Post 99: The Dialogue Awards

That's right, this is the 99th post! That means the 100th is only two days away! I'm really excited. I hope everyone enjoyed the blurb I posted on Wednesday, and thanks to those who left comments. Now there's just one more thing to do before the big day...

It's The Dialogue Awards!

I originally wanted to share some dialogue with my 100 facts, but I realized there were far too many lines that I liked. It was hard to pick just a few. So I decided to devote a whole post to some of my favorite lines of dialogue. Some of the categories are typical, some are ridiculous. I wanted to give every character a chance to be featured, as well as include some of my favorite moments. I tried to pick ones that could still shine out of context.

Do we need a drum roll? Or dramatic music? No? Ok.

Most Adorable:

            Tom: "You’re cute. Can I keep you?"

Most Shocking:

Jordan: “I’m amazed I wasn’t an abortion.”

Best Back and Forth Banter:

Jordan: “Couldn’t spring for a coffee?”

Tom: “Are you allowed to drink coffee?”

Jordan: “Am I allowed to make out with a twenty-eight-year-old?”

Tom: “Touché.”

Best Lie That’s Actually Kind of True:

Jordan: “Mom, there’s no easy was to say this. I started prostituting.” 

Best Inappropriate Comeback:

Tom: “What good could possibly come from it?”

Jordan: “I dunno, orgasms?”

Best Dialogue That Has Lasted Since the Short Story Version:

            Tom: “You’re fifteen.”

            Jordan: “It’s just a number.”

            Tom: “Yes, a big flashing red number. With sirens.”

Best Just Before the First Kiss Line:

            Tom: “Oh, for crying out loud, haven’t you ever kissed anyone before? Just hold still and close your eyes.”

Best Tom is Crazy When He's Cooking Line:

Tom: “You can’t rush risotto!”

Mom’s Best Line:

            Mom: “You know, I really do miss when you were a baby. You didn’t talk.”

Best “What the Hell is My Stupid Mom Doing Here?” Discussion:

Tom: “I feel terrible.”

Jordan: “Why?”

Tom: “Because every instinct is telling me to punch your mother in the face and snatch you away forever.”

Jordan: “I think if you just ask she would let you. Actually, she might sell me to you.”

Best “We’re Not Entirely Certain Who the Adult is in this Relationship” Line:

            Tom: “Are you kidding me? You’ve never had a cookie fresh out of the oven? Were you born forty years old?”

Best “It is what it is” Line:

Jordan: “No, having a sugar daddy has worked out great for my mom. And I don’t even have to fuck you.”

Tom: “Please don’t call me that.”

Best Words of Wisdom from Eric:

Eric: “Oh. You mean…? Oh! Is it that guy? From your date? Is he your boyfriend?”

Jordan: “Shh! No, he’s not…I don’t know, it’s hard to explain. You really want to know this stuff?”

Eric: “I dunno, that sort of thing might gross out someone like Brian, but it’s cool with me. I’d tell you if I had a date with a girl, right? We’re friends.”

Best Brian Still Doesn’t Know That Jordan is Gay Line:

            Brian: “Christ, Palmer, are you going out with a vampire? I hope she sucked your dick that hard.”

Best Dialogue That Shows Theme (Possibly Also the Saddest):

            Jordan: “But it’s who you are. You can’t fight who you are. I can’t, either. That’s why I can’t stay. You always knew that. You knew you couldn’t keep me.”

There you have it! I did too much, didn't I? I'll understand if you skipped a few. Or if you think I'm just nuts. If not (or if you're totally ok with that sort of thing), be sure to come back on Sunday for the 100th post! I should probably get back to work on that...

Post 98: My Book Blurb

Ok, bear with me, people. I'm actually typing this post on my phone, which I've never done before. I had to be at work at 7, but now have nothing to do until 11. Don't ask. But I didn't feel like putting this off until tonight, so here we are. If I can get through it without a typo, it'll be a miracle.

I came to realize that "synopsis" was not the right word for what I wanted to share with you guys. I wasn't planning on writing pages and pages of summary, or on giving away any spoilers. What I really wanted to share was a blurb. I know I said I wanted to carefully craft this, but really I've just scribbled it out over the past hour or so. I'm a procrastinator, ok? So obviously it's not back-of-the-book ready or anything (it's too long, for one thing), but I think it's decent enough so that I can share it with you.

And this is mostly for everyone who's ever asked "what's your book about??" Like my boss this morning. And I avoided the question as usual. So without further ado, here is my not-so perfect blurb for Uneven Lines:

If there's one thing Jordan hates, it's being bored. Right now, two things are boring him to death--girls and geometry. Since he's not quite ready to ask out a guy, he has to find other ways to amuse himself. His plans to fail math class just for fun backfire when his mostly absent mother hires a math tutor. It's not all bad, though--Tom is really cute, and most importantly, not boring. Turns out he has a few secrets of his own, and eventually the two can't deny the fact that they're both attracted to each other. Since Tom is nearly twice Jordan's age, he's certain that they can't do anything about it. But Jordan is always up for a challenge. He develops a plan to keep their relationship in check--because it isn't really a relationship at all. It becomes more of an arrangement, where Tom gives Jordan whatever he wants in exchange for any physical acts, all the while keeping the boundaries in place so that certain lines will never be crossed. It's fun at first, but they find those boundaries need to be stretched until they break. Everything comes into question, and they no longer know what their relationship is or what they want from each other. Finding the answer may be impossible.

Woo, so there it is! It's like bearing my soul. Be sure to come back on Friday for The Dialogue Awards, which should be really fun. Then, of course, the 100th post on Sunday! I should probably work on those facts...

Post 97: Something Unexpected...

All right, here we go!

With less than a week until my 100th post, I'm doing a lot of special posts this week. Today is #97. And it sort of came out of nowhere.

If you've been following me for a while, you know I've struggled to come up with a title for my book. Sex scenes? Half-drunk plot twists? Easy. But a title? Not so much. I'm sure I've said it a million times, but it seemed so hard to sum up my entire book in just a short little phrase.

Well, this is the list of folders on my flash drive at the moment:

Normally all of my book related things are filed under the first one: "A Folder Because Jojo Said So!" I made this a long time ago when all of my various files devoted to this story were taking up too much room and the muse demanded organization (Yes, sometimes I call him Jojo). "BL" is for Bleeding Life, an old book that I've shelved for now. Blood Lust was my NaNo book. The rest are pretty self-explanatory.

But what is that at the bottom?! I've never mentioned this before! Well, um, that's my new folder for the second draft. And yes, it has a title.

Ok, I'm not going for fireworks or any sort of big celebration here. It's kind of like being in a new relationship. It feels right, but you don't want to rush it. I've got to sit with this title for a while before I'm sure it's the right fit.

How did I come up with this title? It kind of just hit me out of nowhere. Well, half of it anyway. The other half has been pestering me for a while. The word "uneven" came to mind like a slap in the face. I was in the shower, actually. I do most of my thinking either there or right before I fall asleep. I liked the word, it felt at least somewhat right. The whole point of my characters' relationship is "being even," although it's easier said than done. I think the word "uneven" fits on this level, as well as a few symbolic ones.

The thought of having a one word title was strange. I told my boyfriend the idea and he wasn't all that impressed (not that he's much help on the title front, really he tries, but he's terrible at it). But what really killed it is the fact that whenever I come up with a title, I like to look it up and see if it's already a title to something else. I know there's no copyright on titles, and it would be hard to come up with something that's never been used for anything before. But I still like to check just to make sure I'm not naming my book the same as something that's already famous. When I checked Amazon, well, it wasn't a famous book, but it was the name of a gay BDSM novel. So yeah, kinda ruined it for me. If it had been a m/f book, then maybe I could have gotten past it. But I was already back to the drawing board in my mind.

After a while, the phrase "uneven lines" came to mind. I've always kinda wanted to put the word "lines" in the title. It fits with the geometry aspect, as well as the idea of crossing lines, morally, legally--whatever. Having "crossing lines" as a title seemed way too obvious. But these two words that I came up with completely separate--well, they seemed to fit together. And that's how I got Uneven Lines. I've been playing it over and over in my head. Occasionally I'll have the "I hate it!" moment, but for the most part, it's growing on me. I know, I know, I've said that before. But I think this time might be different.

What do you think? Like the new title? How do you come up with titles for your books? Be sure to come back on Wednesday for the next post in my week-long drum roll to the 100th!

Things I Should Be Doing

Since I couldn't quite decide what to write about today, I thought I'd provide a sort of counterpart to my Things I'm Doing Today post. Because that was a busy day, and today is not. So here are the things I should be doing.

Turning off the TV

If I can turn it off before the Law & Order: SVU marathon starts, then maybe I can save myself. Oh wait, was Glee new last night? It was, wasn’t it? Uggggh…must…resist…On Demand screen!!!!

Grocery shopping

            Seriously, I have no food.

Working on my 100 facts

Still at 55. I’m sure I can come up with more ideas. Right? I just don’t want them to be nonsense! Like this post!

Reading

I know I write better when I’m also reading something. But then reading takes away time that could be spent writing! I can’t win! I’ve got a pile of books waiting for me. I still have J.H. Trumble’s latest book, but I kind of don’t want to start reading it because I don’t want to be done reading her books. I love them so much! And I know the universe wants me to read David Sedaris but I’ve only gotten two stories into Naked and that was like, two months ago. Somebody tell my books to stop staring at me.

Planning this stupid trip

Still no hotel room. No bus tickets. No dinner reservation. I still want a picnic, though. Yes, in February. It could happen.

           

Writing my synopsis

Do I really think I’m going to be able to do this last minute? No, this needs to be crafted. Every sentence needs to be perfectly executed, giving just enough detail to tell people about the story and still leave them curious.

Doing more to promote my blog

            It’s not like this is something new or anything.

Actually venturing out into the world to do my Christmas shopping

But…but…that would require interacting with people. And finding a parking spot. And dodging psychos with shopping carts. It’s just so easy to point and click and wait for a package! I’m introverted, what do you want from me?!

And finally...

Things I’m Actually Doing That Aren’t Useless:

I did start my second draft last night. Totally revamping the first chapter. I wanted to start in a scene rather than having a whole page of exposition before anything happens. I really like how it’s coming out so far. And I’m handwriting it! How crazy is that?!

I'm also planning out my blog posts for next week. Sort of a buildup to the 100^th post. I think I’ll post the synopsis sometime during the week, so that on Sunday I can just focus on the 100 facts and not have the post be too long. I’m also thinking of sharing some snippets of dialogue in a post called “The Dialogue Awards.” Hopefully they’ll make sense out of context. But I’ve got fun categories, like “Most Romantic,” “Best Inappropriate Comeback,” and “Best Brian Still Doesn’t Know that Jordan is Gay Line.” Should be fun!

Well, hopefully this post was good for a laugh. Come back next week when all the festivities begin! Still don’t know what to get Jordan for his birthday, though. It’s kinda hard to keep a secret from someone who lives in your brain…

            

The Impending 100th Post of Doom...Sort Of...

It's that time again! The first Wednesday of every month is the Insecure Writer's Support Group day. Check out Alex J. Cavanaugh's blog to learn more!

I think I'll start by telling you what I'm NOT insecure about:

I'm not insecure about failing NaNoWriMo miserably. At a certain point, it just didn't feel right to be working on it any more. I'd rushed in, hadn't developed the characters enough. The voice was slowly starting to shape itself but it still wasn't good enough. I felt like I was forcing myself to write it, and the words weren't as good as they could be.

I'm not insecure that November was my very first perfect blogging month. I posted every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, with no exceptions. Sure, some posts weren't as thought out as others, but I still managed to pull it off.

I'm not insecure about diving headfirst into editing and crafting a second draft. Yet.

Ok, what's really weighing down my mind is this 100th post I have coming up on December 15. Yes, I know that's a Sunday. It's also my muse, Jordan's birthday (if you've never been here before and haven't seen me talk about it fifteen billion times). So the timing seemed kind of perfect for me to have my 100th post be on that day rather than on one of my usual blogging days.

What I'm concerned about is making this post live up to its potential. Making it be everything I want it to be and everything I've promised it would be. Getting enough people to see it. Having the people who do see it not think it's stupid. I know it's going to be a long post, so I'm worrying that some people won't get through the whole thing. And then sometimes I just feel like I'm going crazy.

I'm insecure about what to write. I've decided to share 100 fun facts about my book, whether it's about characters, my writing process, or what music I listen to in order to write. Pretty much anything. But where I'm fine telling you my characters names and how many f-bombs are in the first draft (Yes I counted. You'll have to check out the post to see!), I'm really weird about sharing other details.

It's not just because I don't want to completely spoil my book before I even finish writing it. I'm not giving a lot of plot details away. More like things you wouldn't find by reading the book. But there's a lot of things I'm sharing about myself. Finding 100 facts to write is difficult, so after all the obvious things come to mind, I have to dig deeper. And there's some things I'm uncomfortable sharing.

They're not all ridiculously personal things. Some things I'm just really awkward about sharing. Like the original title for the short story, or my dream casting for my characters. I don't know why I'm so weird about these things. And then there's my issues with identifying as a gay fiction writer, which comes up in a few of the facts I've written. It's like part of me wants to share all these things with the world, and part of me just wants to keep it all to myself.

I'm also just afraid that no one's going to care at all.

Ok, really, it's not all doom and gloom. This just seemed like a good day to vent. I really am looking forward to my 100th post, and coming up with these facts is a lot of fun. I'm also finally going to post the synopsis for my book on that day. So if you're interested in all my nonsense, come back on December 15 and check it out!

Jordan Takes Over: Sweet, Sweet Freedom! And Some Other Sh**

**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**

You know what's great about December? Well, that I was born, but I'll get to that in a minute. What's great about December is that November is over!!! Start the fireworks! Cue the orchestra!

Wait, am I the only one who's happy about November being over? And by November, I really mean...NaNoWriMo. Ugh, it gives me chills just saying it. I suppose you're wondering how it went. But really, come on, do you seriously care?

Ugh. Fine. The final word count was 30,434. Not a whole lot done structure-wise, just the first two chapters, but a lot of random scenes that are later in the book. She never likes to write things in order. So, yeah, we failed. But it's kinda hard to work on something when your muse wants nothing to do with it. And for me, it was like being locked in a cage for a month. Well, guess what? Now I'm free! And I couldn't be more thrilled. Believe me, it takes a lot to thrill me.

So now that the horrible vampire shit show is pushed aside, we can get back to what really matters. Me, duh. We've got some serious editing to do. And I want it done fast. So chop chop. I'm thinking second draft by February, just in time for the *sigh* muse-iversary. Such a stupid word. But there is a whole big trip to plan. And besides getting the concert tickets, she hasn't even started. We've got a lot of work to do so I guess I'd better start kicking her or something.

Aaaaaaaand the best part! What I know you're all just dying for--the 100th post! December 15. It's coming up fast. Less than two weeks now. And it's on my birthday, of course. It's weird, turning 18 doesn't seem all that exciting for me. Well, because there's not much I'll be able to do that I'm not able to do at 17. I don't smoke and I certainly don't want a tattoo or anything. I could buy porn, I guess, but there's this great thing called the internet that hasn't exactly stopped me before. Plus, you know, technically I'll only be 2 years and 10 months old. But I don't want to confuse you.

Let me just tell you, the 100th post is going to be an extravaganza. A list of 100 fun facts, the synopsis, and possibly a title reveal. If the one she's thinking of right now actually sticks. I can't make any promises. Plus, it is my birthday, so I'll be expecting presents!

Hugs and kisses! I know, that was weird for me, too. I must be in a good mood.

JP

The Not So Happy Ending

I have a confession to make: I'm a sucker for a happy ending. I've read several books that have made me completely miserable but then make up for it by everything working out in the end. Sure, the characters go through hell but it ends up being worth it. It makes them stronger, and it makes having to read through the bad stuff worth it.

Well, here's my second confession: my story does not have a happy ending. I don't know how this happened to me. I always write happy endings. Maybe that's partly because the kind of stories I used to write always had a villain--a very distinct antagonist that needed to be defeated in order for the story to end. Well, that isn't the case with my current book. And I haven't read a lot of romance novels, but I'm guessing they usually end happily. Not that my book is 100% romance, but still, it kind of goes against the grain.

I've certainly read books that haven't ended happily before. Usually I want to throw them against the wall. And I have this secret desire to have my characters stay together forever, but I know that can't happen. That's life, really. Things don't always work out perfectly. They're not always wrapped up in a neat little bow. Maybe that's why people like happy endings so much. If things can go so well for these fictional characters, maybe things in life can always end happily, too.

Every story is different. Every character is different. Usually, the writer will know how their story will end before they get to the ending. I always knew this story couldn't have a happy ending. It just wouldn't have made sense. My book would have to span several years rather than just a few months. And in the end, I don't think my readers would be satisfied with the ending. They wouldn't believe it. It's funny, because I think my goal for this book is for the reader to want that happy ending, but to still be satisfied when they don't get it. Hopefully they'll want these characters to stay together, but they'll be able to understand when they can't. My ending is sad, but it's not miserable. It has a silver lining. No one's going to jump off a roof once the pages end. And it's partially about growing up, so a bit of harsh learning is necessary.

Ultimately, you have to choose an ending that works for the story. A happy ending isn't always going to be the right fit. Really, it doesn't matter whether you have a happy ending or a sad one. You just need an ending that makes sense.