Gay Young Adult Romance Something or Other

**My theme for this year's A to Z Challenge is THE REVISION PROJECT. Topics I come across while I write the third draft of my novel, Uneven Lines.**

Well, I could have always come out of the closet. That certainly would have made for an interesting day. 

I've always had a hard time figuring out exactly what type of book UL is. It always seems to be everything it's not. Because it's young adult, but it's not. And it's kind of a romance, but it's not. And it's also gay fiction, but not. I kinda want to pitch it as literary fiction, but I feel it has all these elements that may turn off some readers who are looking for something more straightforward.

One thing I've already decided is to not try to sell this book as young adult. Yes, it's from the point of view of a fifteen-year-old. And no, it's not from some future perspective. It sounds like a fifteen-year-old's voice. But there are some pretty adult moments throughout the book. I think the only part that really completely reads young adult is the subplot concerning Jordan's friends. I also wouldn't really want young people to read it. While an adult book written from a young adult perspective may be a tough sell, I think it's the right decision for this particular book.

Then there's the romance aspect. I've always called it a "demented" romance. There's the age difference between the characters, of course. Their relationship definitely isn't straightforward by any means. And your typical romance novel usually has a happy ending. While the end of UL certainly isn't some epic tragedy, it's definitely not happy, either. So while there are some romantic elements in the book, it definitely doesn't follow your typical romance novel structure.

I think out of all the things that it's not, the label that fits the most is gay fiction. My characters are gay, after all. But I've always thought that it's an important aspect to the characters, but not the story itself. I could switch out the genders and sexuality and still have basically the same story. Obviously some details would change and the dynamic between the characters would be different, but the same basic plot line would still be there. I wouldn't change it of course, because I've been with these characters for so long that changing them to something completely different would just feel wrong.

So does the story need that label? I think it probably does. If someone had no interest in reading a story with gay characters, no matter what it was about, they would probably want that label there so they would know not to read it. Same goes for the opposite--someone who wants to read about those characters. They want to be able to find those books more easily. But is that all I get to call it? What other label fits my book? Contemporary? Something else entirely? Or do I just call it gay fiction and call it a day? If I knew I wouldn't ask so many questions. But I guess I should worry about finishing it first.

Where does my book fit in? Have you ever written a book you couldn't figure out a label for?

Family & Friends

**My theme for this year's A to Z Challenge is THE REVISION PROJECT. Topics I come across while I write the third draft of my novel, Uneven Lines.**

I couldn’t even say the easy part, even though the timing seemed perfect. We seemed to be having a moment. It might never happen again. Mom, I like boys. I just took another spoonful of ice cream. 

Everyone has a certain group of people in their lives that they're relatively close to, who they probably see every day. This group is usually made up of family and friends. If you're writing about a fictional character, chances are he or she will come across these people every now and again throughout the story. How do you fit in these characters? How do the relationships enhance the story? 

The family aspect has always been an interesting one when it comes to my book. Jordan has exactly one family member: his mother. He never comes close to mentioning any other family member because they don't exist for him. I wonder if that will be strange for the reader. I just figure at this point in his life any questions he may have had are way in the past and he just doesn't care. Why would he take the time to explain something to the reader if he doesn't care about it? 

At the same time, the relationship with his mother is a huge factor in the book. With this story, there are obviously a lot of issues regarding a person's age and maturity, and her character highlights these as well. She was actually a teenager when Jordan was born, so that helps to show this idea of having to grow up too soon. But their relationship is also very dysfunctional. She's basically never around (making Jordan's secret relationship with Tom much easier) and even does a few things that help advance the main plot. So is she a vital character? I'd say so. But there are still some things I struggle with. 

I guess, like most things that happen in the last third of the book, it's something I still haven't figured out yet. I know Jordan's mom is flawed, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I'm just trying to figure out how to make that realistic and yet interesting at the same time. I know I'm going to end the book with their relationship incredibly fractured, possibly beyond repair. I wonder if that's something readers will be ok with. While this plot line will have an ending, it definitely is not wrapped up in a pretty bow. It's messy and open-ended. Things could change in the future or they could stay the same. There's really no way of knowing (unless I write a sequel...). 

And then there are friends, of course. Jordan's friends are more part of their own subplot than the main plot. Sometimes I wonder if I need them at all, because I'm afraid their scenes seem forced. At the same time, it would feel strange without them. Doesn't everyone have friends, particularly someone in high school who also claims to be popular? Even if he doesn't like them, they should still exist. I also worry that the end of this particular subplot is too over the top. Jordan has two close friends throughout the book, one of which he becomes even closer to by the end, the other he completely destroys, all while furthering his own agenda. I guess it shows his evil side, which is an important part to his character. 

So I guess family and friends are especially important when they're showing different aspects to your main character. How does he act differently when he's with them? How do they move the story forward? As long as they're serving a purpose, then they're important characters.

Do you show family and friends in your stories? Do they help show different sides to the main character?

Evolving

**My theme for this year's A to Z Challenge is THE REVISION PROJECT. Topics I come across while I write the third draft of my novel, Uneven Lines.**

Today's post is also a tie-in for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up! 

I used to go out with girls, if you can believe it. Like, a lot. Crazy, I know. 

Most people don't stay the same over the course of their entire lives. You've probably changed a lot at this point in your life and will continue to do so as you get older. The same can be said for characters. They are supposed to be like real people after all, right? Sometimes the point of the story is for a character to evolve. But what if the characters or the story evolve without you even realizing or meaning to? 

I've noticed a ton of changes from the very first draft of UL up until now. And not just the ones I made on purpose. Because there were a lot of those (and more to come). I've noticed that not only have my characters evolved from where they started, but I've also evolved quite a bit as a writer. I guess that's just what happens when you spend over five years on the same story. 

My characters have changed quite a bit. In the very first draft, Jordan was basically a sociopath and was definitely bisexual (bwahahahaahaha...sorry, it makes me laugh). He's softened over the years (although he's still quite the manipulative little SOB) and although he's dated a few girls before the novel begins, it was just for show (there is a brief encounter with a girl about halfway through the book, but that is another post!). I know sometimes I complain about spending so long on the same story, but without that amount of time developing every single detail, I don't think he would have become the character he was supposed to be. He would have been a different person entirely.

When I first started this story, I thought it was the best thing I had ever written. It started as a short story (although it was a bit on the long side). Eventually I decided to change it into a novel, to be able to flesh out those parts that were rushed and add in more details. So the story was evolving from the very beginning. What I didn't expect was to eventually feel so differently about that first draft. Because now I hate it. 

I'm sure most people are frightened by their first drafts. They can often be a mess. Every time I look at that original story, I cringe. I can probably count on one hand the number of lines that have made it through all the drafts untouched (and they're probably all dialogue). So why did I think it was so good at the time? Maybe the answer is that it was. Maybe it was the best thing I had written up to that point. That doesn't mean it was perfect. It just means I was improving as a writer. I still had a long way to go. What was good about it wasn't necessarily the exact words on the page, but the story they told. And that was something worth working on. 

So my characters have evolved, my story's evolved, I've evolved. And I'm sure we're not done. 

Have your characters evolved as you write your stories? How have you evolved as a writer?

Dialogue

**My theme for this year's A to Z Challenge is THE REVISION PROJECT. Topics I come across while I write the third draft of my novel, Uneven Lines.**

Sometimes I hated words. There were so many better things you could do with your mouth than talk. 

You probably thought I'd share some witty snippet of dialogue, right? Well, that would have been difficult. I love dialogue. Loooooove it. Finding my favorite line of dialogue to share would have taken months. I'm a dialogue abuser. Sometimes (ok, most times), I first start out a scene by writing all the dialogue and then filling in everything that happens in between. Dialogue comes the easiest to me, especially if I'm struggling with the blank page. But why is that?

Maybe sometimes it's easier to think of what people would say rather than what they would do or think. Especially when you're only in one character's head; you can't actually say what anyone else is thinking. Only the narrator's thoughts can be told. So dialogue helps in finding out information from other characters.

My issue is usually using too much dialogue. If I write out a full page of it and try to fill in some exposition in between, there are only so many shrugs and sighs and reaction thoughts I can squeeze in until it just seems silly. So sometimes you have to cut back on the dialogue. Only show what is entirely necessary.

The weird thing about dialogue in a story is that it's kind of like real life, but it isn't. You want your dialogue to sound realistic, like it's something a real person would actually say. But at the same time, you don't want to fill your pages with the kind of boring, everyday conversations that fill most of our lives. You just want those juicy, interesting moments. You want dialogue to move the story forward. Maybe a character learns something new from another one. Maybe two characters figure out something together by talking. But they should never be talking about the weather or something that's going to put your reader to sleep.

My other issue is info dumping. There are quite a few times where my characters have to reveal something to one another. One character in particular has a secret that he first confesses in one chapter, and then as the story goes one, gives more and more details regarding this secret and how it came to be. These moments are usually filled with dialogue, and it's hard to work around it. My narrator doesn't know what's going on in the other character's head. So he can only get that information through dialogue. But sometimes I feel like it's still too much.

I guess the way to go about it is to always make sure whatever's being said is important and moves the story forward. If you can find a way to do the same thing with less dialogue or no dialogue at all, then you should probably do it.

Do you think less is more when it comes to dialogue? Or are you a dialogue abuser like me?

Controversy

**My theme for this year's A to Z Challenge is THE REVISION PROJECT. Topics I come across while I write the third draft of my novel, Uneven Lines.**

I wasn’t some vulnerable child, and he knew that, too. But to him, it was completely black and white. Anything we could possibly do would be illegal and that was that. Final answer.

Not all stories are filled with happy fluffy bunnies and rainbows and unicorns. Some stories go to a dark or scary place. A place that makes people uncomfortable. And that's ok, as long as you do it right.

There are plenty of different kinds of controversies you could throw into a novel. You could write about war, politics, race issues. It usually involves something that people have differing opinions on. Or, you could write about something that most people would agree is wrong. But if you do, will they still want to read your book?

This is something I constantly struggle with. This is why I worry that people will hate my book, because some people aren't willing to give a controversial story a chance. So how do you stick with your idea but make it something that people will actually want to read?

My book is controversial because it centers around the relationship between a 15-year-old and a 28-year-old. As much as I say that my story chose me, I have to admit this is how it started. I wanted to write about a student-teacher relationship, with no other concrete details in mind. Then a few hours later all of the characters and details hit me like a pile of bricks falling on my head. But it did still start with my own little spark of an idea.

I've always been a sucker for a forbidden romance. The problem with this one, though, is that the thing keeping them apart is the law. Most people would agree that it's controversial, and that these people shouldn't be together, no matter how strong their feelings are. They should either walk away from each other or wait until the younger person is old enough for it to be ok.

So why would someone even want to read this story? It's not like it's the first book to feature such a subject. Actually, one of my favorite novels of all time is Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. But that's a book that's incredibly well written. What if my writing isn't good enough to make such a tough subject more interesting to readers?

What I really want is to tell an interesting story. I want people to have mixed emotions when they read it. To actually want the characters to be together one moment, and then pull back and think, "wait a second, no I don't!" I'm not trying to say that I think this type of relationship is ok, even if it's very clear my narrator thinks it is. I write from the younger character's point of view, and he's actually the more manipulative person in the relationship, which I think (or hope) is different from other stories like this. I think the voice is strong. And I know there are some people who will just have no interest in reading a story like this, and that's ok. I just hope the people who are willing to give it a shot will find it, pick it up, and hopefully not put it down.

Do you ever write about controversial subjects? Do you like to read stories that feature them?

Bigger Than Me

**My theme for this year's A to Z Challenge is THE REVISION PROJECT. Topics I come across while I write the third draft of my novel, Uneven Lines.**

“You can, if you want to. It’s not a big deal.”
“It is, though. It’s a very big deal.” 

A story can feel like a big deal. Sometimes writers choose their story ideas. Other times, the stories choose them. Well, what happens if you're not the right person for that story? What if despite all of your passion and desire to write it, it's just too much for you to handle?

UL has never been the right story for me, especially at the beginning. The idea seemed to come out of nowhere and was nothing like any story I had ever thought of before. Let's start with the fact that I thought I was done writing fiction. I was way more into poetry and hadn't thought of any new story ideas for a few years when this one came along. I'd never written from a male perspective, let alone a gay teenage boy's. Swears were a rare occurrence in my writing and sexual descriptions made me squeamish. It was weird and different, and yet I had never felt so passionate about a story idea in my entire life.

Of course at this point, I've been working on it for so long that it does seem normal, but that took time (and a stubborn muse). And I still don't think I'm strong enough to write it.

Let me explain. This is the kind of story that takes guts to write, and even more guts to publish. It's not a lighthearted story and it's not one that most people are going to respond to. I've already experienced negative feedback, and more than once. First, when I workshopped the original short story version in my fiction writing class, and then when I entered the novel into Pitch Wars. And this wasn't your typical "this needs some editing" feedback. People hated it.

I know this story isn't for everyone, and I'm ok with that. But I don't have the guts for the negative feedback. I take it hard. Super hard. I'm just a sensitive person. So why on earth would I be writing a controversial story like this? I really don't know. It's just that it popped in my head one day. I really had no say in it.

So if none of this is up to me, then who is it up to? Is it crazy to believe that the universe gave me this idea because it has bigger plans in mind? What if writing this story is just the beginning? What if there are other people out there who this story will affect or help? What if it leads to more--more books, a movie deal, who knows? Why am I asking you all of these questions??

If the universe does have bigger plans, what if I'm not strong enough to pull it off? I actually believe the universe sent me a sign about this, but that happened over three years ago. What if I've taken too long? I don't like to share the details because I feel like I'll jinx it, but there were just a lot of coincidences that lined up at once. I always thought I didn't believe in coincidences, but now I'm not so sure. What happens when time runs out on my dream? I don't even know how much time I really have. What if I can't finish?

I couldn't think of a picture for this post, but I immediately thought of a song that fits! So I'm going with that. This is a live performance of "Stray Italian Greyhound" by Vienna Teng, and this song definitely rings true for my mindset when I first started writing this story. And maybe it still does.

so what do I do with this/ this stray Italian greyhound/ these inconvenient fireworks/ this ice-cream-covered screaming hyperactive thought/ god I just want to lay down/ these colors make my eyes hurt/ this feeling calls for everything that I am not

Attraction & Chemistry

**My theme for this year's A to Z Challenge is THE REVISION PROJECT. Topics I come across while I write the third draft of my novel, Uneven Lines.**

He held out the pencil to me. I reached out to take it, making sure my fingers touched his. I didn’t expect anything, but he was much quicker to react this time. He held on to the pencil for just a few seconds, with this cute little smirk on his lips. I felt my face getting hot. I yanked it out of his hand, scribbled down my reason, then handed it back to him.

One of the things I constantly worry about with my characters is if they have chemistry. Does the attraction seem real or one sided? Is it even there at all? Will anyone care?

With any story involving a romance, as normal or demented as it may be (Like mine! If you didn't already know, you will definitely come to discover over the course of this month...), your characters have to have chemistry. If there isn't a certain spark between two love interests, then no one is going to buy that they would get together. Or worse, they won't care.

So how do you pull it off? How do you make that spark happen? I think it starts with attraction. Chemistry is going to be hard to come by if your characters don't find one another attractive first. There are different ways to show this. They could just come out and say it, if they're bold enough. Or, they can think it. My book is in first person, so when my main character, Jordan, first meets his love interest, Tom, he tells the reader pretty much immediately that he finds him attractive. This could work for third person, too, especially if you allow the character's thoughts to be known. Maybe you could even find out what both characters are thinking, even if it has to take some time to shift point of view.

So you've got attraction. Now it's time for chemistry. You'll want your readers to want your characters to get together, to ache for it until it finally happens and then they're jumping for joy (my story is a bit more complicated than that, but that's a post for another day). Do the characters give in to their attraction right away or do they try to fight it? Do they flirt all the time or do they just try to avoid each other? In my case, one character is an obvious flirt, while the other tries desperately to not give in to that desire, but occasionally he can't help it. So flirting happens. There are plenty of ways to show chemistry between characters, but it's important that every time they get together, that spark is still there.

Once that chemistry is established, the events of the story may change it. When they finally get together, does that spark get stronger or diminish? Do emotions get involved and change the dynamic? Does chemistry evolve into love or hatred? The possibilities are endless.

How do you show chemistry between characters? What's the most interesting way your characters have flirted? (In the above quote, my characters were also solving a geometric proof!)

A to Z Theme Reveal

Where did March go??? If you can believe it, April is less than two weeks away and that means it will be the beginning of the A to Z Challenge! I'm starting to panic. I'm not prepared. At all.

But the good news is that I do have a theme! And today is the day where we reveal our themes for the Challenge. This year will be my third time taking part. My very first time I didn't have a theme and figuring out what to write about every day was difficult. Last year, though, I picked a theme (The Name Game!) and had all of my post ideas at least figured out before April 1. That made writing the posts soooooooo much easier. So if anyone out there is on the fence about using a theme, I would highly recommend it!

So onto the reveal! I went back and forth between a few ideas, and while I thought my guilty pleasures idea would have been fun, I just don't think I actually have 26 of them. And ultimately, I went with my gut. This is a writing blog, after all, so my theme for this year's Challenge is.....

The Revision Project

Third draft or bust! Well, ok, not really. I don't think I'll actually get the third draft of Uneven Lines done during the A to Z Challenge. That would just be crazy. What I would like to accomplish is to figure out all of the things that need figuring out. From the giant plot overhauls to the tiniest changes that need to be made. And that's where the Revision Project comes in. 

My posts will cover a wide variety of story-related topics. Stuff about characters, plot, voice, and so much more. Things that I'm trying to figure out, things I haven't figured out yet. Things that frustrate the hell out of me. While each topic will be inspired by my own novel, the posts themselves will have a more broad view so that other people will be able to follow along and relate. Some posts will be more specific than others, depending on the topic.

I haven't quite figured everything out yet. I'm usually too tired from work or being distracted by actual editing (which never happens so I've been taking full advantage of it!). Luckily there is still some time left to crack down and figure these posts out!

For this year's Challenge, I'm once again one of Stormy's Sidekicks! Because I'm a crazy person who thought she had way too much time on her hands, apparently. Also, if you anyone doing the Challenge hasn't been joining in the Twitter chats, you're missing out! They're so much fun and one of my favorite parts of the Challenge. They're Thursdays at 9PM EST and Saturdays 8AM EST. Just follow #azchat and be sure to use it in your tweets!

Well, I've got less than two weeks to figure out these posts. I should probably get on that...

Chapter One, Round Three

Don't ask me how I manage to randomly figure things out. I have no idea.

What I really should have been working on this weekend were my A to Z posts. In fact, I was planning on writing about that for this blog post, too. But something even better, something unexpected happened. I'll probably be kicking myself on April 1st for wasting a whole weekend, but in the long run, it will definitely be worth it.

So I've been feeling some inspiration brewing for a while, like a really slow coffee pot that I couldn't touch until it was full. I knew eventually something would happen, I just didn't know when, or how successful that inspiration would be.

Since I was actually off this weekend I had a lot of time to focus on some writing. While I did make a list of potential A to Z post ideas on Saturday, I knew on Sunday what I wanted to do was try writing. Actual writing. Uneven Lines third draft writing. I KNOW, RIGHT??? I don't fully understand how it happened but I'm not going to question it.

I sat down at the table with a notebook, some notes I had made for the new opening, and the 2nd draft, and just started writing. And for once, it actually worked. I started with a complete rewrite of the first scene and managed to get halfway through the first chapter. A few paragraphs from the 2nd draft managed to make the cut, but overall, it's pretty different, and I hope a lot better. But the best part is that I actually wrote something!

I've always thought of the first chapter in three parts, and yesterday I got the first part done. Once the second part is complete, the third will be the easiest because I'm not changing much from the last draft. So if I can finish the scene I'm working on right now, then the whole first chapter will be complete. And then I can keep going. I wasn't sure the third draft was ever going to happen, but it looks like things may just be starting to work out.

AND since it's Pi Day, (and it's entirely relevant!), I thought I'd share a little snippet from the first chapter (just because, ok???). This is right after Jordan meets his math tutor, Tom, and is actually one of the few details that has survived since the original short story I wrote five years ago. Enjoy (I hope...)!

             I moved aside to let him in, taking in a good eyeful while his back was turned. That’s when I noticed he was holding a round dish covered in plastic wrap.

            “Oh,” he said, following my gaze. “It’s a pie.”

            I blinked a few times. “I can see that.”

            “A pie. Get it? Pie? Like pi!”

            He didn’t laugh but by the look in his eyes he thought this was hilarious. I had no idea what to make of him. “So…you brought dessert?”

            He shrugged. “It’s just a fun little icebreaker. You don’t have to eat it now.” He held it out to me with both hands. “It’s key lime, by the way.”

            I took it and placed it on the counter, all the while staring at him with a raised eyebrow. “Where’d you get it?”

            “I made it. Where did you want to set up?”

            My bed? “Uh…living room’s fine.” I led him over to the couch, trying to calm my rapid pulse. Seriously, who was this guy? Math tutor who makes lame jokes with baked goods? But, um, hello—yummy. And I didn’t mean the pie. 

Maybe I'll get to talk about those A to Z posts on Wednesday. Or maybe I'll be so deep into editing/rewriting that I won't be able. Either way, it will be a good thing.

Jordan Takes Over (Except Not...): New Characters, New Voices

**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. Except this month. This month, he didn't feel like it. He felt like sleeping. And since I've been writing a useless thing from Adam's point of view (aka Wannabe-Muse-2), Jordan told him to do it. I have no control over these things. So fine! Take it away, Adam...**

Wait, what do I do? No one told me what to do!

Jordan is sleeping and Sarah is glaring at me. I don't think she likes me. Well, ok, that's not true. She loves me but she really wants to hate me. Is that even a thing? Like hate to love, love to hate? Love but want to hate? Never heard of that. Sarah didn't want me to take over. It was Jordan's idea. Well, because he wanted to keep sleeping. He's so cute when he's sleeping! Uh-oh, Sarah's tapping her foot now. She didn't want me to write this post because apparently I "don't have a voice yet." Mostly because "nothing will ever be published from my POV." And anything written from my POV is "complete self-indulgent cutesy crap." Or something.

I guess I could talk about writers being totally mean to their characters, but I won't (I think Jordan could handle that topic better). But lets talk about having a voice. Voice is one of those things that a character needs, whether the story is written from that character's perspective or not. Every time a character speaks, you want that person to feel real. Not every character should sound exactly the same. That would get pretty boring.

So when you are writing from a character's point of view, it's even more important for that voice to be unique. First of all, you don't want your novel to sound like a textbook. If you're using first person, you want that character's voice to actually seem like a real person is telling the story. Their choice of words should reflect who they are and how they react to what's happening to them. And if you write a new book with different characters, you'll want it to sound different.

But sometimes you've got a new character. And you haven't quite figured everything out about him. Take me, for example. I still don't have a last or middle name, eye color, or a proper description of my hair, apparently. I don't know what the big deal is, it's just hair. But anyway, I'm also lacking pretty much all of my backstory. But that's ok. New characters are never going to be 100% complete when you first think of them. It takes time to sort out all those details, figure out what will work for the character and for the story.

The same can be said for voice. It isn't going to come to you right away. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be writing. Like all of those other details, eventually it will sort itself out. Once you start writing as that character, eventually how he speaks will start to feel more natural. You'll know exactly what he'd say about a situation. The most important things you can do are to keep thinking and keep writing. And eventually those new characters won't seem so new anymore.

I'm being told this is just a one time thing, since I will "never ever be an actual muse." So I promise I'll wake Jordan up for next month's post. Mostly because I don't want Sarah to yell at me...Bye!

Fast Five Friday: Things You Covet

I haven't done a Fast Five Friday post in forever, but I saw this one on Deborah Hawkins' blog earlier today and wanted to join in (mostly because I came up with my ideas super fast)! As always, FFF is hosted by the ladies over at Cover Girls! I know I'm a little late to the party, but hey, it's still Friday, I worked all day, and my free time has been occupied because Adam is making me write something useless. No, that wasn't a typo. I'm sure Jordan is getting a nice nap during all of this. I'm getting four pages so far, so I'm not going to bitch about it...

Anyhoo, this week's Fast Five asks us to share five things we covet/ or would like to acquire. Here are mine:

1. A finished third draft of Uneven Lines
2. A book deal
3. A movie deal after the book deal
4. An apartment with more than one room
5. Hamilton tickets

Most of these are probably impossible. Especially #5. *shakes fist*

Well, I'm off. I have to be back at work at 6 am tomorrow and I'd like to get some writing done before I pass out. See you all on Monday (I hope)!!

Where's the Motivation?

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click here to learn more and sign up!

I stayed up way too late on Sunday night to watch the Oscars, just because. Actually, I love watching awards shows, but probably not for the same reasons as most people. They always give me a little kick of motivation. I usually get some writing done, maybe even make a big editing revelation about my writing. Why? Well, I tend to dream big. I would love to write something good enough to win awards. One of my dreams is to turn my book into a screenplay. I know it's a ridiculous dream, but if it helps me to get any writing done, I can't really say it's a bad thing.

But here is my problem: even when I do feel those surges of motivation, not a lot gets done. I know a lot of my issues involve time and energy, but my biggest problem is probably motivation. I'd say it's nearly impossible to motivate myself. Of course I really want to get things done, but it feels like that part is buried under the desire to just do nothing.

It's a vicious cycle, really. Not getting any writing done leads to depression, which makes it even harder to get anything done. When I have those few moments where I actually feel the desire to write, I'm caught off guard and spend too much time just trying to figure out which part to work on. Motivation isn't something that comes easily to me, so when it actually shows up, I don't know what to do with it.

I try to do little things to motivate myself. I actually made a short, six song motivation playlist, with the goal of starting every day by listening to it. Music usually gives me a little push of motivation, as well. But I don't listen to it every day. I don't even know why. It would be so easy to do, not take too long, and worst case scenario, I get to listen to some music that I like.

I don't know why motivation is so hard for me to come by. Maybe I'm afraid of my dreams. Maybe I'm afraid of failing. Maybe I'm just afraid that everyone will hate what I write, since that's been the case more than once. So I don't know. Maybe it takes more than motivation. Once I get that motivation, I still have to commit. And I still have to work. Like everything else, I guess I'll have to take it one step at a time.

Do you struggle with motivation? What do you do to motivate yourself?

After the Party

Thanks to everyone who took part in Monday's Muse Party Blogfest, as well as those who just stopped by. Hopefully everyone had a good time with their Valentines and anti-Valentines. I know I did! It was super fun to read everyone's posts about their muses/characters.

The Muse Parties always seem very chaotic. A lot of our muses have a lot in common. For one, there is so much sarcasm and snark being thrown around that I wish I had brought some earplugs. And having that many crazy characters in one place can be dangerous. I think if these parties were real, they would end in drunken fights, random muse hookups, police involvement, and possibly the whole place burning down. While that didn't actually happen, we came pretty close. Here are just a few highlights:

- We had several awesome muses and characters show up (along with their awesome authors!), including a fairy, a Viking, and a cannibal (just don't call her that). Luckily no one was maimed or eaten.
- A lot of muses had significant others who weren't at the party so were just there for a fun time. Others wanted to flirt like crazy. I won't say which one mine was...
- I spent most of the time making sure Jordan didn’t drink any of the booze everyone else brought (so much wine!). I *should* hold off on another Muse Party until he’s 21 but I probably won’t.
- We had lots and lots of sweets and uh, roasted goat. (Yum?)
- Not everyone was too keen on wearing the dress code colors. It's all good, though. Pink isn't for everyone. "Are you saying I dressed up for nothing?" Jordan asked. "AND I could have worn gray???"
- Too many disturbing versions of spin the bottle that involved sharing drinks and all out brawls. I didn’t think I’d ever say this, but letting Jordan be in charge of spin the bottle probably would have been safer.

- Jordan somehow got frosting all over his nice black shirt (I dunno, something happened with Will Scarlet on the table for at least seven minutes), but it worked out since he got a few cool t-shirts as musiversary gifts. Hopefully everyone snagged some cupcakes before he smooshed them, though.  

- I have no idea what happened to Jordan's tie. I'm not sure I want to know. 

- Various random fires. Probably more than one magic spell. And possibly some sword fights.
- Between Valentine’s Day gifts between writers and muses, plus musiversary gifts for me and Jordan, you couldn’t see the floor by the end of the party. Nothing but wrapping paper.

I'm done with the cartoons, I swear. For now...

Thanks to everyone for making the second Muse Party Blogfest a success!

The Muse Party Blogfest: (Anti-) Valentine's Day Edition!

The day has finally arrived! It's February 15, which aside from being the day after Valentine's Day, also happens to be my musiversary with Jordan. So we're throwing another Muse Party! All of my blogger buddies who signed up will be showing up with their muses or characters and sharing their love and/or hate of Valentine's Day! Let's get started!

I know I usually give Jordan the blue font when we share a post, but since love is in the air, today we're going with red.
Love is in the air? Someone call an exterminator. 
ANYWAY. For this party, I've added pictures! They were a lot of fun to make so I hope you enjoy. I apologize for how long this post will be, and for any inappropriate comments made (not by me...). Let's get to the questions!

1. Who did you bring to the party? Is he/she your Valentine or anti-Valentine?

Since it’s our party and our musiversary, I of course brought Jordan to the party.

Against my will, I should add.

That’s not true! You’re excited, admit it!

Nope. Hate Valentine’s Day. Romance. Stupid. Blech.

Uh-huh. We’re the epitome of anti-Valentines in case that wasn’t painfully obvious. I think listing all of the reasons would take all day.

2. Which one of you is the more romantic person?

Uhhhh you, obviously, with your “I’ve only kissed one guy my whole life” crap. I’ve never done any romantic thing. Ever.

Yet! What about Adam?

SPOILERS. How about we get the first book done before jumping to the third one?

Don’t change the subject! You luuuuuuuuuurve him.

DO NOT. I’m only 20! That’s still a good two years away from being a thing.

Jordan and Adam sitting in a tree…

For the love of God, shut up! The only reason he even exists is to save me from YOU.

Excuse me?

Everyone thinks I’m the mean one but you basically TORTURE me in the second book. I mean, really. WRITERS.

So I give you a nice boyfriend in Book 3.

Exactly.

You’re welcome!

………

3. What gift are you giving to your (anti) Valentine?

I got you a box of chocolates! Wait, where did they go?

I may have found them earlier… *burp*

Oooook. What did you get me?

Condoms.

That’s creepy on so many levels.

No, it’s incredibly practical. You need them more than I do. At least I can’t get knocked up. No one wants to end up like my mom, Sarah! 

Riiiiiiiiiihgt. You still need them, though.

Not for everything…

4. Are you guys wearing red or pink (or black...)? 

Well, I did just buy this great pink dress, and since it’s the internet, I’m going to pretend if fits without Spanx. But black tights! Mostly because I like black tights.

Pink is pretty much the last color you will ever catch me in. I’m going with black just because. But with a pop of red, you know, to be festive.

A tie? I thought you didn’t care about this party enough to dress up.

Yeah, I’m just hoping some cute boys show up.

5. Did you bring any Valentine’s Day treats?

Don’t say it…

I made cupcakes!

You’re so predictable.

But they’re my Valentine’s Day cupcakes! I had to make them. You know you want one…

Can’t talk. Eating.

6. Name a song for our Love Playlist or Anti-Love Playlist (or both)!

I’m going to add Christina Perri’s “A Thousand Years” for the Love Playlist. Because I’ve decided it should be you and Adam’s song. Because you luuuuuuuuurve him.

You’re not allowed to watch Twilight movies anymore.

Ok, then Mr. Rock Star, what’s your anti-love song?

Hmm…so many choices. I can only pick one?

Yes.

Uhhh….I don’t think so. I choose several. I’ll do you a favor and only pick songs you have. Otherwise this could take me a week. Plus it will be easier for you to put it together for me.

I hate you.

7. Got a great anti/Valentine party game?

We could always play spin the bottle again…

After the stunt you pulled last time? I don’t think so!

Pardon me for trying to keep things interesting.

You just don’t want to have to kiss a girl.

You just don’t want to have to kiss ANYONE.

8. Feeling the love or just feeling nauseous? How will you have fun at the party?

I’m nauseous, but it’s probably from eating too many sweets…

Well, since so many people showed up to my party, I’m definitely feeling the love!

9. Has your muse been a good Valentine?

Not even a little bit.

You see? She’s so mean to me.

You didn’t let me finish! You’re the perfect anti-Valentine! And I’m just fine with that.

Can you go back to being mean? I’ll take mean over mushy any day.

Wait, where's my bonus question? Don't you want presents???

Right, because our Valentine's Day presents to each other went so well. If other people want to give us musiversary presents, that's up to them! 

Booooooooooooooooo. 

It's going to be a fun party! I can't wait to see the answers from everyone else!

I need a nap.

Remember, you can still sign up and post through the end of today! Thanks to everyone for coming to my party!!! 

It's Almost Party Time!

Happy Friday, everyone! I'm super excited for a few reasons. First off, this weekend is a three day weekend for me (my first at the new job). My fiance and I have a few errands to run (laundry, booooooo!) but we're going to try to get that out of the way early tomorrow morning so we can relax the rest of the weekend. We're going out on Saturday night and then hibernating on Valentine's Day. I plan on just making dinner at home and relaxing.

Then there's Monday! Which is of course the day for the Muse Party Blogfest: (Anti-) Valentine's Day Edition! If it is anything like the first one, it should be awesome! Since I'm always a procrastinator, I haven't quite finished all of the questions for my post yet. But I have gotten some of them done, and Jordan is being inappropriate as usual, so like with his monthly posts, I feel like I should apologize in advance.

Another thing I'm adding to my post is Bitstrips! I remember this being a huge thing on Facebook a while ago but I never got into it. While I would love to be able to draw people, I'm really just not good at it, so I Googled "cartoon maker" and this seemed like the best choice. I'm hoping to make a few comics to sprinkle in with my blogfest post, which will just make it even more awesome.

Here's a sneak preview. FYI, Jordan isn't all that excited for the party (but he kinda dressed up so I call BS). And he doesn't like hugs.

You can still sign up for the blogfest through Monday so come to the party! Find all of the details and sign up here! See you all on Monday! 

Something Clicked

I think something finally happened that I've been waiting a year and a half for. At least I hope so. And if I'm right, it could mean a lot of writing will happen in the near future.

Ever since the PitchWars fiasco, I really wanted nothing to do with my book. Didn't want to work on it, didn't want to look at it, didn't even want to think about it. Well, mostly. There was still that tiny urge somewhere in my mind that still had hope for this story and still wanted to make something of it, but it just wasn't strong enough. It was buried under mountains of self-doubt, and honestly, some doubt caused by others as well.

So I haven't done much on it during that time. I've thought about it a bit, came up with some new ideas, thought a ton about the two sequels I have in mind, but didn't actually write all that much. Maybe a line here or there (or lots of random dialogue from Book 3), but most of what I wrote down were just ideas to work on later. I just couldn't get the words out. I kept waiting for something to click, for me to just be able to snap out of it and start writing again. It just wasn't happening.

But then last Thursday night happened. Through some sort of weird process comprised mostly of watching an hour long interview on YouTube and listening to music (this will only make sense to me so I'll spare you the details), I was feeling inspired. I had this very particular feeling of anxiety, which I knew from having it before meant I wanted to write. Now, usually if I feel like writing, I will basically take whatever I can get. Doesn't matter which book it is, which characters, or even if every word is awful. I'll still take it. But the problem was I had no idea what to work on.

So instead of writing, I started reading. After listening to a particular song, it made me think of one of my chapters, so I started reading it. But once I got into it, I wanted to read the chapter before it. And I went a little crazy. I had actually forgotten how good this chapter actually was. It was actually surprising that I had written it. Despite the fact that I knew exactly what was going to happen, every moment still had my heart racing. There were particular sentences that gave me chills. It certainly wasn't as awful as I had led myself to believe.

So did this lead to actual writing? Well, sort of. I think it led to a complete change in my mindset. After I finished reading, I went back to the very first scene in the book and started tackling that. I got out two paragraphs, and while I ended up cutting one of them the next day (it just didn't seem to fit the voice), it was still something. I think the words I did actually write will work. But the main thing is that I felt different. I actually wanted to write again. I wanted to think about my story. I wanted to figure things out. I haven't felt that way in a long time.

While I haven't really had time since then to write, I'm hoping once I have a free moment the words will start flowing again. And hopefully they won't stop.

On a side note, The Muse Party Blogfest: (Anti-) Valentine's Day Edition is one week away! Sign up and bring your muse to the party!

Blog Insecurity

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click the link to learn more and sign up!

So what am I insecure about lately? You mean besides the same old, same old, right? For once I actually don't want to talk about writing, since nothing's really changed (still). I think I've completely unloaded all of my insecurities on that at this point. But one never really runs out of insecurity, do they? 

I've had quite a few blog related things on my mind lately. I definitely don't have the same momentum that I had through most of last year, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I have a lot less time now to write more posts, so I'm lucky to get one post a week out. But I'd rather be writing something that actually means something than just trying to fill space.

There are also a lot of things coming up in the near future that have me feeling a bit insecure. The A to Z Challenge is coming up way too fast and I officially signed up the other day. But I'm still not sure on my theme yet. I have a few ideas but I'm having trouble figuring out which one to use. My initial idea that I also mentioned last week was guilty pleasures. I've come up with a bunch but I don't know if I have 26 guilty pleasures, particularly one for every letter. Most of the ones I've come up with are just TV shows or junk food. I'd really like to have more of a variety of topics but I just don't know if they're there.

My second idea would actually be writing related, most likely to be called "The Revision Project." It would be kind of a way of dissecting what parts of my novel need to be fixed, sort of as a way to actually get me back on the revision track. My worries with this is that it may be too personal. I feel like some of the posts may be slightly therapeutic and I'm just not sure if people will care. Plus I'll probably be dishing out a lot of information on the book which may not keep everyone interested.

Besides all the A to Z brainstorming, I've got my own blogfest coming up in less than two weeks! I'm really excited for it but I'm worried it won't be as good as the first one. I still haven't written my post for it yet either. The signups are slowly getting up there but I don't know if they'll match the first Muse Party Blogfest. I know people will have fun with it, but I still worry that they won't.

I think what I always worry about with anything is that no one will care. Maybe that's an insecurity I need to get over.

Lost & Found: Valentine's Edition Bloghop

Today I'm taking part in the Lost & Found: Valentine's Edition Bloghop, hosted by Arlee Bird, Guilie Castillo-Oriard, Alex J Cavanaugh, Denise Covey, Yolanda Renee, and Elizabeth Seckman. We're being asked to share a story of love lost or found. I decided instead of fiction or a personal essay, to share some poetry instead. And not just one poem, but two!

While I feel these particular poems definitely need some heavy editing, if I had tried to start fixing them, I would never be done, so decided to share them as is (otherwise I'd never get this post done!). The first poem is a more personal one, and tells a story of love first found and then lost. The second is based on a piece of fiction (and actually helped me create the last two lines of my novel), and is more about love not necessarily lost, but complete. Enjoy!

Origami Roses

She knew before it happened—

there was softness in his voice

and a looming February holiday.

One day felt longer than the months before—

the careful footsteps around each other,

the coy remarks and lasting glances.

He made her the center of attention,

forced to clutch a glass vase to her chest.

Two were received every hour—

vibrant red petals and green stems,

white tags asking of her commitment.

When he appeared with the final two,

her answer was easy to give;

she knew it after getting the first.

Those roses were elegant, everlasting,

but they weren’t real.

Though he labored over every fold

with sincerity and passion,

they would always be fake.

Maybe then she would have seen the end as possible,

instead of believing his emotions

that could not last as long as these symbols.

She would have preferred real ones

to wilt quickly for her; they would have been

much easier to throw away.

Complete 

He asks if I am happy.

Happy! What a strange word.

I couldn’t begin to comprehend

what it means. Which isn’t to say

that I am sad, either. But what

is there to feel when your work is done?

When you have molded yourself for so long

and find that there are no more bits

of clay to stretch, no marks to carve.

Happy? No. What I am is complete.

All my unfinished parts sewn together

and finding their place. And the pain

was entirely necessary, to rip up

all those pieces before they could

be brought together. Now I can say

that I am my own.

But what is left, after something

is complete? What can you do,

but move on to the next thing? 

**As an added bonus, I've also realized that while the poems themselves work for the theme, the fact that I'm showing you my poems at all does as well. Because what I've also lost is my love for writing poetry. Back in college I could write a poem a day, but at some point I just wasn't able to. Maybe by sharing and eventually editing my poems, that love and ability will be able to come back.

The Good, the Bad, and the Blogfest

I thought I would throw together another fun facts post, since I had way too many things I wanted to talk about. A few things are good, some others are not (or at least aren't yet!). Oh yeah, and some kind of blogfest, or something...

The Good

- I have this weekend off! Working every other weekend instead of every single weekend ever makes my current job infinitely better than my last one.
- My fiance had jury duty yesterday and luckily didn't get picked for a jury, plus came home early and since it was my day off, we got to go out to lunch and spend some time together.
- As much as I would have loved to go to the first ever Broadwaycon this past weekend, being in New York during the snowstorm would have been a disaster! While my main reason for not going was money, I'm glad I didn't cave in and go.
- The snowstorm didn't hit us too hard here. I walk to work, so all I had to do was put on some boots. Plus while I was working, my fiance cleaned all the snow off my car <3

The Bad

- I won't be switching to earlier hours at work because something went wrong with the person they hired to take my hours. So now I have to wait until they hire another person, and it's a really long process. Guess it's still 11-7:30 for me for a while...
- I didn't get to read any blog posts on Monday since I pretty much went to bed right after work. I also procrastinated too much on Tuesday and probably didn't get to everyone's posts like I wanted to.
- The A to Z Challenge sign ups have already begun! Can you believe it? I can't! I don't know if I can participate this year. If I can come up with a theme like, within the next week or so, then I can try to write my posts ahead of time. If I can't get them all done before April, then there's just no way I'll have time to take part.
- I have had a theme idea floating around in my head but I'm not sure if I have enough ideas for every letter: guilty pleasures. I think it could be fun but I'll I've thought of so far are a few TV shows and some junk food. I don't know if I have 26 guilty pleasures at all, let alone one for every letter of the alphabet.
- There was a bomb threat made to where I work on Monday night (and is also right up the street from my apartment). Luckily it turned out to be nothing. There have been a ton of bomb threats around my state in the news lately and they need to stop!

The Blogfest

In case you missed it, I'm hosting another Muse Party Blogfest! This one is the (Anti-) Valentine's Day Edition. Whether you love Valentine's Day or hate it, if you have a muse (or a character) you can still have fun at the party! Find out all the details and sign up here!

Well, that's pretty much all that's going on right now. Writing? you may ask. What writing? There was never any writing...kidding. I have no idea! Add that one to the bad list, I suppose. But I'm trying not to dwell on it.

Has your week been good or bad? Have any guilty pleasures? Have you signed up for the Muse Party Blogfest (you should!)??

The Muse Party Blogfest: (Anti-) Valentine's Day Edition

Blow up the balloons and grab your party hats, it's time for another muse party! After two seconds of much debating, I've decided it would be fun to get all of our muses and characters together for another day of shenanigans. But this time, there's a theme!

That's right, this party is a Valentine's Day muse party! Well, sort of. While I'm sure none of us are romantically involved with our muses (that would be weird on so many levels...), we do still love them (sometimes). Whether you have a real life Valentine or not, you may love Valentine's Day or hate it. I actually can't stand it most of the time, but since this party has absolutely nothing to do with sappy romance and greeting cards, I thought it would be fun.

It just so happens that my musiversary (that's muse anniversary for those of you playing at home) with Jordan falls on the day after Valentine's Day. So he's kind of always been my anti-Valentine. This year marks our fifth musiversary, so it seemed like a great time to celebrate and throw a party! 

So it's kind of an anti-Valentine's Day party. But also a Valentine's Day party. Basically it's whatever you want it to be. We're celebrating the most nauseating of holidays along with the most dysfunctional relationships we probably have--the ones with our muses. 

All right, I'll stop rambling! The details! The Valentine's Day Muse Party Blogfest will take place on Monday, February 15. I'll be hosting the party here and you and your muse can come! On that day you can post on your blog and answer the questions I've provided. I'll be answering them, too, and visiting all the other blogs to check out your answers! 

If you don't have a muse or don't want to bring them, feel free to bring a character from one of your books (published or not!). If you came to the first party, you can bring the same muse/character or someone different. Maybe we'll get to see how much we and our muses really love each other...

Here are the questions:

1. Who did you bring to the party? Is he/she your Valentine or anti-Valentine?

2. Which one of you is the more romantic person?

3. What gift are you giving to your (anti) Valentine?

4. Are you guys wearing red or pink (or black...)? 

5. Did you bring any Valentine's Day treats? 

6. Name a song for our Love Playlist or Anti-Love Playlist (or both)! 

7. Got a great anti/Valentine party game? 

8. Feeling the love or just feeling nauseous? How will you have fun at the party?

9. Has your muse been a good Valentine? 

*Jordan's Bonus Question (feel free to ignore him...): Did you bring me & Sarah a musiversary gift? (Because we've put up with each other for five years and I think we deserve something.)

Feel free to add any other details you'd like to share! And be as pro or anti-Valentine's Day as you'd like. Or both if you and your muse differ. Sign up on the Linky List below to participate! 

Who's Up for a Party?

I had an idea recently that I've kind of been on the fence about, so I figured I'd get some opinions on it before I made a decision. Last May's Muse Party Blogfest was a lot of fun and honestly, a much bigger success than I thought it would be. At the end of last year I wanted to do a Christmas themed one, but with the new job I just didn't have the time or energy to plan it. So I figured I would just do it again in May for my next blog anniversary. But then I realized it would be hard to come up with new questions for people to answer, and that would just be boring. So having a theme would help.

Well, Valentine's Day is next month. While I actually can't stand Valentine's Day, it just so happens that my anniversary with my muse happens to be the next day. So I thought, what better time to have a muse party? You've got a holiday and an anniversary all rolled into one! While I know I would actually like to do it, I don't know if I actually should. So I've been thinking about the pros and cons:

Pros:
- Obviously, I can come up with Valentine's Day questions which would make this different from the previous muse party
- It would be on Monday the 15th and I have that day off from work so I would actually have time to do it and visit everyone else doing it
- That day is my fifth anniversary with Jordan, so another reason to celebrate (I guess...)
- I still have over a month to pimp it out and get signups!
- I have all day tomorrow off to put a post together with the questions and signup list
- My linky list subscription is still good so I wouldn't have to pay for it :D

Cons:
- Well, it would be Valentine's Day themed but actually be the day after Valentine's Day
- It also happens to be President's Day and I know some people don't blog on holidays

Well, ok, not too many cons, so it seems kind of obvious, doesn't it? I'm just not sure if it's something that people would actually want to do, so that's kind of the point of this post. Let me know if you think it's a good idea and you'd want to join in and I will definitely put this together. If not, I'll probably just take a nap.

The Year of No Resolutions

It's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's the posting day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Click the link to learn more and sign up!

It's that time of year where pretty much everyone has made a list of goals they'd like to accomplish at some point during the year, or just things they'd like to do better. Usually I'm the same way (although apparently my muse despises resolutions...), but this year I'm trying something different. I'm not making any actual resolutions.

I have a few reasons for this. First, I just didn't really have any time to think about it. My full time job pretty much takes up all of my time. The 11-7:30 shift was a lot more difficult than I anticipated. I spend most of the morning just getting ready (both physically and mentally) for work, and then after work I'm exhausted. I just want to eat dinner, maybe watch some TV and then pass out. My days off are usually spent doing chores like laundry and grocery shopping. So there's not a lot of time left for anything else. Luckily I'll be switching to an earlier shift in a couple weeks (probably 6:30-3) so I think I'll be able to make better use of my spare time.

But the other reason for not making any resolutions was that I just wasn't feeling it. I feel like I make the same exact goals every year and never accomplish them. Lose weight, finish my book, publish some poems, read 100 books. It just never works out. I'm kind of tired of the disappointment.

So I thought this year I would take a different approach. I still have the same goals I've always had, but I'm trying to think of them in a different way. I don't want to push myself on too many things so that I burn out right away and give up. I want to start tackling these goals in a more realistic way. One step at a time. Maybe work an hour on UL's third draft at this point, maybe go to the gym on this day, say no to pizza and get a salad. I don't want to try to do everything at once or think too much about what needs to be done in the future. Just try to do my best one day at a time. And if I need a day to relax and do nothing, then that's ok.

I have no idea if this approach will work but I guess without making any concrete goals, even if I accomplish one tiny thing, it will be a small victory. I've just got to take everything one tiny step at a time.

How do you tackle your goals? Did you make any resolutions this year?

Jordan Takes Over: New Year's Whatever

**The first Monday of every month, I let my muse take over the blog. I apologize in advance.**

First of all, I'd just like to point out that the last post on this blog was my post from last month, so that means Sarah is slacking off more than me. Let's all just keep that in mind the next time she yells at me.

Anyway, so it's a whole new year or something. Big freaking deal. People do the same thing every year, they say how they're going to change everything about their lives and do so much better and then two weeks later everything is back to normal. It's so lame. You know I hate lame things. What is it about a new year that makes suddenly makes people go all psycho?

I've never had a resolution. Well, mostly because I'm perfect. But that's not the point. Actually, it's really because if I want to do something, I just do it. I don't need that extra push of motivation that a new year supposedly brings. Ok, so maybe that isn't the best advice to give to everyone. Doing and getting the things you want doesn't always come easy. I'm not saying it's always easy for me, either. But sometimes trying to get those things and figuring out how to get them can be half the fun. But somehow people spend most of their time making excuses and not actually trying to do the things they want.

So let's say you've got something you want to get done. You want to read more or write more or lose weight or exercise or ask out that really hot guy in your music theory class (wait, what?). You have to ask yourself what's really stopping you from doing it and I guarantee that it's not the time of year. Like you've been telling yourself, oh, it's December, I can't start anything new in December. Well, why the hell not???? You just wasted a whole month where you could have been doing that thing you want to do! So you're still not writing and you're still fat and you're still not getting laid.

You know what else is super phony? The whole new year's motivation never lasts. Sure, you may have a few weeks where you'll actually feel productive and you really think it's gonna last forever, but it'll wear off. So why do people pretend that every new year is suddenly going to be different from all the previous ones?

This is what I want you to do. Stop giving a crap about what time of year it is. I'm serious. No lame excuses. If you want to do something, just do it already. If you need to think think about why it's so difficult for you to motivate yourself, then do that first. But stop relying on the beginning of the year to motivate you. January is sick of your bullshit.

JP