07 April 2014

F is for Foster (Or, Maiden Names & Pen Names)

Most of my coworkers call me by my last name, Foster. Actually, my boss will scream it at me whenever he sees me. On the rare occasions when he's called me by my first name (like, literally once or twice), I had to point it out--"You just called me Sarah." "What?! I did?" Despite all this, I never really thought about my last name being part of my identity, that is, until I got engaged. Now, I get asked all the time, "What's your new last name gonna be???"

Well, here's the thing. I'm not entirely sure if I'm going to change it. And it has nothing to do with some sort of feminist viewpoint or anything. Part of me just doesn't find it necessary. I've spent 26 years with this name, why change it now? I don't think taking my husband's last name would create a stronger connection with him. It feels more like changing a part of my identity just because people expect me to.

Honestly, though, part of my decision has to do with my writing. Now, obviously I haven't published anything yet, but I also haven't done any wedding planning yet either. And I always thought that if I published anything before I got married, I wouldn't change my last name. Of course, this isn't going to be the only deciding factor, but if it does happen, it could be a big one.

Which leads me to pen names. If I really wanted to, I could publish my book under any name I choose, or any variation on my own name. For a long time, I thought I'd include my middle initial, but I think I've moved past that desire. And replaced it with slightly rational fear. At least, I think it's rational. See, sometimes I worry that if the first book I publish is gay fiction, then my publisher is going to make me change my name, maybe make me use initials to hide my identity as a woman. Which I absolutely can't stand. I know I'm probably way over-thinking things, as well as getting way ahead of myself (how about I finish writing the book first, right?). But it's not like I never thought about it.

Considering the fact that writing involves pretending to be someone else a lot, I really just want to be myself. I don't want to have to hide behind my book or my husband's last name. I want to do things my way. And an identity is something that only I can create.

10 comments:

  1. Choosing which name to publish under is TRICKY!!! I struggled over it for a long time and finally decided to use my maiden name and my married name.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I had thought about publishing under my maiden name, but with the past 7 years of having a different last name, I've adopted my husband's name as part of my identity. Not to mention my website already said Townsend...

    At least as a writer, people will less likely ask you why you aren't changing your name. (My cousin suffered the constant questions).

    ReplyDelete
  3. Having used my husband's last name for over 40 years, I cannot imagine not doing so, but I know many women who don't use their husband's name in business life but do in social life.

    JO ON FOOD, MY TRAVELS AND A SCENT OF CHOCOLATE

    ReplyDelete
  4. I use a pen name, but I think I broke all the rules of pen names. I have three girl names and they all sound like first names. But, I like it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. The whole name thing is a big issue, and a big decision. When I started publishing short stories, I did so under my "real" name. When I published a novel, it was in a very different genre from my previous work. Romance readers are niche readers, so I came up with Elaine LeClaire. The tricky part now is getting Amazon KDP to understand both names add up to one person. I'm A to Z-ing also!

    ReplyDelete
  6. i am married and I used my given name on my work, am very proud of it :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. LOVE Foster as a girl's first name - might have to steal it! ha! definitely keep it for writing. i like pen names - mine is my middle name. it's only confusing for those who know me, but i want my pen name to reach farther! with a little anonymity to hide in if needed =)
    happy g day!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm hearing you. I took my husband's last name (Narayan) when I got married because I'm a traditional sort of girl, but I love the last name I grew up with--Burton. I thought, for sure, I would use it when I published my first novel. And I might, if that day ever comes, even though there are some pitfalls to using a pen name. I don't regret changing my last name because I want to have the same last name as my kids.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm so shy about sharing my writing that if I ever got published I'm pretty sure I'd want to use a pen name just in case everyone hated it LOL!!! I think I've been blogging anonymously too long hehe.

    ReplyDelete