02 March 2015

Jordan Takes Over: Food, Food, & More Food (Plus Questions Answered!)

**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**

It can't be the first Monday already, can it? Stupid short February. Why can't anyone ever just let me sleep?? *Yawn* Ok, first I'll get to last month's questions, which (as opposed to last month) were all from dudes, who also seemed to really get me...

First, Alex J. Cavanaugh asks: "Jordan, what crazy, outrageous thing would you do if you could get away with it?"

You're assuming I haven't already gotten away with several outrageous things already! Hmm...something I haven't done...Maybe just some way of tricking people into giving me money. Or, you know, if someone crosses me, I'll just find a way to ruin their life. Destroying a reputation is always a good way to go. The old standard.

Next, Stephen Tremp asks: "If you could push anyone over a cliff and get away with it, who would it be?"

Oh geez, there are so many choices. An annoying celebrity, an ex-boyfriend, my mom...You know, actually, shoving someone over a cliff isn't really my style. I'm more of a psychological assassin (see first question).

And finally, David P. King asks: "If I bought a bag of chips, what kind of dip would you get?"

Ugh, Sarah really wants me to say onion dip because she loves it. Hold on, let me give her some to distract her (never fails)...Me, though? I think I'd probably make some kind of dip from scratch. Like, have you ever had fresh guacamole? Holy crap. We're all about avocados over here.

This leads me to today's topic: COOKING. This should come as a surprise to no one: I like to eat. A lot. Hey, growing boy, right? Actually, I probably stopped growing like five years ago, but anyway. If you've read all of the ramblings about my book (no I will not find links for you!), you might remember that food is a big part of it. You know, hunger and symbolism and blah blah blah. Anyway, so my first-kinda-sorta-except-not-boyfriend used to cook for me. A lot. Like if I hadn't had the metabolism of a fifteen-year-old I would have been obese.

So you'd probably think that after we broke up, I wouldn't want to cook things for myself. To which I would reply: ARE YOU NUTS? Do you think I was going to go back to canned soup and frozen pizza? Hell no. So I demanded more grocery money from my mom and started cooking things for myself. It was a slow process, but eventually I got the hang of it. It's important to cook. Even if it's not your favorite thing in the world, there's some level of passion that goes into it. Even if it's just for yourself, it's something you're putting effort into. Plus, everyone likes good food, right?

So I thought I would share some yummy food pictures. Well, since I don't have any pictures of anything I've made, I stole Sarah's phone so I could show you some of my favorites of her dishes.

You know they say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, right? Plus, hello: BACON.

Of course the best time to chow down like a starved animal is dinner. Here we have sweet and sour shrimp, crispy orange beef, and MAC AND CHEESE! 

But if you forget dessert, then I have to slap you. We've got mint Oreo pie and strawberry/blueberry shortcakes (yes, with homemade biscuits!). Someone get me some ice cream, please!

Is everyone hungry now? 

So I will NOT be posting in April because of the A to Z Challenge. I know, you're devastated. Feel free to ask some more questions for May. If not, I'm sure I'll figure something out. I'm crafty like that. Well, I'm going back to sleep.



  1. I am hungry now. Especially for Mac and Cheese! And yes, I had to capitalize Mac and Cheese. I would have shouted it with the same enthusiasm as you, Jordan, but it's too early in the morning for me. I'd like to go back to sleep, too.

  2. Well, that muse has some pretty yummy recipes up his/her sleeve. I'd say eat and forget about those calories. Have a nice break Muse. See you again May.

  3. This was fun! I tried to make fresh avocado for Super Bowl and...I need to remember not to add Cilantro. I just didn't like it with the Cilantro on it. Mac & Cheese is one of my comfort foods. :)

  4. I'm definitely hungry; you look like you're a great cook! I've tried to cook several times, but I always end up ruining the food somehow, or I end up accidentally setting the food/myself on fire, and then I end up eating a frozen pizza instead (except I often end up leaving the pizza in the oven too long and burn that too).

  5. Jordan, I think I'm going to steer clear of you. Unless you are cooking. I can always be enticed with food.

  6. I don't cook, husband does. Maybe if we had an accessible kitchen.

  7. I'm totally hungry now. Feel free to call if you need someone to sample your dishes. :)