05 June 2013

The Greatest/Worst Book Ever Written

It's a busy blog hopping week for me! Aside from starting my own, I've joined one as well: the Insecure Writer's Support Group. It seemed like the perfect fit for me, you know, since I'm just chock full of insecurity. Visit Alex J. Cavanaugh's blog if you'd like to join, too! 

First Wed of Every Month

So what I'd like to talk about are the ups and downs of writing a novel. The feeling you have one day that this is the best idea anyone's ever come up with in the history of forever, and then the feeling you have the next day that you've written absolute crap that will never amount to anything. Which thought process is right? How do you deal with this roller coaster of insecurity?

I have this problem all of the time. When I first wrote my WIP as a short story, I thought it was the greatest thing I'd ever written. I gave it out to friends, handed it in for a college workshop. I thought I was brilliant. Now I can't even stand to read a sentence of it. The fact that so many other people have read it still bothers me. The novel version has the same characters and same basic plot--but still, it feels light years away from the original. But how can something be perfect one day and then horrible the next?

I think it has a lot to do with creative energy. When you're first getting your ideas down, it's exciting; it's like a purge of all of the ideas in your head. There's nothing quite like it. You'll come up with a sentence in your head and think, "Oh, that's brilliant!" and getting it down onto paper or the computer and actually seeing it before your eyes is thrilling. But once that sentence sits around for a while, you might not find it so brilliant anymore. You might see several ways to rewrite it, or you may want to scrap it altogether.

But when are you right? When you started and thought you were a genius? Or when you look back and see how horrible it is?

If you only listen to your pessimistic side, then you'd probably want to give up every other day and not bother writing at all because you're so horrible at it. If you only listen to the optimistic side, though, once you start trying to get published, you may become overly frustrated because you can't understand how these agents or publishers just aren't getting your genius! See the problem? Neither side is right, but neither is wrong. You need both to balance each other out. You need to have confidence in yourself and your writing. But you also need some self-doubt in there, too. How will you ever be able to edit if you can't see any flaws in your work? You need part of yourself to tell you that something isn't working, but you also need that part to tell you when you get it right.

The way I like to think about it (especially as I'm only writing my first draft), is that I know that something isn't right, but I just don't know how to fix it yet. Make a note of all the things you want to fix, but don't get too frustrated or give up just because it seems like a lot of work. And give yourself some credit. Highlight those sentences that really do work and try to see why they are so perfect. It just might help you figure out the rest.

22 comments:

  1. It can be discouraging to make the discovery that you were only a genius in your own mind. But I think I'd rather be known for having written the worst book of all time than to have written nothing at all.

    Lee
    Wrote By Rote

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    1. That's a great way of looking at it--better to write something horrible than to let the fear make you give up altogether. Thanks for the follow!

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  2. Yeah, the gremlins in your head...LOL! The way I look at it, my best book is always the one I'm working on. The next one will be even better but I have to write this one first to get there. As for the roller coaster, acknowledge it but don't let it keep you from the thrill of riding (or writing).
    Welcome to the IWSG!
    Laura Eno – A Shift in Dimensions

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    1. Your newest writing project always seems better than the last one, doesn't it? I guess it's because the more you write, the more you improve.

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  3. Oh my gosh, its too hard to know when you are actually right...
    For me, at least I'm writing something. I love my ideas but then I'm so full of self doubt that I'm not sure I can pull it off lol loved this post ;)

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    1. Don't let self-doubt pull you down! Just push through with your first draft and then turn that doubt into a realistic view when you go back and edit.

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  4. Lee says it like it is. haha. I wish we could all enjoy the process more then we do. I have gone through the same things with my first story. I made the decision to put it away for a while and if I come back to it, great. If not, that's ok, too. I just move on to the next story.

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    1. We often leave behind the old stories in favor of a new, better one. Just remember that the old one is still there.

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  5. I think you're on the right track. You learn something new every day, and what was brilliance yesterday can be improved in a dozen ways just by all the new things you've learned since writing it. That's how I see it. The first draft of my first novel was terrible; overdone descriptions, convenient plot twists, pointless characters. The thing is, much as I know how awful some of those scenes were, I still look at them fondly. I learned something from writing them, and I'll learn something from writing the next bad scene. I don't think its about being right or wrong, but about learning and changing.

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    1. I always think that anything you write can be useful, even if you end up scrapping it. It may help you figure out the plot or characters a little more.

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  6. I have tons of notes each day, reminding myself what I want to change or add later during the editing process. If I stop and fix it in real time, then I lose my momentum. Nice meeting you through IWSG!!

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    1. I have a huge list of things to go back and fix, but for now I'll just keep writing.

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  7. The balance is very important. It's also what I struggle with the most. I usually end up on the pessimistic self-doubt side.

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    1. I know what you mean. The optimistic, brilliant thoughts are usually rare, and the pessimistic thoughts fill the rest of the time.

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  8. Self doubt is the enemy. Be true to yourself and keep writing. Very good advice.

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    1. Self-doubt can end up dragging you down. It helps to turn those thoughts into more realistic ones--thinking that yes, there are things to fix, but you can do that, too.

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  9. Hey, Sarah!

    Yep, I know exactly what you're talking about, and it drives me nuts! It's good I'm not the only one with a split personality when it comes to writing. :) Thanks for the great post.

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    1. Thanks! It can be very frustrating, especially when something you loved one day seems useless the next.

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  10. I try not to judge the first pages. Taking out the sickle in the next draft wouldn't work if every word was precious and every darling dear. (plus some of the best transcendent images hide amidst the rubble of poorly chosen words.

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    1. Better to be realistic than pessimistic. Know that some things work, and others don't.

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  11. You sound like you know what you are talking about! It's the worst when your novel has become that good looking person you dated and you were so excited and you showed him/her off to all your friends and they didn't see them like you saw them and then one day you didn't see their beauty anymore but all the flaws they had.

    Then you broke up with your novel for not being good enough.

    First, don't show it around. Some writers can do that but most find it to kill the momentum. Until you have that completed first draft, show no one. Don't tell people your plot. It doesn't feel as special once it's out there.

    Remember that just like in love, you will need to accept the flaws and even learn to appreciate them in order to move forward. Otherwise you'll just keep breaking up with your story.

    And so what if you write something horrible? It's good exercise. You don't get good, until you've allowed yourself to be lousy. Most writers do not spring fully formed from the head of Zeus with a pen in hand and a million dollar idea. They write. They suck. They get better.

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    1. That's a great metaphor. You don't want to give up on your writing just because it isn't perfect--you want to work on it until it's better.

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