B is for a Blue Binder

All right! *cracks knuckles* I'm going to attempt to combine my A to Z Challenge post with my IWSG post. If you haven't heard of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, check out Alex J. Cavanaugh's blog to learn more. Here goes!

                

I went into a Staples recently, spent about five seconds in one aisle, then walked out empty handed. I had one of those paranoid moments when I was afraid the staff would think I stole something. But that's a different kind of insecurity, I suppose. The kind of insecurity I was really feeling at the moment was a sort of desperate need for perfection. Or maybe I was just being really picky.

Ok, ok, I'll explain. I was looking for a binder. But not just any binder. I need a binder in which to put the second draft of my novel. I haven't printed any of my revisions yet, and I like having a hard copy as well as a digital one. But this is my life's work, my masterpiece--it can't just go anywhere!

I've mentioned before that my novel has colors. You know, like a sports team or a school would. My high school's colors were black and teal, college was purple and gold. Well, my book is gray and blue. I don't know when it happened, exactly. I just started associating each color with one of my main characters, and then I started wearing these colors together a lot, and it just kind of stuck. I could go into extensive details about why I chose these particular colors, but that's probably a story for another day.

I have my first draft printed and stored in a gray binder. It took me forever to find the perfect one, and had to buy it online, actually. See, I knew that it just had to be gray, that putting my book in some random colored binder would be a violation to myself, my muse, and the universe. It just wouldn't have felt right. And so for my second draft, of course it has to be blue. But the right kind of blue. One that I haven't been able to find yet.

Ok, this is about more than just a binder, really. It's not even about seeking perfection like you would when you actually write your book. It's more about balance. I do believe that everything happens for a reason and that the universe has a plan for everyone. Oddly enough, I'm pretty sure I've figured most of that plan out. I may be right or I may be completely nuts, only time will tell. But in the meantime, I have to do what feels right. If I stuck my second draft in a pink binder, it would make me cringe every time I picked it up. Does that make me insecure? Probably.

Anyone else picky about where you store your hard copies? Figure out the universe's plan for you yet? Or do you think I'm crazy?

A is for Adventure

Actually, today I want to talk about three adventures--one I'm starting right now, one I've been on for what feels like forever, and one that I'm planning for the near future.

I think choosing to be a writer, or even just writing a particular story, is like embarking on an adventure. You have to prepare yourself, plan things out. It takes a lot of commitment and a lot of work. You might encounter obstacles along the way that you didn't expect. But you learn to work past them. I think the only difference with writing is that sometimes it's hard to know when the adventure is over. 

Obviously today is the first day for the A to Z Challenge. Most of you would probably agree that this is a sort of adventure. Not only do we have to blog for 26 days, but have each post correspond with that day's letter. Some people have even committed to themes, although I chose not to take that route. I figured all of my blog posts are usually about writing in some way, anyway. Or maybe I just ran out of time to come up with something more specific. But anyway! I've made the commitment. I haven't done all that much planning. Sometimes it will be difficult. But mostly it will be fun, and hopefully I'll get to connect with a lot more writers and bloggers in the process. 

I've been on another writing adventure for quite some time. I've been working on my current WIP in one form or another for over three years. It started as a short story for a college class, and that could have been the end of it. I could have edited it, maybe tried sending it to a literary magazine. But I made a different choice. I thought there was a lot more there beneath the surface, so I decided instead to adapt the story into a novel. That took a lot of work. At times it was exhilarating, at other times frustrating. Life got in the way, lack of inspiration, dealing with anxiety and depression. It's taken me a lot longer to get where I am, but I think the momentum has picked up recently. It took me about two and a half years to write the first draft, but the second draft is coming along a lot faster. Maybe fixing the novel's problems is easier than figuring out what happens in the first place. But this adventure still seems never-ending. Once the second draft is done, then there's querying, agents, hopefully a book deal. And it won't end there, either. It's scary, but I'm looking forward to it. 

And then there's this new adventure I'm planning. I'm hoping within the next two months to quit my job and try writing full time. This is beyond scary. But I think it's time to do it. There are a few things I have to get in order before leaving my job, but I'm hoping to be out of there by June. If I could devote all of my time to writing, then I could get so much more done, instead of just struggling day to day to get out a paragraph because I'm too tired or have no time. I really need to do what's best for me at this point, and staying at a job I hate just because I'm used to it and it feels safe isn't the right choice anymore. 

Well, those are my adventures for the moment. What sort of adventures are you embarking on? Looking forward to meeting some new people through the A to Z challenge!

Another Kind of Doomsday

Today's doomsday is a lot scarier than the one I had last week. Today my staycation is over and I have to go back to work.

It was not nearly as successful as I thought it would be. The week seemed to fly by. I did get three chapter edits done, but that's pretty much it. No agent research, no working on a resume or query letter. No A to Z posts written. I wanted to get so much more done, but it just didn't happen.

So yes, I'm starting the A to Z challenge tomorrow without a single post written ahead of time. I know how horrible this is. But I've also been a procrastinator all my life, so it should turn out ok. Hopefully I'll be able to get some posts done in my free time instead of writing them all daily. That could be a disaster.

Some kinda sorta good news--I went over my bills and figured out how much money I need every month, and based on my savings right now, I could survive 13 months without a job. This is good because it's a lot more than I thought it would be. I was really only planning on being jobless for 3 to 4 months at the most. So I'm thinking that this plan could work out. There are a lot of things I have to do before I put in my notice at work, though, but I want to get them done as soon as possible. I've really wasted enough of my life at this job already.

Oh wow, is this the most depressing day ever? I think I'm making the right decision, but I do want to finish my second draft first. That way I'd be in a good place with my writing and honestly, I want to get reactions from the people I work with who are reading it.

Well, I suppose it's almost time to get ready for work. Boo hiss.

Doomsday!

Just popping in real quick today. I know I haven't blogged in forever. I also haven't written in forever. But today is DOOMSDAY and I must spend the whole day writing. 

Oh, it's not nearly as bad as I make it sound. It was just another one of those deadlines I set for myself forever ago that I once again didn't meet. But it's also the sort of thing that will hopefully kick me in the butt. 

It's also the third day of my staycation and I have gotten nothing done yet! It's ok, though. Monday was my fiance's birthday and yesterday was my laundry/errand day. So now it's writing time! I also really really need to plan some A to Z Challenge posts. I haven't thought of a theme yet so I'm thinking I probably won't have one, but obviously every post will be about writing. 

But since it's DOOMSDAY I will be working on the second draft today. All day. That's it. So...off I go! 

Surrender the Sky Cover Reveal

I'm stepping one toe out of my comfort zone and helping a fellow writer reveal her cover! Isn't it gorgeous?? Congrats, Meradeth!

The third book in the Sary Society series, SURRENDER THE SKY, has a shiny new cover!

Release Date: May, 2014

Synopsis:

Gabby lives by two unbreakable rules: don’t expose her kind, the Sary, and don’t fall in love—too bad some rules are made to be broken.

When Gabby’s most difficult charge accidentally shoots her in front of a class full of students, the event exposes her carefully hidden identity. She shifts from looking like a normal teen to her secret Sary form, revealing her wings and the existence of her kind—immortals who try to keep people from committing suicide. Her incident attracts the attention of the next leader of the Sary, Jassen, who offers her an impossible bargain: she can keep her wings if she makes amends with those who know the truth. Things get more complicated when a rebel Sary, intent on exposing them to the world, starts interfering with Gabby’s work. And there’s no denying her attraction to Jassen, who is torn between his duties and his heart. With threats at every turn and her immortality on the line, Gabby has to find a way to save the Sary or surrender the sky forever.

Surrender the Sky is a stand alone title that follows COLORS LIKE MEMORIES and THE CHEMISTRY OF FATE, with cameos from several of the characters in the first books! It will be available in May wherever ebooks are sold!

Join in the celebration for a $10 Amazon gift card! Use the rafflecopter below for entries :)
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Find Meradeth Houston online at: www.MeradethHouston.com
Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, and of course her blog!

Step by Step

Thanks to everyone who stopped by on Wednesday and left me their thoughts. I really appreciate it. I think I got some good advice that I'll definitely take into consideration. This certainly isn't a decision I can jump into headfirst. It's going to take some time and a lot of planning. So I came to a realization this morning that was actually really amusing.

The people I should really be taking advice from are the characters in my book.

I know, I know, sounds crazy. But it was kind of staring me in the face the whole time. Early on in the book, Jordan compares figuring out their relationship to a math problem the two are working on. "Step by step, right?"

Anyway, I could go on for days describing my characters and how their relationship relates to my thought process right now, but I'll skip ahead. The first thing I have to do is plan. Lots and lots of planning. I have to make a list of the things I want to get done before I even put in my notice at work--pay off my credit card, figure out how much money I spend on bills each month, get my savings up to a certain amount. I also really want to finish my second draft before leaving my job because a lot of my coworkers are reading it and I just really want to get some responses in person. Can't help myself, really. And if I can get my book query ready by the end of my staycation this month, I'll be in a better position than I am now.

This whole thing is going to be a long, step by step process. I'll want to create my non-working daily schedule, map out every single goal I have in mind. But I honestly think that it's going to happen within the next few months. Best case scenario, my book gets published and I earn enough to not work (I can dream, ok?). Second best, I get my resume done and find a job that I actually like, or get into freelancing so I can work from home. There's plenty of possibilities that are all better than the situation I'm in now.

We'll see how it goes. For now I just have to take it one step at a time.

Job Insecurity

It's that time again! The first Wednesday of every month is the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group. Click the link to visit Alex J. Cavanaugh's blog and learn more!

I had an interesting day on Friday. I spent the morning writing a blog post which I was really excited about, then spent the rest of the day visiting other blogs and getting another chapter edited before sending it out to my readers. One reader got through the chapter right away and even quoted it on his Facebook. I had work at 5 and I was in such a good mood that I couldn't stop smiling. But then, of course, I was at work. It didn't take long for the smile to vanish. I realized that this is a pretty accurate representation of my life at this point.

When I first started at my job almost three years ago, I was in a tight spot. The place I had worked at closed the day before my college graduation. I had no job and needed to quickly find a place to live as well. I was desperate. So when I applied and was told to come back for an interview, I was just glad to get anything. Since I hadn't quite figured out what sort of career I wanted, I thought this would be a good job to have while I finished my novel and figured things out.

Well, that was a long time ago. If you've been to this blog often, you know how long it took me to get the first draft of my novel done. And if I really admit it, my job is at least partially to blame for that. I have an erratic schedule that's never the same week to week. When I work days, I'm usually too tired afterwards to get anything done. When I work nights, I spend the whole day dreading going in. Honestly, this job had the opposite results of what I originally thought. It kept me, and still keeps me, from getting what I need to get done.

I've been thinking about it for a while now, and the more I consider it, the more of a good idea it seems. I've considered finding another job, but I don't know what sort of career I want if writing books doesn't work as quickly as I'd like. I don't want a lateral move--a job that has nothing to do with what I care about or went to college for. And after almost three years and several raises, I would probably be forced to take a pay cut if I changed to another random job. That's part of why I've stayed at my job for so long. I've always been a hard worker, as well, and am in a slight position of authority/importance. I know if I left my job I'd be letting a lot of people down.

But there comes a point where I have to think about myself. My job makes me miserable. It's not what I want and honestly, I've put up with it for far too long. But what I'm thinking about doing is not getting a new job. It's having no job at all, at least for a few months. I have enough money saved to cover bills for quite some time, although I am concerned with eating up my savings. It may be necessary for my sanity, though. What I want to do is take a few months to focus completely on writing. Finish my book, get queries out, spend more time blogging and networking. I could also search for freelance jobs or even a full time career that's related to writing or publishing. I mean, I don't even have a resume, because I never have time to sit down and do that sort of thing. If all of my time could be focused on writing, it wouldn't be like it is now, just getting whatever I can done in my little free time. I could make a schedule for myself, work on specific things every day, have goals in mind.

I'm not really sure what exactly I want to do yet. I know I have to give it a lot more thought before I take any action, talk to different people, and have things mapped out. It could take a few months just to get to the point where I can quit my job. I'm definitely open to some advice here. But the thought of it isn't all that scary. It's exciting. Which leads me to believe it's the right thing to do.