this seemed like the best choice. I'm hoping to make a few comics to sprinkle in with my blogfest post, which will just make it even more awesome.

Here's a sneak preview. FYI, Jordan isn't all that excited for the party (but he kinda dressed up so I call BS). And he doesn't like hugs.

You can still sign up for the blogfest through Monday so come to the party! Find all of the details and sign up here! See you all on Monday! 

Something Clicked

I think something finally happened that I've been waiting a year and a half for. At least I hope so. And if I'm right, it could mean a lot of writing will happen in the near future.

Ever since the PitchWars fiasco, I really wanted nothing to do with my book. Didn't want to work on it, didn't want to look at it, didn't even want to think about it. Well, mostly. There was still that tiny urge somewhere in my mind that still had hope for this story and still wanted to make something of it, but it just wasn't strong enough. It was buried under mountains of self-doubt, and honestly, some doubt caused by others as well.

So I haven't done much on it during that time. I've thought about it a bit, came up with some new ideas, thought a ton about the two sequels I have in mind, but didn't actually write all that much. Maybe a line here or there (or lots of random dialogue from Book 3), but most of what I wrote down were just ideas to work on later. I just couldn't get the words out. I kept waiting for something to click, for me to just be able to snap out of it and start writing again. It just wasn't happening.

But then last Thursday night happened. Through some sort of weird process comprised mostly of watching an hour long interview on YouTube and listening to music (this will only make sense to me so I'll spare you the details), I was feeling inspired. I had this very particular feeling of anxiety, which I knew from having it before meant I wanted to write. Now, usually if I feel like writing, I will basically take whatever I can get. Doesn't matter which book it is, which characters, or even if every word is awful. I'll still take it. But the problem was I had no idea what to work on.

So instead of writing, I started reading. After listening to a particular song, it made me think of one of my chapters, so I started reading it. But once I got into it, I wanted to read the chapter before it. And I went a little crazy. I had actually forgotten how good this chapter actually was. It was actually surprising that I had written it. Despite the fact that I knew exactly what was going to happen, every moment still had my heart racing. There were particular sentences that gave me chills. It certainly wasn't as awful as I had led myself to believe.

So did this lead to actual writing? Well, sort of. I think it led to a complete change in my mindset. After I finished reading, I went back to the very first scene in the book and started tackling that. I got out two paragraphs, and while I ended up cutting one of them the next day (it just didn't seem to fit the voice), it was still something. I think the words I did actually write will work. But the main thing is that I felt different. I actually wanted to write again. I wanted to think about my story. I wanted to figure things out. I haven't felt that way in a long time.

While I haven't really had time since then to write, I'm hoping once I have a free moment the words will start flowing again. And hopefully they won't stop.

On a side note, The Muse Party Blogfest: (Anti-) Valentine's Day Edition is one week away! Sign up and bring your muse to the party!