IWSG (because I can't think of a title...)

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

So...I haven't been blogging for a while now. Or writing, actually (well, that's not all that unbelievable...). I've just been drained lately. Physically, emotionally, creatively. Work has been particularly stressful lately. So when I'm not working I pretty much just want to sleep. I've even started taking naps in the afternoon. I hate naps. So anyway, I just haven't been feeling the inspiration lately. I haven't even come up with blog ideas, but honestly, I haven't been trying very hard to find them. I guess I just felt like taking a break.

So of course, I have no idea what to write about! Luckily the IWSG folks have added a new feature: a question to answer! This month's is: What's the best thing someone has ever said about your writing?

Hmm. Well, ok, when I first read this question, it kind of depressed me. I honestly couldn't think of anything. I could tell you several instances where people told me my story was awful (ok, two), but I don't think anyone's interested in that. But good? And something specific? That was tough. I actually had to go digging for something, in a long buried Facebook message from a former coworker who read the original short story that would turn into UL. He said: "I am very impressed with your ability to flesh out your characters and environments. You have an attention to detail that is of a high order, without being overwrought, and you know just when to pepper dialogue into the exposition." So that's good, right? He went on to provide some constructive criticism as well, adding that "I hope this isn't too harsh. I'm harshest on work that I like the most." It was actually kind of nice to go back and read this since I don't let anyone read my stuff, like, ever.

Perhaps I would add another honorable mention, because it wasn't really something good that was said, but the reaction was exactly what I was looking for. When I was sending out my second draft chapters as I rewrote them, I did have a few friends and coworkers who were actually keeping up for a good chunk of the book (you know, before everyone decided to just give up *sigh*). I'm sure I've mentioned the twist at the end of Chapter 17 before. It's one of my favorite moments in the book, actually. Well, the day after I sent it out, I went to to work and when another coworker came in, she walked up to me and screamed "WHAT DID YOU DO????" which honestly was the exact response I would want from a reader after that particular chapter. So it was pretty uplifting for me.

Ok, so I started this post thinking I had nothing to say and I've rambled on forever. That's usually how it goes, isn't it?

Jordan Takes Over: But I Don't Wanna!

**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**

People like to bitch and moan. It's just what we do. It makes us feel important. Especially when other people are around to hear us bitching. I mean, would you read a book or watch a movie or listen to ten songs in a row where everyone is happy? No, because that's boring. We like other people's misery even more than our own. It just makes for good entertainment.

People like to bitch the most, I think, when they have to do something that they don't want to. Like me writing this blog post. Wait, what? Did I say that? Prove it. Things like, going to the dentist, or getting your car inspected (I live in NYC, I don't need a car, haha!). Or maybe just going to your job every day. Every second can't be filled with great, fun things that you love doing, right? It's just part of life.

Case in point, Chapter Three. Well, the first half of it, anyway. We finished the edit (if you can call it that, it was basically perfect already) of Chapter Two on Tuesday, but you wanna know what's happened since then? A whole lot of nothing. And it's not my fault.

Don't believe me, do you? Look, I am perfectly willing and able to provide inspiration for this scene. I've even suggested ways to change it so it works better and fits in some setting crap that we haven't put in the first two chapters (Yes, it was my idea. No one is here to deny it, right? So it's the truth, then.). But a certain Miss Writer Lady (who shall remain nameless) doesn't want to work on it. Why? Because it's too hard! Boo hoo.

This is a scene that needs to pretty much be completely rewritten. And that's too hard and scary to even attempt, right? Hey, remember last month when I talked about how you blame your muses when you can't write? Well, that is not always the case, thank you very much. Sometimes you're too scared to write or you just don't want to do it because it's too hard and needs too much work,

Well, GET OVER IT. Guess what happens when you don't even try? Nothing! At least if you make an attempt, you'll eventually get through it. It could take forever, but eventually it will happen. And then you can move onto the next scene which is way more fun anyway.

So, in summary: Suck it up and stop your bitching.

JP

Wait For It

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

I frequently have a hard time motivating myself, especially when it comes to writing. The words just don't seem to come, so I don't do anything to seek them out. I spend most of my time just waiting for inspiration, motivation--whatever that spark may be that finally gets me writing again. But most of the time it doesn't come. How much time have I spent (and continue to spend) just waiting? 

It's not exactly something I'm proud of, but I can't really help it. I feel like I'm always waiting for the right moment, the right time. What if it never comes? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? I guess the easy answer is--WRITE. Just write anyway. Even if it's hard. Even if every single word is a struggle, it would be better than nothing. But most of the time, that's easier said than done. 

Some days I think I could do great things if I only tried a little bit harder. Other days I don't feel capable of much of anything. But I don't really think it's a fear of failure that keeps me from trying. So what is it? 

Sometimes I wonder how other writers can bust out book after book, publishing several per year. I'm taking forever just to get one done. I just don't get how they do it. I wish I could write like that. I keep waiting for some breaking point where I'm finally able to just write pages and pages. Even when I have time to sit down and write, it still doesn't happen.

Waiting may sometimes feel like the right thing to do, but is it the best thing? What if that perfect moment, that perfect motivation never comes? I could spend my whole life waiting for it, or I could actually try. Try to take that inspiration instead of waiting around for it to show up. If you take control, then maybe you won't have to wait anymore.

**If anyone knows where I got the title for this post (and in a strange way that would take too long to explain, the inspiration behind it), you get a cupcake. :D

Two Milestones for the Price of One!

Greetings! It's a special day here at the FFP (wait, I've never called it that before...). Not only is this my 400th blog post, it's also my FIFTH blogiversary. It's been exactly five years since I wrote my first blog post. I can't believe it's been that long, actually, or that I've written that many posts!

So I had a hard time figuring out what exactly I should do for this post. I knew I wanted to do something to celebrate, but nothing as crazy as another Muse Party or some other blogfest. Then I thought I could share some of my favorite posts from over the years, maybe even pick one for certain categories (favorite blogfest, favorite A to Z post, favorite old post with no comments). But then I realized I did something very similar for my third blogiversary. This wouldn't have been a big deal except a lot of the posts or category ideas that came to mind were already listed in that post.

So I decided to tweak the idea just a bit. I decided to just share posts from the last 100. I didn't want to share too many since I know there's no way people will actually go back and read them all, but here are just a few of my favorite highlights from the past 100 posts! (I went backwards chronologically, well, because it was easier to go through the posts that way...)

1. Evolving
My favorite post from this year's A to Z Challenge. Not only do our characters evolve as we continue to write them, but we evolve as writers as well. I always think it's funny when I read something I wrote a long time ago and see how awful it is, when at the time I thought it was fantastic!

2. The Muse Party Blogfest: (Anti-) Valentine's Day Edition
Because I had to! My favorite part may have been making the cartoons...

3. Something Clicked
Just because it was really awesome when this happened and I finally felt like I was ready to write again.

4. My Muse's Boyfriend
Probably the post that made me smile the most. Even though sometimes I want to strangle Adam...that pushy, perfect haired jerk. He's adorable, though. Dammit.

5. Jordan Takes Over: Let Sleeping Muses Lie
Well, I had to include a JTO, of course! While this wasn't exactly his most insightful post, it was definitely the funniest...

Five posts for five years is good, right? I didn't want to go too crazy. Well, that and I've been writing a lot of "woe is me" kind of posts for a while (until post #3 happened, basically). So those are no fun. 400 posts sure feels like a lot, so hopefully I'll still have ideas for the next 100!

A Post (Because I Have To)

Where the heck did my weekend go?? Seriously, it's like it disappeared into some sort of wormhole. Which is why I'm scrambling to get a blog post done on Sunday night before Game of Thrones starts (because I'm definitely going to bed once it's over). So...greetings from the past! I would wait until Monday to write a more decent post, but I have to work at 6:30. And if I don't get a post out until the afternoon, I may as well not bother. But I could just skip this post altogether, right? Haha, WRONG. I actually have to post today if I want my 400th post to line up with my blogiversary on Wednesday. So there.

Anyway, in case you hadn't figured it out yet, this post is not going to be very substantial. But I guess I will share some cool things with you.

1. I have (mostly) figured out what I want to do for my post this Wednesday. It's extremely similar to what I did for my third blogiversary post, but I figured no one would remember that. Wait, except I just told you. Hmm. Anyway, still figuring out the exact way I want to go about it, but it will be done!

2. In other writing news, I ACTUALLY GOT MY REWRITE OF CHAPTER ONE DONE. Sorry for the caps. It's that exciting. Chapter one was being a bitch (or maybe Jordan was...). But anyway, I got it done and now I can move on. I ended up not writing that little setting snippet yet, mostly because there was way too much going on in the chapter already. I may try to squeeze it in the second chapter, but I think that chapter is already perfect so we'll see. I may just try to write it first and then see where it can fit in.

3. I got my wedding dress! I'm incredibly low maintenance--I only tried on two dresses and ended up going with the first one I tried. Plus I'm thinking it should be fairly easy to pack for the trip to Vegas. Woot. Oh! I didn't even want a veil but my consultant and fiance gained up on me and I bought one anyway (I had no idea he cared about that sort of thing, either). I'm still not sure if I actually want it, but I got it for half off, so it's not a huge deal.

4. I made these awesome brownies over the weekend even though I'm trying to lose weight. They have a peanut butter swirl and Reese's pieces. Because why not? I made my sister keep most of them. Most of them...

5. We recently got a new mattress and a new bedspread so I may or may not be trying to redecorate my apartment. It's difficult because there's not a lot of space in here. But I'm hoping to purge some of the stuff we don't need. And maybe put some shelves up. I've been dying to reclaim my desk to actually use, you know, as a desk. Right now it's on my fiance's side of the bed and is just covered in junk. Having an actual writing space would be awesome. But it's going to be a slow process. We have too much stuff and nowhere to put it! 

Well, I think I'll leave it there before I start to ramble too much. I'll be back on Wednesday for the extravaganza!

Chipping Away At It

Now comes the time of year where I have zero idea what to blog about! Here goes nothin'...

So I've been slowly trying to get back into the editing groove. Except, well, I've never really had a groove. I usually just wait around for inspiration to strike and then try to milk it for all it's worth, then once it's all gone start all over again. It's really not the best method. Waiting around for inspiration means that you're doing a whole lot of nothing in the meantime.

I'm trying to get in the mindset that it's ok to do a little bit at a time. If you can only get one paragraph done each day, that's still better than nothing. If you wait around hoping to get a lot done at once, you may end up not doing anything at all for most of the time. Just getting a little bit done everyday is still progress, right?

Right now I'm still trying to get through my first chapter revision. One of those random bursts of inspiration helped me get through the first scene, which was great, but that urge to write like crazy fizzled out after a few days. Since then I barely even looked at the chapter. If I kept waiting around for another one of those bursts, then chances are I wouldn't get anything done at all.

So I went back to the second scene. I had a few lines of dialogue already in mind so I started with that. I just imagined what was happening in the scene and started writing. It wasn't a particularly long scene, just enough to introduce some minor characters, really, and a little splash of backstory. But I got through it. I hit another one of my check points. With each one that gets done, I get a little bit closer to the chapter being done. And since this is the hardest chapter rewrite until I get around to the fifth/sixth chapter area, it will be really easy to get a huge chunk of revision done once the first chapter is complete.

So if I break down the first chapter, it looks like this:

1. Classroom scene (DONE)
2. Cafeteria scene (DONE)
3. Possible setting establishing scene (I'm still deciding if I need this but at this point I haven't even mentioned where the story takes place and if it's not in the first chapter it probably won't be mentioned until Chapter 3, which may be weird)
4. Home scene/phone call with mom (Not done)
5. Last scene--characters meet! (Basically done because it doesn't need much rewriting)

SO. Bottom line--one major scene to rewrite and the possible snippet to write and then the first chapter will be done! And then it's on to chapter two, which I literally have one editing note for. So I'm very slowly chipping away at this chapter. Maybe if I think small steps instead of big picture, this will actually get done sometime soon.

In other news, as long as I post something next Monday, my 400th blog post can be next Wednesday, which also happens to be my 5th blogiversary. Sounds awesome, right?? Except I have no idea what to do for it. Something bigger than a regular blog post, ideally, but not nearly as huge as say, a blogfest. I don't know. Suggestions are welcome...or I could totally just phone it in...

A to Z Reflections 2016

Now that the A to Z Challenge is finally sadly over, it's time to reflect!

Pheeeeeew. Ok. This year was a rough one. I'd like to get through the reflections without getting ridiculously negative. I kind of felt like I was pulling teeth from everyone, including myself, through the whole thing. And I think all of the problems started before the Challenge even began.

I chose my theme, The Revision Project, because at the time I was really excited about revising my novel. I thought that by focusing 26 posts on different topics that all focused on revision, it would help me figure some things out, maybe get some good feedback and new ideas from other people. Well, it didn't exactly turn out as I had hoped, on any of those fronts (for the most part).

Here's where I went horribly wrong. I never fully figured out what the hell I was doing with my posts. I wanted to focus on my book, but the problem is that it's not published and no one has read it yet. So while the topics would all be inspired by it, I still wanted to make the posts more universal so that people could relate. But that made things more muddled. Was I asking for advice or was I offering my own writing tips? Or was I just rambling? For most posts, it ended up being a mixture of the three.

I made it even worse, though, with what I'll call the "bookends" of my posts, both of which left me disappointed. At the end of all the posts, I added on one or two questions to hopefully get people talking in the comments. I think that part worked too well. If I had made these posts completely about offering writing tips, this would have been more successful. People responded with their own ideas and experiences related to the topic, which was great. But on those posts where I was really searching for feedback on my own work, those questions seem to lead people away. It was hard to get actual feedback, and on this point, I think my whole theme was flawed. How can you get real feedback on something that is completely out of context? Which just leads me back to the fact that I never really figured out what I wanted from these posts.

The other bookend turned out to be mostly useless. I started each post with a quote from my novel that related to the topic. I did this because I wanted to include something fun in each post, and I knew that finding pictures would be next to impossible. But the quotes turned out to be pretty much pointless. I don't know if this was because they were out of context (again!), or if people just skipped over them to get to the actual post. The only post where the quote really got a response was for "Opening Scene," probably because I pointed out that the quote was my new first line. So I'm thinking unless I made reference to the quotes, they were most likely skipped over.

I guess the most disappointing thing is that my theme actually had the opposite effect of what I wanted. I got zero revising done during the month of April. I didn't really figure anything out, either, that I didn't already know. There were a couple of comments that got me thinking here and there (I think most of them were from the same person! No I won't tell you who *laughs evilly*), but mostly it was just a lot of rehashing ideas I'd already thought of and not even trying to do any actual revising.

But anyway, I've rambled enough! I wish I had chosen a different theme, but none of my other ideas were developed enough, so I would have been struggling for topics. I'm hoping for next year to come up with a more fun theme, and to do so waaaaaaaaaaaay in advance this time. I still have that guilty pleasures idea (but I still don't think I have 26, so maybe I'll combine it with something like obsessions? I don't know...). Or maybe just songs from Broadway musicals. Something fun. We'll see. I'd like to not think about it for a couple of months...