Jordan Takes Over: What Should I Write About?

**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**

Happy New Year! How's everyone doing?

Ok, was that as weird for you as it was for me? Blech. No, I did not make a New Year's resolution to be nicer or anything. That would just be way too difficult. Plus, you know, if you're a cool person I really don't have any reason to be a jackass to you. So there.

Anyway, before I forget what I wanted to write about...so I know my December post was all about me, me, me!!! Or maybe every post is like that...No, that's not true! I know it. I've given you some good advice before, right? No one's gonna get all cranky just because I wanted all the attention during my birthday month.

Well, ok, here's the thing. I've been accused of being selfish at least once (We won't talk about that. Let's just say I won that fight. Fuck, I even won the make up. Let this be a lesson to you people...), and yeah, maybe sometimes it's true. And I know what I'm about to say is just going to make you think I'm lazy or something, but here goes:

The big question is: What do you want me to write about? 

It's not like I can't come up with ideas on my own. Sometimes I procrastinate, sure, but I get the job done. *wink wink* But I thought I would try reaching out to whoever actually cares about reading what I have to say. So I want you to comment with questions or topics you'd like me to provide my unique perspective on in the upcoming months.

So my favorite topics are usually: inspiration, characters, voice, writers being stupid, MYSELF. What kind of things would you like to know coming directly from a character/muse? What things do you find yourself screaming while you shake your fists in the air and curse your muse for not inspiring you? Or if you just want me to talk about myself, then I certainly don't have a problem with that.

I promise, no matter how silly or serious the question, I will try to answer it. If no one has any questions, or just doesn't care, well then, at least I had a topic for this month just by asking. HA. See? I always win.

JP

Getting Off on the Right Foot

If I were to stick to an ideal blogging schedule, I would post something every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I've been able to pull it off in the past, but I'm not always consistent from week to week. Fridays are definitely my worst day. If I don't have a good idea for a post or just don't feel like writing one, I usually won't. I'll tell myself that no one really looks at other blogs on Fridays anyway so what's the point? 

Well, not today! 

Since today is my first actual posting day of the new year, I didn't want to slack off. I wanted to start things out right. Maybe I won't post three days every single week throughout 2015, but if I don't at least try, I never will. And if I skip today, then it'll just kill my motivation even more. 

So I don't really have all that much to say today. I haven't really started any of my major goals yet (besides trying to read every day), but I'm hoping to really get the motivation going next week. I plan on spending the weekend planning things out, maybe even writing a few blog posts ahead of time. I at least want to map out the entire month of January for my posts, so that way each day I'll know what I'm going to write. 

As far as editing/rewriting goes, I have no idea how I'll even start. But I guess like everything else, I'll be taking it one step at a time. 

Have a great weekend, everyone!

The Obligatory New Year's Goals Post

I wasn't even going to do this, but I've seen a lot of other people doing it, so, here we go! Goals for the new year.

1. Bust out the third draft of Uneven Lines and try to get it published 
So I know getting this book published is going to be an uphill battle, that I'm probably going to get a million rejections before something good happens. But I can't even get the battle started if  I don't FINISH THE EFFING BOOK. In February it'll be four years working on this thing and I just really want to get somewhere with it. So yeah. Most important goal right there.

2. Get some smaller pieces published. And write some more. And get those published.
I've been sitting on dozens of poems for years and haven't done anything with them. At least one good short story, too (and several bad ones). I'd really like to get them published somewhere, and start writing more. I really just want to be writing something every day and having more pieces than I know what to do with.

3. Read more books and watch more movies. 
Every single year I make a goal to read 100 books and watch 100 movies. I never even come close, especially with the books. I only read twelve this year! Twelve! I got a lot closer with the movies--84, check out the list here. I would like to actually accomplish these goals for once, and really, I should be reading a lot more.

4. Figure out what the hell I'm doing with my life
If I can accomplish #1 and #2 this will be a lot easier, but in the meantime, I really need to find a job that works for me, and hopefully move out of my apartment in the near future. My fiance and I have been living in the same studio apartment for over three years and I think it's starting to drive me a little nuts. I want ROOMS. Like, more than one.

I probably have a million other small goals but those are the big ones. I really don't feel like I accomplished anything last year, so I'd like to make some big changes in 2015. We'll see.

What I Got for Christmas...

I was thinking of doing your typical January/New Year's Goals post, but since I'm running around like a nut doing 10 loads of laundry this morning, I thought I'd keep this post short and sweet. I'll possibly write about my goals on Wednesday. Possibly. 

I hope everyone had a great holiday and got all of the presents they wanted! I never know what to ask for when Christmas rolls around. I already have way too much stuff and no room to put it, so I end up being too practical about presents. I asked my fiance to put air in my car's tires and replace my missing hubcap, just because I didn't want to do it. I guess I'm weird, but that's the sort of thing I usually want. That or cash. 

The downside was that I knew every single gift I was getting this year, because it was all stuff I asked for. I guess the upside was that I couldn't possibly be disappointed. So I did get a lot of practical stuff--a new pillow, gray winter gloves to match my scarf, a yoga mat. But I got some fun stuff, too. The new Anne Rice book, the next Game of Thrones book I needed, Criminal Minds Season 9 on DVD, and CANDY!!!

And these adorable Funko Pop dolls of Kristoff and Sven from Frozen. Because I'm an adult, I swear. 

Everyone needs at least one toy for Christmas, right? Including Gizmo. By the way, I didn't ask the cat to pose with all of my presents. He just refused to move. 

What did you guys get for Christmas? Any good toys? 

Deja Vu Blogfest: When Do You Hold Back?

Today is the Deja Vu Blogfest! Hosted by DL Hammons and Nicole Zoltack. The idea is to re-post your favorite blog post from earlier in the year, or one you thought didn't get enough attention. This was a tricky one for me. I decided to go way back to the beginning of the year and pick a post I liked that also wasn't too popular. I decided on this one because not only do I find it amusing, but it also addresses a topic that I still struggle with. My opening paragraph offended somebody who read it (so obviously they didn't make it to the second chapter), but I'm starting to wonder if that's a bad thing...

Anyhoo, here it is (from January 13): When Do You Hold Back? 

I read somewhere once that a character should not masturbate in the first three chapters of a book. Too bad that's exactly how I start Chapter Two!

There's a time and place for everything, but how exactly do you figure that out when writing a novel? I've been struggling a bit with my opening line to the second chapter, since I love it but it also kind of worries me: "I didn't like jerking off, but sometimes it was necessary." I like it, it fits the voice, but is it too much to open a chapter with? Are my readers going to laugh or be disgusted?

Well, I suppose anyone who's disgusted by that line should know that it only gets worse and probably shouldn't have picked up my book in the first place. But for those who really are interested in this particular story, is a line like this going to scare them off? When is it ok to be completely inappropriate?

I guess it depends on the story you're writing. And it's not just about vulgarity, either. You have to make sure every moment, every sentence, even, fits in with the overall tone and voice of your book. There are times when you can be subtle, and there can be times that make your reader gasp. You really need both to have a good balance. But I think the question that's really been on my mind lately is, should you ever hold something back in your book because you think it's too over the top?

I think I've already answered that question. It all depends on the story you're writing. And on the scene you're writing, actually. The reader is going to be able to tell if a moment, or even a single word, doesn't fit with the rest of the scene. It will take them out of the book for a moment, make them realize it isn't real. And you don't want that. So it's not even about holding back, it's about being genuine. Yes, I start the second chapter of my book with my narrator talking about masturbation. But he's a fifteen-year-old boy with a new crush. What else would he be doing? It's real, so I think it works, the weak-nerved reader be damned!

So mix it up a little. If the reader needs to be punched in the face, then you should punch them in the face. If your characters swear, and it fits your genre, then let them be who they are and talk how they want to talk. Of course, you don't want to overdo it. Every word has to be carefully planned out. It has to be necessary. You don't want swearing just for the sake of swearing. You want your characters to have real voices. Know what works for them and for the story. Never hold back just because you think you should. Hold back only when the story needs it.

Five Secrets

I was tagged by Samantha Bryant to share five secrets about myself. The first question that came to mind was, do I even have five secrets? And then, if I do, would I be willing to share them on my blog? I figured any secrets I could share would either be really boring or really depressing, or just not secrets at all. So these five little bits of information are sort of secrets? I guess?

My hair is turning white
Not gray, but white. They've been sprouting up here and there since I was 18, but now it's starting to get worse. I've always said I would never dye my hair until it started to go gray, so now I'm actually considering it, but I really don't want to. I usually just pluck them out of my head or ignore them. I have pulled out a few white hairs that had color at the root, so I'm wondering if that's a good sign, and maybe it's stress related or something like that and the color can come back. Fingers crossed!

I had imaginary friends until I was 12
It started with one when I was 8 and then grew into an entire group. We had all sorts of adventures, occasionally teaming up with my real friends who also had imaginary friends. Sometimes there were imaginary villains. I think it goes along with being a writer and wanting to create characters and stories. When I started 6th grade it started to feel silly so they drifted away. Wait a second, I'm a writer. I still have imaginary friends. Except Jordan would make me trip down a flight of stairs if I called him imaginary. Just don't tell him about my Twitter bio...

I used to act
This isn't so much a secret, but may be surprising considering how much of an introvert I am. When I was in 4th and 5th grade, I joined the Drama Club. We would put on shorter versions of famous musicals. Instead of all of the songs, there was usually one group number and one solo for the lead--for instance, when we did Annie, we did "Hard Knock Life" and "Tomorrow." I always went for the supporting roles so luckily I didn't have to sing. I was Grace in Annie and Nancy in Oliver! It was a lot of fun but I think the idea of trying out in middle school just seemed too intimidating for me, so I never did it again.

I have no friends

I think in today's world, it's hard to say who your actual friends are. I have all of my blogger buddies, of course. I have Facebook friends, but those are mostly former coworkers. I have one childhood friend that I hang out with every few months or so. But that's about it. I'll go out with my fiance and his friends, but I really don't have any friends of my own. I had to cut ties with pretty much all of my friends after high school, which honestly is something I should have done long before then. Since then, I've had a very hard time making serious friends. I think it's equally due to my extreme social awkwardness and the fact that it's hard for me to trust people after being hurt by friends so many times. It's just very hard for me to click with people.

This is what the inside of my head looks like
In my Liebster Award post, I mentioned that I have a cerebral shunt in my head that was put in when I was 3 months old to drain fluid from my brain. Well, here's a diagram of what that looks like, courtesy of Wikipedia:

Well, those are my five "secrets." This is the part where I'm supposed to tag people to pass this on to, but I figured that would take me several months to do. So if you'd like to be the next person to share five secrets, let me know in the comments and I will tag you!

Blogging Block

I was supposed to know what to blog about today. I was supposed to do something cool for my muse's birthday. But I couldn't figure anything out and he had nothing to say besides, "It's my birthday--why are you making me work??" I could make an actual cake but I'd be the only person eating it, and that's no good. Especially since I lost three pounds last week (woo!).

So then I thought I could tell you all how I was planning on cracking down and just writing like crazy this week. Well, I know that's not going to happen already. I really was planning on it, but the universe has slapped me in the face once again. I thought I had figured out what was making my cat sick and fixed the problem, since the last time he got better on his own without medicine, but today his symptoms started up again for the millionth time. So I'm kind of stressed out and frustrated and don't really feel like doing anything besides sitting here on my computer.

The good news is that I'm making a little bit of money doing some crowdsource work. Not a lot, but it's something. I made $100 last week so I figured if I can keep up the same pace it would be like a part time job, which would be great for me so I can still have time to focus on writing. I do need to branch out a little more and try to get some writing work and get some small things published, even if I don't get paid for it.

Well, I won't bore you with my nonsense since I have no idea what to actually blog about. I'd say "happy birthday" to Jordan but he probably wouldn't care. Which is weird since he usually likes attention...maybe just not from me...