Hello, everyone reading this! Thank you so much for stopping by to check out my (drum roll please) 100TH BLOG POST!!! If you've been following me for the past few weeks, you know I've been planning this for a while. And you'll know that this is going to be a long post. So if you make it through to the very end, I salute you!
It's also my muse, Jordan's 18th birthday. He's not all that enthusiastic about it. But he says he accepts praise as well as actual presents. So feel free to leave a comment telling him how wonderful he is. I'm not rolling my eyes right now or anything.
I figured I should keep the introduction short. I now present to you my list of 100 fun facts about my novel. Everything you could ever possibly want to know about my book--how it all started, character details, my writing process. I've put all of the facts into categories just so they wouldn't be all over the place, and there's a "Spoilers!" section in case you want to avoid them altogether. Not that my book is anywhere near being published, but you know.
Enjoy!
1. I started writing this
as a short story on February 15, 2011. Approximately 9:30 PM. I was riding the
train home from my fiction writing class, where I would eventually workshop the
short story (with much regret).
2. I wrote the first lines
on my iPhone. It erased them somehow by accident (after I typed them onto my
computer, of course), along with a poem I was working on.
3. The short story was 19
pages, single spaced, and took me just a week to write.
4. The idea sparked from
watching an investigative special on E! about student-teacher relationships. I
decided I wanted to write about one.
5. When I started it, I
referred to it as my “perverted love story.”
6. The original title was
“Saying Yes.” This referred to an understanding between my characters, that
literally Jordan saying “yes” would mean they would have sex. I erased this
from the novel version so the title doesn’t work anymore.
7. The first people to read
the story were three coworkers at the bookstore I worked at. I gave it to a
fourth but he never read it. In his defense, he gave me a story that I never
read, too. There were just so many typos to get past…
8. I kinda had a nervous
breakdown when one of my classmates critiqued my story as “offensive” and
“clumsily written.” I even went to my professor to talk about it, but to get
some perspective rather than to tattle. This person didn’t write much else so
clearly didn’t put much thought into it, and I suspect she did the same with
everyone’s stories. I think I was mostly mad that I actually put in some effort
when critiquing hers when she clearly didn’t deserve it.
9. My temporary title for
the book (that lasted oh, about a week or so) was The Formula.
10. It took me a couple
months to finally make the decision to develop the story into a novel.
11. This was the third
short story that I’ve developed into a novel. I have some sort of genetic
defect where I’m incapable of writing a short story without wanting it to be
longer.
Straight Girl, Gay Fiction
12. I did not plan
on the story being gay fiction. As I was developing ideas, the characters
decided to both be male. And I don’t fight with my characters.
13. I still
struggle with my identity as a gay fiction writer. ‘Cause, you know, straight
girl. I guess I’m still in my fiction closet (I also can’t decide if this
phrase is offensive or hilarious. Definitely one or the other).
14. I actually
think my quest toward become a writer of gay fiction started when I was
sixteen. I had some ideas but just didn’t know what to do with them. There was
also some manga that a friend let me read…*cough*
15. In case you’re
wondering, yes, I do get turned on by the thought of two men together. There, I
said it. But there’s also something adorable about m/m relationships that I
don’t get from reading/writing m/f ones.
16. I do have more
ideas for gay fiction stories (and not just the stupid vampire one). But I don’t
want to solely identify with this genre because I have other ideas as well.
All About Jordan
17. When I finished
the short story and read it back, I realized that my narrator was completely
lacking a conscience. This was completely unintentional but it worked. So I say
that Jordan is a bit of a sociopath.
18. I didn’t figure
out what Jordan looked like until a few weeks after I finished the story.
19. Jordan is a bit
full of himself, but it’s not completely unfounded. He is good looking, and
girls hit on him all the time. Which he just finds hilarious because he’s gay.
20. Jordan is very
skinny, not short but not ridiculously tall, with brown eyes and short brown
hair (that’s just a bit long in the front).
21. I originally
ended the story with Jordan dating a girl, but people seemed to think that
meant he was “going back to girls” which was not my intention at all.
22. If you want to
get super technical, Jordan is bisexual. He describes himself as “mostly” gay.
I sort of see him dating a couple girls in high school, but by the time he gets
to college, he’ll exclusively go out with guys. It’s kind of reflective of the
fact that it always takes him a long time to make up his mind.
23. Jordan is a
very good singer but he doesn’t realize it until almost the end of the book.
24. I purposely don’t
mention Jordan’s first name in the book until Tom says it when they meet.
25. Jordan’s last
name is Palmer. In my town, there is a Jordan Dr. next to a Palmer St. I
discovered this after I named him.
26. Jordan’s
catchphrase is “Oh, for fuck’s sake.”
27. It was tricky
crafting Jordan’s voice, but now it’s like second nature to me.
Age Differences
28. Jordan is
fifteen and Tom is twenty-eight.
29. I really,
really hate math. I don’t know what I was thinking having Jordan need a math
tutor. I remember absolutely nothing about geometry.
30. One of the
hardest scenes to write is a tutoring session where my characters are going
over geometric proofs, but flirting at the same time. It still needs serious
revision.
31. Jordan is not
the only teenage boy that Tom has been attracted to, but he is the only one to
make him act upon the attraction.
32. The hardest
aspect of the story for me is Tom’s attraction to teenage boys. I didn’t want
him to seem ridiculously perverted, and thought about cutting it entirely and
just having him be attracted to Jordan exclusively. But I felt their structured
relationship wouldn’t work without it. I’ve developed some background info
about Tom’s past and his family that helps explain it more, and he comes off as
more paranoid than perverted.
33. I’ve done a lot
of research on ephebophilia. A lot of this was reading a message board on a
psychology site where a lot of people confess to being pedophiles but refuse to
act upon their urges.
34. The way my
characters’ relationship works is that Jordan will get something (usually food)
in exchange for letting Tom be physical with him in some way. It starts out
very tame and structured. For example, their first time together, Tom makes
Jordan dinner and then they kiss only once. As the story progresses, they
change the rules but the basic give-and-take structure is still in the back of
their minds.
35. Writing this
story has given me far too much knowledge about age of consent laws. It’s
seventeen in NY, which is necessary for me to know for the story. But I know
other states. It’s sixteen where I live. I’ve brought it up in conversation
before.
36. I worry about
the fact that I find my characters to be adorable together. Does that make me
some kind of pervert?
Subplots & Sidekicks
37. Jordan’s two
friends in the book are Brian and Eric. He mentions “other guys” but they’re
never named nor do they speak.
38. The subplot is
reflective of some issues I had with friends at the end of high school. Since I
had to change the actions to fit teenage boys instead of girls, it bears little
resemblance to what actually happened to me.
39. The character
I’m most like is Eric.
40. I make
references to Eric being like the character Moritz from Spring Awakening, my favorite musical (I’m eternally obsessed with
it, and anyone involved with it*). He’s terrified of sex and at one point
Jordan tells him to call him if he feels like sticking a gun in his mouth.
41. Eric is the one
who helps Jordan realize that his passion is for music.
42. Brian beats
Jordan up about halfway through the book. He certainly gets revenge, though.
43. Eric ends up
having to choose between Jordan and Brian. I would mention this in the “Spoilers!”
section, but it’s probably obvious, anyway.
Setting
44. The book takes
place in New York City. I worry that the setting doesn’t come across very
strong because I don’t actually live there.
45. Jordan’s
favorite thing to do is just walk around Central Park.
46. The only “on
location” research I’ve done is going to The Met. Twice.
47. I wanted The
Met scene for the short story but didn’t have time to develop it and fit it in.
So I wrote it for the novel version.
48. There are two
reasons for The Met scene. One is that when you pay to get in, it’s a
“suggested donation,” meaning you can technically decide how much you want to
give. I thought this related to my characters’ relationship very well.
49. The second
reason is that I could have my characters looking at art from Ancient Greece.
‘Cause, you know, pederasty was a big thing back then. And I’m all about
symbolism.
Food, Glorious Food
50. Tom’s job is
being a math tutor, but his real passion is for cooking.
51. Some of my
favorite scenes to write involve food descriptions.
52. When my
characters meet, Tom gives Jordan a key lime pie. It’s kind of a lame joke (Pi!
Geometry! Get it?). Jordan ends up eating the whole thing in one sitting.
53. I’ve never made
fresh pasta but I could give you step-by-step instructions on how to. Tom makes homemade ravioli for their first “date.”
54. Since my
characters make chocolate chip cookies in one scene, I made a batch and took
notes while I was making them and when I ate one.
55. I learned why
you usually use salt in baking from writing this book. It helps to balance out
the flavors and without it, whatever you’re making would be too sweet.
56. Jordan has a
big sweet tooth. This also reflects the sort of people he’s drawn to, meaning
those people are sort of sweet and innocent.
57. There’s a lot
of eating in this story, but Jordan has crazy teenage boy metabolism so he
remains the skinny little twig that he was when the book began.
58. In the third
chapter, there is a lemon-vanilla cupcake with raspberry filling and raspberry
buttercream. Well, of course I’ve made them!
Words, Theme, & Symbolism
59. I make
(extremely) vague references to cannibalism throughout the book that most
people probably wouldn’t even pick up on. Except for the fact that I keep
telling you about it…
60. My book has
colors. Yes, colors, like a school or a sports team. Gray and blue. If I have
book signings, I will only wear these colors. They’re my favorite colors to
wear anyway. My favorite color is gray and it’s all Jordan’s fault.
61. I think I
associate gray with Jordan because it’s a blending of black and white, a sort
of moral ambiguity. I also usual picture him wearing gray.
62. I’ve got a
thing for sexually ambiguous names. There’s Jordan, obviously. The girl he
almost sleeps with is named Madison. And in my unofficial sequel, Jordan’s
boyfriend is named Cameron.
63. The time frame
of the book is from January to July.
64. There are 196
f-bombs in the first draft. The highest in one chapter is 33 in Chapter Twelve.
Every chapter before that has 10 or less. I have no explanation for this.
65. I kinda sorta
stole a line of dialogue from an episode of Scrubs.
66. I only use the
word “love” once in the entire novel. And yes, it is in the phrase “make love.”
You’d be surprised how hard it is to not use a word.
67. I also only use
the word “pedophile” once. It seemed too obvious and technically, Tom is an
ephebophile. But since I didn’t even know that word before I started this
story, I didn’t think Jordan would know what it was, either.
68. As of right
now, there are twenty chapters. I plan on making the chapters much shorter in
the second draft, so there will be more.
69. Actually, there
technically are only nineteen chapters. Because I had to edit the first few
chapters (for a novel-in-progress contest), things shifted before I went back
to where I left off. I didn’t change the numbers for the later chapters, so
technically there is no Chapter 7.
70. I have some
backwards symbolism in my book. Meaning, I have a few objects that I know could be symbolic, I just don’t know
what I want them to be symbolic for yet.
71. The basic theme
of my book is that a person can never completely fight off who they are, even
if they try to suppress bits of themselves.
72. I call my theme
“The Inevitability of Self.” I could totally write an entire AP English style
paper on this.
73. The first draft has
70,900 words.
Music
74. I was convinced
I would never find a song that would fit my book. I now have a full playlist,
as well as playlists for certain characters.
75. The first song
I added to the playlist was “The No Seatbelt Song” by Brand New. I’ve always
loved this song to death but it was ruined by the fact that I associated it
with my first boyfriend. I like to think that Jordan saved the song for me.
It’s one of my favorite songs of all time now.
76. Jordan has over
10,000 songs on his iPod.
77. My two favorite
CDs to listen to for writing this book were Brand New’s The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me and Duncan Sheik’s Covers ‘80s. I imagine that Brand New is
Jordan’s favorite band and Duncan Sheik is my favorite singer (*see #40!), plus
the tone of both CDs seem to fit the book in my mind.
78. I can picture
an opening title sequence for a movie version set to “Stripped” by Duncan
Sheik.
79. The song I
imagine during the sex scene is “Handcuffs” by Brand New.
80. By the end of
the book, Jordan and Eric have started a band and are writing songs. I know I
have to write at least some lyrics. This terrifies me. I have no musical talent
whatsoever.
Movie Deal
81. I fully intend
to write a screenplay version of my book.
82. If my book is ever turned into a movie, I will give
the actors gift baskets filled with Chapstick, breath mints, and antacid. Lots
of kissing and eating.
83. I don’t have a
dream actor for Jordan. This is partially because I haven’t seen an actor who
seemed to fit. It’s also because I haven’t tried very hard, not wanting to
become attached to someone who would get too old to play the part (should all
my movie dreams come true).
84. I have no idea
what the sort of legal issues would be in filming a movie like this, but I don’t
think I would want the actor playing Jordan to be older than 17 (18 if
absolutely necessary). But I also think an actual 15-year-old would be too
young.
85. My absolutely
perfect, don’t even try to change my mind, dream actor for Tom is Jonathan
Groff (*You weren’t paying attention, were you? See #40!!!). After I finished
the short story, I realized Tom looked like him and then I was doomed from that
moment on. I probably did it subconsciously because even in the depths of my
brain I’m still a spaz.
86. I fell in love
with the idea of Anne Hathaway playing Jordan’s mom after seeing one of the
first trailers for The Dark Knight Rises.
I thought she would be able to pull of the combination of cynicism and sarcasm
that is necessary for the character.
87. For about eight
months during this year, both of my dream actors were actually the ages of my
characters (28 and 30). Coincidence? I think not!
Spoilers!
88. Jordan kind of
gets the idea for his and Tom’s relationship from his mother, who has a similar “get things in exchange for sex” kind of relationship with her boss,
who is also about twice her age. She never actually mentions any of it, but
Jordan is pretty sure of what is going on.
89. Jordan’s mom
was 15 when he was born. I don’t reveal this until about halfway through the
novel.
90. There isn’t a
single reference to Jordan’s father. He has no idea and doesn’t actually care,
so it seemed unimportant to mention. Plus I like not answering an obvious
question.
91. I came up with
a plot twist (and one of my favorite parts of the book) while having a half-drunk,half-asleep dream about my characters.
92. The twist
involves the fact that Jordan and Tom both almost cheat on each other on the
same night. But it’s hard to call it cheating since they’re not actually in a
relationship.
93. Jordan has to
come out to four different people over the course of the novel. One time isn’t
actually necessary, since the person already knows. Three of the times it’s completely calculated and to him,
serves some greater purpose.
94. Jordan and Tom
have a ridiculously intense fight about ¾ into the novel. It upset me writing
it and actually gives me chills when I go back and read it.
95. When one of my
coworkers gave me back the short story, she said, “I don’t think this was a
story about a pedophile and a bi-curious teenager. This is a story about a
pedophile and a sadist.” I don’t necessarily think Jordan is a sadist but it was a big sigh of relief
for me because she got it. I don’t think anyone in my fiction class understood
this.
96. There is a hand
job scene in the book and it’s actually more explicit than the sex scene.
97. Jordan and Tom
have a rather scandalous conversation via text message while Jordan is at lunch
at school. The texts themselves are good, but trying to balance them out with
what else is happening in the scene is very difficult.
98. I wanted the
sex scene to be a bit vague. Initially I thought this was because Jordan didn’t
care about it by the time it happens (this fits the short story), but now it’s
more like he’s sad and doesn’t want to admit it, and also is embarrassed to
share all the messy details.
99. The last line
of dialogue is, “Well, thanks.” It’s what Jordan says to Tom before he leaves.
And finally...
100. I finished the
novel on October 11, 2013 at 11:50 PM.
There you have it! I can't believe it's actually over. I'm thinking I'll take a quick break from blogging, at least for tomorrow. I don't have to stick to my rigid schedule anymore but I do want to stay active. I'll probably be back on Wednesday. I hope you enjoyed all of the nonsense that was my 100th post. Now I just have to come up with an idea for 200...
