Well, it's almost the end of November, and I find myself realistically thinking about whether or not I'm going to finish my book for NaNoWriMo. And it's not looking good.
I've only written about 23,000 words. Even at my creative best, I can really only write about 1,000 words an hour. I'll admit it's hard for me to write anything when it's not the perfect word in my mind. I do a lot of blank page staring.
But honestly, it's a bigger problem than that. I just have no motivation for this book anymore. And yes, it's partially because I wrote the most intense scenes already and now it's more about filling in the gaps. I really have no desire to write the flashback scenes. The narrator's voice has been shaping itself a bit more, but really only during the most interesting moments. When he starts thinking, when he's worrying about what to do in a situation, it gets boring. I do love the first kiss scene--good lord, was that intense. See, it's better when there's action.
Sometimes when I think about trying to work on this book, I sort of cringe and try to avoid it. I do the dishes or watch TV. At best, I'll write about 300 words in a day. I just have no desire to work on it anymore.
I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I just want to get back to editing my other book. I really miss working on it. And I've wasted enough time NOT working on it, since, you know, it took me over two years to write the first draft. Plus I really, really miss writing in Jordan's voice. It's more fun. And I've worked on it for so long that I don't even have to think about it when I write as him. It just comes naturally. And it's not boring, unlike this stupid vampire narrator who doesn't know what the hell he wants. It's kind of like temporarily breaking up with your boyfriend for a month to go out with some other guy who turns out to be really boring.
So chances are, I'm not going to make it to 50,000. But tonight is WriteClub and I have to try! I don't have to necessarily finish the book, I just have to make the word count. But honestly, if I don't make it to 40,000 by tonight, I don't see it happening. So we'll see. I'm still going to try to get it done, or it least keep working on it until the end of November. Then I'll set it aside and get back to editing. And it'll always be there if I need a break.
Also, I was planning on running errands today but since it's raining and yucky out, that's really not gonna happen. So, more time for writing!
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I completely the same when it comes to the right word. And if I really can't find the one I want, I put a little question mark next to it so I can come back. My current WIP is littered with question marks at the moment. Enjoy the rest of November :-)
ReplyDeleteI think I just try too hard to get every word perfect on the first try, which is pretty much impossible. It's when I finally convince myself that I don't have to that I can push through a scene and get it done, even if it's awful.
DeleteGood luck with the winning stretch! I'm sure when it's time to go into your revision cave you'll miss the freedom of carefree pantsing.
ReplyDeleteGrass is always greener, right? Well, at least I'll still have my NaNo book to work on if I need a break to write something new.
DeleteIt's always the worst when you don't want to work on something. Been there, done that. =/ But you go kill 'em at Write Club! Rawr! And I might be watching mixed martial arts with my hubby right now...
ReplyDeleteI'm doing better than usual but it's still not anywhere near being done... *sigh*
DeleteI have the same problem with the "exact" word sometimes!
ReplyDeletewww.modernworld4.blogspot.com
I know how you feel. If I see how flawed it is I just want to stop and go back and fiddle until it's perfect. But you can't do that when you're trying to crank out words :) Best of luck!
ReplyDeleteSarah Allen
(From Sarah, with Joy)