Ramblin' Time

**It's the first Wednesday TUESDAY! (silly holidays) of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!**

It's one of those days where I don't know what to write about (every day??). I'm not sure if I have no ideas or too many ideas. So I apologize if this post ends up being filled with rambling. 

The IWSG Twitter Pitch is coming up aaaaaaaaaaaaaand...there's no way I'll be participating, even though I really wanted to. For multiple reasons, but the main one being, MY BOOK ISN'T DONE. Probably not a good idea to pitch a book that's not done, right? Just ask...oh, yeah, me when I tried PitchWars *shudders*. Never again. Oh, and I'm still stuck on Chapter 15 for those of you keeping score at home. I'm lucky if I can get one sentence written a day.

My other big reason for not doing the Twitter pitch is that I'm still not quite sure on what age range to pitch my book to. It's complicated. I've gone back and forth between thinking it was YA and then thinking it should be Adult, and then changing my mind again and again and again. So the book is front the point of view of a fifteen-year-old, and it does have some coming of age elements, but I'm not entirely sure this is a book should be marketed to minors. I'm also not so sure if adults would even want to read it, though. Basically, I've written an unsellable book. I don't think, "I swear it's good!" is a great selling point.

But maybe when I actually finish the thing I'll let some people read it and get their input. 

And now for something completely different...

This month's optional question is: What are your ultimate writing goals, and how have they changed over time (if at all)?

I guess my goal has always been to publish a book, so that has never changed. But I think the goals change depending on the WIP. For UL, obviously the first step would be to publish it. Then comes the movie deal, of course. Ok, not really (but maybe). Then I would want to figure out if my sequel ideas are actually worth pursuing. Aaaaaaaaand that's pretty much it. Then there's other story ideas, of course (shiny!). 

All right, I'm done rambling. For now.

Blog Post Scrambling & Title Struggling

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

So, a funny thing happened to me at work today. There I was, walking around, minding my own business, when it suddenly hit me that a) it was already Wednesday, and b) I FORGOT TO WRITE MY BLOG POST!!!! I've come close to forgetting before, but I've never actually forgotten. So now that I am home from work I am scrambling to write it, and hopefully I'll still have some time and energy to get around to some other blogs. (If not, tomorrow's my day off so I'll be playing catch up!) 

Anyhoo, since I'm scrambling, this is a perfect opportunity to utilize the IWSG's optional question of month! Which is: What's harder for you to come up with, book titles or character names? 

This is an easy one for me. BOOK TITLES. *cough* Definitely book titles. Book titles are a serious struggle for me. They can take years. Character names, on the other hand--piece of cake! Most of the time it's like I'm not even naming them at all. It's more like their names just pop into my head, like the characters are telling me the names they already have. 

Example time! When I first started writing Uneven Lines, once I figured out an idea of who the characters were, their names pretty much popped into my head instantaneously (clearly Jordan is the type of pushy character who would name himself). 

The title on the other hand, took a loooooooooooooooooong time. When it was originally a short story, it was called "Saying Yes," which did work considering some of the elements in that story. But when I started adapting, I changed a lot and that title just didn't work anymore. So it went to titleless. About two years later I came up another title, The Formula. It kinda sorta worked and I did like it but it just didn't feel good enough. It was boring. 

About eight months after that I finally settled on my current title, but not without some struggling. The words actually came to me individually. I'd always felt "Uneven" should be in the title, because that's representative of a lot of aspects of my characters' relationships. Then eventually I realized "Lines" was also a good fit, because there's actual math in the book, as well as a hell of a lot of figurative lines (like, lines being crossed in particular). And so I finally had it! And it's been over four years without a change. 

So, long story short, I struggle way more with book titles than character names. Shiny New Story is still called Shiny New Story. Pretty much all of my other book ideas are titleless, including the potential sequels for UL. But character names? Usually all I have to do is listen. 

Jordan Takes Over: It's a Trap!

**The first Monday of the month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**

I know, I know--I haven't been here in forever. It's not that I didn't want to. Well, ok, maybe I didn't want to. But, I mean, do you really want to listen to me ramble unless I have something really good to say? Real life conversations? Easy. Blog topics? Not so much.

Anyway, why did I decide to show up today? I was tricked, thank you very much. Ok, it went like this:

Sarah: Are you writing a blog post for Monday?
Me: Pass.
Well, fine. You know what? You can't write a blog post. 
Excuse me?
I'm not letting you. 
GIVE ME THAT LAPTOP.

Dammit, reverse psychology really works on me. I mean, you tell me I can't have/do something (or someone...), whooooooooaaaaaaa watch out. So now that I'm here, what do I write about?

Hold on a second, someone left a plate of cookies here! That's...suspiciously thoughtful. Well, ok, I guess Sarah knew the whole time that the reverse psychology was gonna work and I'd be here, so maybe the cookies are a peace offering. And I don't say know to dessert. I'll just have one...or ten.

Where was I? Oh, right, blogging. The thing I'm supposed to be doing right now. Listen, it's not my fault when you just drop cookies in front of me. Sugar. My only weakness.

So apparently Sarah has a staycation next week. Which apparently also means that I'm supposed to be on full time muse duty next week. FAT CHANCE. No one asked me about my schedule. I'm extremely busy. I've got...you know...gigs. Snacks. Naps. Very important stuff. Did anyone clear this with Adam? You know, he's way more organized than me. Where is he, anyway?

OOooooooooooo there's cupcakes, too! What's going on here? Some kind of dessert buffet? I mean, really, I'm not disappointed, but if Sarah had just told me there'd be dessert, then she wouldn't have had to do the whole reverse psychology thing. Well, I guess I could have grabbed the food and ran away. Ok, maybe she knows me too well.

So, right. Staycation. *sigh* A whole damn week and she expects constant writing? Yeah, when has that ever happened? Ok, when we first started writing this story, but that was like, seven years ago. When has it happened since then? Huh? NEVER. That's right. So why exactly does she think it's gonna happen now??

Wait a second. MORE DESSERT? Oh look! Pie! Ha. Ok, this is a little weird. It's like...there's too much dessert. Something's kinda off here. What kind of pie is that, anyway? Wait...is that...KEY LIME?

OH F---------

*a giant net falls* 

What the....AGGGGGGGGGGH. I knew it! The dessert buffet was a trap! This whole thing was a trap! But wait a second...who would....YOU! This is not right. You are not this crafty.
Yeah, but I've had you living in my head for seven years. It rubs off. 
That's what---
DON'T EVEN. 
Wait a second, did you do something to Adam?
He's indisposed at the moment. That way he can't distract me with Book 3 ideas and he can't distract you with his hair. 
Yeah, but, where is he?
Tied to a chair somewhere. It's ok. Muses don't need to eat.
I beg to differ.
Come on, we're gonna finish this damn novel. 
The whole thing? But there's so much work to do!
Which is exactly why you're not going anywhere! *starts dragging net*

I just want it on the record that I was tricked and KIDNAPPED and any words produced and/or edited were done against my will. Is there a muse's union? I'm calling my rep.

JP

Try Something Shiny

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

So here we are at another IWSG day...and I feel like I'm in the exact same place I've been in for the past two months. I just don't have much of a desire to work on my novel. I desperately want it to be done, but I don't want to work on it. Solid logic, right?

Anyway, I decided to change my strategy (you know, doing absolutely nothing), at least for a little while. Take the pressure off a little. So I let my mind drift to a different story. Shiny New Story, to be specific (which will get an actual title at some point). And then eventually my fingers drifted as well. As in actual writing. Real life words! Not just random ideas I punch into my phone at 3 AM. Like, paragraphs! Dialogue! Stuff happening!

I think there were a lot of factors that made it easier to work on SNS. Just because it was something different. Because it's a first draft and I can write really crappy sentences and not care. Or even care if everything is making complete sense, because I can fix it later. And the main parts I worked on were particularly suspenseful, which was a fun change. Not all of my story ideas always involve suspense, but I do really enjoy it, so it was fun to work on.

I'm not entirely certain this completely reinvigorated my desire to write. I was hoping after indulging for a while, I would eventually get back into editing UL. That still hasn't happened. But it was nice taking a little break and to actually get some writing done instead of just avoiding everything.

At least I know when I'm struggling to write/edit, I always have something shiny to distract me.

Same Old, Same Old

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

So here we are again at IWSG day aaaaaaaaaaaaand....I feel like I am in the exact same spot I was in last month. I haven't written a blog post in a month. I'm still working on Chapter 15. I have no idea why it's taking so long (I'll get into that later). According to Goodreads, I am 12 books behind my goal of 100 for the year. Last month I only read half of the books I planned on (my books made into movies category), so I plan on continuing with those books while also reading poetry books for this month. Also because I think if I'm not reading a novel I may go insane. 

Anyhoo, back to the Chapter 15 woes. This is once again a chapter I thought would only take me a day or two to edit, and now it's been over a month since I started working on it. However, in this case, it's more like I just can't motivate myself to work on it, rather than it being more difficult than I expected. It's not that difficult. I mean, editing anything has its challenges, but this isn't a chapter that needed a lot of huge changes.

There are only two scenes in this chapter. There's a lot of dialogue, and brief make out scene (don't judge me). There's some backstory for both characters, and a secret is revealed that I've been keeping for the whole book. Sometimes I worry about that secret, that by the time it's finally revealed, the reader won't actually care (since it's about a subplot, so it wasn't something that was constantly brought up).

Is any of this the reason why I can't finish this chapter? Uhhhhh....not really. Except maybe I think I've used up every way I can possibly describe a kiss.

I honestly don't know why I can't finish it. I think I'm just tired when I come home from work and I don't really want to do anything. That's a big part of it, at least. I think I need a new routine that works in writing and reading time (and hopefully some gym time, too).

So hopefully by my next IWSG post (and hopefully it's not my next blog post), I'll have at least finished this chapter. More would be nice. But I'll settle for one.

Securely Insecure (or Insecurely Secure?)

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

It happened again! I went a whole month without a blog post! Bad! I haven't even been reading other people's blogs. Double bad! I don't even really have a good excuse besides laziness (or maybe just being tired).

At the very least, I thought I'd write a post just to brag about how I managed to see all nine Best Picture nominees before the Oscars this past Sunday. Well, I guess I'm bragging about it now! It helps that I live above a movie theater and my husband's friend is in SAG and lent us some screeners (shhhhh just don't tell anyone). I really liked all nine, which is unexpected. But they were all good and deserved the nomination in my opinion. Just don't ask me to rank them! You can probably guess my heavily biased I've read the book like three or four times favorite...if you pay attention to my usual nonsense 'round here.

Anyway, I'm rambling again. On to the insecurity!

Actually, you know what? I'm not really feeling that insecure lately (besides the not blogging thing). Well, I'm not fully secure either. At last month's post time, I was still stuck on Chapter 13 of my third draft. It was definitely grueling, but I got through it! In the last draft, this chapter was 3 1/2 pages. Now it's 8 1/3! I think it came out so much better than before.

And guess what happened after that? I FINISHED CHAPTER 14, TOO!

Ok, so this isn't happening at the speed of light, but it's much faster than my usual pace. So now I'm on Chapter 15, which I haven't looked at in a couple days but once I actually sit down and do it, shouldn't take too long (yeah, yeah, we've heard that before, Sarah). I'm actually surprised at how much I've had to change as I'm writing this draft. It's a lot of new stuff.

What I am a bit insecure about is that the closer I get to the last third of the book, the more work will be needed. I basically have to completely rewrite that last third, minus a couple scenes (maybe just one, actually). I thought editing the first two thirds would be easy, and I was so, so wrong. I already know that last third will be difficult, so it'll probably turn out to be impossible. Or maybe it'll be the opposite and be surprisingly easy. I can dream, right?

Does editing ever turn out to be harder (or easier) than you expected? Did you see any of the Best Picture nominees?

Fizzling Out

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

Somehow it's February already. And despite all the motivation I had at the beginning the year, I don't really feel like I've accomplished much. It seems all that motivation fizzled out rather quickly, and I'm trying to find ways to get back on track.

So how did January go? Well, so so, I guess. I started off strong with social media, taking part in challenges on both Twitter and Instagram. About halfway through the month, I pretty much gave up on the Instagram ones. I knew I would skip days here and there if I didn't have things to post for those particular days, but at a certain point I just stopped doing it. I think it was equal parts not having good ideas for the posts and just not having the motivation to do it.

I did, however, stick with #WIPjoy on Twitter right until the end, so that was great! I've always wanted to do it and it was a lot of fun. I probably won't do it again with the same WIP, but definitely with a different one.

Reading has also been so so. I'm a little behind on keeping up with my yearly goal of 100 books. I only read 4 books in January, and only two of those books were from my "Clear the Bookshelf" theme. So, the bookshelf is still pretty full. I did finish another book today and am close to finishing my 6th, but I haven't started my February romance books yet. However! I'm at 5 books which is waaaaaaaaay ahead of any previous year's reading. I probably haven't finished 1 book in the past few Januarys, so I'll count that as a win (sort of).

Writing? Hahahahaaha. Yeah, bit of an epic fail there. I haven't gotten anything done. I still haven't finished my Chapter 13 edit. It's just turned out to be so much more complicated than I thought it would be. Which will be great once it's done. It'll be a really interesting and complex chapter, where I thought it was super simple to begin with. But...I have to actually finish it first.

The good news? I have the next four days off from work (I have waaaaay too many PTO hours and we can max out so I have to use them!) so that means lots of time for writing and reading!! Let's just hope I actually do it.

The Amazingly Difficult Chapter

Have you ever had a chapter surprise you? I've been avoiding my Chapter 13 edit for quite some time, not really knowing why. I thought it had to do with setting, one of the aspects of this book I have the most trouble with. Whenever my characters actually leave the safety of their own homes and venture out into the world, I always wonder if I'm getting it right. If mentioning locations and landmarks feels real or forced. If it would seem accurate to someone who actually lives there.

But what if that wasn't the real reason I was avoiding it? What if I didn't actually know the reason, but when I figured it out, was actually blown away? Even though it was even more difficult than I anticipated, it turned out to be a good thing.

The more I work on this story, the more I find hiding under the surface. On the surface, this chapter seems pretty basic--my characters are going on their first real "date," which ends up being at a museum. Underneath, however, are about a million different layers that I didn't even know or intend to be there. But I knew that this chapter needed even more work than I thought it did. So maybe on some subconscious level, this was why I was avoiding it.

I always knew there was a lot of symbolism in this chapter, but it seems to be even more complicated than I initially thought. This is the first real time my two characters journey out into the real world together, so there's a lot going on both internally and externally. I had to think about how they would act differently when surrounded by dozens, even hundreds of other people, when they are so used to just being by themselves. Every setting change offered different opportunities to examine that--waiting for the subway, on the train, on the street, in the museum lobby, in the Greek and Roman section, then with the European paintings, back to the street, and then back at one character's apartment at the end, to where they are once again safe. While they are awkward and silent on the subway, on the street the mood changes and they are able to talk, actually examining their past relationships with their mothers and places they've both gone with them, then by the end of the museum trip, one character has a moment of vulnerability and lets something slip that he probably shouldn't have. It's a journey that takes so many different turns that I wasn't expecting.

What I realized was that this chapter wasn't difficult--it was amazing! Well, ok, still difficult, because there is a lot to put in there. I really just thought there were only a few things to examine, but there was so much more. I found myself weaving in subplot, hinting at back story that will come into play in the next few chapters, finding ways for my characters to figure each other out.

There was so much to add in that wasn't there in the first two drafts, so I'm still working on it, of course. But I think this chapter is heading in the right direction now.

Productive! (but not actually writing...)

So one of my resolutions was to get back to blogging once a week, and well, I didn't blog on Monday like I usually would do. But hey, it's still the second week so it doesn't really matter which day I blog, now does it?

Anyway, I feel somewhat productive so far. I have been reading more than usual, just not as fast as I'd like. I picked my first book off the shelf for my Clear the Bookshelf! themed month (The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black), and I'm also reading The Weekend Novelist for the IWSG book club. I kinda hoped I'd be done with both by now and onto a few new books. Plus I promised myself I could reread Call Me By Your Name once I did (been dying to since I saw the movie a few weeks ago), but it hasn't happened. Plus there's that sexuality in Ancient Greece book I still need to look through. And I can't exactly clear the bookshelf by only reading one book that was waiting on the shelf. I'm not a crazy person or anything.

Social media! This is where I've been doing my best. I've been taking part in two (and a half-ish) challenges on Twitter and Instagram. #WIPjoy on Twitter which I've always wanted to do, but I've been very nervous about. It can be scary to share stuff about your WIP, especially when my book idea is controversial. But like I said on day one of the challenge, this is the year where I say screw it! It's fun to share different aspects about my book and to see people actually respond to it.

One of the most fun things was creating an aesthetic for Uneven Lines, which I've never done (and I've been working on it for almost 7 years!). I made it for Day 6 for WIPjoy and I'm using it again today on Instagram for #Storymakers18. It was really tricky to decide on images (plus finding free ones that I thought fit my story) but it was so much fun and I luuuuuuuuuurve it.

Now, here's the problem: I HAVEN'T DONE ANY WRITING. Oh sure, I'm spending lots of time thinking about my book, finding pictures for it, searching it for lines to share. But I haven't written a single word. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I could have edited three chapters by now! It's probably because I'm too busy doing all the other stuff. 

I think there's an upside to this. At least I'm thinking about the book all the time. I actually fell asleep last night thinking about the next scene I have to edit. So I hope if I keep it up this will lead to actual writing/editing. If I just sit my butt down with my laptop and actually start doing it. We'll see...

2018 Goals & Chrys Fey's Flaming Crimes Blogfest

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

Ok, so I don't really like making resolutions, but I just can't help myself. I suppose I would like making them if I actually accomplished them. But they tend to fizzle out. But like every year, I've made a list again of what I'd like to get done this year!

1. Write, dammit! So the real goal is to finally finish the third draft of Uneven Lines. But first, I just have to actually write. And keep writing. This book ain't gonna write itself, otherwise it'd be long done by now.

2. Read, dammit! I once again have made it a goal to read 100 books this year. I really just want to do it once and then I will never try it again, I swear. Hopefully my monthly themes will help me get this done.

3. Be more active on social media. I feel like I haven't been doing a lot lately, and that includes blogging. I want to blog once a week and post more often on Twitter and Instagram. I'm already doing some challenges this month to help me out with this.

4. Watch 100 movies I've never seen before. I can't believe I didn't get this done in 2017! But I did get closer than ever before with 87 movies. I was purging my Netflix list at the end of the year because a lot of the movies were leaving but I still didn't make it to 100. I know I can actually do this one if I just try!

And now for something completely different...

What is something ridiculous you would save if there was a fire?

Well, my cat is ridiculous, but it certainly wouldn't be ridiculous to save him! XD

Ok, so I approached this question this way: after my husband and cat are ok, and I have my wedding rings, important papers, & my flash drive (all my writings!)...what would I grab next? What's not quite so important but I still wouldn't want to leave behind?

My Playbill binder!

This has the playbill for every musical and play I've ever been to. From My Fair Lady (first live musical ever!)...

...to Hamilton!

And I probably won't be adding to it for a while because I do not have theater money right now. Is this something I couldn't live without? No. But it's not something I'd really want to lose, either! I love musicals too much!

Series: Disaster Crimes #4
Page Count: 304 
Digital Price: 4.99 
Print Price: 16.99

Rating: Spicy (PG13) 

BUY LINKS:

Amazon / Barnes & Noble

The Wild Rose Press

BLURB: Beth and Donovan are now happily married, and what Beth wants more than anything is a baby. Her dream of starting a family is put on hold as fires burn dangerously close and Donovan becomes a victim of sabotage.

Donovan escapes what could've been a deadly wreck. Their past enemies have been eliminated, so who is cutting brake lines and leaving bloody messages? He vows to find out, for the sake of the woman he loves and the life they're trying to build.

Amidst a criminal mind game, a fire ignites next to their home. They battle the flames and fight to keep their house safe from the blaze pressing in on all sides, but neither of them expects to confront a psychotic adversary in the middle of the inferno.

Their lives may just go up in flames…

About the Author: Chrys Fey is the author of the Disaster Crimes Series, a unique concept blending romance, crimes, and disasters. She’s partnered with the Insecure Writer’s Support Group and runs their Goodreads book club. She’s also an editor for Dancing Lemur Press.

Author Links:

Website / Blog / Goodreads

Facebook / Twitter / Amazon

My 2018 Reading Challenge

Man, I've been really bad at this whole blogging thing lately. I've been doing just one or two posts per month for a while now. Something I'd like to work on in the new year (also something I say every year), among other things. But something I'm really, really bad at doing is keeping up with my reading goals.

Every year I make it a goal to read 100 books. Every year I fail miserably. I know I should set my goal lower, but I would just like to actually be able to do it once, and then I could be more realistic in the future. So! I came up with an idea to help motivate me to read more.

For 2018, each month of the year will have a different theme for the books I plan on reading. There have been some books I've been wanting to read, and others I've wanted to reread for a while. So I decided to devote each month to either a certain series or a theme, which will make a whole lot more sense once I list them.

My plan for reading in 2018:

January: Clear the bookshelf!

To start off the year, I'm going to read as many books as I can that have been sitting on my bookshelf for months or even years.

February: Romance

Perfect month for it, right? I actually have no idea what books I'll read yet, but I've got a good amount of time to figure it out. Suggestions are welcome.

March: Books made into movies

The rule for this is that it has to be a movie I've already seen, but a book I haven't read.

April: Poetry

National Poetry Month! I have 6 unread poetry books already to read and will possibly buy more to bring my goal up.

May: Books made into TV shows

Pretty much the same as movie month, but with TV shows, obviously.

June: LGBT books

Pride Month! See, I thought these things out. And I've already made a deal with myself that it cannot just be the G. Stop being so predictable, self.

July: Harry Potter (reread)

I've been watching the movies way too much whenever they're on TV lately and I realized it's been quite a while since I've read the books. Been wanting to give them another read for a while now.

August: Blogger buddies' books!

Because Friendship Day is on the first Sunday of August, I'll be reading all of the books that I've bought/won from all my blogger buddies. I really have a lot of them. Some of them are really short, too. I should be able to bust out a lot this month. Yay!

September: Banned books

Banned Books Week is in September, so I thought I'd devote the whole month to banned books! Only books I haven't read before.

October & November: The Vampire Chronicles (reread)

Ok, this one needed two months because I am just not a very fast reader. I got Prince Lestat as a Christmas present I think three years ago and never read it because it had been so long since I had read the other books in the series. Since then, another book (Prince Lestat and the Realms of Atlantis) has also been released. It's 12 books altogether, and they're not short, so I'll be taking two months to tackle this goal. I was super into Anne Rice as a teenager so it should be fun to revisit her work.

December: Classics

I actually have a bunch of classic novels I've never read! But I'll probably wait to decide on all of them because I have plenty of time.

So there you have it! For most months, my goal is at least 8 books. I think August will be a lot higher to help make up for the rest of the numbers. Hopefully I can stick with it and make it to 100 books!

But first, I have some monstrous wrap up goals for December. Including:

- Finishing the books I'm already reading. THIS includes:

 - The behemoth that is Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow. I'm on page 310 of 818. (Everyone wish me their best King George "Good luck!")
- Another behemoth because I'm a lunatic, The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt. I was about 50% through this 760 page book when my Kindle decided to have a stroke and die, and I'm still waiting for my new one to arrive.
- The collected poems of Dylan Thomas. I'm about 3/4 through this and this is probably the only book I'll actually finish.

- I would also really like to reread Call Me By Your Name by Andre Aciman because I will hopefully be seeing the movie this upcoming weekend (the first showing around here is this Thursday and it sold out before I could buy tickets. I didn't cry or anything). I adore this book and it'll be my fourth read, but I can definitely bust it out in a day or two. Plus it'll probably get me writing again (bonus!).

- I would also like to peruse (probably not finish) this book I have on sexuality in Ancient Greece to help me with some symbolism in my novel. For one scene. That's commitment, people. I think.

I swear I'm done now.

What are your reading goals for 2018? Do you think I can finish all my December books? Any book suggestions for my different thems? What are your favorites?

The Year of Not a Whole Lot

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

I almost forgot to write this post! That's what I get for procrastinating. Luckily the IWSG provides an optional monthly question we can answer, which is always great when I'm in a rush and can't think of an idea. This month's question is:

As you look back on 2017, with all its successes/failures, if you could backtrack, what would you do differently?

Speaking of procrastination...

I did not get a lot done this year. Definitely not as much as I'd hoped. I really wanted to finish the third draft of Uneven Lines, actually much earlier in the year. But it looks like it's not going to happen again. There's just still so much work to do and not enough time to do it. 

I made some good progress in the beginning of the year. Not fantastic, but at least I had a steady pace going. I haven't had a good momentum since the end of July. I've only finished two chapter edits since then. There's just always something getting in the way - work, vacations, errands, a sick cat. And usually after all that I'm too tired to do much writing. 

I also just tend to avoid editing if I know it's going to be hard. I put it off. I know I just need to tackle it but it's hard to motivate myself. 

On the other hand, this novel has always been a bit of a slow process, but with some good results. It's extremely complicated and I've needed the time to figure things out. I also don't think I'd have the same story if I had gotten it done years ago when I first thought of it. I do think all the changes will make it a better story.

But still, I just want the damn thing done! I feel depressed sometimes that I'm not working on it, but then it's hard to work on it because I'm depressed and...it's a vicious cycle. 

I think if I can finish the current chapter I'm on I can bust through at least 3 or 4 more before getting to some really difficult editing. But usually even when I think a chapter will be easy, it turns out to need more work than I imagined. 

I think for next year I'd just like to do more. I'd like to spend less time doing nothing. If I can say I worked on writing every day, even if it's just for a few minutes, I'd take that as an accomplishment.

Remakes Blogfest

Today is the Remakes Blogfest, hosted by Alex J. Cavanaugh and Heather M. Gardner!

Remakes – most of them suck. Now and then, one comes along that is as good as, if not better, than the original. And after all of the bad ones we’ve endured, we want to know about some good ones.

On November 13, 2017, blog about your favorite remake: movie (or television show into movie and vice versa), song, or book – or all three! Post a YouTube video and links where we can find these treasures. Tell us why THIS remake doesn’t suck!

This was a tricky one! Because originals are *usually* better. But then I remembered a certain movie series that I've always enjoyed that are based on books...but when I tried to read said books, I was, well...disappointed...is one way of putting it...mortified is another...

JAMES BOND! Or Casino Royale, to be specific, because it's the only book I read. I will never try to read another. 

I've seen ALL the movies. My husband and I really enjoy them. We don't actually go out to the movies all that much but we always make sure to catch the new Bond films in IMAX. So, since I've always liked the movies, I thought I'd give the books a shot. 

MISTAKE! HORRIBLE MISTAKE. 

I'm sorry, but the book Casino Royale was probably the worst piece of sexist drivel I've ever laid my eyes upon. I know it was first published in 1953, but still....no, just no. Obviously, in the movies Bond is a womanizer, but in the book, he just seems like a sexist a-hole. He just wasn't likable at all, all of the charisma you usually see on screen replaced with bitter inner monologues and incredibly degrading views of women ("bitch" comes up a lot, and that's not even the worst of it). The story itself wasn't all that great, either. I really didn't expect it to be so boring. 

I think I'll stick to the movies. More action, less blatant sexism. 

Do you like the James Bond films? Ever tried reading the books? 

Why Didn't I Realize This Sooner?

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

I'm somehow equally secure and insecure about the same thing lately. Well, I figured something out, which is great. Fantastic. Wonderful. It's just...it's something I could have, should have realized a long time ago. So while I'm glad I'm starting to figure things out about my book, I'm still left shaking my first and screaming "WHY DIDN'T I REALIZE THIS SOONER???"

Ahem. So last week I (vaguely) talked about having a bit of an epiphany about the last third of my book, which I've been trying forever to figure out and rewrite. Basically I realized Jordan (the MC of my WIP for those of you who are new here) wasn't acting like himself and that it was making the story weaker. If he stayed truer to his character, it would make more sense going forward and I could eventually bring the book to its conclusion without losing tension (I hope).

Well, I'm still figuring out more things that I should have already figured out. I've talked before about a "twist" that happens at the end of Chapter 17. Well, it'll probably be Chapter 18 now because my editing has added a chapter, but that's not the point. I've always been a bit psychotic about how much I love this twist. I wouldn't say it's a complete plot twist, it's more that one character does something you wouldn't expect, the other character is basically smacked in the face by it, and things get all messed up for a chapter or two before getting resolved.

I love, love, love this moment when it happens. It's intense. It's kind of heartbreaking. But what I did afterward always worried me. I kind of smoothed things over really quickly. In the next chapter, actually. Basically the character who did the bad thing explains why he did it and my characters more or less make up and everything's back to normal. I've always worried that I kind of made that awesome twist irrelevant by sweeping it under the rug.

OR DID I??? (DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN.)

Well, this is what I'm realizing. In relation to my last post, this is basically the moment in the story where Jordan realizes he's letting his emotions get the better of him. He basically makes a big emotion-based decision, tries to act on it, and gets blindsided by the results. I wouldn't say he gets heartbroken, but close. SO. This is the point where he decides he's never going to let his emotions dictate his actions again, because the one time he does it backfires on him.

So this thought process will continue throughout the rest of the book! So while he does make up with the other character and things seemingly go back to normal, underneath, he has completely changed because of the twist moment.

You're probably thinking, that's great, Sarah, why would you be insecure when you're finally figuring the end of your book out? Because I could have figured it out sooner! All the puzzle pieces were there, staring me in the face, and I just couldn't put them together. Oh well. What can you do? Just keep writing, I suppose.

Have you ever realized something about a WIP that you should have realized sooner? 

My MC is Terrible (or, My Book Epiphany)

So, I had a bit of a book epiphany. And it wasn't that my MC (you know who) is a terrible character. It's that he's a terrible person! Well, sort of. Bear with me.

It's always felt like there was something I was missing from the end of the book, something I couldn't figure out. It always seemed weaker, almost flimsy when compared to the beginning of the book. I couldn't figure out how to get my book to the same conclusion but to keep it strong along the way. It seemed the path it wanted to take just made it less interesting.

Well, I was kind of smacked in the head with an idea. At work, of all places. Now, I can usually zone out and think about these things without stopping what I'm doing, but this idea seemed so intense that I actually paused and stared off into space while I considered it (hopefully no one saw me, I'm pretty sure my mouth fell open a few times). I know when an idea is this strong, then it's probably the right way to go.

So, the thing about my characters' relationship in the book is that it's all about structure. Every moment is planned, calculated. Actually, pretty much everything my MC does is calculated -- except when he's driven by emotion. As teenagers are apt to be. So as more emotions get involved over the course of the novel, the structure kind of falls apart. But I realized, why does this particular character lose the structure? It's not really like him at all. Sure, he can slip for a moment or two, show some emotion, even if it's just for the reader. But he should be able to come back to his senses and always see everything from a few steps ahead.

I realized this was my problem. He stopped calculating things, figuring them out, being manipulative--things that have been central to his character from the beginning. Why? It seems that the end of the book came because of a buildup of emotion and not an intense thought process. He really should see it coming, actually, he should see every moment of the book coming. If he doesn't know when things will happen, he should at least be aware that they will happen. The end of the book always seemed to come out of nowhere, but I think there needs to be a more obvious build to it. When emotions come into play, he should be more analyzing of his own, to see how he reacts in certain situations and how that fuels what he wants to do next. He can't just be a slave to his emotions because he never has been before. He needs to stay true to his character.

I think the tricky part now is that I need my MC to keep some things from the reader. I kinda want him to have a bit of a reveal at the end that he saw everything coming, that everything was planned out and not as spontaneous as it seemed. Hopefully this will make the ending more devastating for the reader *insert evil laugh*. So while maybe he wasn't 100% heartless throughout the book, the end will kind of smack everybody in the face (characters and readers included). I think I just have to find a good balance between what he's willing to share with the reader and how he's able to hide the rest.

Ok, I know that was super vague and did not make much sense. But the important thing is that I THINK I FINALLY FIGURED MY DAMN BOOK OUT. Hopefully once I write it out it will all make sense.

Ever been smacked by a book epiphany? Have you ever realized your character wasn't acting like him/herself and that was dragging the book down?

Showing off the Insecurity

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

It's a busy day so I'll spare you all my personal nonsense (mainly that my poor Gizmo is sick AGAIN and I really can't afford to go to the vet right now...wait, this isn't sparing you, is it?) and dive right in...

First up, this month's optional question is: Have you ever slipped any of your personal information into your characters, either by accident or on purpose? 

Kinda sorta. I think I sometimes create characters who are versions of myself, or who share some personality traits. Jordan's best friend, Eric, is a lot like me. He's shy and awkward, and what ends up happening to him in the book kind of reflects some things that I went through with friends in high school. But it's very, very different, too, so it's not too obvious. 

I did, however, recently come to realize something about a major character that I also recently discovered about myself (what that is may be a little TMI for this post...perhaps another day!). It kind of makes a complicated character even more complicated, but I think it actually makes sense for the way I've written him. It kind of explains any unanswered questions. But I just kinda like how it was something I discovered about myself and the character! Like I had created this trait in him that I didn't even know was in me. 

And now for something completely different...

Today is also the day for the Show Us Your Writer Insecurity contest! Don't ask me why I decided to take part, I'm the least photogenic person on the planet (why does my forehead always look 10 times bigger than it does in real life???), but here goes nothin'...

Here's what you need to know about this photo:

1. I'm rockin' the IWSG swag with my sweet new notebook and mug (I love mugs!)

2. I'm also rockin' my math leggings (aka editing pants)

3. The red binder holds the third draft of Uneven Lines (so far...still only up to Chapter 12)

4. Yup, that pen on the binder is the OG FFP (I'm not lame, I swear...)

5. Coffee is life (especially when trying to edit) 

Ok, I'm done. Big shout out to my hubby for taking this photo (and the dozens of shots taken before this one that I didn't like).

Routine? What's That?

Yikes! I haven't blogged regularly in quite some time! So it's definitely time for me to get out of vacation mode and back into the swing of things. Whatever that means. I've always been really terrible at making a routine for myself and sticking to it. I procrastinate on things that have to get done, so you can imagine what happens to the things that don't have to immediately be done (*cough* writing *cough*). Sometimes I just feel like there's not enough time in the day to do everything I need and want to do.

There's work, obviously. I really like my hours compared to my old job (they're the same every day and I get every other weekend off). I'm home every day at 2:30 so you'd think that would leave lots of time for other stuff? Well..........not as much as you'd think. Probably because my job is physically demanding. I'm just always tired. The first thing I have to do when I get home is give my cat treats (you do not want to mess with the cat's routine...). Then I usually need something to eat myself and I'll catch up on a TV show. Then maybe if I feel like getting up I'll do some dishes or some other chore. My husband gets home at 4:30 and gets us iced coffees and then we pretty much just watch TV, have dinner, then go to bed around 9 or 10.

Ok, I know the glaring thing in that routine is that I watch way too much TV. I know. Guilty. I like TV, ok? Plus, with the whole being tired thing, my brain isn't always at full capacity. I'm not sure anything I would try writing at that time would be any good. But I don't actually try, so how would I know?

There's just so much I want to get done and never have the time or energy. I want to go to the gym at least 5 days a week, but there goes at least an hour and it will leave me even more tired. I want to read more. My 100 book goal this year is DEFINITELY not happening (I'm only at 11). And obviously, there's writing. I haven't worked on UL's third draft in almost two months (did I just admit that?). And I haven't been blogging that much either. Even when I write a post, I don't get around to visiting as many other blogs as I'd like.

I really want to switch things up but I don't know where to start. I'm way behind in my writing goals for this year, too. I thought I'd be done with the third draft months ago. I really wanted to write the second book in the series for NaNoWriMo, but I just don't think I'll be ready yet for it. I thought about doing Shiny New Story instead, but I don't think that idea's developed enough, either. I still have over a month to figure it out, but if I don't make a lot of progress on UL, I probably won't want to take myself away from it, either. I've just never fully committed to NaNo and I really wanted to do it this year.

So yeah. I don't do well with routines. I can't even make myself wash my face every night, for crying out loud. But I still keep trying. Maybe I can make a routine that works.

A Surprise Genre

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

I feel like I'm having deja vu from last month's post because once again, I am so busy I barely have time to write this post! Because I'm going on another vacation in a few days. Hubby and I are going back to Las Vegas for our first wedding anniversary (today is actually our dating anniversary--ten years!). I haven't started packing. I've been preoccupied because Gizmo was sick last week with another stress related UTI (I tried to change his food to a gentle formula...big mistake!!!). He's doing much better now, but I've had to clean EVERYTHING and do so much laundry.

*deep breath*

So, needless to say, I've been doing zero writing. And of course I'll bring some work on the plane but I'll probably just end up watching TV.

I think this month I'll defer to the optional question (I don't usually like to do them because EVERYONE does *shrug* but I also liked this month's question a lot): Have you ever surprised yourself with your writing? For example, by trying a new genre you didn't think you'd be comfortable in?

OH GOOD LORD YES.

*cough*

Let me put it this way: did I anticipate finding a very strong POV voice in a slightly sociopathic gay teenage boy? GOOD LORD NO. Literally none of those things. The only part of that I was familiar with was the teenager aspect. All my other narrators had been teenage girls. Jordan was a HUGE leap from anything I'd ever written. And it was scary as hell. But sometimes you have to go with your gut.

My story and I have been through hell and back but I love it to death. And Jordan has sunk his claws so deep into my brain that all my new story ideas have gay main characters, too, and I'm just fine with that. It was weird and unexpected at first, but now it kinda makes sense to me. I found a genre that fits. Now if I could just finish writing those ideas................

I'm hoping to get back into some kind of writing/blogging routine when I'm back from my vacation. I need to finish this damn book, after all.

Jealous Yet?

Summer's not really for blogging, is it? I had planned on posting something right when I got back from New York after my birthday, but now two weeks have passed and the dust is forming around here. Well, since I don't really have any writing progress to talk about, I thought I'd just share some details and pics from my trip! Prepare to be jealous....

The bus trip from Boston to New York was smoooooooooth sailing. We left 13 minutes late but somehow got there early. I always think I'm going to get writing done when traveling but it never happens so I don't know when I'll learn. I read a bit, listened to music, and then dozed off. Next thing I knew all the signs indicated we were in the Bronx and I said, "already??" so it wasn't much longer until we got to Port Authority and then checked into our hotel.

First stop (like, immediately, because we hadn't eaten anything all day) was Black Tap! You've probably seen their Crazy Shakes all over the internet, so I just had to check it out and indulge my sweet tooth. (I wish the lighting had been better for the pics but I'm just not the type of person to bust out the flash and blind the bartender while my food is melting...) The burger was pretty good, too!

My actual birthday was pretty low key. We went out for breakfast and then did a little walking in Central Park (trying to channel the muse by doing one of his favorite activities but he wasn't paying attention...). The real event that day was dinner at Sugar Factory. They have these HUGE goblet drinks that they pour at the table and there's dry ice in the bottom that makes smoke come out. It was nifty. 

It also had lollipops and a candy necklace. Me drinking it for scale: 

Yes, it had alcohol, and yes I somehow finished it and yes I was a bit drunk but it was my 30th birthday so there. There was also dessert: 

I only ate about half of this because I could not get my husband to take even one bite. Party pooper. 

The next day we decided to be crazy and WALK from West 44th Street down to the Lower East Side because it would have been like a $36 Uber and I hate the subway and it was a nice day. We went to Koneko, which is a cat cafe! They had an actual cafe in the front and in the back there is a three floor section where all the cats are and we just hung out with them for an hour. All of the cats are up for adoption but I didn't think Gizmo would appreciate a sibling...I took way too many pictures to share so here are just a few:

BTW, my husband is definitely a cat guy. 

Then we had lunch nearby and walked all the way back to our hotel to get ready for...wait for it...*snicker*

Oh yeah! Did you know I tried to get tickets to Hamilton when it was still off-Broadway?? It was even more expensive back then, actually, so it didn't happen. I waited forever to see this. I've seen plenty of musicals but none where I already knew all of the songs. Of course it was amazing but I did already know everything that was going to happen. Plus I was waiting for the audience to sing along at certain points (LAFAYETTE!) but they didn't. Tsk tsk. 

I've also never been to a musical that my favorite actor used to be in. Was I judging the current King George? Maybe...I could write an entire essay on the psychological crisis of seeing this musical but I'll spare you. Still very awesome.

Ok, so I hate hate hate pictures of myself, but this was my outfit for the night. I don't go out all that much so I do like to dress up for the theater. My shoes will henceforth be known as Aaron and Burr because they were KILLING my feet! I'll be here all week, folks. 

Also, shout out to the best hubby ever. Our seats were in the very last row of orchestra, and there was actually a small gap in between them. I was sitting on the right side while my husband used the bathroom and this guy sat in front of me who was super tall and had an ENORMOUS head. Well, when my hubby came back he swapped seats with me so I could see better. *kissy face emoji*

And one of my favorite post-Broadway show treats is the devil's food cheesecake from Junior's. I can never eat the whole thing, though. 

And that's about it. I won't tell you about the trip back because it was HELL. I slept for about 13 hours straight on that Friday night. And then we went to a wedding the next day. Phew! It was quite a trip, though! I got to stuff my face with delicious food, hang out with some cats, and see Hamilton for my 30th birthday. Are you jealous yet???