My Brain Doesn't Work

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

I should be honest, I've been staring at this post for a while now trying to figure out what to write. I don't know if I'm just too tired right now or just burnt out from everything. Work continues to be nuts. I work in a hospital so it's hard to predict--it could be crazy one day and slow the next. Right now it's pretty much just crazy. Plus this is the time of year where everyone takes vacations. I've actually had to be in charge quite a few times while my manager is off so that can be stressful. So I'm tired all of the time.

Then there's wedding/Vegas trip planning! I still have SO MUCH to do. I do have the most important things done, though. But I feel like there are still so many things I have to buy and plan and pack and yada yada. I also just got contact lenses for the first time, which is so weird for me. I've been wearing glasses since I was ten. I feel weird without them. I tend to switch back and forth depending on how tired I am when I wake up in the morning.

So I haven't had too much time for writing lately. I've been trying to finish up my Chapter 3 edit, but the first half of it pretty much needed to be completely rewritten. With the second half, I'm just trying to make the end more interesting. I think in the last draft it was a little boring, and I like to end the chapters not on a cliffhanger, exactly, but with something to make the reader want to keep going. But this chapter does have the cupcake eating scene, which is one of my favorites.

Luckily, we now have questions to answer for the IWSG, which is great when my brain isn't working. This month's question is: What was your very first piece of writing as an aspiring writer? Where is it now? Collecting dust or has it been published?

I love this question because I actually still have my first piece of writing. It was a children's book that I wrote when I was eight! I even drew all of the illustrations myself (poorly). I went on to write a whole series of books about mice before I switched to novels, but I keep this first one as a look back to where it all started.

Do you still have your first piece of writing? Anyone else's brain malfunctioning?

Jordan Takes Over: Can You Keep a Secret?

**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**

Everybody get in real close because this post is top secret! I love a juicy secret, don't you?? I'm kind of an expert on secrets, actually. There's like at least ten of them in my first book. Seriously. Sadly, this secret isn't all that juicy, but it's still a secret. So everybody be quiet!

As much as I hate to ask, I need some advice. Ugh. I can usually figure things out on my own, but you know, I had to write a post today anyway so this seemed like a good idea. So! Next Tuesday is Sarah's birthday. And I guess if I want to be a good muse I should get her a present or something. But what?

Before you state the obvious, let's run through some options first. I mean, due to the weird worldly restrictions of the muse-writer relationship, I can't just go out and buy her something. Nothing's ever easy, is it? So that limits my options. Now I could totally do something music related, like write her a song. But that's kinda weird, right? I don't even write songs for my boyfriends. Well, ok, I've only had two. And a half...ish. Ok, I have written songs about the half-ish one, but those are secrets, too. So, shh! But anyway, a song probably isn't the way to go. I could finally tell her the name of my band, but that's just way too easy. She's gotta work for that information. I could make her an awesome playlist or something. I mean, she literally only listens to Hamilton. For months now. There's this thing called variety, people! She can't be reasoned with! MAKE IT STOP.

Anyway, ok, so, the obvious thing to give is INSPIRATION. I guess. It's not like it would take a ridiculous amount of effort on my part. But it's not exactly a concrete concept, either. How much inspiration are we talking about here? And when? And most importantly, at what point can I stop and take a nap??

I mean, I've gotta work around schedules here! Do you think she'll actually want inspiration on her birthday, or will she be too busy? So when? Before? After? How many hours are we talking here? I have a life. Or should we focus more on the quantity of writing? Say, one chapter? Two? I don't know. I'm not the writer here! That's why I'm asking you people! And don't say infinite inspiration! That's just crazy.

Well anyway, I guess I'll figure something out. Hopefully I won't just fall asleep and forget...

JP

IWSG (because I can't think of a title...)

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

So...I haven't been blogging for a while now. Or writing, actually (well, that's not all that unbelievable...). I've just been drained lately. Physically, emotionally, creatively. Work has been particularly stressful lately. So when I'm not working I pretty much just want to sleep. I've even started taking naps in the afternoon. I hate naps. So anyway, I just haven't been feeling the inspiration lately. I haven't even come up with blog ideas, but honestly, I haven't been trying very hard to find them. I guess I just felt like taking a break.

So of course, I have no idea what to write about! Luckily the IWSG folks have added a new feature: a question to answer! This month's is: What's the best thing someone has ever said about your writing?

Hmm. Well, ok, when I first read this question, it kind of depressed me. I honestly couldn't think of anything. I could tell you several instances where people told me my story was awful (ok, two), but I don't think anyone's interested in that. But good? And something specific? That was tough. I actually had to go digging for something, in a long buried Facebook message from a former coworker who read the original short story that would turn into UL. He said: "I am very impressed with your ability to flesh out your characters and environments. You have an attention to detail that is of a high order, without being overwrought, and you know just when to pepper dialogue into the exposition." So that's good, right? He went on to provide some constructive criticism as well, adding that "I hope this isn't too harsh. I'm harshest on work that I like the most." It was actually kind of nice to go back and read this since I don't let anyone read my stuff, like, ever.

Perhaps I would add another honorable mention, because it wasn't really something good that was said, but the reaction was exactly what I was looking for. When I was sending out my second draft chapters as I rewrote them, I did have a few friends and coworkers who were actually keeping up for a good chunk of the book (you know, before everyone decided to just give up *sigh*). I'm sure I've mentioned the twist at the end of Chapter 17 before. It's one of my favorite moments in the book, actually. Well, the day after I sent it out, I went to to work and when another coworker came in, she walked up to me and screamed "WHAT DID YOU DO????" which honestly was the exact response I would want from a reader after that particular chapter. So it was pretty uplifting for me.

Ok, so I started this post thinking I had nothing to say and I've rambled on forever. That's usually how it goes, isn't it?

Jordan Takes Over: But I Don't Wanna!

**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**

People like to bitch and moan. It's just what we do. It makes us feel important. Especially when other people are around to hear us bitching. I mean, would you read a book or watch a movie or listen to ten songs in a row where everyone is happy? No, because that's boring. We like other people's misery even more than our own. It just makes for good entertainment.

People like to bitch the most, I think, when they have to do something that they don't want to. Like me writing this blog post. Wait, what? Did I say that? Prove it. Things like, going to the dentist, or getting your car inspected (I live in NYC, I don't need a car, haha!). Or maybe just going to your job every day. Every second can't be filled with great, fun things that you love doing, right? It's just part of life.

Case in point, Chapter Three. Well, the first half of it, anyway. We finished the edit (if you can call it that, it was basically perfect already) of Chapter Two on Tuesday, but you wanna know what's happened since then? A whole lot of nothing. And it's not my fault.

Don't believe me, do you? Look, I am perfectly willing and able to provide inspiration for this scene. I've even suggested ways to change it so it works better and fits in some setting crap that we haven't put in the first two chapters (Yes, it was my idea. No one is here to deny it, right? So it's the truth, then.). But a certain Miss Writer Lady (who shall remain nameless) doesn't want to work on it. Why? Because it's too hard! Boo hoo.

This is a scene that needs to pretty much be completely rewritten. And that's too hard and scary to even attempt, right? Hey, remember last month when I talked about how you blame your muses when you can't write? Well, that is not always the case, thank you very much. Sometimes you're too scared to write or you just don't want to do it because it's too hard and needs too much work,

Well, GET OVER IT. Guess what happens when you don't even try? Nothing! At least if you make an attempt, you'll eventually get through it. It could take forever, but eventually it will happen. And then you can move onto the next scene which is way more fun anyway.

So, in summary: Suck it up and stop your bitching.

JP

Wait For It

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

I frequently have a hard time motivating myself, especially when it comes to writing. The words just don't seem to come, so I don't do anything to seek them out. I spend most of my time just waiting for inspiration, motivation--whatever that spark may be that finally gets me writing again. But most of the time it doesn't come. How much time have I spent (and continue to spend) just waiting? 

It's not exactly something I'm proud of, but I can't really help it. I feel like I'm always waiting for the right moment, the right time. What if it never comes? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? I guess the easy answer is--WRITE. Just write anyway. Even if it's hard. Even if every single word is a struggle, it would be better than nothing. But most of the time, that's easier said than done. 

Some days I think I could do great things if I only tried a little bit harder. Other days I don't feel capable of much of anything. But I don't really think it's a fear of failure that keeps me from trying. So what is it? 

Sometimes I wonder how other writers can bust out book after book, publishing several per year. I'm taking forever just to get one done. I just don't get how they do it. I wish I could write like that. I keep waiting for some breaking point where I'm finally able to just write pages and pages. Even when I have time to sit down and write, it still doesn't happen.

Waiting may sometimes feel like the right thing to do, but is it the best thing? What if that perfect moment, that perfect motivation never comes? I could spend my whole life waiting for it, or I could actually try. Try to take that inspiration instead of waiting around for it to show up. If you take control, then maybe you won't have to wait anymore.

**If anyone knows where I got the title for this post (and in a strange way that would take too long to explain, the inspiration behind it), you get a cupcake. :D

Two Milestones for the Price of One!

Greetings! It's a special day here at the FFP (wait, I've never called it that before...). Not only is this my 400th blog post, it's also my FIFTH blogiversary. It's been exactly five years since I wrote my first blog post. I can't believe it's been that long, actually, or that I've written that many posts!

So I had a hard time figuring out what exactly I should do for this post. I knew I wanted to do something to celebrate, but nothing as crazy as another Muse Party or some other blogfest. Then I thought I could share some of my favorite posts from over the years, maybe even pick one for certain categories (favorite blogfest, favorite A to Z post, favorite old post with no comments). But then I realized I did something very similar for my third blogiversary. This wouldn't have been a big deal except a lot of the posts or category ideas that came to mind were already listed in that post.

So I decided to tweak the idea just a bit. I decided to just share posts from the last 100. I didn't want to share too many since I know there's no way people will actually go back and read them all, but here are just a few of my favorite highlights from the past 100 posts! (I went backwards chronologically, well, because it was easier to go through the posts that way...)

1. Evolving
My favorite post from this year's A to Z Challenge. Not only do our characters evolve as we continue to write them, but we evolve as writers as well. I always think it's funny when I read something I wrote a long time ago and see how awful it is, when at the time I thought it was fantastic!

2. The Muse Party Blogfest: (Anti-) Valentine's Day Edition
Because I had to! My favorite part may have been making the cartoons...

3. Something Clicked
Just because it was really awesome when this happened and I finally felt like I was ready to write again.

4. My Muse's Boyfriend
Probably the post that made me smile the most. Even though sometimes I want to strangle Adam...that pushy, perfect haired jerk. He's adorable, though. Dammit.

5. Jordan Takes Over: Let Sleeping Muses Lie
Well, I had to include a JTO, of course! While this wasn't exactly his most insightful post, it was definitely the funniest...

Five posts for five years is good, right? I didn't want to go too crazy. Well, that and I've been writing a lot of "woe is me" kind of posts for a while (until post #3 happened, basically). So those are no fun. 400 posts sure feels like a lot, so hopefully I'll still have ideas for the next 100!

A Post (Because I Have To)

Where the heck did my weekend go?? Seriously, it's like it disappeared into some sort of wormhole. Which is why I'm scrambling to get a blog post done on Sunday night before Game of Thrones starts (because I'm definitely going to bed once it's over). So...greetings from the past! I would wait until Monday to write a more decent post, but I have to work at 6:30. And if I don't get a post out until the afternoon, I may as well not bother. But I could just skip this post altogether, right? Haha, WRONG. I actually have to post today if I want my 400th post to line up with my blogiversary on Wednesday. So there.

Anyway, in case you hadn't figured it out yet, this post is not going to be very substantial. But I guess I will share some cool things with you.

1. I have (mostly) figured out what I want to do for my post this Wednesday. It's extremely similar to what I did for my third blogiversary post, but I figured no one would remember that. Wait, except I just told you. Hmm. Anyway, still figuring out the exact way I want to go about it, but it will be done!

2. In other writing news, I ACTUALLY GOT MY REWRITE OF CHAPTER ONE DONE. Sorry for the caps. It's that exciting. Chapter one was being a bitch (or maybe Jordan was...). But anyway, I got it done and now I can move on. I ended up not writing that little setting snippet yet, mostly because there was way too much going on in the chapter already. I may try to squeeze it in the second chapter, but I think that chapter is already perfect so we'll see. I may just try to write it first and then see where it can fit in.

3. I got my wedding dress! I'm incredibly low maintenance--I only tried on two dresses and ended up going with the first one I tried. Plus I'm thinking it should be fairly easy to pack for the trip to Vegas. Woot. Oh! I didn't even want a veil but my consultant and fiance gained up on me and I bought one anyway (I had no idea he cared about that sort of thing, either). I'm still not sure if I actually want it, but I got it for half off, so it's not a huge deal.

4. I made these awesome brownies over the weekend even though I'm trying to lose weight. They have a peanut butter swirl and Reese's pieces. Because why not? I made my sister keep most of them. Most of them...

5. We recently got a new mattress and a new bedspread so I may or may not be trying to redecorate my apartment. It's difficult because there's not a lot of space in here. But I'm hoping to purge some of the stuff we don't need. And maybe put some shelves up. I've been dying to reclaim my desk to actually use, you know, as a desk. Right now it's on my fiance's side of the bed and is just covered in junk. Having an actual writing space would be awesome. But it's going to be a slow process. We have too much stuff and nowhere to put it! 

Well, I think I'll leave it there before I start to ramble too much. I'll be back on Wednesday for the extravaganza!